Dr. Sarah Schnitker

Sometimes we have choices to wait.

Sometimes we don't.

But what distinguishes patience from other psychological constructs like delay of gratification is that with patience, it's how you wait.

Not whether or not you do, but when you wait, are you doing that calmly without getting overly dysregulated?

It doesn't mean you don't have any emotions, but that you're able to stay present and calm in the moment and not lose sight of your goal and what you're trying to do.

Well, you know, I think part of the reason I bring that point up a lot is because people often hear patience and think it's going to make you a doormat.

That if I'm patient, I won't get anything done.

I'll become lazy and not get there.

But what we show in our research is that patience actually helps facilitate goal pursuit.

And what it does is it helps you just keep going at the correct pace.

Not rushing ahead, pushing forward when you shouldn't and being reckless, but also not giving up because you're so upset and dysregulated and impatient, right?

That's actually what our data suggests is maybe the worst outcome, that passivity that comes with impatience when you just say, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel.

Exactly.

And I think, right, courage and patience really are complementary.

And if you have one without the other, we actually find you might not be in a good place.

It means you might just throw your hands up, give up, or you might recklessly push.

Maybe you would say, no, I deserve this raise now.

That's not going to win you a raise.

And so you need this back and forth between patience and courage.

And pushing forward is important, but also recognizing it's going to take time and it's going to involve waiting is just as important.