Dr. Shadé Zahrai

And when we got deeper, it's because when he was growing up, he had an older sister who was the golden child.

did everything right, achieved amazing things.

He was constantly compared to her and he wasn't given freedom to make decisions.

Because his parents had assumed that he's going to mess up.

So they told him, this is what you do.

This is because you're never going to be like her.

So we will create your path for you.

So he never had a sense of autonomy, which led him to constantly focus on things outside of his control because he had nothing that he felt he could control.

So we had to work through that process.

And this was really confronting for him because he naturally would resist, but we worked through it and he was open to it.

Then the next step is, okay, Bruno, is that story serving you?

genuinely is it serving you and it took him a while to acknowledge that no it wasn't he doesn't want to feel that way so then the next step is okay how would you rewrite this story in a way that served you what would you tell someone else let's go through that process so you essentially rewrite your story focusing on what you learned how you grew and how you became stronger using that curiosity and this took a little while for him to get comfortable with that and work through it

But then every time I would ask him, tell me your story again.

Tell me again, focus on what you learned.

And it was remarkable seeing how he changed.

Every part of him changed.

The way he would turn up, the way he initially would spend five minutes complaining at the beginning of a session to suddenly be smiling, sitting down, ready to get going.

And this is because when you re-edit your narrative, now we're not saying you change the facts.

You cannot change the facts.

What has happened has happened.