Dr. NoSleep

She glares at me for a moment, then rolls her eyes and waves at the thing.

Okay, show me how it works.

I turn the thing on, and it beeps to life.

Its empty plastic orbs fill with bright light, like its eyes have come to life.

It says in a high-pitched, electronic voice.

Uh, I'm Carl, I say.

Melinda, my wife says.

My wife and I chuckle and look at each other, amused.

Okay, yeah, maybe it wasn't a great idea.

The thing is already busted, I say.

What does that mean?"

my wife asks.

The robot moves quickly, and I'm blinded by the arterial spray of blood as the machine slashes my wife's throat.

I wipe the blood away and start to scream, but my voice is cut off as my own throat is slashed.

Pain and confusion fill my entire being, and I collapse onto the floor next to my dying, gasping wife.

Above me, as my sight grows dim, I see the robot at the end of the counter, peering down.

My wife leaves me, and my mind fades away as I hear the bench buddy hum to himself.

Then I hear a saw blade start up, and all goes dark.

Starting a business always sounds exciting until you realize how many little things you suddenly have to figure out.

We've experienced that firsthand with No Sleep Coffee.