Elizabeth
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
So I think it was a lover's tiff, to say the least, where person on fire smashed in the car as like a fuck you, lit it on fire, and then was like, you made me do this. Because the boyfriend kept yelling over him, baby, why did you do this? I told you not to do this. What have you done? Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
The neighbors were like, we have no idea who these people are. I think they just pulled up. Then we got back in the car, cried a lot, gathered ourselves and went to the concert. A lot of adrenaline.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
It was very healing. You have to laugh at the absurdity of here's a guy with his dick out on my Saturday night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
The thing that kept coming to my mind was like, we've got to cover him, like the decency of it. But meanwhile, he's got third degree burns. That is not his priority.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I did put it in the submission because I thought you might be curious. He had legitimately the largest dick I've ever seen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
No. Comparable to the microphone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
That feels unlikely, given the size.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
Of course. I feel so grateful to be able to talk to you guys right now. Three quick little shout outs. Is that OK? Yes, of course. Jess and Alexa are two of my good friends who are also huge armcherries and every week talking about what the episode was, what our takeaways are. So shout out, Jess, Alexa. I love you guys.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
The other one, Dax, specifically for you, I just wanted to say thank you because my family has been touched by addiction a lot and it's not always in our the media as much or in people's forefront of their minds about recovery and the life after. I think it's really important to show how much after recovery you still have to keep working at it. And it's a lifelong battle.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
It's not just you recover and then you're good.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
Yeah, exactly. My cousin is fully recovered and now runs a recovery clinic. So it's been really amazing to see his journey and see yours as well. And then for me personally, I actually went through an eating disorder recovery a couple years ago. And during mealtime, every time is obviously a struggle. So I would put you guys on and have a moment to laugh or cry or learn something.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
And I got through it bite by bite with you. So thank you so much for that. Thank you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I think it's so important because I think everyone has some type of warped relationship with food. And it's not something that I am embarrassed about at all. I think it's so important to talk about. So again, I just really feel grateful to you guys for helping me on that journey.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I am actually in L.A., in Culver City.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
Oh, great. Okay. If you could just send us screenshots and post those, that would be great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I have a first responder story that takes place here in LA. And the reason I moved out here is because my boyfriend and I were doing long distance between LA and New York for three years. He will feature heavily in this story. This story takes place August of 2024. I am not a trained first responder. My boyfriend is not a first responder.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
We stumbled into becoming first responders for an emergency. I'm not an adrenaline junkie in the way that I want to step in. I shut down.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
Absolutely not. So last summer, my cousin, who is a musician, was having a choir concert with his group downtown, and my boyfriend and I decided to go. I work sometimes from downtown LA, so I'm familiar with downtown proper, but not all of the neighborhoods. So this was somewhere that I'd never visited before.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
We are driving around looking for parking, and you guys know how horrific parking in LA can be. This is more of a residential area, though. We can't find anything. We're turning down all these side streets. We finally are on a side street that looks promising. So we're going kind of slowly along to try to see whether there's any spots. I'm driving. My boyfriend's in the passenger seat.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
There's a nice silver BMW. And its front window and back windows are smashed in. And there's little licks of flame on the front hood.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
And then notice there's two men near the car on the side of the road. One standing, shouting over the other one who is now rolling on the ground. And I'm clocking. Clothes are on the ground. Fire is now on the lawn. Oh, no. And I don't know at this point if this is a hate crime, if there's an attack. This is happening within like 0.5 seconds. We notice, okay, this man is on fire.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
My boyfriend, who was an emergency responder in college, but still goes back into full hero mode. I shut down. So he gets out of the car. He's like, call 911. I'm going to go assess the situation. The man who was standing over is kind of standing to the side. There's gasoline. And the man who was rolling on the ground has now stood up. Two things I clock immediately. He is fully naked.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
And covered basically in third degree burns. Oh. Oh my God.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
There's still little embers on the lawn. I now get a hold of the police. I'm trying to tell them where I am because I'm not familiar with the neighborhood. I look over. The man, who is fully nude, is now stumbling to my car, trying to get into the back seat to have me take him to the hospital.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
No unhoused, no clue on drugs. Okay. The guy is trying to get into my car. I'm like, hey, thank you so much, please. Thank you.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I'm still on the phone. They now cross the street. His person follows him. My person follows him. They're now all going around the corner and down the street. So they're out of sight. The paramedics finally come. At this point, the lawn is still going. The fire has now completely engulfed the car. Oh, the entire hood has melted off. It's a huge fire. All of the neighbors now are coming out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
We realized they were watching and filming from the inside, but no one did anything, which I was really angry about at first because I was like, how are you watching someone in an emergency, but also I recognize my privilege in that when I call the police, I feel safe. Not everyone feels that and everyone has their own reactions. So I think that's important to say.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
I am now watching the police try to get this car under control, try to get the neighbors to give some context and calling my boyfriend because I have no idea where he is.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: First Responder
Why did he leave? I've got a choir show. It turns out this entire time while I'm calling him, he's on the phone with the police. My boyfriend is now trying to have him stay in one place. He keeps running because he, in his state of mind, is saying, I just need to get to the hospital, not realizing we brought the hospital to you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Not a ghost story. When I was graduating college, I wanted to do something fun summer after. And my professor reached out and was like, I'm going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro over the summer. And I was like, oh, seems like a great opportunity. Something I would never do. Honestly, I love a shower at night, love to sleep in my bed, like not a camping girl.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
But for some reason, I was like, this is great. This is exactly what I need. I'd taken some classes with her. She was great. And she was like, I'm taking students from my last institution. We get there and she was like, oh, one more thing. After we hike the next day, I really like to go and get a massage. I was like, oh, that's awesome. I can get on board with a massage.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
We climbed the mountain. Honestly, the climb itself wasn't awful.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Seven days up, two days down. So nine in total. Yuck. No wonder you get a massage after.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
No, you're in a tent. I don't know why I wanted to do this. I would never do it again. I mean, I had a great experience.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
The whole nine yards. When we were at camp, they would set up these little tent porta potties. But if you had to go on the hikes during the day, you just had to find like a rock.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
You wipe with the rock? I brought toilet paper. Good for you. There's no way. But a lot of people really struggled with altitude. And so their stomachs were super messed up and they were just having to find rocks and stuff. And the higher you get, the less rocks.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
there are so less things to really hide behind and it was really more of just like a distance thing whenever you had to go i'm not doing this so that was interesting but the hike itself was great but the whole time i was really looking forward to the massage like at night when i was cold in my tent i was like this is gonna be worth it i'm gonna get this massage at the end yeah
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Or like when my shoulders or my feet were hurting, I was like massage at the end. So we finish and the next day I wake up and I was like, today is the day. They didn't have one big place for everyone to go. So they dropped us off around Tanzania to get these massages in pairs of two. And so I get dropped off in the strip mall with the girl that I shared a tent with.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
It looks spa-like on the inside. They did tell me not to expect a massage like I would get here, which I was like, that's fair. I am here for the experience. I do enjoy traveling. Whatever is going on there, I'm good for. So I get into the room. and I wait for the lady to leave, and she doesn't. And I was like, okay, cool. And she just starts undressing me.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Oh, wow. This is interesting, but again, going with it. And I turn around, and she's like, get on the table, face down, and it's just a table.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
I was wearing leggings, so I wasn't wearing anything under the leggings. I was expecting some coverage, so there was just nothing there. Just on a table. Oh. Also, yeah, not comfy. So cold. Oh, okay. Oh my God. I'm laying face down and I'm kind of taking in the room as she's getting things ready. And I'm looking at the walls because the lights didn't turn off either. It's like bright lights.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
There was no real relaxing, no like music playing. Surgery room. And I'm noticing oil all over the walls.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
As I'm thinking, this is so weird. I hear like splurt and then all over my back, there's oil.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
whatever you're thinking triple it and that's probably how much and so i'm lying on my stomach and she's massaging my back and i'm trying to like really enjoy it i'm kind of relaxing by the time we're done with being on my stomach and she's like flip over i flip over and i'm alarmed at how naked i am the lights are all on and we make eye contact and she looks at my boobs and she goes how old are you
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
I was like 22 and she was like, little girl, I don't have big boobs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Yeah, she grabbed them. She said very flat chested. Oh my. I'm trying to recover from that. And she's like massaging my shoulders. She finds her way back to my boobs and just continues there for like 10 or 15 minutes. She likes that part. Maybe she thinks she'll make them bigger.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
I was just kind of going with it. I was like, this is going to be funny when I meet up with my friend that I share this tent with. And I was like, we're going to laugh about this because I bet she's getting the same treatment. This is how it is here. And I was like, this is really uncomfortable for me. personally, but we're not going to say anything. I don't want to offend this nice lady.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
So, I mean, she's like playing with my nipples, the whole nine yards. She kept making eye contact with me every time I opened my eyes.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
It became a lot. And so she continues to move down my body. And I realize she's going down there. Finally said something. I was like, we're going to get her. And she was pretty good. I felt bad. She's like, well, where would you like to spend this extra time? I was like, I guess my feet really hurt. I was like, I'm going to get anything out of this.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
My feet were hurting that whole nine days on that mountain. So I'm going to need a little extra love there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
I think she was going for happy ending.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
At the time, that was where my mind was. I was just so confused. It went from, I'm just going to let this slide on my boobs. So like, this is a really weird situation. It went from this is cultural to now it's not. Yeah, this is an erotic massage. Fuck. So he finishes up on my feet. She did a great job down there.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
We're wrapping things up and she's like, would you like to go to the shower with me? And I was like, although my body is covered in all of this oil, I'm good. We're done. So I go to try to dress and she again wants to dress me. The leggings and the oil, it was the longest.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
No, but she didn't know about this place.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
I thought the boot part was normal. Honestly, I was just like, this is so weird. We're going to laugh about this. I was just really trying to make this a funny situation, I guess. I don't know. I didn't want to think about it too hard. She finally dresses me. I used to wear like all these friendship bracelets. She's trying to get those back on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
And I finally said, let me just put them in my pocket. So we get done and I'm in the lobby and I pay. I meet up with my friend and I was like, wow, that was like a really weird massage. And she's like, what are you talking about? I was like, did they touch you? And she was like, touch me? Yeah, it was a massage. I was like, did they play with your boobs? She was like, no. Oh, no.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Wait, she's like, I think that lady was trying to give you a happy ending massage. And I was like, oh, that was the first time that it clicked.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Wild Card VII
Especially because they gave me the warning. I was just like, oh, this is just what they do. Because everything else besides not having like a blanket or anything was a very regular massage. A lot of extra oil, but just a regular massage. Right.
Darknet Diaries
144: Rachel
Elizabeth, sorry, need my passport number because the Ukraine trip is on. Can you read that out to me?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Well, of course I will because I love these hot dogs. But I will make sure I go to the ATM first. I just was like, that is criminal to have a cash-only place these days.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Face painting. Yeah. It was ridiculous. It was stupid. That was completely born out of guilt for me. I was trying to appease my own guilt. I look back at that. It's like the wedding. That's the dumbest fucking thing. Strike that. It's one of the dumber things that I've done in my life. It's certainly not a top 20 or a top 100.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Well, hell no. He doesn't remember it. So I think that goes back to the party is not for the child. Right. Full stop. Right. Emily could give two shits. She doesn't remember. She was three. The party was for me to make me feel better because I felt guilty that I had a brand new baby so close to her birthday.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
There's no question. And I have to go back to, if that's where your time and energy is going, these people that browbeat us about all the shit, why aren't they browbeating them? Take all that free time on your hands. Oh, I'm sure they get it.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah, I think, I mean, first of all, I think Sage's presentation's an A plus. I mean, it's a perfect point. Like if you are rotating in a line and you keep seeing the same person, I think there should be a sign at the airport when you walk in that says, pretend you're invisible. Pretend everybody else around you is invisible.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
This is somebody that obviously, I'm just going to say the guy at the club too. I think probably socially awkward. I mean, I just think if you're doing that repeatedly, you probably are socially awkward as a person. Like you don't understand the social cues. So I just fucking love her.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
There's just no excuse for parents sending children their Christmas gifts, in my opinion. I mean, I just that just doesn't.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah, I've been known to do that before. And here's the deal. I do not want to give something away.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
somebody that they hate and feel like they have to say oh I love it I love it I love it because that's awkward when you get a gift I mean there's nothing more awkward to get a gift and you hate it but you have to act like you like it so I just think no gifting here's where my hypocrisy comes in okay recently I would say probably the last three years I have started to purchase things for Josh
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah, no, I think that's a great idea. I remember when my kids were little and you got professional pictures taken all the time. I would not give anybody like my parents or my grandmother the option of picking out the pictures they wanted. I picked out the pictures they were going to have. Because I knew at some point they would become mine. So my grandmother's pictures, I've repossessed those.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
My dad's pictures, I've repossessed those. And I have to pat myself on the back. It was a brilliant plan. So they never got to look at the proofs.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It's both. I just advertised it, printed it, postcarded it. Probably sent more Christmas cards that year than I'd ever sent before.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You know how that... Yeah, because the person was up top. That's why it was such a... They were up top on the back of the ship. So, I mean, it was just... It was focused on his gut, it felt like. Yeah.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah. I'm 100% with Elizabeth, though. If it doesn't have a heartbeat, you can't dress it up. It's dumb. It's stupid. Which reminds me, I saw a bumper sticker of a pair of thongs on somebody's car. I'm like, flip-flop thongs. She's like, that's the best you got? Anyway, that's not the point.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Okay, what I've had it with is places that only take cash. At the end of 2020-24, are you fucking kidding me? I never have cash. So I go in this restaurant downtown. I mean, it's a dump, okay? It's a dump truck. I fucking love it. It's heart attack on a plate food. Hadn't had it in years. And I thought, I'm just going to bounce in there and get me a hot dog.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I'll tell you what I know we have. And it goes without question. I see that shit. I'm like, your penis is an inch and a half. It has no girth. You've never given a woman an orgasm. You fucking suck in bed. So you're parading around with your stand up and your guns so that nobody thinks your dick is too little.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I 100% think smaller than the teeny little coney weenie that I couldn't purchase because I didn't have cash. Because you're just a lonely old podcaster. I think we're talking a nevin.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah. Yeah, and talk about antiquated. I remember people said that when I was, like, there are children starving in Africa that don't, you know, they don't have to worry about X, Y, Z, blah, blah, blah. Okay, that's true, but that's not what we're talking about right now.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Right. I knew that in 2024 at the Republican National Convention. That's when I knew it for the first time. Yep. But here's the deal. Anytime, and I might be a product of this, talking about never getting... or going on a date or getting married to a prison inmate. It's the same way with these politicians that stand up there, anti-gay, anti-gay, anti-gay. I mean, is it a hundred times out of 90?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
They're having all kinds of gay sexual encounters. So I just, I don't want to hear it.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I was just the minute you said, can I be a bridesmaid? I thought, well, obviously, Ollie would give me away. And that's Oliver Glizzard, your dog that you named after a hot dog. Yes. He's immediately giving me away. You can be the maid of honor.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Just small. I've done the big and it was a disaster. I'm going to go small this time, marry a prison inmate. So many things could go right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Right. No, I mean, seriously. I mean, that is the kind of relationship that I could probably fucking shine in. I don't have to share my stuff. You would crush it. I would crush that shit. Maybe I should get back on those websites.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I'm into it. And I just want it for the record. It's not jail. It's prison. Just want to make that distinction.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
No, I didn't even think about jail because the people I'm referring to, it's all prison. It's not jail. Okay, but for the permanent record. I'm going to go ahead and lump it in.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Well, if I'm in the middle institution, I can't rule that out. And there's just, you never know when you're going to get a call about a middle institution. So I don't want to rule that one out entirely.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It's the perfect match for me. It is the absolute best case scenario and a partner for me.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
A prisoner. Never getting out. That's key. Clutch. All right. Thank you guys. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I think that's a great point. People, I mean, for me, a lot of it goes back to, like, if you have enough time to correct us on this, why aren't you doing something better than listening to us? Like, why aren't you solving world hunger?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Right. It kind of goes back to when we first started the podcast when people would say, well, don't talk about politics or don't talk about this or don't talk about that. Here's the deal. Our names are on it. It's our podcast. We can talk about whatever the fuck we want. Brenda, if you don't like it, start your own podcast. Those are your options.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
We don't take direction from Brenda in Ohio, but thank you for playing.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
up yeah i don't like email you know rachel maddow and say rachel i need you to talk about this more you know why i don't stop advertising rachel so you don't need commercials quit getting a paycheck rachel right it's just the whole thing it's just like shut up yeah shut up agree welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie she's the siberian husky of podcasting katarina what's going on in the
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
So I go in, I am like so fired up about it. You going to get a hot dog? Going to get a hot dog. It's this little tiny wiener. I mean, it's boiling in water. They pull it out. I'm super excited about it. I get up there and she's like, I mean, I think it was like $3. I didn't have $3. I have no cash. I didn't get my hot dog. So I'm like, everybody needs to be completely 100%.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
No, now that they're fixed, there has been no communication. I thought I would start on Christmas Eve texting him about how I needed the lights off at 6 p.m. on Christmas Day. I think you got to go December 26th.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I fucking hate her. Nobody that isn't an avid runner wants to do that. Why would you do that? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, a surprise 7K. That's a long time. Well, that's like a...
