Dr. Samantha Hiew

Yeah, so it can be an interesting experience.

But on the flip side of that is there's no one else who could understand burnout better than someone who shares the same label, who can understand sensory challenges.

So we know that when we go out together, if we are both on the verge of burnout, we can just have individual pods.

I like to go to flotation tanks where...

I can just be by myself whilst a friend is in the other room.

So we both understand each other, so we don't have to spend time together, but it's almost like parallel play.

And that's great when you have a friendship like that.

Yes.

Well, speaking as somebody who has, you know, navigated quite a few relationship breakdowns and before my marriage, I used to...

think of myself as being quite what is that word serial monogamous you know and and never really understood what I could bring to relationships and my attachment patterns had changed over time from actually being quite avoidant to begin with you know I've then had a period of appearing quite secure because I was in a stable relationship I guess and then after that becoming quite anxious avoidant it keeps changing but right now

navigating what really aligns with my values in terms of um and everyone has different ones but for me it's so important that relationships are built on the truth my i don't care you know what the other person um is asking for no matter how unreasonable as long as it's the truth you know

But not everyone can tell you the truth.

Because when you come to my age, I'm in my mid-40s, and we have had preconditioning about what relationships are supposed to be.

And many of us grew up with parents who believe that even if you don't feel happy, you'll stay together forever.

But we're not like that.

Now we're the generation who believes that

love doesn't always work out and that's okay in some ways also we don't expect it to be perfect but we're also trying to figure out how to have conscious relationships then it can make it harder because once you become more discerning then you are less likely to say yes to majority of relationships

And it becomes quieter for a while, but that's okay because then you attract more alignment.

And really in this matter, quantity isn't as important as quality.

Many all-DHD women within the community that I've served and supported, they have said the autism assessment is really traumatizing.