Elisa Donovan

is you know roses and calling all the time and confessing their undying love and you're my soulmate and all this which it is and it can be but love bombing really is figuring out what that person's needs wants interests are and matching them exactly on that right so i could love camping i don't but i could love camping right and i need to know and i meet somebody and they're like you know

you know what I would love to do one day?

I would love to go camping with you.

And you're like, what?

Right?

So it's really kind of sneakily figuring out what these person's needs are, what's missed in their development with their family, filling in all the holes so you feel like you're this puzzle piece.

And so when you're in that, you become blindsided.

It's like a tidal wave.

I've never had this before.

I've never felt like this before.

You're my soulmate.

And it's amazing.

And who doesn't want that?

Right.

You feel seen the whole thing.

Like we want to be understood.

We want to be seen and what we really care about.

And so you don't see it then.

And so what happens in that timeframe that's usually short, you make a lot of decisions that are very long-term in terms of their impact, like moving in together very fast, joining bank accounts very fast.

All of these things that seem normal and natural, yeah, fast, but normal and natural.