Elisa Donovan

So your options become really only what your brain can allow you to think of.

And that's why people feel stuck.

And why it's so hard for other people to get it.

Right, right.

It literally changes the reality of your own reality.

So what is the, is there a moment or a point where those survival instincts really do take over and then it changes how they respond?

Like, what is that?

Is that a particular moment or?

Yeah, so when I work with people who are in these relationships, I would say that the biggest thing, the biggest light switch moment that I have

with people is once they are able to, and this takes a long time, but once they're able to see the patterns, because here's the one thing, the playbook of a narcissistic dynamic is so obvious once you see it.

It is so textbook.

And so for one of the most destructive styles out there, it really is the most predictable.

And so once a survivor sees those patterns, you absolutely 100% cannot unsee it.

And so once they're able to not only predict the behavior, but know what it is and know why it's happening, then they start to become untouchable.

And they slowly start to, if this is them with the narcissist, right?

And they slowly start to separate, allowing them to see it for what it is.

And that's when you really want to start to make your moves at that point.

Right, right.

It's a very, in therapy at least, it's a very aha moment for people because it gives them so much empowerment in that moment to know that

oh my God, wait, this has nothing to do with me.