Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

And I want to give people that rubric for understanding that what the research actually shows on parenting and what good common sense and what me as a child psychologist knows is you absolutely have permission to do

both.

There are corners of the internet where people will talk about how like forcing your kids to brush their teeth can be an element of coercive control.

I guess you're sponsored by the American Dental Association who really want a lot of business.

I don't think you should force your kids to brush their teeth with a horse whip.

But I do think that as a parent, perhaps you're going to use a sticker chart and be like, I get it, buddy.

You don't want to brush your teeth.

You want to run around and play.

And it's going to take two seconds and we have this really fun toothbrush that plays a song and we're going to play the toothbrushing game now.

I don't think you're being coercive and controlling.

I think you're being a responsible parent.

So there are corners of the internet that will make you feel like doubt what you're doing, whether like you're raising a snowflake and you have to like demand everything of your kids or, oh my goodness, telling your kid to brush their teeth or using a sticker chart is coercive and abusive.

it's not let's get real here sometimes you got to do the sticker chart to get the five-year-old to brush his teeth and then like when he gets an extra episode of bluey all is good in the world and eventually it becomes a habit and you haven't harmed anybody and all is good you've taught him that yeah we got to maintain our bodies robin if a listener remembers only one thing from post-traumatic parenting what line do you want living on their fridge

I think this idea is that not only will your damage not damage your kids, but your damage can be the catalyst for you to break the cycle, right?

Your damage can actually make you into a better parent.

You're not flawed.

In some ways, you're uniquely qualified to parent because you know what your values are.

Sure.

So my podcast is called Post-Traumatic Parenting.

And we do one of two things.