Dr. Nicole LePera

Yes. We feel like, especially if it's our loved one, our partner, our child, if you loved me and valued our relationship enough, you would just stop whatever addictive behavior that it is. And I think that there are addictive behaviors outside of even using substances.

Yes. We feel like, especially if it's our loved one, our partner, our child, if you loved me and valued our relationship enough, you would just stop whatever addictive behavior that it is. And I think that there are addictive behaviors outside of even using substances.

we assign this personal meaning that we're not enough for them to want to stop. And I think this is another one of those areas that, in my opinion, at least addictive behaviors of all kind are a coping mechanism and are or need to become the responsibility or the daily choice that that person makes, of course, with the support of safe, connected others to help them.

we assign this personal meaning that we're not enough for them to want to stop. And I think this is another one of those areas that, in my opinion, at least addictive behaviors of all kind are a coping mechanism and are or need to become the responsibility or the daily choice that that person makes, of course, with the support of safe, connected others to help them.

Though until they are showing up in service of making new choices, unfortunately, and developing new ways to cope with whatever the underlying dysregulation is, those addictive behaviors might need to continue.

Though until they are showing up in service of making new choices, unfortunately, and developing new ways to cope with whatever the underlying dysregulation is, those addictive behaviors might need to continue.

I believe that those coping mechanisms develop in childhood, usually around deep-rooted beliefs of not enough, not worthy, inabilities to deal with very difficult and upsetting emotions, learning these addictive habits or what begin as behaviors that then turn into relied upon addictive habits to help them navigate these deep feelings.

I believe that those coping mechanisms develop in childhood, usually around deep-rooted beliefs of not enough, not worthy, inabilities to deal with very difficult and upsetting emotions, learning these addictive habits or what begin as behaviors that then turn into relied upon addictive habits to help them navigate these deep feelings.

And the emotions that come along with them, the shame, I think shame is at the foundation of a lot of these addictive behaviors. And then by focusing time, attention, getting the physiological components of these behaviors, many of them, the byproducts, is the distance that they need.

And the emotions that come along with them, the shame, I think shame is at the foundation of a lot of these addictive behaviors. And then by focusing time, attention, getting the physiological components of these behaviors, many of them, the byproducts, is the distance that they need.

And oftentimes it's because they don't feel that safety and the security in the earliest relationships to be who they are, to turn to others for the support that they need. And then they continue to rely on it. And this is why, again, I believe all healing, including of addictive behaviors, needs to be holistic.

And oftentimes it's because they don't feel that safety and the security in the earliest relationships to be who they are, to turn to others for the support that they need. And then they continue to rely on it. And this is why, again, I believe all healing, including of addictive behaviors, needs to be holistic.

There needs to be other ways that these individuals learn relational ways to cope and to gain the support that they need, right? It's not enough just to, you know, avoid the people, places and things. As I think I worked in a lot of people who were in, and I think a lot of people gain benefit of those AA model types of recovery. I'm not trying to, minimize the benefit.

There needs to be other ways that these individuals learn relational ways to cope and to gain the support that they need, right? It's not enough just to, you know, avoid the people, places and things. As I think I worked in a lot of people who were in, and I think a lot of people gain benefit of those AA model types of recovery. I'm not trying to, minimize the benefit.

But I think it needs to be much more of an embodied approach for the many that continues to relapse. Because until new coping tools and new relationships are built, it's only a matter of time before that emotional upset will come to the point of that returned reliance on the addictive way of coping.

But I think it needs to be much more of an embodied approach for the many that continues to relapse. Because until new coping tools and new relationships are built, it's only a matter of time before that emotional upset will come to the point of that returned reliance on the addictive way of coping.

That vernacular is so common. I think probably people are shaking their heads like, yes, that is true. This person does make me feel responsible.

That vernacular is so common. I think probably people are shaking their heads like, yes, that is true. This person does make me feel responsible.

comes from an early learned experience where there did lack those emotional boundaries, where we weren't modeled by emotionally mature adults, which really simply means ability to own emotions, to regulate emotions, and to take responsibility for the reactions that come from emotions. For me as a psychologist, there was in the field an evolving view of what emotions are.

comes from an early learned experience where there did lack those emotional boundaries, where we weren't modeled by emotionally mature adults, which really simply means ability to own emotions, to regulate emotions, and to take responsibility for the reactions that come from emotions. For me as a psychologist, there was in the field an evolving view of what emotions are.