Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

Wait, what just happened?

And that, and she's like waking up out of survival mode and she's not post-traumatic yet, but she's about to be right.

So there's a lot of people and there are people who do that for 20 years.

So I think like a lot of times people hear about attachment theory, right?

And they're like, if one sentence it's like, oh man, this explains so much about me.

I get it.

Yeah, that's my attachment style.

And then you go, wait a minute.

I have a terrible internal working model of attachment.

Like I'm insecure or I'm disorganized or whatever I am.

And oh, that's it.

That's my attachment style.

My poor kids.

I hope I saved up enough money for their therapy.

Thankfully though, there's this other concept in attachment theory called earned secure attachment.

You can repair your own attachment in adulthood.

It's not only like I had secure attachment, I can give it, I can repair my attachment.

So in the book, I have this line that resonates with a lot of people, which is your inner child can't raise a child.

But in raising your real world child, you can heal your inner child.

So you can repair attachment by parenting in accordance with your values.