Dr. Nicole LePera

What is just agitated overwhelm in one moment.

It might be a couple minutes, hours, even days like, oh, wow, I'm feeling hurt by what it is that happened.

But I can't still yet do that in the moment because I'm still in a state of flooding where it's too much and I don't have the capacity to hold what I'm feeling and to in real time share it with someone else.

So instead I react and I then shamefully come back and say, hey, I'm sorry about that reaction.

I was really stressed and this is what I really meant in that moment.

But I'll admit it happens after the fact once I'm calm, because again, my practice is to just become overwhelmed and either disconnect or react from a feeling that I don't yet have clarity on.

it's helping me make them more real, right?

More authentic, more grounded in vulnerability, messiness, emotion, as opposed to, right, kind of curated visions, who I think I need to be for you and just allowing someone to, while I'm still practicing doing so,

See me as I am.

Share a feeling.

It's giving me the opportunity to allow in support.

I'm very intentionally wording it that way because, again, what I'm most familiar with is dealing with all my feelings alone, right?

Through alcohol, through drugs, and all the things we talked about.

Perfection, doing.

I'm still learning.

to an invulnerable moment, go to someone who feels safe to me and say, hey, I'm struggling.

This is what's going on.

This is what I'm feeling.

Of course, once I have clarity and to just let myself be seen and connected with.

So even going back to my family and the evolution, as we're all working to be more honest with ourselves and to share that with other people, themselves, in my romantic relationship with my partner, who's still with me on this journey, right?