Dr. Sunita Sah

One of the major things that was really crucial to sort of changing how I thought about defiance is getting rid of some of the myths that defiance has to be aggressive, loud. You have to have a larger than life personality. You got to be me. You got to be you, right?

Monica and I are never going to be here. Don't rule that out.

Monica and I are never going to be here. Don't rule that out.

Monica and I are never going to be here. Don't rule that out.

We can find our own way. We can be defiant in a way that's unique to us. So understanding that defiance isn't just for the brave or the extraordinary, right? It's available and it's necessary for all of us. I think that's one mindset shift that we can really all use and understand. And then the other is what I call the defiance compass, which I think is very useful because

We can find our own way. We can be defiant in a way that's unique to us. So understanding that defiance isn't just for the brave or the extraordinary, right? It's available and it's necessary for all of us. I think that's one mindset shift that we can really all use and understand. And then the other is what I call the defiance compass, which I think is very useful because

We can find our own way. We can be defiant in a way that's unique to us. So understanding that defiance isn't just for the brave or the extraordinary, right? It's available and it's necessary for all of us. I think that's one mindset shift that we can really all use and understand. And then the other is what I call the defiance compass, which I think is very useful because

which is when we're faced with a situation and we're trying to decide what to do. We have that tension, then we take the pause and we try to understand. These three questions came from James Marsh, who's a sociologist. But I've sort of adapted them to be not just three questions that we ask implicitly for every decision, but to put them in a circle because I think it is a circular thing.

which is when we're faced with a situation and we're trying to decide what to do. We have that tension, then we take the pause and we try to understand. These three questions came from James Marsh, who's a sociologist. But I've sort of adapted them to be not just three questions that we ask implicitly for every decision, but to put them in a circle because I think it is a circular thing.

which is when we're faced with a situation and we're trying to decide what to do. We have that tension, then we take the pause and we try to understand. These three questions came from James Marsh, who's a sociologist. But I've sort of adapted them to be not just three questions that we ask implicitly for every decision, but to put them in a circle because I think it is a circular thing.

So the first question is, who am I? And that's really connecting with your values. So if you aspire to be someone who's fair, compassionate, has integrity, that's what you really need to think about. That's who you are, because that's really important. If you've not found that out, spend some time doing that because people that clarify their values are more likely to act in alignment with them.

So the first question is, who am I? And that's really connecting with your values. So if you aspire to be someone who's fair, compassionate, has integrity, that's what you really need to think about. That's who you are, because that's really important. If you've not found that out, spend some time doing that because people that clarify their values are more likely to act in alignment with them.

So the first question is, who am I? And that's really connecting with your values. So if you aspire to be someone who's fair, compassionate, has integrity, that's what you really need to think about. That's who you are, because that's really important. If you've not found that out, spend some time doing that because people that clarify their values are more likely to act in alignment with them.

And also there's research showing that it reduces your stress and cortisol levels if you actually know what your values are.

And also there's research showing that it reduces your stress and cortisol levels if you actually know what your values are.

And also there's research showing that it reduces your stress and cortisol levels if you actually know what your values are.

So really know who am I? You can ask yourself that. And then the second question. So that's internal. Then you go external. What type of situation is this? Is it safe and effective for me to defy? And then the last question is with these particular values, fair, full of integrity, all those things. What does a person like me do in a situation like this?

So really know who am I? You can ask yourself that. And then the second question. So that's internal. Then you go external. What type of situation is this? Is it safe and effective for me to defy? And then the last question is with these particular values, fair, full of integrity, all those things. What does a person like me do in a situation like this?

So really know who am I? You can ask yourself that. And then the second question. So that's internal. Then you go external. What type of situation is this? Is it safe and effective for me to defy? And then the last question is with these particular values, fair, full of integrity, all those things. What does a person like me do in a situation like this?

If you believe you're one type of person, but you're never acting in that way, you want to sort of start thinking about whether that really is who you are or not. And I've found those three questions really powerful in terms of knowing this is what I would like to do. Really tapping into our aspirational selves.