Dr. Richard Hogan

Totally different.

Yeah, yeah.

My partner's phone.

The only time I check my partner's phone is if she says to me, you have to go up and collect the kids there because they want you to collect them.

I'm like, oh, they've asked for me to collect them.

That's kind of different.

So it's kind of joking that we're messing.

But have I actually genuinely gone... They said you were collecting them tonight at the end of the teen disco at two in the morning.

And they want Dad to do that.

But anyway... But no, in terms of what we mean here.

See, I think boundaries and all that, they're really important.

And people always think boundaries are about like, you know...

teaching people how to, you know, are there kind of like in a way kind of instructive for a kind of forcing respect boundaries about self-respect, you know, really about how you want to be in the world.

And that's a boundary that I don't want to cross because I don't want to feel that I don't trust somebody, you know what I mean?

And if I'm being honest, I've never really felt that in my relationship, to be honest.

I remember working with a couple many years ago now and they came in around these issues and

he was saying, the male partner was saying that she checked my phone and she was saying, yeah, but you changed your password to your phone.

And I could see the two of them in this really strange dynamic between them.

The two of them were, you know, they both felt aggrieved, you know, and victimized by the other.

One felt that I had to check your phone because you changed your password and I changed my password because you checked my phone.