Dr. Samantha Hiew

But then it came to a point where I'm just doing the excavation, trying to dig below the surface of really what makes me.

And trying to really shed the layers that didn't really serve me anymore.

And with that came a lot of dismantling.

Whether it was relationships that were formed because I needed that safety.

And then learning to come out and really own where I am in terms of not needing someone for safety.

Because...

that needing to do that in the past you know if you were entering a relationship because you want

to feel safe then you're always outsourcing that safety to other people and for me I realized that no one can do that for you and I learned to really anchor in myself and really regulate when something happens or you know any more moments of this regulation where relationships don't work out and it leads me to question you know who I am again and

And I do find that anchoring back in who you are is the way forward.

Well, very naturally, because I was a scientist and I learned to make sense of the world through biology.

And then I excavated so deep into what ADHD means and then now all DHD.

But then I realized there's only so far that science can take you.

The rest of it is really how you form relationships.

What are the relationships you have with yourself?

And it's in...

really dealing with that that person who is very young you know they call the psychology call it the inner child and it's so trying to recognize it's not just a child at play it's the protector of the child that comes out in situations that you know trigger me whether it's rsd or

know work my work being questioned or relationships not working out it does make me question why is there a need for the protector to be so strong and when i start to look at the protector and that's when everything just dissolved and i think this journey has been as much about understanding

neurodivergence as well as developing into a woman you know from a girl and so many autistic ADHDers have encountered whether it's

you know, emotional neglect or more overt like abuse, you know, adverse childhood experiences in their early life.

So they never really had that role model of someone who was there for them, who can validate their experience.