Dr. Micaela (Dr. Michaela)

Like do those things.

And then in the places that you really can't do that or that it has been punishing for you.

Having some kind of usually external stimulation and I say external because if you do your own internal distraction and just sit there quietly and kind of nod your head, that can also sometimes get us into trouble because like we actually need to hear what our bosses are saying or friends, you know.

Uh, like, oh, I do need to listen a little bit.

Uh, so that's where like, I'm going to use the word fidgets, but that's where doing something with your hands.

Um, whether that's like maybe wear a little bit more jewelry, um, wear cuff, wear shirts with cuffs that have buttons on them.

Um, so that you can kind of like pick at them or fiddle with them, uh,

Any amount of like, let me do something with my hands, taking notes, if it's appropriate to the setting, like don't go to coffee with a friend and like take notes with the conversation.

But some kind of little bit of stimulation that you can add into the moment to help you kind of with that antsiness, if you will.

Yeah, totally.

Also things like doing dishes together.

Unpleasant.

We don't want to do it.

It's a mildly distracting activity.

It does facilitate the conversation.

I think there's another piece of it, too, of the, like, when I don't have the intensity of the eye contact sometimes, it kind of frees up.

I don't know if it's, like, emotional bandwidth or cognitive bandwidth, but there is something that really facilitates certain, like, maybe harder conversations when you don't have that, like, directness.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so I was thinking, because I primarily work with younger folks.

And so like, if you are sitting across from an adult as a child, it's usually because you're in trouble.