Dr. Shadé Zahrai

And then after dinner, there was this family tradition where the little kids would dance for everybody.

So I would hear, which is, is going to dance for us.

And, you know, as a young kid, I loved the attention and they put on the music and it made everyone so happy.

What then happened, though, is over the years, as this became just this regular thing that we did every Friday, I started to feel less comfortable doing that, being the center of attention, as I became a little bit more self-conscious about who I was in my body.

And, you know, I was maybe 8, 9, maybe 10.

But I saw how happy everyone was when I was in this position of performing for them.

And I didn't want to let them down.

So I didn't know how to say no.

And it was around that age that I internalized this belief that I am only of value.

I am only worthy when I'm making other people happy, even if I'm not happy.

So for me, that was that early life experience that instilled this sense of lack of enough.

And then that just kept becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy when I was at university, when I started working in the legal industry, when I moved into banking and finance.

It followed me into every meeting, every conversation, every interaction.

I never felt like I was good enough to be there.

But I've also discovered over the last five or so years, as I've really deep dived into this, as I was doing PhD research into this,

Almost every single person experiences self-doubt.

It is not uncommon at all.

And yet those who are able to truly succeed, it's not that they eliminate the doubt, it's that they've found a way to strengthen who they are to move through it.

Okay, so I have been fascinated by this question for over a decade.

Even before I did my PhD research, I was seeing self-doubt in action in the workplace at every single level.