Dr. Paul Conti

I think we have to look at trauma as not anything negative that happens to us, right?

But something that overwhelms our coping skills.

and then leaves us different as we move forward.

So it changes the way that our brains function, right?

And then that change is evident in us as we move forward through life.

We can see it in mood, anxiety, behavior, sleep, physical health.

So we can identify it and we can also see it in brain changes.

If trauma rises to the level of changing the functioning of our brains, then there's almost always a reflex of guilt and shame

around the trauma that can lead us and often leads us to bury it, to avoid it, which is exactly the opposite of what needs to be done.

We need to communicate and put words to what's going on inside of us.

And very often a person knows, but they're not admitting it to themselves because they're afraid of it.

They don't know what to do.

But if they start talking, then they'll talk about

the event or the situation could be something acute or it could be something chronic that really has been harmful to them, right?

And then they feel different afterwards.

But that doesn't always happen.

Sometimes it's a process of exploration through dialogue, right?

Whether it's written or whether it's spoken of the person sort of exploring the changes inside of themselves, maybe changes to their self-talk inside, changes to their thoughts about the world and whether they can navigate safely and readily in it

And it anchors, as I talk about this, the example I'll use at times is the example of my own life, where when I was much younger, in my early 20s, my younger brother took his life by suicide.

And the response of guilt and shame and hiding all of it inside of me