Dr. Richard Hogan

And you know what, you might never love their children.

You might have a difficult relationship with one of the children and allow for difference in your relationships because that's just life.

You know what I mean?

You might have a better relationship with one child and not so good with another child.

And I would say just allow for that and never mention that and never articulate how you like Ciara more than Sinead or whatever it is.

And just allow for the fact that some relationships are longer burns and you just never know what's going on in a child's head and why they're rejecting you.

Don't take it personally.

Exactly.

Down the line, exactly.

Well, that's the tribe getting bigger.

That's it.

And allow your system not to be so rigid and your expectations about how it should go and just allow, you know, just allow people to be different within that family, this new family system and just give it time.

I think what you're saying about patience is absolutely correct, Ciara.

We shall indeed.

Hello and welcome back to They Mess You Up, the podcast with myself, Dr. Richard Hogan.

Ciara, today we're going to talk about something that is really close to my own heart and something that I'm really fascinated by and intrigued with.

The idea of moving or changing your career as you maybe get a little bit older.

Because so many of us fall into our...

degrees so many of us fall into the job we get from those degrees and generally in my experience working around the mid 40s we might start to think is this it is this what i wanted to do is this actually what i wanted to do and start to think maybe i'm too old to shift direct you know to change trajectory here would it be too much of an inconvenience for the whole family these are thoughts i kind of had you know will i stay well should i just stick this out for another 20 years or what is it i should do here but that really creeps in doesn't it for some people

Well, like I did an English and psychology degree to start with.