Dr. Samantha Hiew

And because we are known to have quite strong emotional intensity and obviously that begins in childhood.

And when you are born with this increased intensity, you know, you learn quite quickly early in life that

not everyone can hold the space for that and certainly not your autistic ADHD mother or you know your parents who may have sensory challenges and so you learn quite early in life that it's not okay to be that intense and you gotta hide that you know

And then you grow up and that part never really gets dealt with.

It gets pushed down.

And it's like you're submerging in water.

It's like you can't breathe sometimes.

And when you go into a relationship and someone triggers that feeling of walking on eggshells and not being able to express what you really want.

And then you're in a relationship because they...

related with the mask not the real you they didn't wonder the person who has needs they wanted the mask who can be there for them and it can re-traumatize the person inside that relationship and then you get to later in life like around my age you get people who are going through menopause perimenopause and there was a book that just came out recently called autistic menopause and they in it there was this one line that said um women who

tend to suppress their emotions, tend to do less well health-wise during menopause.

And it's in expressing what is being suppressed that really helps your health, especially when your sex hormones are going up and down.

And that's where I am right now.

It's that trying to differentiate...

who you are as you get older and become more empowered to discern and make your own decisions about who you are and who you let into your corner, who you align with.

That is entirely where I'm at right now.

So it's more...

What does that real self look like, you know?

So the young part of us that's never really, you know, properly expressed her feelings, right?

She's going to come out quite immature.