Dr. Samantha Hiew

You know, then you get her protector who may be angry, right?

But then if you have worked on really soothing the inner child and the protector, right?

Then over time, I'm not saying it's perfect.

I'm not saying that I can do it all the time, you know, in the moment.

But you give me some time, you know, the softness does, you know, come back.

And it's like what they say in psychology, you're reparenting your inner child.

But also the fact that you're not getting it from the outside, you're getting it inside you where you are reparenting your inner child in a way that

That scared, angry child doesn't come up every time when something doesn't work out.

And it does come with just practicing inside relationships, I think.

I think post-diagnosis, like diagnosis, a late diagnosis in itself is a traumatic event for a lot of people understanding, you know, in your 40s or 30s or the labels that are supposed to encapsulate your experience except that it doesn't fully.

Then it can make you think that you are so different and...

And then you may also think that, oh, maybe people who are autistic ADHD like me would be better friends.

And I've realized that whilst it's definitely cause for more understanding, being around people who share the same labels, many people in this population are also quite traumatized.

And that makes relationships challenging.

Because then you're trying not to trigger each other.

And the thing is, you are going into trauma-informed relationships whilst you are healing yourself.

So you are watching yourself both thinking...

am I really feeling this or am I being manipulative, you know, or am I being sincere here?

Is this right?

You know, like just questioning yourself, your behaviors more.