Dr. Ramani Durvasula

Okay. All right. So I would give you probably like a C plus, B minus if you're a student in my class. I mean, I cut students a lot of slack back in the day. So I'll give you a C plus, B minus. Because you're in the neighborhood, right? The grandiosity, the arrogance. Yeah. The meanness, but that to me is even more sort of a manifestation of the traits, like the grandiosity, the arrogance.

Okay. All right. So I would give you probably like a C plus, B minus if you're a student in my class. I mean, I cut students a lot of slack back in the day. So I'll give you a C plus, B minus. Because you're in the neighborhood, right? The grandiosity, the arrogance. Yeah. The meanness, but that to me is even more sort of a manifestation of the traits, like the grandiosity, the arrogance.

They have variable empathy and typically have low empathy. They're deeply entitled. They truly think they're more special than everyone else and that the rules should apply to them very differently. They have an excessive need for admiration and validation. They're very superficial. They don't really have the capacity for deep, sustained, intimate relationships.

They have variable empathy and typically have low empathy. They're deeply entitled. They truly think they're more special than everyone else and that the rules should apply to them very differently. They have an excessive need for admiration and validation. They're very superficial. They don't really have the capacity for deep, sustained, intimate relationships.

They're very much referential to the world outside of them to set goals. They don't have a good internal sense of what matters to me. What do I want to do? They just want to do what they do, again, to get that admiration and validation. There's a shallowness, a real emotional shallowness to narcissism. Those are the patterns and traits we sort of see.

They're very much referential to the world outside of them to set goals. They don't have a good internal sense of what matters to me. What do I want to do? They just want to do what they do, again, to get that admiration and validation. There's a shallowness, a real emotional shallowness to narcissism. Those are the patterns and traits we sort of see.

They're very, very self-centered, very preoccupied with themselves, the good parts of themselves, the bad parts of themselves. It's very rare for them to sort of lift their heads up and genuinely notice the experience of another person. That's what narcissism is. How does it show up? It shows up as devaluation, dismissiveness, manipulation, gaslighting, being

They're very, very self-centered, very preoccupied with themselves, the good parts of themselves, the bad parts of themselves. It's very rare for them to sort of lift their heads up and genuinely notice the experience of another person. That's what narcissism is. How does it show up? It shows up as devaluation, dismissiveness, manipulation, gaslighting, being

They get angry very quickly, especially when they're frustrated or disappointed, and that can show up as overt rage or overt anger, yelling, screaming, or even violence. That can show up as passive aggression, withholding and withdrawing. They are prone to betrayal. They lie. They cheat.

They get angry very quickly, especially when they're frustrated or disappointed, and that can show up as overt rage or overt anger, yelling, screaming, or even violence. That can show up as passive aggression, withholding and withdrawing. They are prone to betrayal. They lie. They cheat.

They make promises about the future they never keep, but they do that to keep people around so they won't leave them. So it's part of a larger sort of a manipulation. They will dominate people. They have to get the last word. They will shift blame onto other people. They will rarely take responsibility for their misdeeds, even when they're clearly caught in them.

They make promises about the future they never keep, but they do that to keep people around so they won't leave them. So it's part of a larger sort of a manipulation. They will dominate people. They have to get the last word. They will shift blame onto other people. They will rarely take responsibility for their misdeeds, even when they're clearly caught in them.

And if they do, they'll still blame the other person. They're very neglectful and careless in relationships. That is narcissism.

And if they do, they'll still blame the other person. They're very neglectful and careless in relationships. That is narcissism.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When a person has a bad day, and we all have bad days, and on those bad days, we might look, if the only tape someone had of us was of that day, ooh, right? But here's the piece. When people are not narcissistic and they have bad days, they will... take accountability, they will make amends, and they will change their behavior and say, I'm not doing this again. This is not okay.

When a person has a bad day, and we all have bad days, and on those bad days, we might look, if the only tape someone had of us was of that day, ooh, right? But here's the piece. When people are not narcissistic and they have bad days, they will... take accountability, they will make amends, and they will change their behavior and say, I'm not doing this again. This is not okay.

Why wasn't it okay? Because it was none of those people's fault. You didn't get enough sleep.

Why wasn't it okay? Because it was none of those people's fault. You didn't get enough sleep.