Dr. Shadé Zahrai

How can I change what I'm saying or how I'm saying it or when I'm saying it to reduce the chances that they're going to be interrupting me?

That's your first thing.

So you take full ownership.

The second stage is, okay, have I made this person aware of something that they're doing?

You could go to the person and say, look, I've noticed when we speak, you either get really excited or you're not aware of it, but you do cut me off a lot.

And I would like to be part of a conversation and a relationship or a friendship where both of us feel valued in what we say.

Were you aware of that?

A lot of the time people are not even aware of it because they're so stuck in their worlds.

So there are just a few little tools that you can use.

If you're blaming, try and bring it back to you instead of, oh, he never takes the trash out.

Okay.

Is there something I could be doing to remind him to take the trash out or put it in a different place so he takes the trash out?

Just bring it back to you again.

That boosts your autonomy.

Because adaptability is actually so much more than what we think it is, which is just adapting to life.

In the context of doubt, it's adapting to the emotions that come with life.

Okay.

Because emotions are generally experienced when we do something and it doesn't work out.

I mean, look, emotions are experienced all the time, but when it comes to self-doubt, there's something that we will have done or we'll be thinking of doing and then it doesn't work out and there's an emotion attached.

The disappointment, that feeling of I'm a failure, I'm not enough.