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
How often have we talked about brides being narcissistic? I mean, the more I read about what's going on with brides, the more I think marriage should be outlawed just on the basis of these people cannot handle anything happening to them. That's good. It's, I just, this is so gross.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Everything about a bride that makes everything about her, like here's, if I've said it once, I've said it 50 million times. Nobody gives a shit that you're a bride. They're coming because they like your parents. They're your friends. They do not give a fuck. They don't think you're special. They don't think you're the prettiest girl in the world. They don't think you're a princess.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
They don't look up every minute after their eyes open on the day of your wedding and say, Oh, my gosh. It's only six hours and 42 minutes till I get to go sit in the world's most boring wedding with the world's dumbest music. And then I go to a dinner that's cold, obnoxious, and I have to talk to people I don't like. Nobody's dying for that. Nobody.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You take both or you take card for sure. It just feels like antiquated. And this place, to be fair, is antiquated. No teeny weeny for pumps. I did not get the only teeny weeny that I enjoy. I had to leave. She was like, well, there's an ATM around the corner. And by then I'm just fucking furious. I'm just like, this is a prick tease. I'm mad. I'm not coming back. Will you ever go back?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Let me just tell you, the reason I'm so passionate about hating brides is because I myself was the worst offender. Never once thought about the marriage. The guests. Never even dawned on me what the guests felt like. I never even took into account their feelings. I paraded just an enormous, ridiculous everything. Everything that I hate is because I've done it and it's so stupid.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I look back and just the visceral reaction to how stupid I am probably takes into account this problem. I mean, parading. Yeah. Nine bridesmaids, 500 people walking down the aisle knowing it wasn't going to work. I mean, what a disaster. Everything about that is, I mean, you know how they used to like in those shows be like, shame, shame, shame.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
That's what all the guests should have been doing. Shame, shame, shame.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Or, you know, we could also do a poster. We like, you know, like an auctioneer poster, just stand at the back or sit at the back and just like, hold it up till somebody noticed, be on the video. Yeah, there's a lot of
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And it's just going to be really hard for me to even like, Act like I think it's a good idea to have a big wedding. I'm like, go to the courthouse, get married, call it a day.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I think then I was told by somebody else that that's kind of the new trend is like 2018, something like that, bridesmaids. And I'm just saying as a public service announcement, in my experience- If you have that much emphasis on the bridesmaids, the flowers, all that shit, you're probably not thinking about the marriage. And that is a deep, dark hole of despair that I fell down.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
I want to talk about the lyrics, though, because there's this one line where they say, we can try to understand the New York Times effect on man.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Well, I mean, 16-year-old you might not have, you know, heard of the New York Times, but I mean, now you work here and you've created a really iconic part of it. You are the founder of Modern Love. 18 years ago, you started the column. And I want to thank you, Dan, and I also want to thank you, Mia, for trusting me with a little part of it.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Welcome, welcome. Thanks so much. When we come back I share the song that taught me about love when I was 16. Stay with us. When we first aired this episode, I didn't talk about my own song, so I'm going to do that right now. When I think about the song that changed me as a 16-year-old, I'm thinking about Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
My dad would always play a Billy Joel greatest hit CD in the car. I started off barely tolerating it, asking him to turn it off, to change it to like the pop radio station or whatever. But after many listens, I got hooked. I became a Billy convert.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
And this particular song, Just the Way You Are, Billy sings that his lover doesn't need to change her hair or her clothes or impress him with clever conversation. And the thing that drew me to the song is like, I tried all of those things at age 16. I'd straightened the hell out of my hair. I'd gotten bangs. I tested out all these different looks to try to appeal to different guys.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
I was constantly shapeshifting, attempting to impress. And in this song, I felt like Billie was saying to me, you do not need to do all that.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
I couldn't love you any better. I love you just the way you are. I still need to be reminded of that sometimes, even today. So thank you, Billie. Okay, as I said at the top, this episode is a two-parter. Next week, we'll hear your stories, stories from listeners on the songs that taught them about love. It's a playlist with some real heartfelt bangers. You will not want to miss it.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
This episode of Modern Love was produced in 2022 by Julia Botero and Hans Butow and edited by Sarah Saracen. Additional production and editing by Sarah Curtis and Lynn Levy. Production management by Christina Josa. This episode was mixed by Sonia Herrero, with studio support from Maddy Macielo. The Modern Love theme music is by Dan Powell.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Additional music in this episode by Dan Powell and Aman Sahota. Digital production by Mahima Chablani and Desi Bakwa. And special thanks to Ryan Wegner at Autumn. The Modern Love column is edited by Daniel Jones. Mia Lee is the editor of Modern Love Projects. If you'd like to submit an essay or a tiny love story to The New York Times, we have the instructions in our show notes. I'm Anna Martin.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
So summer is coming soon. It's getting warmer. I'm spending more time outside. And just like every year when the weather gets like this, I find myself feeling nostalgic. For summer flings, for vacation romances, for first loves. It all makes me think about the modern love essay, What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love, by the writer Lisa Selin Davis. Thank you so much for having me.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
It's a beautiful, sunshiny story, so this week we're bringing you that essay again. Plus, I talk with a few of my colleagues about the songs that taught them about love. This episode is a two-parter, so you'll want to look out for the second part next week. But I'll tell you about all that later. For now, here's What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love by Lisa Sellin Davis, read by Kristen Potter.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
When we come back, the songs that taught the Modern Love team a thing or two about love.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Okay, Mia Lee, you're the editor of Modern Love Projects. When you were around 16, what was the song that taught you about love? Oof.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can't jump past that. You recorded yourself.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
Yeah. It's hard to top that, but Dan Jones, hi to you as well.
Modern Love
First Love Mixtape: Side A (Encore)
What about you? What's the song that taught teenage you about love?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
After the break, Jeff gets sick, and their parallel lines diverge again before coming back together in an unforgettable way. Stay with us. The End Okay, so years pass. You and Jeff still have this very close friendship. But even though there are these moments of flirtation, nothing ever happens. And then at some point, Jeff finds out that he's sick. Can you tell me how you got that news? Mm-hmm.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Underneath all that teasing and joking, Elizabeth told me there was a pole, an attraction between the two of them, but they were never quite ready to explore it. They waited and waited and waited.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
When he told you about these things he was doing, when you saw the things he was doing, the no bananas, the cannabis oil, and not following, it sounds like, the doctor's orders, which was to get surgery as soon as possible, it sounds like. How did you react as someone who, this is your best friend. How did you react? I was so angry.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
When you weren't talking to him, were you thinking about him? Mm-hmm.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I handled it. Yep. I mean, when you would go through these periods of not talking, sometimes really extended periods of not talking, did you worry about your friendship ending? Like, did it ever feel that way?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
They waited until it was almost too late. From The New York Times, I'm Anna Martin. This is Modern Love. Stay with us. Elizabeth Laura Nelson, welcome to Modern Love. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. It's really great to have you in the studio. Put a face to your essay. We're here to talk about you and your friend, Jeff. How did you and Jeff meet?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
During a time when you and Jeff were not talking... He took a turn for the worse. Can you walk me through what happened?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
You're texting him. He's in the ER. What was going through your mind? You're texting him during this. Like, what are you guys, what are you telling him? And what are you thinking?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
So you're sending these back and forth. You've clearly broached this topic in a funny, but you really mean it. You're really like, let's have sex. So when you get to L.A. and you see Jeff for the first time in nearly a year, what's that like? How did he look? He looked really good.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Did you feel like you learned anything new about him by being intimate with him in this way? Mm-hmm.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
What was it like being intimate with someone? I mean, he was so sick. Did it feel more fragile in some ways or? A little.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I was going to say, when you got back to New York, were you a couple?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Can I ask, like, Why do you think it took you and Jeff so long to come together in this intimate way that you did at the end of his life? Like, why do you think it took so long?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
You make me cry, cry, cry, my friend. It is beautiful. Elizabeth Laura Nelson, thank you so much for talking to me and for sharing your story about Jeff.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
This episode of Modern Love was produced by Amy Pearl, with help from Davis Land. It was edited by Lynn Levy and our executive producer, Jen Poyant. Production management by Christina Josa. The Modern Love theme music is by Dan Powell. Original music in this episode by Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Sophia Landman, and Rowan Nemisto.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
This episode was mixed by Sonia Herrero, with studio support from Matty Macielo and Nick Pittman. Special thanks to Mahima Chablani, Jeffrey Miranda, and Paula Schumann. The Modern Love column is edited by Daniel Jones. Mia Lee is the editor of Modern Love Projects. If you'd like to submit an essay or a tiny love story to the New York Times, we'll have the instructions in our show notes.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I love that visual of him on the corner, you running to him, you heading off for the park. Were either of you runners before?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Elizabeth and Jeff were best friends, even though a lot of the time they annoyed the crap out of each other.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
He loved nothing more. Elizabeth would pick on Jeff for his weird haircut, his acid wash jeans. Jeff would pick on Elizabeth for believing in astrology, which he thought was nonsense.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I love that. You were each other's drill sergeant, it sounds like. Drill sergeant, park, play buddy. Tell me about some of those runs. What territory did you cover? What did you talk about?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I mean, it seems like you and Jeff felt comfortable talking about everything, anything. Why? Nothing offended him.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Yeah. Bring me inside that world. What's something that was just for you and Jeff? Hmm.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Did you call each other, like, Red Sparrow, Blue Falcon, out in the world, or was this just a text thing?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
When you got divorced... Did that change? How did that change your friendship with Jeff? Did it change your friendship with Jeff?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Okay. So you did not kiss. I know exactly what you mean by the air in the room changes. It becomes... or I don't know what the right word is. It's like sharper. There's a shift. What about that shift was so... Had you never thought about it before?
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
Then we'd both be mad. But no matter how much he might annoy her, no matter how much they might annoy each other, Elizabeth always forgave Jeff.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
I mean, it's so, but it's, what a dick. deeply and playfully intimate thing to do. And I don't actually mean like the sex act of it all. I mean the like, you felt insecure about your body and you were voicing that to him in a pretty vulnerable and open way. Like, do you see this? How do I look? And you trusted him to be able to hold that.
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
But then also like, the fact remains that Jeff is an opinionated, he's an actually guy, right? And you were,
Modern Love
Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night.
No. I could have guessed that. Even though he was saying this kind of like ostensibly dumb and hurtful thing, were you able to be like, this person still... Knows me and sees me and this doesn't matter as much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
You're making crepes, but the vibes are off today.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
So maybe we'll bring that energy to the rest of the house.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Oh, I didn't even think about the envelope. That's a great little detail.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Which is great. I'm so excited. To us. You can't be, like, super crazy about it to, like, other people and whatnot. You know what I mean? No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I guess a little bit. You just don't want to repeat yourself to the same people over and over.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I want to be honest. I think we should give some other clarity to this because this is a bigger thing happening to us, right? Sure. A little bit. This trip, the reason we sort of really decided to do this is in many ways we are in a big crossroads in our life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
You have talked for the last few months, maybe more than a few months, about changes in your industry.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I don't know. They're like seared into my brain, like a million of them. I don't think of me as... Is it interesting?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I have definitely been getting pulled away from my career in music and much more pulled into this area of podcasting and finding it just infinitely more rewarding than music, which I think a lot has to just do with my age. There's a bunch of different factors.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
That is our promise. Rachel, do you hear us? We will do this forever. All that being said, changes going on inside our lives. There is a bigger looming thing of like, do we want a big, bigger adventure? A chapter where we maybe move abroad for a longer period of time than a month or so.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
So this is a trip for us to really maybe go kind of check that out and see, is that a dream that we might want to engage in?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And so even though in some ways we're in the opposite perfect spot of being able to be like, let's go to France. Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
We're willing to take that risk because.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
We want to know if this is something. That we might want to pivot into? Is that the right word?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Now, I wonder if knowing our personalities. I do think we need to try to really be present on that vacation while we're over there and try to experience some of it really as a vacation and not all of it as, ooh, could we see ourselves here and locking into that future dream.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
No, we're sort of saying the same thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Since there is this like, ooh, would we ever want to live here for a year or two aspect to this trip, we do need to just like chill, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But that chilling... can't be consumed with the dream of the future.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Otherwise, we're not really experiencing the chilling to know. Sure. It's like this, like, push and pull.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Some might call that dream a nightmare. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Speaking of which, this morning we went to get our like global, what's it called? Global entry.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I had a really cool moment because we had to split up. We each had to split up with a kid. And the guy's pulling up mine. He's like music producer. I was like, yeah. And he's like, anything I've heard of. And I was like, oh, more like alternative stuff. And I rattled off like three different things. And he goes, whoa, that's some pretty big stuff. And you could see Teddy be like, huh?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And then he made a comment. This guy could have just been saying, pretending he knows, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah, the vibes are off. Astrologically.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But he said a comment where I was like, oh, you really do know, which was kind of cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
You could see Teddy be like, oh, dad's cool. Yeah. That is so awesome. He was a cool global entry guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
What a, what a, um, it's definitely the place our friends had gone because they warned me, make sure there's not people standing behind you when they take the picture, because it's like, we could see people on ours. It was like a little low. I don't know. Anyways, but yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Speaking of workplaces, I got eyes on the Costco break room in Bakersfield.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I was going to the bathroom and you could eyeball in on this one angle. But holy shit, like one of the entire walls was literally filled with like, it looked like a 7-Eleven. Like snacks of like crazy. And I don't know if you, it was so crazy that I wonder if you have to like buy them, but they're just in there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I hope you're right about that. I don't think it's Bob.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
It's not. You're looking for Jim, who I don't think is the CEO anymore.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
When did I just snap at you again?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Anyway, so we're going on a trip. We're so excited. You're not going to shut the fuck up about it for a while, which is great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I have a very push and pull relationship with Huntington Gardens.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Descanso's pubis is a little more unkempt and a little wild, but it's titillating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Well, I would say the vibes are off... Between you and I, for sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
No, but that's maintaining the soul and the rest of the body.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But there's things to find and explore.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Now, where the Huntington pubis is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Sometimes it veers into like Brazilian areas. Do you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Which is fine if that's what you do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But you just know that's happening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And then also it seems like the vibes are a little off in the fam.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
It's incredible. Gorgeous. Japanese garden is amazing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Maybe a little bit more so with you and the fam than me. Or no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And Lucy was the accountant or the nurse?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I don't know. If I know anything about how your grandma rolled, I don't know if that happened.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I actually think what I'm pointing out, I think there's two of us in the fam that are like, we're cool chilling. We're a little oblivious of a little bit of everything else, sort of.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
It's magical. It is magical. Is it an existential feeling? Like you're like, whoa, my mom was actually here at one point in time on this fucking big spinning rock we're on. And now my kids are here. Like it's great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah. Yeah. I think they dug it. And then you got the worst hot flash you've ever had.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Do you want to take me through that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah, yeah. But that's not necessarily... A hot flash.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Oh, I think I'm pretty chill. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Is that all part of it or could you – I've had like a little bug that day, too, maybe.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But anyways, I think we can fix the bad vibes. It's no big deal.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah. So in my mind, it didn't last five minutes. Like, I guess you're saying that. The big part of it did. But then you were like, we got to go home, sort of.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Well, you're also, though, you also got off birth control, which is another factor in this whole thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yours are horrendous right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah, but you want to find a new French beau.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
It's the only way I know how to heal is to bully.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah. Horrible. Yeah. Scary. Rollercoaster.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I'm not sure. There was a week. Was it about a week ago where I checked in with you like multiple times?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And so that is interesting because I was a little worried about you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
That being said, I think after we talked. I kind of was like, oh, I'm not going to worry about it unless there's like I'm really sensing a big thing. I'm just like, I'm just going to let you give you some space to be you. And I don't need to read into any of your fluctuations right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But in these cases, it wasn't even that. I was just I was more worried about you. Kind of like, are you OK?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
You just didn't seem like yourself to me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah. But I'm. Yeah. I'll keep an eye, but more of a eye from a distance.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I'm trying to make you laugh and it's working.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Everything's been great except this morning vibes were off. But yeah. Great. Yeah, for sure. Speaking of like great vibes. Yes. Holy shit. I was coming back from Target yesterday or two days ago and I'm in my car and a woman, she's probably... Between 30 and 40. Okay. Nice looking lady. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
She rolls up right next to me. And I mean, like, we are completely parallel at the stop sign.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And she's in a late 80s Mustang convertible. But the convertible's not dropped. It's up. All right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And she has, like, a baseball hat on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
No, because the way the cars were, and I was a little higher than her, too.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
She wouldn't have been able to see up there. And she, I look over at her and she kind of just as she's pulling up looks to see who's next to her as well. Right. But she's singing at the top of her lungs.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Like bounce in her head. And she's singing that TI song. You can have whatever you like or something like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Now, we are in a long stoplight.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I didn't put my window down. I looked once and like, oh, whoa, this lady is really fucking going for it. Yeah. Right? And she just kept on going for it. And I thought, I don't have the balls to do that. ever, you know, to be at a stoplight for a minute with someone right next to you. And she didn't give a fuck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And I was saying how much I don't give a fuck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
So could you see yourself doing that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
This comes up sometimes. And tell me if this is messed up on my part.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
She's giving out pup cups left and right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Oh, hell yeah. Mansion, asshole.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
I think your name could have definitely been on my mash card, too.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Wow. I wonder who they are putting on their mash cards.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Interesting. Yeah, I guess that's the age, isn't it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But I'm wondering if you're more worried of how I'm perceived because you don't want you to be perceived as someone that would be with someone like me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
We should definitely do it again.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
We could even, yeah, let's keep it to date night or morning. I was going to say we could even do that every once in a while with the kids on a weekend morning to like set the vibe of the day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Let it be our thing. Do you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And it's nice to have like a little fun time like that in LA. We have been feeling, let's talk about the crime for a second. Because we are in a wave of crime in our neighborhood that just seems absurd lately. And I want to point something out to you. We had an incident that happened next door to us recently.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
So that's what's really going on. And I can respect that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Someone trying to break in. And it was very scary, especially for one of our kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
And I really, you weren't around. And I really did my best to minimize the kind of.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
Yeah, of it. But then it dawned on me the other day, we have another next door neighbor that someone tried to break in their house with a ladder not that long ago. Remember? We're literally in between houses. And then on top of that. It seems like every night we've had police cars flying by our house. And we're not on a street that police cars should be flying down.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
That one was like someone had assaulted an officer. That's why we heard so much action that quick, I think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
166 - We Can Get Through These Bad Vibes!
But we're also – I think me a lot more so than you – I'm so numb to it. Like, it doesn't phase me enough.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Right? And so yesterday with our son, we walked to the grocery store. And on the way there, we saw a squirrel. dead like on its back laying up which seemed odd but my son goes our son goes oh that's not a good sign and i was like oh fuck and then then then the vibes like going to the grocery store it was weird vibes and then so i really started getting in my head and
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And there was like, you know, just some, let's call them seemingly a little scary people, you know, on the way to the grocery store and in the grocery store. And it just, everything was getting that dark, like, I better get out of here. Like it's kind of something bad's going to happen.
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Only in certain things, though.
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But yeah, it just feels dark lately.
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A lot of crime. Why is there so much crime?
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It is menacing, though, because you do see how a city could really slip away, sort of, in some regards. And I know that crime waves go up and down. It just feels menacing lately.
