Dr. Todd Rose

What we end up giving into is fitting in.

Belonging is when you are recognized, accepted, and even loved for who you are.

So you have to do that for yourself first, because no one's going to do that for you.

But when you're in groups, and we've all felt this, right?

Like me with my grandmother.

I knew I was good enough.

Like, flaws and all, it didn't matter.

Like, I didn't have to be somebody else even in a small way for her to love me.

When you have that kind of relationship, there's nothing better in the world.

Okay, fitting in is you accept me if.

You accept me if.

If I like the things you like.

If I do the things you want me to do.

If I decide to be a computer scientist instead of an artist.

So many of our relationships are built on that kind of if.

And, you know, just like when you're not physically healthy, you forget what it feels like to be healthy.

When we're used to fitting in, we forget what it feels like to truly belong.

And I'll say this, and I'll say this to anyone listening or viewing, you deserve to belong.

You should not accept the status of just fitting in.

It's not good enough.