Dr. Shadé Zahrai

You over-apologize for things you shouldn't be apologizing for.

You don't speak up in the meeting.

You don't ask for what you deserve.

And you end up sacrificing what you want and need because you're prioritizing everyone else all the time.

and you don't know who you are.

So that's the likability trap.

We prioritize being liked over being true to who we are.

And I say we, because I struggle with acceptance.

I speak from experience here.

Now, the third one is what we refer to as the shrinking syndrome.

So this is where you see someone, and you might resonate with this if you're watching or listening, where...

an opportunity comes your way an incredible opportunity but suddenly your brain starts magnifying all the ways it could go wrong the ways you might fall short the ways you might fail that what will other people think and so you know what it's safer just to shrink back and make an excuse as to why you're not ready or why the timing is not right yeah you shrink from those incredible opportunities and then the fourth is the schadenfreude cycle

This is a German term and it refers to that feeling that some people get, that feeling of pleasure when they see other people struggle or other people stumble or other people fail.

And it's ego driven.

And it's because when they don't accept themselves, they like to see other people suffer too.

Oh, it's terrible.

It's absolutely terrible.

It's more common than you'd think.

It's why people love gossip.

It's why people love reading headlines that are tearing other people down.