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It's really interesting how it all unfolds. I just wish it was a little less menacing constantly. Every day there's something. There's gunshots every day within a couple miles of our house.
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Well... We'll see how we like other ways of life.
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Well, I would be like, well, this is where it gets interesting. Because in my mind, I would be like, well, you don't know what you're fucking talking about. But then what if it turned out I really was being abusive?
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See, if I ever have a thought like that, and occasionally I will have like weird, I shouldn't even call them weird, but have, you know, those feelings.
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Yeah, rush in where you have thoughts like that. But more common if I have a thought like that, it's more of an OCD thing often. Of, like, I better give them a kiss because if I don't, something bad could happen.
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It's more, like, tied to something. Mm-hmm. Where what you're talking about is, like, you're just really living in that... Constant. ...moment and you have no control over it at all and it's just like, fuck.
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And that was part of it that I didn't even realize.
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But. But to be honest, I just don't think that's what's going on. Do you know what I mean?
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Now, this might not be the cherry on top that you want.
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But I have had a question that has been stumping me.
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And you bought new plastic bins.
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In those situations, I'm just like, oh, you just don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
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In one of the kids' closets. Correct. Why on earth did you buy those? I know you thought it was going to fix something.
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How? Because you bought the exact same thing.
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What in your mind made you think, what was the problem? Explain the problem that you set out to fix.
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But like pretend you know what it is.
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So I don't give a fuck. Okay, let's get out of here. No, I think it's an interesting thing, though, to think about.
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You're doing great explaining this.
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Yes. This is from Rachel over on Apple Podcasts. Thank you. Hearing your conversations about anything and everything is healing. Oh. Seeing meaningful and difficult conversations play out without rushing or feeling the need to make everything into a soundbite is soothing. Oh. Seems like a nice way of saying we're boring, but I appreciate it.
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So you're saying the plastic, okay, this makes sense. The weight was pulling the plastic in so then it would fall off the rails.
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But what made you think this was how I experienced it is you come home with these bins. And I didn't even say anything because it was so ridiculous to me. They're like three bucks each. But that doesn't matter.
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But in my mind, I was thinking, how does she think this is going to solve the problem? Were you in the store, though, now that I know a little more and I have a little more info, were you looking at the bins and were you thinking like, oh, these seem sturdier than before? Or did you just think a newer bin hasn't been compromised? Yes. Both. But it's plastic and it's like.
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Because... Maybe I've already said too much.
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So they're actually working now. They work. You solved the problem.
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See, I would have thought the problem was more the wood being pushed outwards.
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I can't believe this worked out for you.
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And guess what? You don't need to know everything.
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But think about it this way. Just kidding. We put clips up on YouTube. We put clips up on TikTok, right? There are definitely times.
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Where they could be definitely taken out of context.
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Okay. Well, that's interesting. But let's give an example with me. Say we put up a clip where I'm being kind of a dick to you. And we've had those clips, too. Okay? Yeah. But let's say strangers see them and they're like, what an asshole. Right.
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But let's say you've listened to a few of these episodes. You'd be like, oh, no. Like, no, he's not an asshole. You know. But does it matter that maybe there's a million people that think I'm an asshole when I'm actually not an asshole?
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What if in this episode right now you had a coffee, like a Starbucks cup, and you like slowly started lifting it up and it said like help on it or something?
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Can you qualify doing it right now?
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But are you opening and closing or is it just that?
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Well, I don't know if you're making that face too. Are you like, ooh, uh-oh. You got to be more discreet than that, right?
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I like the Starbucks thing. I love a good... I got to say, I love a good Starbucks story where you hear the Starbucks person really helped save somebody.
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Yes, that's what I'm saying. I love those.
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Is it like, what's your name? And it's like... I need help. It's not that. It's the person giving the cup to the customer writes on it.
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Ask for a straw or something like that.
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I love it. It's hard to put into words how special it is to be following your podcast journeys. Started listening to you when I was lost in a very depressed 19-year-old and just recently started to catch up on NLR. As a thriving and happily 31-year-old, it's special to meet you guys where you are now. We'll listen forever.
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Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm feeling weird that of like making like loving these different scenarios. I was like, oh, what if in a movie it was like this? But what we're saying is like, this is a real sad thing that happens to people. Of course. Yeah. I'm an ally. See, now I am feeling defensive, but only because of you. I don't give a fuck what other people think.
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That's great. Maybe you're more don't gives a fucks than you even realize.
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Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. But yeah, I want to talk about big news.
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I was gone most of the day. You know what? In a weird way, my morning. Let me start with my morning because it's so mundane. And then we'll get to the main event.
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There was this camera that I wanted to get that I saw at Costco. Then I went back to Costco. It's gone. And then I was on a hunt for this hard to find camera. And they have it in Bakersfield.
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The drive to Bakersfield is beautiful. I don't think there's many people saying Bakersfield itself is beautiful. Maybe they are. I think it gets a pretty bad rap. Well, it's like... A pretty bad rap.
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And I think both of those statistics are probably right.
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Anywho... I got up in the morning. I told you I'm going to leave at like 730 so I can get to Costco right when it opens so I can snag this camera.
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She said, I'm not going to lie.
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It's a hot ticket item. And it was either go to Bakersfield or fly to Hawaii. That was the situation I was in.
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So I get up in the morning. I pop the address into my GPS. I get on the road and the first move it says when I get to the freeway, it takes me on a way that I did not expect to get on the freeway. And I thought, huh, that's weird. And then I'm a few minutes in the drive and then it dawns on me. I have no idea where the fuck Bakersfield is. I don't know where I'm going.
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It's not where I thought I was going.
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I think I thought I was going to like Barstow on the way to Vegas or something.
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I don't know where I thought, but I thought I was going about an hour away, which Barstow might be further than that. Regardless.
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I'm on a bigger adventure than I thought I was going to be. Right. But I throw on some podcasts. It's raining lightly here and there. I'm driving by lakes. It's gorgeous.
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I'm by myself. I stopped and got a McGriddle at McDonald's.
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Of course I did. I get to Costco. It's the most beautiful Costco experience I've ever had. And then I drove back. But it was a wonderful day. But it took more time. But it was just some solo me time. So that was the morning.
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They opened the doors at like 918 and said, come on in, guys.
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Yeah, that is interesting. It seems odd that they would do that. A big organization, you have to have rules. Rules are important.
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Because everything falls apart if you don't have rules.
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Anyhow, so it was a nice day. But meanwhile, you're at home working on a big project yourself. Very big.
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That's what we're talking about, right?
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I can tell you how long. At least 700 days because that's my Duolingo streak.
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We're in the exact opposite of that position. Whatever that position is called is the position we're in.
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You know what I want to say to you right now? Because you always do this to me. Do you find it so interesting? Do I say that? Yeah, you often call me when I say interesting. You go, oh, you find it interesting? Do I? Yeah, yeah. You mock my interesting sometimes.
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He might have. He might have syphilis.
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His name's Jake Barber, just if we want to officially say he might have syphilis.
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We don't even, I don't, I wasn't bringing this up to like, see, now we're just, we're going to perpetuate the bullshit that you think is bullshit.
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Why are we different?
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Okay, this is the last... Well, I know. You feel embarrassed for me. You're embarrassed for you that you married someone that you'd worry they'd think about me in this light.
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This is the last thing I'll say. The thing was flimsy.
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Oh, now we're talking about how people look?
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I did not know you were a full circle bigot. That's interesting. Didn't know we were doing that on this show. Didn't think that was okay in 2025.
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Okay. Okay. But anyways.
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He's. fucking had a crazy alien experience is what happened that's fair this is the last thing i listen the last thing i will say about aliens and i didn't even want to get into it it has rocked the community i'm not in the community i look at this reddit for the last two weeks is all that's this is all i know is two weeks of reddit
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The one thing I do keep seeing that some of these people keep saying is the event that we're going to be told soon. I just want to, I just want to market on this podcast in case it does happen. I don't necessarily believe this, but that the government or something, the most public thing will happen is that they're going to say that there is a craft coming to earth for 2027.
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And I thought that was interesting. I just want to record it here in 2025, because if that happens, that's wild.
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OK, you'd be you can be humiliated.
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From examples that you have to even much more trivial examples. And we're also going to be enlisting you, the listener, down the road to share your news stories. Maybe of something that happened in your house.
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What do you want to talk about?
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Yeah, I think the origins, if I'm right, maybe it is fun to document this, is I did go to visit my sweet folks. And while I was there, they were watching some morning news show or something. And I don't know why, it just kind of popped in my head. And it wasn't, they weren't reporting the news at that point. It was like a, what do you call those pieces that are like, they're talking.
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Yeah, it was a very fluffy piece. But it was like one of the morning shows. I don't know. What are those shows? Who are those hosts on those shows?
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Who are those people?
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No, I'm looking for a name. Give me one name of an example.
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Oh, my God. Elizabeth. The actual name of someone.
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Yeah. How to call it? Anyways, it was something like that. And I was like, oh, that would be, I don't know. I just had this feeling like that would be fun or something like that. And then I came back a few days past and I kind of mentioned it to you and you were like, your eyes kind of perked up. And then we were like, would it be crazy if we tried to do a daily show every day?
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Yeah. Just anything that nobody's talking about. That's what we want to talk about.
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Very crazy. Yeah.
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Yeah. And do you want to explain that? Because I already want me to explain that because I my both of ours are very similar.
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I'm going to start this explanation by saying how rewarding podcasting has been for both of us because it is something that we get to one do together, but it is one something that we get to do on our own terms and then put out into the world and we're in complete control of it.
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As opposed to both of our industries. I'll use my industry as an example. Let's say I'm working on music for an artist. There are so many things that have to happen just for that song to come out into the world. One, we have to make a cool song. But let's assume the song's cool. Then after that, someone needs to decide, should we release the song? That might be a manager.
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The soft hitting stories. You might we might need to use that.
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Then it also might be a record label.
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Then it's like, well, is that song going to be a single that's going to get released to promote the album? Or is it just going to be a song that's on the album? That makes a difference. And all along these ways, there's all these different people that are gatekeeping sort of the thing from coming out to the world.
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And I have just always felt, since I've never been an artist in music, so far behind these gatekeepers. So I just have no control on what comes out into the world. And that can sometimes be frustrating.
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Well, can I say one more thing in regards to that? Do not worry about this show. Nobody's listening. Right. Going anywhere. As we've said over and over, we're going to do this forever.
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incredible art that is so sweet i will point out also though like i am not alone every producer out there that does what i do has a hard drive or hard drives full and full of stuff that they wish had been put out to the world that could have been that is up to snuff to be released to the world if you will at the very least but it's just it's just a hard fact of our
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And yours is very similar if you want to.
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Yeah, I'm super excited.
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So I don't want anyone getting. Yeah. Yeah. But you do need to go subscribe to the other podcast.
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One of which we did reveal on the Patreon Holiday Happy Hour.
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Which is a big piece of news, a project that we're working on. It's another big... Yeah.
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Whoa. February 4th was the day.
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Well, yeah. And you know what? If I'm going to be super honest, I did not pick a particular comment because we were inundated with them, whether it was on Spotify or Instagram or TikTok. This might be one of the biggest mea culpa's I've ever done on the show before. Oh, I'm so sorry. This is a big correction. Yeah. And I heard all of you listening. And you know what?
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Obviously, I hope we have a skill set for doing this stuff, right? That being said, though... With this new show, day one of the new show is not going to be the same as day 100 of the show. Just like the first season of a TV show. We're going to find our footing. It's going to morph. We're going to add new things. It will evolve.
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That's the scary part, but that's also really the exciting part for me. And also as a fan of stuff too, I love seeing... like shows that I like kind of morph and like over time. So I don't know. So I'm, I'm less scared these days about that aspect of it. Although I'm trying to be more excited about that part, but so like, yeah, we're just like, let's just jump in and see where it goes.
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Very, it's a world record in our house.
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Well, I told you the other day when we were talking about goals that like that would be a tangible goal for you if you were wanted to be a competitor. You have two things going against you. I'm going to just be real right now.
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No, I think your age is a bonus.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I feel like there's two ways to monetize this if we want to talk about... Because if you're really leaning into Tetris... You're going straight to monetizing.
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I like that. For me, for you to put the dedication into this, there has to be some money involved, but maybe it's more beautiful. But let me just finish my thought. One is there are Tetris streamers out there. Now, here's the problem. You can't talk once it starts getting to a certain speed. So I think it would be hard for you to be chatty and playing.
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So that would be a skill you would need to work on.
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Because the biggest streamers, they're so entertaining. And you almost have the goods. Your whole life, actually, podcasting and Tetris could come together in a way that makes it all make sense, honestly. But you need to start working on that muscle. Because as it is now, when it starts getting crazy, if I talk or the kids talk, you're yelling and scolding at them and telling everyone to be quiet.
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No movement, no sounds, no nothing, right? Yeah. So that as far as like you being a live streamer, Tetris, the other thing is I think you're really niched down in the specific game of Tetris you're playing. You know, you're playing Tetris Connect, which is a new version of the game. But within that game, there's a lot of different versions of the game.
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And you've gotten really good at this one segment, which I think is a very small, small niche. Yeah. For you to really make a mark, we would need to get like an old Nintendo Entertainment System, an NES with the old controllers. There's a community of people that play like the old school Tetris on that. And if you started really making mark scores in that community, it would be of note.
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Those are my thoughts. If you're a Tetris guru out there, let us know.
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But I mean, you are really good.
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You do on YouTube or Twitch or anything. Yeah.
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I don't know. We'd have to look into that. I know Twitch was a big thing, but I don't know if it's as big of a thing anymore. There's this skateboarder I love named Jaws. He's known for like jumping off huge stuff. And when I say huge stuff, I mean buildings. And like he has the world record for stairs. He did, I think, in France, like I think it's like 25 stairs or so.
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Good for all of you to reach out and correct my mistake because this is something I feel terrible about.
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Yeah, it's crazy. He's like this skinny guy. It's crazy.
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Anyways, Jaws is a really good old school Tetris live streamer. So maybe we start there because I know he's really entertaining. That would be a good jump off.
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No, I think, no, that's what I'm saying is you have the potential to be crazy entertaining and then it's just marketing, you know?
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How many hours are you playing?
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Oh, fuck, yeah. You spend an hour a day? Sure.
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No, but I think worth it for an hour for sure. Sure, sure.
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You're this cute mom.
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Hot mom, you know? Playing Tetris?
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But you, well, you have a, they're, you're hot adjacent. I know what you're saying. Oh my gosh, thank you. I think you're hot, obviously, but I know what you're saying.
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What I'm saying is that isn't the branding we put on you there.
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My sex appeal is- You are oozing sex appeal. We would just frame it a different thing.
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That's, I mean, really the biggest, you got to really think on that, you know, because that is a moment. That is a real moment. And if you time it right.
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Here's the interesting thing, though. Like, if you had nipple rings, that would be awesome. Do you know what I mean?
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I think it'd look fine.
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Well, be careful. What I said on last week's show with an abundance of confidence.
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What do they do?
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You think there's any women like you. Okay. Similar demo, similar age that got the like barbell tongue piercing in high school that kept it, but are like you right now, but are just like, I fucking love this thing.
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So to those women that were like you in 97, okay, but that still have that, what are they doing now? And why do you judge them so harshly?
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No, but they were you.
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You could have had that in 97.
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Yep. I don't know why that matters.
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Just to kind of mirror back what you're saying.
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I'm not sure. Definitely had some nipple rings. No, she didn't. So you're saying, though, if you're hiring, you're in a position to hire people, if they have a tongue piercing or full circles, they're not getting the job.
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It appears that I started a rumor, potentially. I said that Captain Kangaroo lost his goddamn mind from syphilis and then subsequently died. What? And a lot of listeners heard that. And of all things to ever be fact checked on, we don't get that many fact checks here on the show. And we talk a lot of stuff.
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Well, let's do it more in the corporate setting that you were talking about that you were painting a few seconds ago.
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Okay, just because of the piercing.
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It's interesting you use the word soldier.
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Okay. Oh, great. I love this. I love this. Oh, yes. We walk in.
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no tongue piercing so nice to meet you um i'll stay there for like 10 minutes be like okay well thank you so much and we leave and i'm like not a chance in hell really yeah i'm okay with the tongue piercing i think okay now let me paint another one though you then find out that later and i don't know how you find this out but that they had nipple rings oh that's different do you
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Why is this so different to you?
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Why do you have to... to think that they're trying to prove something.
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Maybe it's a sexual thing. They like it for sexual stuff. Like their partner loves it.
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I don't think you can take those in and out easy breezy.
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We knew a girl in college that, like, it later came out that she had a... Maybe you called a hood piercing or something. Is that what you call it? And it was like you wouldn't have suspected this person. It was like, huh, that's interesting.
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Were you literally just looking at wood-piercing science? What are the chances?
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But to think that a lot of people were like, did Captain Kangaroo have syphilis? A lot of people either just knew in their heart of hearts that he didn't or they Googled it.
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I thought you were talking about the country. That's why I was laughing.
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This is a pretty easy Google search. Is she alive or dead?
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She might have been taking testosterone for wrestling, obviously.
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Maybe one of the biggest announcements. Maybe not of the year, but one of the biggest announcements for us.
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I don't understand the China in all of this.
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The opposite of atrophy. Yes. Okay. You might have wanted to be more clear about this takeaway or connection. Because it's... It was confusing. I'm sorry. And also, she was like a wrestler taking testosterone. I don't think that applies to most people going through perimenopause. Do you see where I was getting confused?
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Can I tell you something? Can I bring a little happy?
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I went to my happy place, Costco, as I do.
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And had three kind of incredible things happen all at once right around the food court.
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I'm walking to the food court and I see this guy. You know what a one wheel is? Have you seen those like electric? It's like one wheel that you stand on kind of like a skateboard.
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And it's like middle-aged men always have them basically.
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I think that's the only people I've ever seen on them. But there's a guy on one of those, right?
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With his hand on the cart, pulling a cart, and then his kid sitting in the cart where a kid would sit with their Costco haul on Flying around now, not in the warehouse. And I got to know, was he in the warehouse on it?
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Yeah, I had just like he had. It seems like he had just come out and into the parking lot. He was like in the food court area and then going to head towards the parking lot.
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Well, I fucking loved it because the kid was joyous. This guy was joyous. And I'm like, was this fucking guy inside the Costco?
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I mean, hopefully he slowed down inside the Costco.
