Dr. NoSleep

There you go, he says, sliding it across the counter to me.

I'll even put in my employee discount so that even with tax, it only comes to $125.

How's that sound?

Like a deal, I say and give him my credit card.

He places the card in the tray, scrapes the handle back and forth, then pulls out the receipt and hands it to me.

Enjoy, he says as I fold the receipt up and place it in my wallet with my credit card.

Call me if you have any issues.

I will, don't worry, I say and leave the store.

As I get in the car, the lights outside and in the store slowly turn off.

When I pull away, I see the clerk standing at the front door, waving at me from the dark.

I try not to shiver.

Freaking nerd, I say and aim my car for home.

Even with the cute little thing sitting in front of her on the kitchen counter, my wife isn't impressed.

This cost how much?

She asks.

125.

It was a real bargain.

Nothing that costs over $100 is a bargain.

You drop $100 every time you go to the hairdresser.

And I've never called it a bargain.