Dr. Paul Conti

So we can think about something over and over again in our brains and not get anywhere, right?

In almost all of us, we've had this experience, right?

Like, gosh, I've been thinking about that for two hours now or on and off for three days.

I'm not getting anywhere.

Well, that's because when that's happening, we're not really thinking about it.

We're not bringing our whole brain to bear, and it's just kind of pinging around inside of us.

But if we do it in a different way, for example, if we write that down, or if we speak words to another person, different parts of our brain come online.

So parts, for example, that are involved in error checking, like, oh, is that really true?

Or what does that really mean?

So instead of having things knock around in our minds, which is often how we get into negative self-talk,

then that negativity or that thing I can't solve knocking around in my mind becomes, oh, what the hell is wrong with you that you can't fix that?

That's what becomes the mantra over and over again in our minds.

But we can go and look at that and say, whoa, I don't want that just pinging around inside of me.

I want to gain some control over this.

And by putting it into words and saying, what is this thing I'm telling myself over and over again?

I'm going to go write that down.

Or I'm going to sit down with this friend of mine or, you know, a partner, a family member, whoever.

I'm going to sit down with someone.

I'm going to talk about this.

And this is the compassionate curiosity.