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There was some.
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Well, that's what I'm saying.
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Yeah, that's true.
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the fun out of this yes everything he said is true and probably in a lot of days if I was in a bad mood I'd be like this fucking guy why are you bringing your fucking one wheel to like what are you trying to prove with your tongue ring and one wheel right yes but for whatever reason it was working for me and it was hitting right to me and I was like you do you you guys seem fucking on top of the world then I get to the food court I sit down and there is a
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OK, here's the thing. That's that's the point. You're making my point for me. You don't get to make the point, though. If someone tells me Captain Kangaroo has syphilis, it's kind of a case-closed situation for me, which clearly is what happened to me in my life.
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A woman that looks... How do I say this nicely?
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Like she might have gotten syphilis.
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No, it looks like she's a little crazy.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I clocked her in the... area. I'm minding my business. I'm eating my pizza. I see like these two super happy nuns walking through Costco.
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Oh my God. And I'm like, this is fucking great. I just saw the one wheel thing. And then I look over and I catch this woman looking at me and she is looking at me with the sweetest smile and like energy towards me. Oh. that I was like, what is happening? This is fan-fucking-tastic.
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No, I just smiled back.
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And then I tried to not keep looking back to see if she was just like dead stare smiling at me in a weird way. But it was just like a very sunny Costco experience.
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I just felt great.
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You said everything that you needed to say before, okay? And you saying whatever you're saying now, you might as well have just grabbed a shovel because you're digging yourself a deeper hole.
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Read between the lines.
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You said if I count and add it, you would be like, no fucking way.
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Yeah. Wild how prevalent those have become, right?
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Yeah, maybe they're an accountant and they're really good at it.
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What a hot take.
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I'm just saying of all things that we've ever spewed on this show, we've talked about a bunch of crazy things that could be corrected That we got a lot of corrections on this.
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But you also make a good point about me calling the kettle pointed, whatever.
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I am a curious guy and I'm curious when my antenna goes up, my bullshit antenna. And apparently, rightfully so, a lot of listeners antenna went up when they heard that Captain, I said Captain Kangaroo had syphilis.
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So I... What's so crazy is... I've been trying to figure out who told me this because this is like... How long have you known it? It's in my bones.
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Like, it's in my bones.
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syphilis okay do you hear what you're doing just say it normal like it turns out there's no connection between syphilis and captain kangaroo do you see what i'm saying as if i'm lying like i still believe in my heart that well okay can i can so i thought all right i'm like who could have told me this because it's been in my bones
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Well, I called my dad and I recorded a little bit of me calling my dad. Do you want to hear that? Of course. Okay.
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Oh, nice. I got a really random question for you that I think you might be able to help me with. Yeah. Can you think of any famous people that died or went crazy from having syphilis? From having what?
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I'm trying to figure out. I feel like someone told me that Captain Kangaroo died from syphilis. Syphilis? Now, I thought that person might have been you. It's not?
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Yeah. The ish is important there.
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Yeah, yeah, I do, I do. That's good. Well, I love you guys. All right, that's all I got.
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What's interesting is I wonder if it was something coming through the AirPods. How was I doing it wrong?
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I hear you. Go.
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Okay, syphilis. Sorry, syphilis.
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Am I saying just syph-less? Yes. But he said, it sounded like I said shif-less or something.
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I don't like that at all. I don't like that. At all. You wouldn't do that to, like, a person in a meeting, would you? Or, like, a friend, would you make that face?
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That was pure disgust. Just because I'm trying to say a word? Which you've never called me out on. But now you hear my dad thought I said shifilis, not... Okay. Let's move on. Captain Kangaroo, I'm really sorry. And also... Did you look up Al Capone?
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We're going to believe that. And I hope that's just the truth.
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Well, it is a big deal. But it's not a... It's not as...
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Jesus, Elizabeth, again. Syphilis isn't this like boogie monster.
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Have you ever done the Alcatraz tour? Love that tour. That's a good one.
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What do you mean?
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But you never did.
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What part eroded from the sea salt?
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What does eroded bars look like to you?
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Oh, you think like that rusty and falling apart?
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Yes. Wherever you find your podcast, go search it up right now and hit the follow button. There will be a little trailer there.
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Listen, they, last time I went was, it had to have been 20 plus years ago and they had a hell of an audio tour. I can't imagine what they got now with the technology, you know?
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Some even cooler shit. That's like no.
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Like, I don't know, like more interactive and like, and it knows exactly when you're walking in the certain stuff, not that you have to push the button when you're at the number and stuff like it's better. So a good audio tour, but like what it's like next level, I'm assuming your antennas going off for that. You're just not going to trust anything. I say any of my ideas.
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Oh, speaking of my ideas.
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I want to talk about... Let's make this very fast.
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I think we had... Oh, man. You're cracking me up today. I embarrassed you so bad. Sort of. Retroactively... I talked about this big alien event that was supposed to happen to two of your friends.
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Colleagues, if you will.
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What do you mean?
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Like a two minute trailer. So you'll know it's us. You'll hear our little voices and it's going to start dropping daily next week. So you want to follow right now.
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That's fine, but what do you mean?
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Oh, yeah, no. I wasn't warning them about anything happening to them.
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Well, this did rock the community in good and horrible ways.
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I'm not swimming with abandon. I'm UFO curious. I wasn't presenting any of this as like fact.
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Would you stop yelling at me? Okay.
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OK. Number one, I never said those words at all. I said. I would imagine that if Trump found out about the aliens, he wouldn't be able to keep it in that he would have said something about it.
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A lot of people at the table agreed with me.
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Thank you, Apple. Barry in a hurry, which I really like, says, love it. Such a great way to chill out and have a giggle. Andy and Elizabeth have such a great way of talking about the real stuff with the perfect amount of ribbing.
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Wow. It sounds like this really had a nice impact on you.
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Yeah, well, I was up in Boise, Idaho visiting my folks. I had a very... Es war ein riesengroßer, wilder Wochenende. Ein paar gute, ein paar schlechte. Es war ein bisschen intensiv in einigen Fällen, aber vieles ist passiert. Ich werde die mehr sonnenscheinige Dinge, die passiert sind, teilen. Okay. I went to the salon with them and I had an incident with a snake.
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So I don't know where you want to start. Should we start with the snake?
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Now, I need to put a trigger warning here. If you don't need to hear about a snake death, maybe jump forward a few minutes.
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Now, this is the other big, big, big announcement. If you are my niece, you cannot hear this story because I've been told by your father that you really do not want to hear this story.
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I'm sorry, that was so delayed. And by delayed, I mean like three seconds. It should have been a nanosecond. This next one is from Spotify, from Pluto, the planet. Oh, the planet. Yeah, we got some heavy fucking hitters today. Wow. I'm in such a pickle. Because... You keep losing. I think it might be related. You keep losing. You've only won like once since the new card and the curse came out.
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I'm okay with our niece. She's pretty cool. She's older, you know.
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No, yeah. And he might have said Panda Express the first time. It was just in all of the talks about Panda Express. Panda, singular, was used a lot, too. Does he think that there is a Panda? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He definitely knows.
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That being said, what if there was like an original Panda that wasn't so fast? That's not called Express. It is just called Panda. That would be awesome. We roll in with Panda and we are about to sit down to eat. And my mom goes, oh boy, I killed a snake. And we're like, what? And we're putting the bags of food on the dinner table. And she's like, yeah, we got to do something about it.
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And I was like, Mom, please help. But what does deal with it mean? Well, we don't even know and we don't want to know because for... Because you got Panda. We got Panda. And the similarity between a dead steak and Panda is too close, too. It's just too close, right? So we're all just like, Mom, stop it. But she keeps trying to give, like, some details. And I finally say...
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I will take care of it. Just after dinner. I do not want to, like, can we stop talking about it? And so she says, yes, we eat our dinner. It was horrible. It was not, and no dig at Panda Express. I've had Panda Express. That's a pretty big dig. I've had it before where I've been like, oh, this is pretty good. Maybe I'll come back here for lunch. It is a quick, reasonably priced lunch.
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This was not hitting, okay? No one enjoyed it. The Beijing beef was, something was off, okay? Snakey. So, so dinner ends and my brother's helping my dad with installing like something in the bathroom. Something that's to do with like drills and stuff. That's happening in the bathroom. I tell my mom, I'll take care of the snake. Was? Welche Mauer hat sie? I'm not sure. It's a gas push, yeah.
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Wow, go Mary. But she loves it. She loves mowing the lawn.
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So, when our cat was alive, she would bring a lot of dead stuff sometimes, right? And you have to figure out, what are we doing with the dead thing?
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Are we throwing it like in the trash? That always feels like a little disrespectful.
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Yeah, but it is always something I think about when there is a dead animal that needs to be... Ja, genau. But I said, should we just throw it in the trash? That doesn't feel that nice. And then my brother says, why don't you throw it into the gully and just let nature do its thing. So the gully is...
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Die Art und Weise, wie du Dinge komplizierst, ist... Nein, das ist eigentlich besser, denke ich. Und es macht viel Sinn für mich. Der Gully ist hinter ihrem Haus. Es ist wie ein Gebiet, das nicht ihr Haus ist, nicht ihr Gebiet und nicht das Gebiet der anderen Menschen. Es ist wie ein übergrößeres, wildes Gebiet. And so my brother was like, maybe you just like put it there.
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A hawk will come get it or something. And we're thinking that's better than just leaving it in the front yard. Because how long is that going to take for the hawk? Whatever. So I'm on board with the gully.
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You guys are relying on it. But I'm on board with gully over bagging and putting in the trash. I'm just like, it just seems more natural. Okay. It's going to go back to nature.
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So I have to get the snake. I decide on using a paper towel to pick it up.
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No gloves. Really? Yeah, no gloves. And I need to say that my brother, I didn't realize how grossed out and freaked out by snakes he was. He wanted no part of this at all.
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It's very skinny. So it is like a little yard snake. But I would say length... Probably 18 inches, but it's a skinny little guy.
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I would say a little darker with green and we have some red. It's a situation because of the mower and all.
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No, there's cuts, but it's just, it get, I don't know, it's hurt by the mower and it's bloody.
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So I pick it up and then I go over to the door to get back to the backyard. But I can't figure out how to open it and I ask my mom.
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Yeah, I'm holding it. And so I can't open the gate. I'm like, Mom, will you open the gate? And she's like, I don't know how. That doesn't even make sense to me, because the mower and all of it, whatever. And she goes, let's just go through the house. And I'm like, go through the house? We can't go through the house. Und sie sagt, es ist kein Problem. Lass uns einfach durch das Haus gehen.
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Und ich bin so, du kannst wirklich nicht die Tür öffnen? Und sie sagt, ich weiß nicht, wie. Und dann, also, ich gehe zu der vorderen Tür und öffne sie und ich schreie meinem Bruder. Ich bin so, Matt, wir müssen durch das Haus kommen. Schau nicht aus dem Bad. Also, es wird ein riesiges Ordeal, richtig? Und es wird bereits ein bisschen lustig, aber es ist verdammt.
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Aber meine Mutter ist bereits ein bisschen witzig darüber. Oh, that's very sweet. That kind of thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
She felt bad about it, for sure. And I don't know if she relayed that to the snake. I can't remember. But so we're standing back there and we say our little thing and then it's time for the huck, if you will. And so I go for the huck and I didn't give it enough huck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Oh, you're playing a bunch of complete newbies. Yeah, sure. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Fortunately, round two was much, much better. And I got it over the fence. Oh my God, that was so funny. That was that, yeah. Wow. So it was pretty good. We went to the salon and the hairstylist was a very big character, filled us in a lot about her dating life situation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I can't, we can't even share it on a Patreon episode.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
You lost against me the first time I ever played.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Okay, maybe. So, here's one fun one that, like, this really isn't my story to tell, so I'm gonna, I will make it
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Well, that's part of the interesting part, is the pubic hair about this story. So that's hard to do. Actually, it's not hard to do, but it's a very important part of the story.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
So, quick story, and if the lady hears this, I'm sorry I didn't ask if I could tell the story, but that's why I'll keep out a couple details maybe. Here we go. Sie ging nach Vegas mit einigen Freunden und sie sind in Vegas. Sie treffen ein Grupp von Männern, wie das manchmal passiert in Vegas. Ich bin da. Sie sind da. Sie haben viel Spaß mit diesen Männern.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Diese Männer scheinen ein bisschen jünger zu sein. Wenn die Mädchen so 40 oder 30 sind, sind diese Männer in den Mitte 20s bis Mitte 30s. Okay, die Menge von Männern. Nothing happens that night, though. Nobody's hooking up with anybody. Some of her friends are married, but they do have a lot of fun with these guys. So the salon, my parents' stylist, wakes up the next morning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And again, nothing happened to these gentlemen. In Las Vegas?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And it's just an ass pic. Okay? It's an ass pic of the guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
They hadn't hooked up, but it's a photo of his ass. And she's like... We didn't hook up and then for in the morning for this to come in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Yeah, like you made that decision in the light of day and you sent an ass photo. But she's like, whatever. I don't remember what she said, like her response, but was like, nice looking ass, right? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Nein, nein, nein, ich weiß nicht genau, was sie geantwortet hat, aber ihre Meinung war so, okay, aber auch mit ihrer Freundin so, das ist seltsam, es ist 10 Uhr und er hat mich einfach gefragt. Es ist ein novel Moment.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
This is why it's infuriating to me. You really don't think I can win anymore, do you? What is it? You know sometimes I can't win.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And she's kind of expecting like, well, where's this going? Sure. She's thinking some pubes or a dick pic may follow at some point, right? Pubes? Well, I'm saying that's where I'm connecting your pubes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
She's saying like... No one's like... Not a pube pic, but a dick pic.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And I'm guessing most dick pics have some sort of pube action in it, right? Typically. A dick pic never comes. Okay. But more photos... That's true.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Dick pic never comes. But more photos come. And a lot more photos come over the next week.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Fotos keep coming. Every single photo is an ass pic.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
On one day in particular. She's out doing her day. She's busy. She opens up her Snapchat. There's 20 different ass photos.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I wanna know. I don't know the exact details of what the replies were like and how engaged she was with it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
She didn't shut it down, right? But she did say something like, but after the first few, it started to be like, okay, what is this guy's deal?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And so I'm saying, well, it must have been the situation too that like, this guy must have like a gallery of ass photos on his phone.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And she's like, no, no, because... Wow, what confidence. Wow, what confidence.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Even before we went, they were telling me like, it's so fun to go get our haircut here because we always get these crazy stories about her dating life. And like, she's just, she's really funny and really cool. And so it is just like a very fun time. Very, very fun time. So yeah, they got their haircuts. To finalize my trip, I want to tell you quickly about my lease.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I didn't even know I was walking into a lease weekend. But the day I get to my parents, they say, hey, our lease is up. And did your heart sing a little bit?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
No, it doesn't hurt. Does it sting? No, I feel like you have been inspired by my love of leasing and you have a new understanding and you were like, I wonder if, and you were proactive.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And things worked out in a crazy timing, right? And so I'm proud of you and I'm so happy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I don't feel threatened at all. No, no, no. I do not think you could do what I do. I do not think you... I lied. I lied. I'm deceptive. Um... So basically, the first day we got to figure out what kind of car my parents want. Do they want another Subaru? My mom's talking, she's always wanted a little Jeep. We go around, we don't even test drive, we just like look at a few different cars.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
We end up figuring out they're going to get another Subaru. This time they're going to get a Subaru Forester.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Great car. Das Morgen kommt und mein Vater hat einen Arztabschluss. Also sagen wir, wir lassen ihn weg. Es soll ein paar Stunden dauern. Wir gehen nach Subaru. Wir fangen die Negotiationen an. Wenn alles gut ist, bringen wir meinen Vater zurück nach dem Arztabschluss. So we roll in. I had already texted in the morning saying we want to look at this one particular Forester. Can you have it ready?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It's ready. We check it out. Everything's good. My mom and I are like, Jesus, Foresters are way nicer than we thought. So we're stoked. And we go to sit down with a nice young man.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Oh, they never see me coming. So we sit down with him. We're talking. And he basically does his round one of this is how much it will cost.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ich bin bereit für es. Ich weiß, dass die Fahrt selbst eine 35-Kranken-Fahrt ist. Ich weiß, dass sie in Boise für irgendwo zwischen 32 und 34 Euro verkaufen. Also ich weiß, dass es dort Wigglerum gibt. Und dann habe ich eine komplette Verständnis, wie Leasing funktioniert. Like, what is it? Well, it's they're crazy numbers. It was like .00287 something. And I knew I just knew it was different.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And I have on my phone notes of all this. And I have all the different scenarios of on my phone of like where I could get to price wise and how I might get to it. I'm very prepared. So I said, okay, this all looks good and I can see where they're not bullshitting, right? I can see the prices I'm prepared for.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
They offer us $2,500 for the one they're trading in, which I'm like, that's exactly what I was expecting. There's a lot here that looks good to me. So I gotta hunt down the problems and I find it with the money factor. So I say to this guy... Oh, wait. How you're just looking at me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
If you were the face of 2024, Kulop's the face of 2025?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Okay. Also, and to make this like easier to follow. Okay. Okay. So I say, that doesn't look right. And he's like, no, that's what it is if you got top tier credit. And I was like, well, that's great. They definitely have top tier credit, but that's not looking right to me. You know, I've done some research. And he's like, where have you done your research?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Yeah. And so, but in a nicer way. But he's like, because I do think people come in and they think they know. Sure. There's times I'm sure they're wrong. I know I'm not wrong. But he's good enough that it makes me doubt myself a little bit. It does.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Und dann stehe ich auf meinem Telefon und es sind einfach seltsame Zeiten, richtig? Und du lässt es einfach seltsam sein?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Sie ist fasziniert von dem ganzen Ding. Okay. Und sie sitzt einfach da.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ich erinnere mich nicht, weil ich ein bisschen schäle, weil ich denke, ich muss das machen. Also bin ich auf meinem Telefon. Ich schaue jetzt doppelt, ob ich richtig bin, weil ich wirklich glaube, dass ich richtig bin. Und ich werde mehr und mehr sicher, dass ich richtig bin. Und dann sage ich... You know what? Give me a second. I need to go make a phone call.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And inferring like I'm going to double check on this. So I go out and I call my brother and I tell my brother I'm just wasting time because I need this guy to think that I'm on the phone doing something. Oh mein Gott. Aber immer noch, der monatliche Betrag ist jetzt etwa 470. Und das ist zu viel. Der Weg, um das zu reduzieren, ist, um den Preis des Autos zu reduzieren. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Sie haben bereits 1.000 Dollar bezahlt. Long story short, ich weiß, ich muss hart rein. Ich will bis zu 400. Das ist mein Ziel. Wow. Also habe ich für 375. Wow. Ich sage, es fühlt sich an, als wären wir wirklich weit entfernt von diesem Thema. Andy, I would be so uncomfortable. Yeah. Basically, I said...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ich habe etwas gesagt, wo ich wieder weggegangen bin, und dann komme ich zurück und sage, hör mal, ich habe gerade mit Napa gesprochen, der anderen Subaru-Verein. Sie sind bereit, es für 400 Euro zu machen. Und ich habe gesagt, wenn du 400 Euro machen kannst, ist das großartig.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
