Elisabeth McKay

This creates a subconscious comparison scan.

The brain starts constantly asking, who has more than me?

Who is ahead?

Who's prettier?

Who's wanted more than me?

Who's more successful?

What does their success mean about me?

Well, plot twist, nothing.

And it is this childhood self-centeredness that doesn't get corrected that allows for this loop to persist into adulthood.

The person becomes addicted to comparison because comparison temporarily validates their emotional addiction cycle.

If they win, they feel temporary relief.

If they lose, it reinforces their painful narrative about being the victim.

Either way, the cycle perpetuates.

That's why jealousy is exhausting.

The nervous system never actually comes into a place of rest.

This happened a few weeks ago once where I had her 16th birthday.

And when I was watching it unfold, I marked it in my mind.

This is a great example to share with all of you because it happens.

And if you help a child learn how to map it correctly, it doesn't become a loop that persists.

They get a chance to get out of it.