Dr. Shadé Zahrai

It's very much a human experience, but it reflects that someone doesn't fundamentally accept who they are.

Oh, I hate that.

I hate that too.

Wow.

It happens.

I'll share some of the simplest ones that are really, really tangible for people.

So what we see with anyone who struggles with acceptance is they will over-apologize.

Sorry, I'm talking too much.

Sorry, I'm so emotional.

The simplest thing you can do here, rather than apologizing, was to highlight an inadequacy and makes you feel less, is to shift into appreciation.

So instead of, sorry, I'm talking too much, you would say, thank you so much for listening.

Instead of, sorry, I'm being really emotional right now, thank you for bearing with me.

I'm passionate about this.

And this is the power of the words that we use when we're engaging with people, because it not only shapes how we feel, suddenly we're not apologizing for existing, we're actually acknowledging the other person.

So we feel better, but it makes the other person feel better too.

The next one is if you struggle with acceptance, you also tend to say yes before you've even processed what you... Is this resonating with your mouth?

Well, interestingly, a lot of really high achievers who have done incredible things in their life struggle with self-acceptance.

And it's one of the things that keeps them pushing, but it's also one of the things that really tethers them and is weighty.

So if you, like me, like Mel, tend to over-commit because you're saying yes to everybody else because you don't want to let them down...

What's really valuable is learning how to say no.