Dr Paul Eastwick

But I also need to remember to actually hang out with people in person and maybe try out some new hobbies and meet some new people if my current social networks aren't really doing it for me.

So I just want to turn down the emphasis on the self-improvement stuff because my suspicion is that though it helps some people a lot, either it only helps somewhat for other people, and when those solutions stop changing people's fortunes, they get frustrated.

So I really just want to remind people that there's another avenue out here.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

I mean, that's an apt metaphor there.

But I think that's right.

But keeping in mind that, look, improving your attributes is going to have some value.

But remember, it's going to have actually less value in a context where people are getting to know you over time.

I mean, this is going back to some of the mate value consensus stuff we were talking about earlier.

Yeah.

There's a funny implication of all of this, which is that if you're exceptionally hot, if everybody can see your good qualities right there on the surface, you're actually best served by hopping from bar to bar or party to party.

Because the only thing that's going to happen as people get to know you is that some subset of folks are going to think you're less appealing.

So if we're talking about church, for example,

Yes, it can help to improve your attributes a little bit.

But remember, that's going to start to matter less after you've been going for a month or three months or six months or a year.

but not if the other sevens in your midst don't get to opt out of hanging out with the fives.

If they don't get to opt out of hanging out with the fives, some of those fives are going to increase in their appeal to the sevens, and your appeal might go down.

So you are thinking about it exactly correctly, right?

in an environment where it where you know imagine like dating somebody sequentially and you drop off after they seem sufficiently unappealing yes exactly but if we're