Dr. Samantha Hiew

and your real self is not welcomed or accepted, then you're more likely to be more of that false self.

And then it comes back to the anger piece that you're talking about.

People may want to protect that so that they never have to look under the surface.

But then they ended up then projecting that anger

to the people near them, you know, their nearest and dearest people who could see who they are behind closed doors in order to protect the need to do that work.

But then if and when this person comes to the point, what they call dark night of the soul or, you know, a point in their life where nothing seems to work anymore, this false self just doesn't seem to work anymore for them because they're unhappy.

then they have to contend with that underlayer.

And this is when everything collapses.

Because when we get to that point of discovery, you know, which actually I've been, you know, true myself and I've

been in relationships with people who have come to that point where this is midlife.

Are you going to spend the rest of your life being this person that you have created that isn't real?

And when relationships start to fall away, people do not want to be with someone who's inauthentic anymore.

then they have no choice but to confront it.

And I think we are there right now in terms of how people choose to have relationships.

We don't want inauthentic relationships.

We want to build authentic relationships, conscious, based on what we're both doing and healing and bringing to the table.

So there comes a point where you do have to confront it.

And that's really hard work and deep work.

Yeah, it happens a lot to people who they start to understand more about themselves.

You know, they excavate and do more research and listen to podcasts.