For Rocket League? Yeah. Wait, you're saying you always have 2026?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ja, ich habe nie die andere Verleihung angerufen. So, if you can get to 400, great. If not, like, I'm gonna go. And by the way, and he already knew, we gotta go pick up my dad at the doctor's appointment. And he's like, how much time do you have? And I'm like, we gotta go in like five minutes. And he goes, okay, you have five minutes? And I go, Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And he's already, he's like, you don't want to go to that other dealership. You're going to get in there and it's going to end up being way more than 400 and all this stuff. And I'm like, we got to go pick up my dad. It was like working out so perfectly. Like so perfectly. I am like... I'm also, but the adrenaline I have at this point is like, I am on another cylinder. I am fucking cooking, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I'm glad that you have that sort of goal and that's going to fuel you. But oftentimes, once you fall from being the champ, it's hard for the champ to get back on top again. It's like... You start losing momentum, you start losing confidence. Dan Ricardo. Sure, that's an F1 reference. Some might say a much better reference could be Lewis Hamilton. Correct. If we're going to use F1 references.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
No, I'll tell you why. This is why I still think it's principled. I respect their craft, right? But they need to respect my craft and I know that they're lying to my face. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, because if you're going to sit there and lie to me, I'm going to lie to you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
And then I have to wonder... The other thing you have to realize in all of this is so much time goes into this that for me to like actually walk away for those guys, it's got to be like, God damn it. I put so much time into that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Then they got to go tell the manager like he really did leave, you know, and the manager's like, why did you close the deal? Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Yeah. Anyways, they got a new Forester and I love the Forester. I didn't know I liked Foresters so much. It is so nice once you're inside and the way they drive.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It was a high. I feel buzzing talking about it right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It was the next day. The snake was the next day. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
All right. While I'm in Boise, I have some downtime at night. I'm watching YouTube. I'm having a hard time sleeping. The pillows were shitty. And a YouTube video popped into my feed that was about this Stanford professor talking about AI. Stanford or Stanford?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Who's saying anything about Yale? Did I say Yale, Professor?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Stanford's in New Haven? I'm getting really confused. There's a prestigious school.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
So, anyways, I watched this YouTube video and it's pretty fascinating. This professor that was talking about AI, how he uses it and creative ways to use it. And I kind of hate AI and that could be a whole separate rant. But this gets me a little curious. And then I start, I'm killing time because I can't sleep. I'm just like plugging some things into AI. I'm messing with Google's Gemini.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
No, but I have it set on my thing. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But that's exactly why this happened. So then I get the idea, what if I do something on Nobody's Listening, right? Like have it do a research project on our podcast. And one thing that we've been trying to figure out is how to make our YouTube numbers better. We got great Spotify numbers, great Apple numbers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
We've just never, the YouTube numbers, thank you for listening on YouTube if you do, but they're not that big. So I make this prompt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Like and subscribe. I make this prompt that's like, hey, I have this podcast. You're a podcast YouTube expert. And I'm wondering if you can give me some ideas of how we can grow our YouTube channel. And I say, the show's called this. Here's a link on Apple. Here's a link on Spotify. You can check out our episodes. And our show is basically about this. And I give it some information.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Which is important to you. You like that. You love a father-son bond. Okay. More than a father-daughter bond.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Will you check this out? And it's like, yes, I would be happy to. And give me a few moments. And it comes up with like a 20-page report.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I haven't actually read the report yet. That's a lot of reading.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
But then there's this thing that says, would you like me to make this into a podcast for you to listen to?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
No, it then takes the report and makes a podcast based on the report. This is not just it reading the report.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Because the report gets pretty technical. There's tables in the report. There's spreadsheets. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
The lady being like, yeah, yeah. You know. You know. You might have to turn up your headphones because I can't adjust them on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Okay, wide range. Okay, I'm like having such an emotional reaction to this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
The key takeaway from the Stanford professor, Stanford, was you have to think of the AI as Es ist nicht so, als ob es mit dir funktioniert. Es ist nicht so, als ob es eine Sache ist, die du nutzt. Es ist so, als ob es eine Sache ist, die du mit dir arbeitest, um dir zu helfen. Es ist wie ein Mitarbeiter. Ja, es ist fast so, als ob man es mehr als eine Person denkt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It's... Totally. My areas where I've been upset about it is, one, I've tried to use it before for our Nobody's News show to help do research on stuff. And in real time, it gets stuff so wrong when it comes to current events and whatnot. So that has been frustrating. Like, oh, it's worthless for that. You can't trust it, right? Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I'm very anti, but I do also understand that there will probably be things that it will do that like we just have to get on board with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
I literally can remember where I was when the video came in. Not appropriate for me to look at it then.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It's going to be a lot, yeah. Now I do think... This all made me realize, so like doing this, I was like, oh, I can see like really helpful ways that are really interesting. And this stuff is just going to get mind boggling crazy. And I don't want to be left completely behind, too. Do you know what I mean? Yes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
So it made me realize like, oh, I need to like just learn some of this stuff on the very core level, whether it's just like, help me write this email a little bit or stuff like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
You've been to it. This will be your fourth time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you can't take an hour and a half out of your day to honor these people.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Oh, it doesn't hit like it used to hit. It doesn't hit the same. Okay, sure, sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
You said what taps are. Did you mean to say it that way?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
You said it again. Do you know what Taps are? Yeah. Do you mean the musical piece called Taps?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Or am I wrong? Because I'm okay being wrong here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
But you're saying it's one piece of music, like you could say, oh, they're playing taps. It's not a collection of different ditties that all share a similar thing, right? Okay, okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
It would be like he read about the significance about the Star Spangled Banner, right? Yes. Okay, now we're on the same page.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Das ist interessant. Ich denke, du sagst auch, dass es eine Verteilung von Kirche und Staat im Allgemeinen ist. Doch in einigen unserer älteren Traditionen ist Gott in diesen Dingen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ich will das nicht lesen. Ich werde es nie lesen, weil ich den Buch immer noch lese. Ich habe ihn acht, neun, zehn Jahre ago oder was auch immer. Aber jedes Mal, wenn ich den Buch sehe, bin ich so, das ist wirklich in meinem Alley.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Ja, ja, das klingt so. Und ich respektiere es. Okay. Okay. Ja.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Oh, everybody's sitting? Yes. I've never seen that at the school.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Now, the daughter... Oh no, didn't quite go how everybody was hoping.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
But did, because it's so, I hate to even do this. Is it safe to say they didn't get, like, a viral message? Okay, okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay, I have so many questions and probably not even worth looking into because who needs these answers? This is not the place. Interesting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
170 - Snake In The Gully
Yes, I'm going to fly through two real fast. One from Apple, from Barry in a hurry.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Okay, that's fine. Okay. But you are getting, you're attaching to the wrong gritty.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So she heard the rumor. I heard the rumor. That seems wild. Does it seem interesting to you or do you think that just seems like a normal thing?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
It would be funny if you looked at one of the YouTube videos and you were like, what the fuck is he thinking?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
You seem interested in how my mom found out. You don't seem interested that the priest has his back to everybody that's coming there to worship.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
To me, the headline is the priest's back. That seems boring to me. That seems not charismatic. That seems rude. weird to me, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So I have to call so many times. They never pick up. Then I start getting in my head, is it because my- You're Jewish. Yeah, I do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
The caller ID. How dare you? This is around the time we're talking about star six, seven. So then I start six, seven calling them. Whoa. Still no answer. Finally, I call.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Seven, probably. Finally, I call and a woman answers. Should I give her name?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So I said, hey, Barbara, my parents are, I lie a little bit. I hope that's okay. But I was trying to think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I think you're going to like this lie. I think it's a pretty good setup. Because I needed a way in. Right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
I just said my parents are new to the area. And my mom's a little hard of hearing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
And they're thinking about coming to check out the church. And they heard a rumor that the priest gives his sermon with the back to the audience.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
I thought it was perfect because then I didn't say, I should have said like, and she needs to read lips, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Well, this lady didn't really ever seem to acknowledge that. And let me say this, because I'm not going to out this church, right? So this could be Barbara. There's probably a Barbara at 30 different churches.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
That's fine. Kiana, give the YouTube videos one more chance, because I'm going to get it dialed in with our control slash reference. Okay. Also, I have some family meal ideas. Potato and leek soup.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
There's more than one Catholic church in Boise, Idaho, right? Yeah. Okay, cool. Barbara seemed annoyed at the accusation. Okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
I just, how I said it to you. My parents are new in the area. They're thinking about coming in to check out the hearing. What? They're thinking about coming to check out the church. My mom is hard of hearing, though. And we heard a rumor that the priest gives his sermon with his back to the audience. And I came up with the better congregation. I said congregation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Okay, well, her vibe to me... Let's circle back to the rumor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
But it was not a warm vibe. It was... Welcome to Catholicism, baby. It was kind of like annoyed at this accusation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Right? Where I would have thought... Someone would be like, oh, no, that's not the case or whatnot. Turns out it is somewhat the case, though. So here's what's going on. The church has a unique setup. That's how she leads. Well, the church has a unique setup. And it's kind of with this, like, aggressive vibe. It's currently somewhat in the round.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
When the priest is at the altar, okay, which I think I know what means. I've been to some services.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
I went to her graduation. I can picture that. So she said, I'm looking at my notes because I wrote down clearly. When the priest is at the altar, for example, doing the consecration, his back would be to you. If you're sitting at those seats.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So this rumor is not unwarranted. Right. OK. Those same seats, though, are great if you want to see other folks doing the readings. Their backs would not be to you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So I'm thinking, okay, priest at the altar back towards you, but people giving readings. I'm just thinking of normal church, and usually everyone's always facing the same direction. I'm thinking of weddings. I'm thinking of all of it. I'm getting a little confused.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
They're confirming that at least this one section back to you if you're sitting in these seats also in the round.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
So I asked, I said, well, I'm assuming and I was very generous with this. I said, I'm assuming he's very mindful if it's in the round of doing what you do in the round. You got to turn around. You got to face everybody. And she said, you know, of course. And we have a very good sound system.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
For my hard of hearing mother. But so it does seem this rumor is somewhat warranted, right? Because even if his back is just at these one seats during the consecration, his back's going to be towards a bunch of people during the round part. Like if he's always moving, it seems like this is a different thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
144 - Let's Party!
Yeah. So my takeaway is Barbara, I think, could have been a little more...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Generous of the Holy Spirit to me. And that I'm going to have to get eyes on this myself the next time I go to Boise. I just need to go to a mass, which I think my mom would be tickled about if her and I went to a mass.
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We'd have different agendas. I would be curious. She would be stoked to go to a mass.
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So that's all. I know it's like not that juicy, but that's what I found out.
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Oh, so circling back to that, that was the part I hated going to church with my mom because I would sit there by myself.
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It wasn't that bad. I just thought it would be different.
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Okay, next one. Pizza beans. Pizza beans. Kiana, how the hell are we supposed to know what pizza beans is?
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Can I say something, though? I get the impression, and maybe I'm just saying this because I want this to be true, but that they get this feedback from sometimes.
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Or if I would. Either of those scenarios, real bad. And probably we would link to this. Okay.
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All right, I'll keep going while you look that up. Pasta with green sauce. Wait, what the fuck is going on, Kiana?
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Okay, so veggie shepherd's pie is very doable. Smitten Kitchen has great recipes. Pizza beans. For the last three.
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Why did you have to caveat it with her size and her perspective? That seems to take away from what you're saying to me.
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What's the point of this story, then? I don't get it. What are you trying to say?
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but only because she's petite? Do you see what you set up?
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No, I just realized like the mic is like is really high on you, which might be a little weird, but don't change it too much. It's good.
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And I know that you would much rather have your little cheesecake in the morning for breakfast. I was thinking about future Elizabeth being so excited to have this cheesecake instead of this thing, which you were nibbling on so slow. So, yeah, but...
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She thought she was like, God, they're going to have a difficult weigh-in tonight.
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No, I haven't because I want to save it. So our kid was in the playoffs for soccer. We're talking 10-year-old soccer here.
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Big deal. Playoffs, if they win the playoff game, they go to the championship. It was just exciting. It was very exciting. The matchup between the two teams was great. We start off the game, we're up 1-0. Vibes are high. So the rest of the game goes on, and it is a great game. But a couple things happen where there gets a little murkiness of the rules, sort of.
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God, I'm going to take you down a peg or two. Are you ready? Is it the same broccoli soup you normally make?
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Probably the most of note was the other team. This was, I think, in the second half or maybe right before the second half ended. It was after a water break. Do you know how they do like water breaks during the game? Have you seen that?
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So it's not halftime, but it is like a quick little break. Yes. Almost like a quarter or something.
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But it was after a water break and they start playing. They've been playing for at least like two or three minutes. All of a sudden the other team gets a breakaway and they're charging down towards our goal.
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So we're all looking at like the goal like, what the fuck? Where's our goalie? Right? Yeah. All of us parents. And the other team just charging, charging makes an easy goal. It turns out it seems like our goalie might have had to take a quick bathroom break during the water break. That's what I think happened.
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I know, but you've made broccoli cheddar soup before. Do you always make the Smitten Kitchen one?
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And so I think came back and saw the game was moving and maybe just assumed like, oh, they put a different goalie in because they do rotate goalies all the time.
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Yes. So it was an awkward moment. Yeah. I don't put this on that kid at all, though.
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But it was an awkward moment. And just also, I think it raised a few, like, is that goal legit? Like, it just felt a little weird in a playoff game. Sure. So that's in the air, right? Game goes on, goes on. And at the, I mean, we're talking buzzer beater at the very, very end.
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The other team scores, and they lose their minds in excitement, and then the game's over, and all of us are like, oh, darn it. We lost. Okay?
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Yeah. At least in my mind. Okay. And how the other team like reacted. Joyful. Joyful, crazy. And then like literally 30 seconds later, they blow the whistle. It's the end of the game and it's like hysteria. So all the kids go back over to their side of the field. They're all, you know, doing their thing. All of us parents, both teams, we start kind of picking up our stuff.
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And then maybe a few minutes goes by and then it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Game's not over. I'm like, huh? Game's not over. It's tied. And I'm thinking like, oh, did they not count the empty goalie goal?
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Right? I'm like, oh, that's interesting. But I'm kind of like, huh? That's weird. And then so all of us parents kind of start like milling about, but we don't know what's going on and it's taking a long time. And we see across the field the coaches from both teams and the refs like getting into it. So we're like, huh, what's going on?
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Then a ref comes over to our side of the field to all the parents and is like, what do you guys think the score was? And I'm like, oh boy, this is ugly.
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This is bad. And the ref says, I had the score at 2-1 right before the end of the first half. And then the other team, then we scored another one, bringing us to 3. And then the other team scored 2 in the second half. So the ref was like, it's 3-3. A score that I didn't even think it was. I thought maybe it was 2-2 if they're not counting this one mystery goal, right?
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I liked it a lot, but I didn't think... I thought it was the same one you always make, and I was like, oh, this batch isn't quite as good as it normally is.
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So I'm like three, three. But then I'm thinking, oh, wait, it did seem like maybe we could have had two to one before the first half. So then I start thinking like, oh, maybe maybe that's right.
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So what happened was so there becomes this huge argument. Is the score three, three or was it three to the other team? One. And our team is saying is accounting for these three goals that we have.
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What I will say if I'm being completely honest of the vibe is I do think like when the game ended because of the hysteria of the other team. We and some of the other parents on our side were like, oh, we lost. Like it did feel.
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Because once this kind of comes out, like, no, no, no, it's three, three. The other team starts losing their mind.
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The coach is losing their mind. The parents are losing their mind. One parent says, I'm calling the cops. Okay. And it's getting wild. And this whole being in this mid weird zone of question marks is taking way too much time. We're talking, this is like a 10 to 15 minute deliberation.
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Before someone finally makes a call like we're going to make the kids doing penalty kicks. At this point, in this time of question marks, I'm standing with a couple of the other dads and we're going, if this goes to penalty kicks and we win, like... This is going to be on the news. It's getting so heated. Like the parents and the coach are getting.
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Because other parents are going to lose their minds because they were so confident that they won this game.
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A lot of the kids giving middle fingers to our kids and stuff. It was escalating very quickly.
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Yeah. But anyways, long story short, it is so heated and uncomfortable.
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No, I know what you're talking about. It's not that one. I wouldn't get those confused.
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Yeah. Is there yelling? Yeah. There's a lot of yelling going on.
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And I'm with a group of dads that were just kind of stunned in amazement and kind of like, this is so funny. This is wild. But also, what are we going to do? Yeah. But it just seems so crazy. And so it ends up going to penalty kicks. And it comes down to our daughter. Oh, my God. Not to win it, because holy shit, that would have been so crazy. But it comes down to her not to lose it.
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She makes it. So each team got five penalty kicks. And I forget what the score was up to, but it basically was if she missed it, they would have a chance to win. It wasn't like if she scored it, we would win automatically, which would have been kind of epic. But she was the last person to go on our team.
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And so... Let's say this. If she didn't make it and then the next team made it, they would have won. If she didn't make it and they didn't make it, I think you get another five penalty kicks or something crazy. Oh, wow.
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Anyways, she crushes it and so everyone goes ape shit.
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And then the next team goes and our goalie blocks it. So we won. Oh, my God. It's mayhem. Our team is now excited, going crazy. And then, I mean, I guess the end moment is like there was a car driving away and a mom yelling out of the car like cheaters at us as they're driving away.
