Dr. Richard Hogan

But, you know, another mistake that people make, right, that I'd see, and I'd hear it really borne out in the clinic from the kids, is that, just say, I'm the dad, say myself, I'm Eric, I'm separate, I'm in a new relationship, and we're having vengeful...

That was last week's podcast there.

It's a fantastic I didn't invent it.

I think Ciara you did invent it.

You're like Medea sex.

So let's say I've got my three kids and I'm in a new relationship now and my new partner has their three kids whatever.

You are the Brady Bunch.

We're the Brady Bunch now, right?

And here's where I see a big problem is, and I often think it's like an analogy for like, you know, the teacher who teaches his own child, you know, they can often be stricter with their child to show the class that I take no favourites here.

And what I'd see borne out, say clinically, is that the kids of, say me, let's say in this dynamic, in this hypothetical situation, I'm stricter with them than I am with my partner's children.

and you breed incredible resentment from your own kids because you're picking them up on stuff and you're overcorrecting them because you don't show them, I don't have favorites here and we're all the same in this dynamic.

You're overcompensating for that part.

And what you said actually in that early part is so important, right, about respect.

The fundamental boundary that should be in place.

I'm not going to parent these kids yet.

I probably will if we're living together for, you know, we're going into life together and that's going really well.

Then you will be parenting.

I mean, you will be bringing rules in with your partner and you will be parenting each other's children and all that.

But in the early days, I won't be doing that, but I will have a fundamental boundary around respect.

And when they cross that boundary, I'll be saying that to them, you know, we have respect between us.