Dr. Shadé Zahrai
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
It is not going to help me.
So what is fantastic for anyone who tends to complain a lot?
You will also hear language of should.
Oh, I should have done that.
I should do this.
Mel, how do you feel if I were to say to you, oh, you should...
So-and-so.
How would you respond to the word of should?
I feel like I've done something wrong.
And you might feel a bit resistant.
It's because we experience something called reactance, which is this deep internal feeling of resistance.
Don't tell me what to do.
We want to feel like we're in control.
Uh-huh.
When we're saying should to ourselves, when we struggle with autonomy, it makes us feel terrible.
Now, research also shows that the language of should cuts off divergent thinking.
We don't think as clearly.
We don't think of solutions.
We don't think of options.
There is one swap.