Dr. Shadé Zahrai

So we do live in a world that is absolutely amplifying our self-doubts and is almost designed to get us to compare ourselves to others.

As you said, in university, you're often ranked against your classmates.

And we don't really have objective markers other than salary and how many cars you have and where you live and job title.

And the fact is, in the world that we live in as well, your job does attract a certain perceived status.

You know, lawyers, doctors, suddenly people go, ooh, they pay attention.

But this is just fueling this comparison that we have and this sense of not enoughness.

So how do we prevent ourselves?

We need to acknowledge we live in this world.

We're consumed by this world.

It's very easy to internalize these things.

And that is why these four pillars are so fundamentally important because we're just talking about the first one.

But as I go through the rest, you'll see how you can also use the other three to counterbalance.

So a lot of people struggle with acceptance and they think acceptance

Okay, I need to get my acceptance really strong before I'll be able to move forward and succeed and be happy.

Not necessarily.

It's a lifelong journey.

You can actually lean on other attributes.

So we call them the four A's, the four attributes of self-trust, which reflect our self-image.

You can lean on your other attributes.

to help you take action anyway, focus on what you need to focus on and prevent yourself getting stuck in that comparison cycle.