Dr. Rick Hanson

Third, we overreact to it. People react more to loss than to gain. That's Kahneman's work on prospect theory and all the rest of that. Just think about the emotion. Somebody gives you $100. Oh, that's nice. On the other hand, what happens when you realize someone has stolen $100 from you? You know, the intensity is great. So overreact. And then fourth, really important, overlearning.

Third, we overreact to it. People react more to loss than to gain. That's Kahneman's work on prospect theory and all the rest of that. Just think about the emotion. Somebody gives you $100. Oh, that's nice. On the other hand, what happens when you realize someone has stolen $100 from you? You know, the intensity is great. So overreact. And then fourth, really important, overlearning.

Third, we overreact to it. People react more to loss than to gain. That's Kahneman's work on prospect theory and all the rest of that. Just think about the emotion. Somebody gives you $100. Oh, that's nice. On the other hand, what happens when you realize someone has stolen $100 from you? You know, the intensity is great. So overreact. And then fourth, really important, overlearning.

We're much more impacted typically by negative interactions with a friend or a lover or family member than we are by positive interactions. That's why positive interactions need to outnumber significantly by people debate the number, the factor, but by three to one, five to one or more. you know, in a long-term relationship.

We're much more impacted typically by negative interactions with a friend or a lover or family member than we are by positive interactions. That's why positive interactions need to outnumber significantly by people debate the number, the factor, but by three to one, five to one or more. you know, in a long-term relationship.

We're much more impacted typically by negative interactions with a friend or a lover or family member than we are by positive interactions. That's why positive interactions need to outnumber significantly by people debate the number, the factor, but by three to one, five to one or more. you know, in a long-term relationship.

And when I stumbled on that fact in grad school, I revisited the last three days with my wife and realized I needed to raise my game in terms of the ratio of positive and negative. So that's four things right there. That's really natural. And then fifth, as a result of that, the brain gets sensitized It's designed to become sensitized to negative experiences.

And when I stumbled on that fact in grad school, I revisited the last three days with my wife and realized I needed to raise my game in terms of the ratio of positive and negative. So that's four things right there. That's really natural. And then fifth, as a result of that, the brain gets sensitized It's designed to become sensitized to negative experiences.

And when I stumbled on that fact in grad school, I revisited the last three days with my wife and realized I needed to raise my game in terms of the ratio of positive and negative. So that's four things right there. That's really natural. And then fifth, as a result of that, the brain gets sensitized It's designed to become sensitized to negative experiences.

So when we're identified with anxiety, when we're hijacked by it, or anger or frustration, or feeling inadequate, that gets reinforced very quickly in the brain, and we become even more vulnerable to that kind of experience in the future.

So when we're identified with anxiety, when we're hijacked by it, or anger or frustration, or feeling inadequate, that gets reinforced very quickly in the brain, and we become even more vulnerable to that kind of experience in the future.

So when we're identified with anxiety, when we're hijacked by it, or anger or frustration, or feeling inadequate, that gets reinforced very quickly in the brain, and we become even more vulnerable to that kind of experience in the future.

Now, that's different from mindfully experiencing negative emotions, which actually then tends to neutralize them because we're starting to associate a kind of undisturbed observing of the negative experience with the negative experience, which tends to calm it down.

Now, that's different from mindfully experiencing negative emotions, which actually then tends to neutralize them because we're starting to associate a kind of undisturbed observing of the negative experience with the negative experience, which tends to calm it down.

Now, that's different from mindfully experiencing negative emotions, which actually then tends to neutralize them because we're starting to associate a kind of undisturbed observing of the negative experience with the negative experience, which tends to calm it down.

So those are five things that we're just naturally hardwired to do, which then, sixth, outside of the neurobiology in the world, tends to create vicious cycles with other people. And that's the negativity bias in a nutshell. There's certain situations where it's really useful. You know, you grow up in a war zone or you live in a war zone, it's really handy.

So those are five things that we're just naturally hardwired to do, which then, sixth, outside of the neurobiology in the world, tends to create vicious cycles with other people. And that's the negativity bias in a nutshell. There's certain situations where it's really useful. You know, you grow up in a war zone or you live in a war zone, it's really handy.

So those are five things that we're just naturally hardwired to do, which then, sixth, outside of the neurobiology in the world, tends to create vicious cycles with other people. And that's the negativity bias in a nutshell. There's certain situations where it's really useful. You know, you grow up in a war zone or you live in a war zone, it's really handy.

But for most people, modern life most of the time, it creates all kinds of needless suffering and needless aggravation with other people. And so practically, if we tilt toward valuing beneficial experiences in a kind of hard-nosed, clear-eyed way, not out of airy-fairy positive thinking, but in a hard-nosed, clear-eyed way.

But for most people, modern life most of the time, it creates all kinds of needless suffering and needless aggravation with other people. And so practically, if we tilt toward valuing beneficial experiences in a kind of hard-nosed, clear-eyed way, not out of airy-fairy positive thinking, but in a hard-nosed, clear-eyed way.