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Oh, wait, let me. Can I do one quick thing? Yes. I will say, though, then we went to the championship game a few days later. And that other team, we ended up losing. It was a great game. But that team has an intensity to it.
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The final championship game that I think I could see directly reflected in the coaches of that team. And, like, one of the coaches was this woman that seemed like a total badass. And it was, like, more of an intensity that is, like, being...
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Kiana continues, I've been checking out recipe books at the library, which has been helpful as there are only about two to three keepers from each book, depending on your family's preferences. Keep up the amazing work and can't wait to hear about your next adventure. So that's sweet. We wouldn't be caught dead in a library.
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Yeah, this is from Kiana on Apple. Head sizing and meal ideas. Andy and Elizabeth, I look forward to Wednesday mornings when I get to hear your voices. The topics you cover are usually things that I'm thinking about, too.
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You do. Anyways, but that's good advice. And also, you know, I check out books regularly.
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Me, personally, I was like... call the cops because I got to see what the cops show up and what happens next. Like, what are they going to be like? Like, they're going to decide if we get penalty kicks or not. Like, that's where my head was like. I was like, I would love to see this version.
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something got lost yeah there does see something murky i will say that it did seem when they were like oh no you guys were up to one before and i was like oh wait that does seem right so whatever there's some murkiness with that plus the other goal like there is question marks that still surround it i will admit that so there's enough question marks from enough people that warrants like this isn't cut and dry and
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It'd be a cold case for a long time probably. A cold case.
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Regularly. From using the Libby app on my phone from the Los Angeles Public Library for my Kindle.
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Me as a fifth grader flipping someone off. Probably. Yeah. Yeah.
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No, no, no, no, no. That's the last thing he said. No, no, no, no.
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Okay, I still think it's inappropriate, but the fact that it was in an area and then you got to go wheeled, it wasn't like as you were going under.
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Just so other people can't have them for 21 days. I can't tell you how many times I check out a book and I don't read it. And it's like some poor soul had to wait 21 days for me not to read it till they could check it out.
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So there's a camera then with like a knife at the front of it or something?
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Um, maybe like a power washer or situation or something or a laparoscopic. That's probably what it is.
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I feel a little squeamish about it all. Because I saw, we were driving back from the colonoscopy and you had like all your paperwork on your lap discussing what we're going to get for lunch because you haven't eaten in 24 hours.
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And I just, we're talking about getting, what is that place? Gingergrass. What is it though? What kind of food is that? Vietnamese. You're flipping through your papers and all of a sudden you open it up and it's just photo after photo of the inside of your colon that I glance.
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Well, it was just like we were about to eat and I don't need to see that. It looked clean.
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Yeah, because. OK, so you're saying they should have unlimited copies. So just all books are free now. It's a library. Think about that for a minute. Yeah, they have a certain amount of digital copies, just like a regular library would.
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Yeah, maybe. I think it's so sweet of you to say that and I appreciate it. But it does seem like I wonder what your bar is because it does seem like a pretty low bar. I don't ever feel like I'm going out of my way. I'm just like, you know, someone's sick in the house. These are the things you do. Maybe it's because I was raised with integrity. Yeah.
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No, but that is so sweet for you to say, but it doesn't seem, and I'm so happy to do all that stuff, but I would always, like you do that same for me and we do the same for our kids. It just seems like I'm wondering what version you were imagining as possible with other people.
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It just seems like such a low bar. I love it. I'm just so curious what this... If it's a vision in your head or if it is a reality in other... I think there are a lot of couples.
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Hey, I want to give a quick shout out. We either have a new listener, I'm suspecting, or one of our listeners is on vacation in Finland because we skyrocketed to the top of the charts in Finland.
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A few months ago, Andy mentioned that he thought his head was too big and he resizes for the videos.
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I love that. So either you're a new listener or you're on vacation. Both just wanted to shout you out. And thanks to everyone else. I see our Cayman Islands listener shot us to the top of the charts there as well. We knew about you, though.
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I love it. And up to 18 in Slovenia. Oh, shout out to all of our Slovenia nobodies.
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Listeners, good call. Maybe it's... Let us know. Leave us a comment. Yeah. Nothing would tickle us more if you left a comment on Apple or Spotify if you're from Finland or Slovenia.
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Do you want to start with the church? Because I called. Do you want to get that over with real quick?
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Thank you. So I have been trying to get a hold of a church in Boise, Idaho, because I heard a rumor about it when I was visiting Boise a couple weeks ago.
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So here's the rumor. This is a Catholic church in Boise. The rumor was that the priest, is that right? The father of the priest?
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The priest does not face the crowd when he gives his sermon, that his back is to the audience.
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It isn't too big. Actually, I couldn't watch your YouTube videos because Andy's head looked too small compared to Elizabeth's.
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I have a ton of questions. That's why I had to call. But that was the rumor that I heard. And I thought. hell is going on with that might not be the right word what what the heck is going on with that what the heck a rooney now how did you hear this rumor it's such a weird thing for it to come into your room did you know were you like what because it's a church that like my parents drive by
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Yeah, but this is a Catholic church. My mom identifies as Catholic. It's just novel to them. And they've thought of maybe going to it.
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Oh yeah. Her and her friend Karen. Yeah. Oh, it was a big deal. I got to go to the graduate. It's not called a graduation, but you know what I mean?
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I don't know if that was the name of it, but it was like a big deal when we went to the final thing and yeah, they had to do a bunch of stuff.
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I don't know, but it took months of them going to the things, classes and all this stuff. And they did it at the, they did it at the St. Louis. I want to say it was like, I don't know. It was kind of a cool church, but not the one that we ended up going to. Doesn't matter. This is not what I want to talk about.
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Also, okay, wait, I better pause right there. It is, I got to figure out a new way. I think my new thing is I'm going to try to make the microphones look the same size in the video.
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Wait, but you're basically saying that my mom is not credible. No, that's not the right word. That she's not. You don't believe that she took the steps.
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Why would you say that about my mom? You think my mom just one day woke up and was like, I'm Catholic now?
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No. And then doing it. Wow. You're painting a picture. I have so much integrity, okay? Yeah. says integrity is generational okay okay for you to accuse my mom that she would go up and get the cracker and wine without taking the right steps is ludicrous she is has so much integrity and she takes the steps necessary no shortcuts okay and give me one example of my mom taking a shortcut
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You're being so generous. And you're right about Karen. So you're not wrong about Karen.
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No, I don't think so. And we have 50 plus years evidence that that never happened because she probably would have had to take in all the steps.
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Because integrity is generational and the Rosens have integrity.
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I'm telling you, I go back and forth trying to get our head sizes right. If our heads, if I'm like, okay, I'm getting there. Mine should be about the same as yours, but a little bigger. Then my nose looks twice as big as your nose. And I'm going, how is my nose twice as big as your nose?
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I know you don't. And what I actually think is happening is. I think you're saying actually a lot more about yourself than you are my mom, actually. That's what I think. Because I really don't think you have proof of this.
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So anyways, maybe she was asking about this church. Anyways, a friend of hers, someone in the community, is the one that told my mom this rumor that – The priest does not face the audience. His back is to the audience.
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I don't, listen, all I heard was my mom heard this rumor and then I wanted to get to the bottom of it because it sounds pretty wild to me.
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Okay, you are getting really stuck on this. I can't remember if we were in the car, if we were having dinner at the table, but my mom heard the rumor. I want to get to the good stuff. She heard the rumor. She told me. To me, it sounded crazy. I wanted to call the church to find out if it was true.
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I don't know if our audience. Is that what our second review is?
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Well, I used to love cottage cheese with like pineapple in it.
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I feel like... I don't know why I'm so giggly today. I feel like it was a diet staple for my mom's era.
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But it's actually very good. So I feel like that was a... There was like an era in cooking similar to like Jell-O molds and stuff like that where there would be like a leaf of lettuce and a scoop of cottage cheese and like surrounded by pineapple to make it look like a sunflower or something. Cool. But it's actually a very delicious combination, the sweet and the salty of the cheese.
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God, a boat accident is to lose, because you know that involved a blade.
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And so I haven't had cottage cheese in years and years and years. And recently I got a hankering for it. And I bought it. And shit, it's fucking good.
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Okay. Great. So anyway, but I'm back in the cheese game.
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I think cheese in general. I want to be eating different cheeses.
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Or do you want to guess first? I want to guess first.
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Also, I do want to say this, Andy. You always bring this up of the lifestyle.
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I know, but it's called that in the circle, in the world of the lifestyle. People like regos like me, normies out there, I would never know what you're talking about. Lifestyle applies to lots of different facets. They don't have a trademark on the word lifestyle. So let's be a little bit more specific. You mean swingers.
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Okay, so pineapples have been used. Oh, wait, we were going to guess first. My guess, my initial guess was pineapples. I feel like, well, I guess it was more like seashells, but I feel like it's a fruit that's been used as kind of like a bra.
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I am thinking of coconuts. So that's I was thinking, oh, you're in a tropical place, like more body parts are out and about and you're drinking rum and one thing leads to another and like, boom, it's the beginning of the lifestyle. Yeah.
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I heard somewhere, you know, you're an Aries sun, and I'm Virgo moon and sun. Our two signs are the most likely signs to cheat, but yours is the most by a landslide.
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Okay. That will hurt too. I'm just thinking it through. Okay. You coming to me and going, hey, babe, we've had a really good run, 20 plus years. I'm being respectful. You told me that if I ever felt like I wanted to cheat just to divorce you. And so here I am. The time has come. Right, right. It would be tough. Okay. The pineapple is widely recognized historically in different cultures.
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So that's really interesting. Okay. This crosses cultures of hospitality, welcome, and good luck.
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So that's step one. That's the symbolism of pineapples before the lifestyle usurped it. Now the upside down pineapple.
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Yes. And you've told me that before. Okay. I have a slippery memory. Do you know what I mean? Is associated with swinging or open relationships due to its perceived association with sharing and excess. A play on the fruit's original symbolism of hospitality and wealth.
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So it's like, I think it's a fruit of abundance. It is very impressive.
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It's an incredible fruit. First of all, it's so delicious.
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It is. I hardly know anyone who is like, I hate pineapple.
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Yes. I might be actually a little bit. It makes my throat itchy, but I still go in. It seems like it takes a lot of energy to create it.
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Like, I think all fruits are pretty impressive, but an apple, you're like, okay, I get it.
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Yes. Have you seen? First of all, they're pretty big. Second of all, they're different. An apple is just like, it's all apple. A pineapple is... is like three different fruits stuck together.
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It's this incredible fruit and it has this amazing hat that looks like a Vegas showgirl. It's so beautiful and it's very impressive and you could put it out as a centerpiece.
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Then I think she would say that's in an accident with boats.
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Nature, for fucking Mother Nature to have figured that one out, like, she was high that day.
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She had dropped some acid or something. I mean, she's throwing all these fruits at, like, watermelon. Okay, fine. It's kind of fun. It's pink on the inside. Apples, whatever. Pears, okay. You know.
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Have you seen online the amazing ways that people say you should eat them?
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Like that you, you know, we've got it all wrong. We go about it like cutting this and cutting that. And, you know, cutting a pineapple is a big event also. Unlike an apple. But really that on the outside, all those little spikes are actually each an individual like handle that you pull off a nub to eat.
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What a journey. We went on cottage cheese. We went to, oh, it's cottage cheese and pineapples.
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So upside down is like a symbol of I'm down to clown.
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I have a little pineapple pin that says, world's, it says down the clown. No, this says, Mary Elizabeth gave it to me. It says, world's nicest badass. And actually the other day, Otis was like, that pin is weird because he knows that badass is probably kind of a bad word. And I said, oh, I know. But badass in this sense actually means like it's someone who's kind of cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But I think that you heard about this and you decided all pineapples have to do with the lifestyle and also the lifestyle. Like the word lifestyle now means this. This is such a niche group of people and the pineapple still has meaning outside of it. It has to be upside down. Like there are lots of things.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Big shout-out to Brooklyn Bedding, our sponsor today. We just got a brand-new mattress from them. It is incredible. I have not experienced luxury in the mattress department like this ever before.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Hang on. I'm like tripping over things to get to it. Love Monica. I was just texting with her.
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161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Honestly, I'm sleeping so much better. It is exactly the right—it's the Goldilocks of cushiony and firm. Now, if someone out there is looking for a new mattress, they have all sorts of options, different firmness options, heights, dimensions. They also have this pillow top cooling technology. I think we're going to get for our daughter because she's a hot sleeper.
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161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
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161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
That's brooklynbetting.com and use our promo code NLR for 30% off site-wide. brooklynbetting.com promo code NLR.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I'm so excited to chat with you for an hour so no one's listening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I love their tortellini. I also love that as a mixed household with someone eating meat and someone not, we could mix and match and we both got delicious meals.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Apple, beet, and ginger. He chugged that. He was so into it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yes, they are. They're very artistic. Yeah. He's really interesting because he's this total... I mean, it goes to show, like, don't judge a book by its cover. He seems like this total Queens guy, very lovable. Yeah. But kind of like walking around Paris in like a tank top.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And, like, is not changing who he is to adapt to anything. And you would think he's totally just a guy who sits around playing Xbox all day and eating Doritos. And, like, that's his life. But he's actually a total foodie. He loves, like, fine dining. But it's this novel thing because he is this famous rapper and he's beloved. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
He gets catered to in this way, which I do want to say I don't think would happen for everyone. I do think there is some decorum required. If you're going to a Michelin star restaurant, I wouldn't show up dressed as Action Bronson does.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I don't think so. To me, he dresses like a 90s, like, all due respect, but like Limp Bizkit loving Queens guy who's stuck in his 20s.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
To me, it's not stylish. I mean, he's wearing these like oversized jeans. T-shirts and sports jerseys. I don't think that, I think you're attributing a little bit more fashion. I don't think he's fashion for it. And I think he's even said as much on the show. Like, there's a difference between someone who's curatedly kind of sloppy versus he's just wearing what's comfortable.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
So anyway, what I love about it is he's like, come as you are in a lot of situations where I think I would be really intimidated, particularly in France, you know, where it seems like I'm a little scared of French people sometimes. And if you say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, like it's.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
highly offensive but he just shows up and so they're all tasting these wines that are like a hundred years old yeah you know and everyone's like the tannins and all of the wine stuff that sounds very fancy and he's like shit that's like fucking that's stupid yeah That's stupid.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
You don't know because you don't drink very much anymore and you don't really drink wine very often. You did have a glass of wine with me the other day. Yeah. But I go through a journey pretty much every time we watch an episode where the first 10 minutes I'm like, I love wine. It is such a beautiful beverage and it has like... When you have a good glass of wine, there can be so much complexity.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I mean, it's similar to food flavors where something can really just like take you by surprise. Yeah. And then I get like, I start to get really anxious watching how much they're drinking. And like, just, I can't have more than two glasses, you know. And seeing that they're having eight, ten.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
This man owns a winery and it has like three different caves there, which are kind of the underground storage places for the wine.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And that man and his wife, I'm like, they might have life figured out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Now it's also like, is that because you're an alcoholic and you're drinking with your friends and you're opening 50 bottles of wine?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
That would drive me nuts that you were like starting this whole documentary. You took the time to drive out to different grocery stores. Yeah. Cameras mounted to cars and shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Because watching them, I'm like... Obviously, they're drinking a lot. The tolerance can be built up. Like, for example, when you were in your 20s, you probably have eight drinks and would be drunk.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But we're like we're planning a hopeful trip to France someday.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay. It's a them. So it's a family? No. Okay. Busy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Anyway, we're hoping, I mean, it's hope upon hope at this moment in time that lots of things work out for us. But that is a goal of ours. And I'm thinking, I need to start building my tolerance up now. But my question is, at what point are you just an alcoholic? Like, your tolerance can't be built up so that you are at the level where you can have 10 drinks and be fine, right? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay, someone like the person in my family who I knew very well was like a functioning alcoholic. I wouldn't have been able to tell necessarily.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But also the person you're referring to, I mean, I think it can get very, very drunk.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
That might be the problem. Life's going to close a bunch of doors for you, isn't it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Alcoholism is characterized by an impaired ability to stop or control alcohol use despite adverse social, occupational, or health consequences. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. Because back in the day with intervention, you know, they'd say your addiction has affected me negatively in the following ways.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
That was from the same box. There were two topless showing their tits out there. In the same box? Yes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I know. It's interesting because my, I feel like the person I'm referring to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Was more in that category, but it did, you know, I'll just say it's my dad and it caused issues between them. But like, and I think that ultimately you were saying the other day, because I was talking about people who, the idea of someone waking up and taking a shot of vodka before going to work. Yeah. Literally blows my mind. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But you said, I bet there are so many people that almost in order to work. I mean, I think that at that point, the disease must be pretty far along. Where then it becomes, I need this to function.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
It's also interesting, like, at one point, I was worried that you had a problem when we were younger. This is New York Times.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yes. And if you're not at a nude beach, it's illegal.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
This was in Sun Valley. So there's like a lot of people who were every summer there. Yeah, you'd see them in the summers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And saying what? Like, you know, you go really hard.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had no idea. Mm-hmm. But what's so fascinating to me is that I feel like that time in our life you had an addictive personality.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
You, like, the smoking, drinking. Yeah, yeah. But we talked, I feel like we had a couple of heart-to-hearts and you pulled it back. Actually, what we landed on was you shouldn't have brown liquor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But you stopped having brown liquor, no problem. And then a year ago, you kind of were like, it's not really for me anymore. But it's not an addiction at all. It's like the opposite now where you're like, I just don't want it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And just how the different phases of life can change. Because I feel like I know I'm all over the place right now. No, no, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But when I, you know, there's that time, I guess, I'm impressed that someone could call it out in high school. But I feel like there's the time after college where everyone's like, you've gotten your college partying out. People are starting to, like, pair up and get into serious relationships and whatever. And you start to see the few friends that you're like, oh, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I'm so... Well, okay. Okay. I feel like you turned into a different person. Unless it was someone else, but I don't think so.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
