Dr. Rick Hanson

I'm a scruffy individualist. I'm a therapist, I'm mellow, and I'm a longtime meditator. I'm very individualistic and determined. And I think that autonomy is crucial. Autonomy is the foundation of intimacy. We can't be connected with others.

if we don't feel that we're coming from a kind of an internalized secure base inside ourselves, which has a meaning and attachment theory, you probably know it may have a military meaning as well, secure base of operations. Anyway, that's autonomy and without mindfulness, We lack autonomy.

if we don't feel that we're coming from a kind of an internalized secure base inside ourselves, which has a meaning and attachment theory, you probably know it may have a military meaning as well, secure base of operations. Anyway, that's autonomy and without mindfulness, We lack autonomy.

if we don't feel that we're coming from a kind of an internalized secure base inside ourselves, which has a meaning and attachment theory, you probably know it may have a military meaning as well, secure base of operations. Anyway, that's autonomy and without mindfulness, We lack autonomy.

We're pushed around by this or that, including the internalized impact of life experiences going all the way back to early childhood that we don't even remember. Those forces are like strings pulling us as a puppet. But with mindfulness, snip, snip, snip, we start cutting those strings and we become more and more our own person at home in charge of ourselves.

We're pushed around by this or that, including the internalized impact of life experiences going all the way back to early childhood that we don't even remember. Those forces are like strings pulling us as a puppet. But with mindfulness, snip, snip, snip, we start cutting those strings and we become more and more our own person at home in charge of ourselves.

We're pushed around by this or that, including the internalized impact of life experiences going all the way back to early childhood that we don't even remember. Those forces are like strings pulling us as a puppet. But with mindfulness, snip, snip, snip, we start cutting those strings and we become more and more our own person at home in charge of ourselves.

Short version, we have a brain designed by evolution over 600 million years of the evolution of the nervous system to be biased. by being like Velcro for bad experiences, but Teflon for good experiences. And that's because in the wild, our ancestors, going all the way back, needed to get carrots and avoid sticks.

Short version, we have a brain designed by evolution over 600 million years of the evolution of the nervous system to be biased. by being like Velcro for bad experiences, but Teflon for good experiences. And that's because in the wild, our ancestors, going all the way back, needed to get carrots and avoid sticks.

Short version, we have a brain designed by evolution over 600 million years of the evolution of the nervous system to be biased. by being like Velcro for bad experiences, but Teflon for good experiences. And that's because in the wild, our ancestors, going all the way back, needed to get carrots and avoid sticks.

The difference is that if you don't get a carrot today, food or a mating opportunity, you'll have a chance tomorrow. But if you fail to avoid that stick today, that predator, that aggression in your band or between bands, whoop, no more carrots forever.

The difference is that if you don't get a carrot today, food or a mating opportunity, you'll have a chance tomorrow. But if you fail to avoid that stick today, that predator, that aggression in your band or between bands, whoop, no more carrots forever.

The difference is that if you don't get a carrot today, food or a mating opportunity, you'll have a chance tomorrow. But if you fail to avoid that stick today, that predator, that aggression in your band or between bands, whoop, no more carrots forever.

So the brain is tilted toward over-learning from painful, stressful, upsetting experiences, including in everyday life, and under-learning from beneficial experiences, including experiences of the strengths we want to grow. They wash through the brain like water through a sieve. Well, negative experiences of feeling criticized, disappointed, less than others, lonely, irritated, aggrieved.

So the brain is tilted toward over-learning from painful, stressful, upsetting experiences, including in everyday life, and under-learning from beneficial experiences, including experiences of the strengths we want to grow. They wash through the brain like water through a sieve. Well, negative experiences of feeling criticized, disappointed, less than others, lonely, irritated, aggrieved.

So the brain is tilted toward over-learning from painful, stressful, upsetting experiences, including in everyday life, and under-learning from beneficial experiences, including experiences of the strengths we want to grow. They wash through the brain like water through a sieve. Well, negative experiences of feeling criticized, disappointed, less than others, lonely, irritated, aggrieved.

And we live at the age of grievance. Those, boom, get stuck immediately. That's a fact. And we can recognize that in all kinds of ways. And there's a lot of science about this in detail. Okay, great. Now, what do we do about it? I have a little bit of a saying, three parts, deal with the bad, turn to the good, take in the good. So for sure, we got to deal with the bad.

And we live at the age of grievance. Those, boom, get stuck immediately. That's a fact. And we can recognize that in all kinds of ways. And there's a lot of science about this in detail. Okay, great. Now, what do we do about it? I have a little bit of a saying, three parts, deal with the bad, turn to the good, take in the good. So for sure, we got to deal with the bad.

And we live at the age of grievance. Those, boom, get stuck immediately. That's a fact. And we can recognize that in all kinds of ways. And there's a lot of science about this in detail. Okay, great. Now, what do we do about it? I have a little bit of a saying, three parts, deal with the bad, turn to the good, take in the good. So for sure, we got to deal with the bad.

And one reason we grow strengths through turning to the good and taking in the good, is to deal with the bad. So there's nothing in this for me that's about positive thinking. I tend to avoid the word positive just because it's so easy to misunderstand as some la-di-da, discretionary, privileged luxury for upper-class yuppies.