Dr. Shadé Zahrai

And he embodies this idea of the stories that we tell.

So, what he was referring to here is what we call, or what psychologists and researchers call, a redemptive story.

Dan McAdams has researched this for 40 years and he's found there are essentially two stories that we tell.

A redemptive story is one where bad things happened and we redeemed ourselves.

We learned something, we grew stronger, we accepted it.

A contamination story is where that story has become contaminated in your self-identity, your self-image.

You carry those scars with you everywhere.

And then you keep seeing it replayed.

Because remember, how you're showing up, the scars that you're carrying shape your expectation.

which then influences what you see through expectation bias.

So that's another, and a lot of people say, well, how is this self-doubt?

And I love that this is considered part of your self-image because if you do not believe or trust that you have the ability to shape your outcomes or redefine your story, you're going to struggle.

And that's why this third pillar is autonomy.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

And we also know that when you're remembering a memory, you're not actually remembering the first thing, the first time that it happened.

You're remembering the last memory you had of it.

And this is why actually memory is so fallible.

They've done some studies where they've looked at suggestion and they've had people witness a crime and then they get asked to report on the crime.