they have a problem like we all partied like that yes but theirs is continuing on and seems like it's a priority to them and almost that they guilt you for like yeah totally settling down and not like wanting to go hard or whatever i do think i have that gene if you will and i do think that i my body reacts in the like way of like oh i would have a real problem sort of
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Can I ask you a big question? Yeah. I can't help but notice that, and it's not like you were heavily drinking. I mean, after we had kids, it's been kind of tapering off anyway. I wouldn't say that you've been a heavy drinker for the last 12 years.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But you kind of deciding you're over it very much corresponds with when you started ADHD medication. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Because I have to look back at you in your 20s and some of that behavior. And when I first met you, I mean, you were wild. You were a wild guy and like reckless. And if some of that was linked to having untreated ADHD, I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Like without fanfare, without mentioning it or whatever, I go into our, we have a few junk drawers in our house, but as a double verg, I like to keep things nice and tight. And I kind of know where everything is. Now our garage becomes a different story. But for the most part, our house just has, am I boring you?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
There was this Instagram post and I wish I could attribute it to someone. I'm sure I'll just say it and it will come up on people's phones because that's what happens. But it really made me laugh because I went on this girls weekend recently and, you know, max two drinks. I think me and one other person had two drinks.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
We, like, our amazing host had hired a chef to, like, cook this incredible meal for us. Now, we were there to play Mahjong. And you want to be sharp for that. But in any other scenario, I feel like we all would have been getting pretty shit-faced. Like, we don't have kids. We're spending the night at this house. We're not even out. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But all of us are like at a certain stage in our lives. And there was this Instagram thing and it was this woman. And it's like she's – it said like drinking and perimenopause or whatever. And it was like, give me one drink. I'm going to open my legs. Give me two. And then she's like, okay, I got a lot to do tomorrow and I got to – it's like it's over. Very funny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And the way they said it is that there's this idea, and I think in kind of our world, there's less of this, like, it's 5 o'clock, so it's time to have a happy hour or whatever. There's not much of that, I feel like, in our, and maybe it's the stage of our lives where we have kids and we have stuff. And I think our social circle, too. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
But my friend was saying, like, at the time they realized, oh, every night, oh, it's 6 o'clock, I can finally have my, like, drink that I've been waiting all day. And I relate to that, too. I mean, there's some days where I'm like, I just need a drink. Rarely do I have it during the week. But for them, it was like then that started getting earlier and earlier.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And then they also were surprised once they got sober to realize with friends that we all weren't doing this, that we all weren't at 5 p.m.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Because when we were all together, we would, you know, for social events.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Or like on the weekend, if it's 11 a.m. and there's a big pool party, yes, we might have a drink, but that's not every weekend at 11 a.m. Right. That's interesting. And it was like a real light bulb moment for them. That's crazy. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Voyage. Veg-Vag Voyage. Come on, Andy. Veg-Vag Voyage. That is a winner.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay, well, I'm not prepared, first of all. Soft pitch. Okay. Voyage-Vag. Wait, no, hang on. Veg-Vag Voyage. It's a mouthful, and you best believe it's a mouthful. It's all about teaching people how to find great vegetarian food out in the world.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And it's also about teaching men how to eat vagina. No, I think it's just kind of me out there eating food, describing it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
rating it i'll be very honest i'm not gonna go to some bullshit place that's hyped up and be like oh this is so good well that would be hard you're not gonna what is it like patronize them no it's you're not going to it's not gonna influence you yeah i think maybe play k so i'm gonna be brutally honest um
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
No, but, you know, you and I have been watching Jolly. That's another food YouTube channel. Josh and Ollie.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Very charming. And I wish you and I ate the same things because I think that we would have, they have like a fun dynamic. And I think you and I would have a fun dynamic over food. But there's so little crossover for us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
What do you mean? You don't. Are you saying I just don't like food?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Well, I don't like, I don't like food that is trying to be meat. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Like, give an example, because I actually don't know what you're talking about. Here in L.A., I mean, it's not like you need to go to a vegetarian restaurant, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay. I go into our digital junk drawer the other day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yes. Which at one point was a pet... Junk drawer. Now, unfortunately, we don't have any more pets.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Fill my hole. Yeah. Is the title. Fill my hole. Oh, this is great. Okay. You heard it here first.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Fill my hole. Okay, I'm at... My pie hole, you know, you get it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yeah. I focus mostly on vegetarian forward cuisine.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Oh, that's tough. It's Fill My Hole. Wait, Andy, hang on. We have to see if Fill My Hole exists.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Fill My Hole. It's not. It's not. It doesn't exist.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Sure. We have a piece of furniture in our home that I inherited from my parents. One of the few things I still have. Might get rid of it. I don't know. It has a single drawer in it. And in that drawer, we used to keep like dog and cat brushes, leashes, treats, nail clippers, all of the pet paraphernalia.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Fill My Hole. Wow. I'm really surprised that... No one has Fill My Hole? No one has Fill My Hole. Like, we better get it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
It's actually just like a splash page that you could probably buy. And then it's like erotic categories, sex toys. Oh, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Andy, I know we're joking and stuff, but fill my hole. It has such a ring to it. And it's me. Hi. It could be us. Hi, I'm Elizabeth Lane.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I just was looking at the list in Fill My Hole of places to visit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
No, no. I was just curious because the last time we talked about fetish stuff was on our other show, Nobody's News. And you had said like a list came out of the most searched online fetishes. Yes, yes, yes. And that was a very surprising list. Now, none of that stuff showed up here because it was like Balloon Play, Vore, which is Gigantus.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
If you think I haven't looked into this stuff. I'm like, what's it called? Vore? But that list was very, it was like pantyhose, panties, high heels.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
I'm just so not like, I don't know, and nothing against people who are super into that stuff. I did like, you know, audiobook stuff or things like that. Mm-hmm. But I just use the old imagination.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Fill my hole. YouTube.com slash fill my hole. Hi, everyone. What will we call them? The people who are watching.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay. Got it. Understood. And that's fair. Good night.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, our pets have died off and it slowly then became a digital drawer because that's where we would put our pets. I would throw our chargers because it was really easy to access an outlet right there that we would use to charge our kids' devices. And also we have a few battery packs. And then it just started to become a catch-all for all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
You don't like how I'm doing this, do you? Okay, well, whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Well, I feel you're playing Rocket League tonight. I'm not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
And it was a fucking nightmare. It became a rat's nest of wires and cords and you couldn't find what you're looking for.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
It was fucking bananas. It looked so glorious, so organized and streamlined. You must have gotten rid of quite a bit. Yeah. And it looked amazing. And this is just so not like you. And I'm like, is everything okay? First of all, to like take the initiative to go and totally.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Well, no. Actually, I don't when it comes to organizing drawers. No, I do not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Name one other time that on your own you decided, I'm going to clean this out. clean this out a drawer okay so walk me through what you and i was like so happy but also confused yeah what inspired this
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Okay. This day got better. Can I tell you something else that happened recently that I'm turned on by, I'm confused by, I'm like thrown by?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Never got to that. That's something you need to think about when you're buying that, if you buy it in bulk. Might not get to it. I had no idea.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Why? Okay, well, not to give you notes, because you did a great job. Why, if we never used them, did you have a bunch still? Why not just get rid of all of them except for one?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Why are you doing this? I'm just trying to get into the mindset here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Or what? Or you had had the experience with the mini USB and you were like, went about your day and you made a thing on your watch that said, set a reminder to clean out the junk drawer tomorrow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
No, a whim is just you just do it right there. The inspiration strikes you and you take care of it. Even though that's the sort of thing that will eat up an hour or two.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Just answer it. Did you do it right then? I have to think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Great. Okay. This was supposed to be such a beautiful, like, wow, you did this thing. And actually we both just ended up being upset with each other.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Gone, baby, gone. Do you want to talk about how, no, I don't want to talk about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
How I wrote down, I thought Buffalo mozzarella came from Buffalo, New York. And you said, I wouldn't say that to anybody.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Right. Well, is it? Champagne comes from an area called Champagne.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Do you know what I saw? I don't know. There are bitches. Do you know I saw the other day that I was like, you don't see that a lot.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
There we go. Good to know. From someone who's lived it and walked a mile in eight toes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Mozzarella. Mozzarella from Buffalo, New York. It's from. The milk of the Italian Mediterranean buffalo. It's traditionally manufactured in Campania. Great. So it could be Campania mozzarella.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
There is cow mozzarella, cow milk. While still very tender and mild, it has a slightly tighter, springier texture. Its flavor is more mild than buffalo milk and would hold up better to cooking. Buffalo mozzarella. More succulent and lacy. Its flavor is more robust, which makes it great for eating at room temp. When heated, though, it will liquefy more easily, making foods like pizza soggy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
Yeah. Now, it's more rare. Have you noticed that yesterday my lunch was a roasted sweet potato with cottage cheese and honey drizzled on it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
161 - Veg Vag Voyage!
You didn't watch me eat it? We were sitting outside together that whole time I was eating it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ja. I could mention something to our closest neighbors.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I have to do it like the morning after a game if I'm extra loud.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It sounds creepy no matter what. I was playing a video game with my friends that I get pretty amped up about. Sorry about that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Oh, one of our neighbors. I bet he knows what it is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Not only that, every night when we play, we play two warm-up games. There's no treat for me during those two warm-up games, no matter what, even if I score goals. Because you know what? They don't count. It's just a warm-up game. So it's not till official play begins. And I always have a treat, some sort of, I don't know, cookie or sweet, usually also a side of salty right next to it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I do not touch those until I make my first goal. And then I really don't have any until after goals I make.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, there's never been a night where I don't score a goal. There's many nights where my team doesn't win the night. Many. Fuck off. But I'm always going to score. So yeah, if there was like a night where I never got to touch the reward food.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Neighbors are hearing some different sort of sounds.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
How do you feel about delayed gratification? Because that's sort of what it is for me, and I love delayed gratification in general.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay. And you don't want me to be the last person going?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It has nothing about me trying to like peacock as the last one. It has everything to do with me just not wanting to finish and then have to watch everybody keep opening presents.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, I'm finishing on like the same round as everybody else. So if you have 10 presents... And I have five. Let me skip a few fucking rounds so that we link up at the end. I don't have to go last last, but I want to save my last present for the last round. I'm not trying to be the last one to go and be like, okay, now we're ending on me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, this is from Ebony over on Spotify. I'm always so curious what conversation sounds like immediately after you end recording. Great show as always. I laughed so abruptly that I snorted when Elizabeth said corpse play. That's a reference to last week's episode, which I thought was going to get us canceled.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Du machst dich nicht mit dir selbst um und sagst, dann habe ich noch ein kleines Geschenk, wenn ich... Du tust das nicht?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Was, wenn du E-Mails machst oder irgendeine Arbeit und du sagst, hast du jemals einen Timer gesetzt? Okay, und dann... When the clock hits 10 in 15 minutes, I'm going to go get a little treat.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Wenn ich nur... Es ist eine Erleichterung. Ja, wenn ich nur... Wenn all mein Essen als Erleichterung basiert wäre, wäre das problematisch.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ein Gefühl, dass ich dieses Ding nicht verdiene. Richtig, richtig. Was ich nicht, weil ich Rocket League bin, um es klar zu machen. Aber ich verstehe, außerhalb davon, wenn es perversiv wäre, könnte es beruhigend sein.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
You don't have any little quirks like that with candy?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Wenn du der Art von Person bist, die jederzeit eine Zimtrollen-Rolle aufschaut, du bist einfach direkt für den Zentrum gegangen. Ja. Nein, Junge, nein. Warum? Okay, um es so zu machen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay, so you're just throwing the outside away. Yeah. Interessant. Okay. Also, das wird mehr so, dass du einfach nicht magst, wie die Außenseiten von Zimtrollen, glaube ich.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ebony, when we stop recording these episodes... We just go, I gotta pee. Yeah, or it's like silent and then one of us walks out of the studio and I usually grab Elizabeth's camera to get the recording of the video off her phone. It's like... Couldn't be more uneventful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Aber der Punkt ist, wenn du verheiratet bist in dieser Equation oder was auch immer, du lebst mit Ruhematen. and you eat in the middle, okay? And then a roommate sees it. Even if you have a don't-eat-each-others-food policy, but a roommate sees just the middle of a cinnamon roll gone, they're gonna be like, what the fuck is going on?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Oh, okay. Okay. Fun. Okay. With fruit or just whipped cream?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It makes me wonder, we've been watching so much like food YouTube, right? And people going to like really fancy restaurants. And it makes me wonder how, you know, these fancy, fancy restaurants with these crazy different ingredients, but also so many different types of ingredients and like really weird, rare stuff, whether it's seafood, vegetables.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I have to go to the bathroom or... Do you want to talk about your bladder this episode finally? It's been 15 years.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
How do they really know like the proper way to keep that stuff for a long time, I wonder?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
They don't. But don't you think, what I'm saying is like, don't you think that even in those really fancy restaurants, people probably sometimes get food poisoning because of just like the weird ingredients? Or do you think, no?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Das Spezielle manchmal ist das Ding, das sie bewegen müssen, richtig?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Wait, what's cockney? Let's just... We're gonna offend... There's no way we're not gonna offend someone here, so just go for it. Oh, your piss stream is pitiful! You know?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Can be. Got a healthy stream though, I always say. When anyone asks me about your stream, healthy. And when anyone asks you about my stream, what do you say?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Is this a post still going? Can we put a trolly one on this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ich erinnere mich nicht. Aber es gab ein paar. Es gab einen, ich bin mir sicher, dass ich dir das vorher gesagt habe, wo ich ein Party hatte und einige der problematischen Kinder aus der anderen Schule kamen. Und ich dachte, sie machen Coke im Kühlschrank. Und dann war ich so, mach nicht Coke im Kühlschrank. Und dann, als ich da war, haben sie... Aber mach es so, wie du warst, weil du klein warst.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And then when I went in, they had like thrown baby powder all over the bathroom.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, I had a few parties that got a little out of hand at my place. And then when I was, if I'm house-sitting your place, look out. Don't ever let me house-sit a place.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I had a neighbor that was also a teacher that we would go to his house sometimes. No, it's not the one that's in jail for bad stuff. No, it's not that one. But it is a little weird that we would go over to this teacher's house potentially. But, you know, he's a cool guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I'm sure I've talked about this before. But... I would sometimes throw parties at his house if I was house-sitting, and I once threw an epic New Year's Eve party in high school. New Year's Eve?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I'm talking, my buddy Al puked into a wastebasket that was wicker that could not hold puke.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, it wasn't. We were playing quarters on a table that got all messed up. There were kids hooking up in the guy's SUV that was in the garage. The hot tub we almost completely destroyed. I can't believe I got it back to working function. I actually really hope he doesn't hear this because...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay, I want you to pretend as if not a good, good friend. This is just an acquaintance. And you find out, it's not weird that they bring this up, but somehow everyone's talking about their streams. It's not a funny conversation. What about your husband's stream?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It took like a week for, I think Dharma and I like figured it out, but we had to like change the water out and stuff because so much beer and stuff had gotten into it that it started turning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah. Make it simple. Like, were you a bad boy?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
That's a great question. I don't really remember... I think I understood it was getting out of hand. And there might have been some policing during the party. Like, hey, hey, you know. But I think for the most part I was gripping and ripping and having a good time and was wasted.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, we had, I think, like probably five days to try to get everything in order.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
So this was another thing that it had to be very clear to everyone. Like you cannot tell him because yes, they would see this guy. And it did get out that I had a party. And so the teacher did find out and he would kind of razz me for it. And so some kids ratted me out, but it wasn't in a way like, It ended up being okay. Like no one ratted me out like it was fucking crazy. Like, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
That's what's on your mind? That's your concern?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I mean, yeah, I do see that. That could be very problematic. But also, like, pretty great explanation for it. And in addition... In what world is this teacher, in what world is that an issue unless something horrible happens?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I did see in the news recently, there was some teacher that got put on leave because he told his students that there was, he was trying to sell them magic pills for studying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
He was making a joke or something. But it was like a really bad joke. But what I'm getting at here is that
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, but that's not actually what we're working on. What we're working on right now is you in your mind were thinking, I would hate for that to happen to me and my SUV. Why are you worried about it? That's what I want to know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
See, what I think you would say would be like, oh, yeah, it's yeah, it's fine. That's what I think you'd honestly say.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay. Have you learned anything from your crime scene thing? They would realize, they'd be able to like estimate the date. Okay. And then they would say he didn't have the car then. But let's just say he did have the car then. But which makes, it makes no sense in this scenario anyways.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Like random question. Oh, just Google it. Let's not bother her with that. Unless you want to. Because that's a weird thing to text someone. And now I'm getting really suspicious of you. No. Okay, let's not, let's not. Can you estimate? No, no. Okay, good. Google.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
That's gonna think you've murdered a 10-year-old. Did you see what you googled? Jesus Christ. Google, can you estimate how old blood is in a crime scene? Okay, can you estimate how old blood is in a crime scene?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Oh, your fire hose. Yours is the picture when they let go of the fire hose on accident and then it's flailing all around everywhere. And like someone gets hit in the face with it. You gotta be careful with yours. I know you're jealous. You're jealous. I knew, I knew.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Be a little gentle on me. Or maybe not. Maybe I can take it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But anyways, there are times now there is like a time difference with this person. So sometimes I'm getting a text later from him and I'm not seeing it till maybe it's later for me. And I'm thinking, I don't want to text now because that'll be like really late for them. Right. Makes sense. Like, would you text someone back at one in the morning?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It's played a factor for sure, actually. I'm being real about that. I'm not going to minimize my, I'm not good at texting back, though. And my other problem is, if I forget to do it, I really then forget to do it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Potentially, potentially. So, my buddy sent me, we had kind of been going back and forth during the week, but there were some like kind of bigger gaps, and I had missed a couple things. And he texted me on a scale of 7 to 10, what level of aloof would you rank yourself? And I was like, what does that mean? Mm-hmm. Because I know what aloof means, but I also looked it up again.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But it's because I'm just, he thinks I don't care. I'm not responding. I'm not paying attention. And I felt so bad.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah. And it's because I'm not a good texter back. And this person is so special to me. And one of my favorite people of all time. So I really had to look in the mirror. And I'm really upping my texting back game.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ja, ja, ja, das ist eine gute Art, es zu sagen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay, here's the potential ADHD of it. I can't... If something comes in now... and I am doing something else, I now know myself to, if I pivot away from what I'm doing, that's going to mess me up. And also if I pivot into having to write an email especially, or let's say a text, I can get lost in that and not know what to write. And it's hard for me to write those things.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And so that's a frustrating experience in general. So it's this cascading effect of like, Ugh, now I'm off task. Now I'm frustrated with this thing. So sometimes group text is a great example. Sometimes I just will kind of like sit it out because you're also super charming and being funny. I know, but there are some situations where I should be poking in, popping in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Can we talk about that for a second without getting into the details about my business thing?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Okay, so I'm in the middle of... I had something happen to me with work stuff that I had to reach out to a big company that I work with. My publishing company, I can say it. I don't want people to think it's something different than that. And some illegal stuff happened. And I think I may have even talked about it before.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But anyways, I'm trying to see if my publishing company is taking care of the situation because potentially I'm owed money for it, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And the amount of times that I have followed up with these people and they ghost me is now comical. I don't No one's ever even responded since he's pinged them or been in on it. There was one email that was like from the company, like we're adding someone else for clarity. But no one has answered a single question in like maybe five or six months. And it's just infuriating, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Well, yeah, I'm not saying it is the same thing. You might be able to argue, though, that like no one there has any ill will or whatnot. They might just be busy. They haven't looked into it. But it's like at that point, do the common courtesy of acknowledging a thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, we're in a separate thing now, but it's obviously inspired by what we were talking about. But I like... At this point, I don't really even know what to do. It's just... It's absurd at this point. But in the past... Well, I'm kind of like... You've taken that on for me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yes, of course. But I think I learned in those old cases that It would ruin days of mine, how worked up I would get about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, but it's crazy. How do you deal with that kind of thing?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Ich kann mich erinnern, als ich zuerst hier gearbeitet habe. Ich kann mich erinnern, als mein erster Manager, als ich viele Remixes und Sachen machte. He was really good about being proactive, getting me paid. And these were firm, big labels. Und ich kann mich erinnern, dass er mir gesagt hat, oh, ich weiß nur, dass ich unvergesslich folgen muss.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Und ich kann mich erinnern, dass er mir Geschichten erzählt hat, wie er diese Labels um Weihnachten beging, wie, hör mal, mein Klient, es ist Weihnachten, er muss Geschenke für seine Kinder und Familie kaufen. Und wie, ihr habt ihm dieses Geld für ein Jahr verdient. Er hat das Arbeit gemacht. Ich kann mich erinnern, dass er mir solche Geschichten erzählt hat. Es ist so verdammt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Fuck, why is this so fucked up? These are big, legit companies.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Anyways, that's my rant. But I think I've learned the friendship thing. It's a different thing. It was a good lesson to learn. I'm trying to be more proactive about it. I'm trying in the morning in general with like emails and texts. If I do have a text from the night before that I don't respond to, I make a reminder like... Ja. Ja.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Off-putting is a perfect word for it. I don't find it off-putting. I'm messing with you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, I get it. I get it. I can embrace that, the positives of that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I think there's some people that are really good when they make the mistakes of seeing it. Ich versuche zu denken an einen guten Fehler. Ja, genau.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But that's the thing you're jealous of me of, that when I laugh, I don't get phlegmy?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I don't think, okay, I bet if you were to interview like all my Rocket League buddies, they all like me, you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And these other guys love me too. Yes, they do. But I do think that they would say... Whoa, I bet I could have sent that text to Andy. I bet they'd all feel that. Like, I bet they might describe me as sort of aloof, you know, so maybe I can work on that, you know? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Speaking of, can I shout out the shout out that you got?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Are you comfortable with that or is it a little embarrassing? No. You were shouted out on the deep dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Raphael.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
You're just saying, that's, no, you're, that's, that's different. You're just, you're saying your ailments in the, that I don't have your ailments. Okay. Okay. Let's move on. Yes. Yikes. Okay, let's kick things off with what happened with the cleaning lady. Oh my god. Because together we experienced something, but I haven't told you the context of it before you even arrived on the scene.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
They talked about you for at least 10 minutes in the, would it be last week's episode? Yes. Most recent episode.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And it was so fucking funny how they were describing you. And pretty, kind of nailing it. But so, if you haven't, if you listen to that show, what a delight to have heard that. And if you don't, go check it out. They're fucking hilarious.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, it doesn't always have to be true. And sometimes you get a sweet gift like this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Good night. Should we record the next 15 minutes so people can see what happens after we turn this off?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Maybe we should talk about what happened to us first.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Putting them out on the table? Or washing them?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
It's a good point to make, though. She does probably know a lot about us, because she knows all of our drawers. She knows a lot of stuff. Yes. But we don't have that many, like, I don't know, incriminating things. That being said, I'm sure she knows everything about us. Oh, yeah. If you're in her field, you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yeah, something about me. I don't feel like I'm in my body. I don't feel like my posture is right. I feel completely uncomfortable and weird. What is wrong when you're looking at me? What is happening?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Why? This is, again, getting kind of to your pervy brain. Why do the white gloves with Vaseline... Do you hear yourself? I do, but I actually... Do you?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Because when I'm getting the Vaseline, I gotta put a ton of it on my hands. Then I gotta put the gloves on and I'm all Vaselined up. I don't need to touch the jar, even get it more greasy than it should be. I just haven't cleaned it up once you've seen it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But I can't do the cleanup right then. That would be a fool's errand.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But why I'm laughing? Yes, I'm laughing when I say white gloves with Vaseline. There is something about it that does seem a little odd, maybe a little pervy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I can't think of one sexual reason, though. That's the thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Sometimes the most obvious thing is glaring at you. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I want you to say what happened because I'm going to tell you what happened before, which is going to make you feel even crazier.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I was trying to tame some background noise, so the audio was even louder than it would normally be. That's key.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I don't know where my feet are supposed to go. I think the bottom of my chair is different or something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Well, sometimes she hears me making music and then all of a sudden it's just vagina, vagina over and over. I would be curious if I was her, too. Yes. Now, I want to say, it was so funny because you were getting so uncomfortable. I understand. I was trying to be mindful about it. And then there was one time where you and I both knew there was another vagina coming up in this recording.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
auf meiner Audio-Interface und wir sitzen und schauen uns alle für etwa 30 Sekunden an, assuming it's gonna pass and then I unmute it and the second I unmute it literally on the word vagina, to which I looked at you and I said this is out of our control, this is the universe we're not doing anything wrong it'll be interesting though if we find out that Mari is not coming back to us
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I don't know. I'm just going to look like I'm supposed to be posing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
No, I don't think so. Okay. Kind of a weird tease for what we're working on. Not what you would think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
But yeah, it's not an adult fanfiction project or anything like that. So, before you got here, okay, good friend of the show had shared a short film with me, okay, that his good friend did. I'll shout it out. Sam Fox made this very cool, very campy, kind of like B-Horror short film. It's called Fuckin' Nuts, if you want to look it up. It's on YouTube.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
And it's nuck and futz. But it's really fun. It looks awesome. And it's crazy. And I won't give any spoilers away.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
There's nothing sex sex about it though, okay? I'll make that clear. But while I'm watching it, right when the cleaning lady arrived... It was a moment of this film where there were just people making wild noises.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Yes. In the film. Hold on, hold on. I didn't know when the cleaning lady was getting there. I didn't know that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
If she had seen the video matched with the audio, she would be like, oh, he's not watching anything sex-related. But without seeing the video, all she heard was like some crazy noises that she probably thought I was watching something porno-y. But I wasn't.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
I saw someone say on Reddit that they saw someone's face glitch and they were with three other people that saw it too. And I was like, that seems plausible to me. You heard it here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
Also in context that she would understand too completely.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
157 - Cinnamon Roll Ethics
If we never hear from her again. No. She's seen some shit. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? So, like, she also might just be like, that's fucking cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, I don't know. Don't you remember? No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I do think, I will say this. I think that you're more handsome now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Because I like who you've become over the last 10 years and fatherhood.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I'd rather marry the person who I'm like, who you are today.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, shit. Lucky Santa. Okay. And speaking of patrons, we also just recently had our holiday happy hour, which was so much fun. And if anyone wants to check that out, it is the live stream recording is available on patreon.com slash nobody's listening, right? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yes. You need to – a couple things. First of all, go like this with your hair because I think there's a piece that's going to bother you. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I don't know. I think it's just going to – Is it doable? I don't think it's doable. Okay. I think you drink a lot of LaCroix. And I think that LaCroix, I have noticed for me, I don't know if there's science behind this, but carbonated water almost gives you a false sense of feeling quenched.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Where I'll often have a regular ice water after drinking a LaCroix or something. And then I'm like, oh, I wasn't really quenching the thirst.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Well, you already – I also am curious how it would affect your – My bowel movements? Yes. I have to – you know, we have an issue in our house, which is that you can only use the bathroom that's in our bedroom because it has a tushy. I love the tushy. It sprays your butt. I work from our house, or I try to work from our house.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
It is very annoying and hard for me to be working from our living room on the couch or kitchen table. When you are coming in and out of the house, like literally five times in the afternoon, like it's, it's still like, Beep, beep, beep, beep. Coming in the door, walking through, usually... I like to make those sound effects like I'm a robot when I walk by you. No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
It's... I have to say, it's really annoying and...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yeah, when you walk out, you know, you, like, you're mentally moving on to the next thing. You rub your hands together, and your hands are dry, so it makes this, like, very loud.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Go and check it out. And you also will get a bonus episode every month.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Well, listen, uh... It's a frustration, and I don't think you understand how, like, you get to come out to your studio and be tucked away, and there are no interruptions at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Waking up to me taking a dump.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I have my morning's morning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I think it's much more disruptive in terms of career, this five times a day. But I think you should be more hydrated. I actually wonder, because usually those disruptions are, you're going poop 17 times a day or something. You should, I hate that we're talking about this. I'm getting so grossed out. This is our Christmas episode.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I'm just curious to see if it might actually help things in that department.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yeah. Okay. I'll get back to you on it. We should reach out to one of those hydrating electrolyte companies and see if they want to sponsor us. Element.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Well, we should reach out to them and see if they want to do a real life study on you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Have you ever had figgy pudding?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, do you know what I bought? Have you seen it in the fridge? What I bought?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Have you seen anything in the fridge and you went, huh? No. Oh, my life. Christmas.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, no. I did buy that. That's our Christmas go-to on Christmas Day when we put a pound of cheese in our stomachs and then live to regret it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
No, they're not chocolate-covered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yeah, they're kind of like brown sugar chestnuts. Have you ever had a chestnut?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Okay. Because it's a very common thing in New York. They're roasting chestnuts on an open fire.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yes. It's a very Christmas holiday thing. And they were at Trader Joe's packaged, so I'm sure it's a different experience, a different culinary experience. But I thought it was so festive, and I got it, and so I guess the kids and I will try them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Are you more upset about me saying you need to drink more flat, like regular water? Or?
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Okay. What's your problem with the 25, 35, 45?
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Ew. Okay. So here's the thing.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I think I have something called misophonia.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I think I have a mild case. The sound of people eating drives me crazy. Right.
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And another one of them is the sound of hands rubbing together.
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Yes, because it's like the lotion-y sound and the hands together all at once. But you know what? If that's the issue, I mean, I'm sure there are things about me that drive you nuts.
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Not at all. Not at all. You know, last night at the party, I was talking to... We have some... We have some exciting podcasting developments coming up this year. Okay. And did you know about this?
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You just said it like it was news to you. Yes, I did. Okay. But I was talking to some of my very dear friends, and they were talking about how they love how much of a kick I get out of you.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, 100%. I appreciate that. I'm sure you have cons for me. It sounds like my morning's morning is on there and, you know, there are certain things.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I want to move on. Okay. But first, a big thanks to our sponsor, Dipsy. So y'all, it's the holidays and it's time to take a break from the doom scrolling and treat yourself to some me time instead. You know, dip away from the family, go set up shop somewhere where you have privacy and
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
and dive into Dipsy's spicy bite-sized stories that will get you right to the good part so you can escape into a romance whenever you need a break. Whether you're commuting, relaxing, need to unwind, need a break from Uncle John, Dipsy is the perfect escape from the daily grind. So Dipsy is the female-founded app for spicy audiobooks and more. It's curated by women for women and
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
And new chapters are released every week, so you'll always find something new to enjoy. And I absolutely love Dipsy, especially during these somewhat stressful, you would say, times of year where it truly does feel like self-care to go and get into some spicy, fun erotica stories. One of my New Year's resolutions is to lean more into pleasure. And Dipsy definitely offers that.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
So for listeners of the show, Dipsy is offering an extended 30-day free trial. When you go to dipsystories.com slash NLR, that's 30 days of full access for free when you go to D-I-P-S-E-A stories.com slash N-L-R. That's dipsystories.com slash N-L-R. I wanted to speak to you about confidence.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
It is king. Yep. And I think that my confidence in certain areas of my life took a hit this year.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Mainly, you know, I was going to make a joke about like how I have sex, but actually crushing it in that department. No, I'm just kidding. I, you know, career stuff took a hit. I think that's mostly it, I'd say. I would say my confidence grew this year in some areas of my life. Mainly, I feel really confident right now. And maybe it's just because we're in a really good place of parenting.
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Happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. I'm just laughing because you always get mad at me for not acknowledging your Jewish holidays the way that the Anglo-Saxon traditions are often celebrated.
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I also feel like you just said, I mean, we're able to communicate with our kids so clearly. I don't know. I'm feeling good about that. Knock on wood. But I saw this post about confidence and I was talking to one of our children about it. And I wanted to share it with you. Okay. This is 10 things every kid should know about building real confidence.
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And I want to see what you think about this.
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Yeah, let's go through one by one. Okay. One, confidence isn't about being liked by everyone. It's about not fearing being disliked.
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I wish, I mean, this is one of the life lessons that I try to impart to our kids already. And I wish someone had told me this, is not everyone is going to like you. And that's for reasons of their own. And, like, what a loss for them that they don't get to have your friendship or whatever. But that's okay.
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And you're not going to like everyone. And it doesn't have to necessarily be for, like, certain reasons.
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And I don't know. There's such freedom in that. Whereas I grew up working so hard and I'm still fucking doing it. I'm working very hard. If there's someone that I'm like, oh, they don't like me.
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You know, everyone at the party last night, I think, hopefully liked me.
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Again, hopefully. Who cares? The people I care about like me.
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But let's say there was someone that I was like, they don't. care for me i mean i'm like a moth to a flame i'm i see it as a challenge yeah like i'm gonna win you over yeah why why do i do that because i'm not confident because i don't fear not i i i need to not fear being disliked i'll take this a step further of something i feel i've grown to know
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Well, listen, this is a day I get a little sentimental and I was raised Roman Catholic.
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Right. There are different textures to everybody. This is, I mean, it's kind of the beauty of the human experience also. It's like every interaction, every combination of energy is going to feel different. And to take it kind of to an extreme, like every rapist and murderer has people, and I hope we can move past this as a society where people go, he couldn't have done that.
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Because he's my daddy and he loved me. Like, he couldn't have raped and murdered all those people. Well, guess what? Yeah, he did. He was a great father to you. And then he was going out at night in his truck.
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I've never said that before in my life. Roman Catholic. But that is indeed what it is. And I have such conflicted feelings about all of it. And I am pretty anti-religion. I think in large part thanks to you and your views, Andy. But...
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Okay. Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's something you practice every single day.
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Sometimes I'm in awe. You know, people – I recently had a couple of bad days where I talked to you about it. I was like, my reaction to what's happening in the life feels so overblown. And nothing really bad was happening. Oh. Do you remember this? It was like last week.
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I don't know because I'm on birth control. So, I mean, my hormones are pretty level. Usually it is harder to know. I'm in perimenopause, so who knows? We were waiting to hear news on something that, you know, it wasn't health related, everything's fine, but it was like life related. And I think this whole year for me has been waiting to hear news and being hopeful. Yeah.
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And unfortunately, generally speaking, the news that came back was not good news for me career-wise or whatever. And I think it kind of being put in that same feeling sent me over. We also had sick kids. I mean, one emergency room visit. It was, you know, it was a lot. But that experience... I knew I was going dark, and I was very dark. I was like, I could not...
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is kind of like the lowest I've been in a long time. It's almost like everything kind of hit me all at once. I like couldn't, could barely function. This was mostly just over the course of like half a day, but I was, at least I had the awareness of, I am feeling so low that, and so like spun out that, That this does not match the situation we're in at all.
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And like, I just need to ride this out because this is wild. That's good. It reminded me of how fragile we are as humans. And like, if it was hormonal or whatever it was.
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How it. It takes so little for me personally to like lose my grasp that for people and I had a healthy childhood. I had a loving home. I had, you know, of course, everyone has their stuff. But like generally speaking, I was supported and everything.
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given confidence and i am always in awe of people who had abusive childhoods or super traumatized or came from poverty or on and on and on and still have an innate confidence and so this is coming back to it's not something you're born with i think for some people it is i do too um and you have a innate confidence you have a and i think it goes also to like not caring about being liked by everyone you just know who you are and you always have i mean i've known you since you were
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Remember when you forbade me from going to Baha'i service in New York?
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Yes. Yeah. God bless you. Okay. Confidence grows by doing hard things, not avoiding them. When you step up and face challenges, that's where your confidence muscles grow.
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To even distill this, I saw something recently on Instagram, which is my source for most things in life. But it was a guy saying, and this helped me reframe some stuff in our lives. Like, I love having a clean, tidy house. I love knowing where everything is. I love it when like the laundry is done and the dishes are put away and all that stuff, like most people.
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Sometimes I get a little like, oh, I have so much to do or whatever. Yeah. But his whole thing was don't discount the importance of doing these everyday tasks because you don't realize it. But you're getting like hits of dopamine when the laundry is done and put away.
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What if... I mean, what if my entire life trajectory would have been better?
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Yes, all things like that in the home that we take kind of for granted that we just have to do to live. But how, for example, making the bed, I make, you know, we make our bed every day. One of us does.
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And it's... Nothing to me now. It takes three seconds to make the bed or whatever, but having it made feels good. But now I'm like, I appreciate the act of doing it.
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Because the act of doing these things is really good for your brain and it's good for your confidence in little ways. And I can see that with the kids is you give them more independence and more responsibility. You know, our kids, so the bar is so low, but they bring their plates up after meals now generally. Yeah. And you see them excited to do that because it's independence and responsibility.
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Yeah, great. Okay. Four, confidence is built in the trying, not the knowing. You don't have to have all the answers right away.
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I don't even know what... Baha'i, I think, is one of those religions that it doesn't even get a fair chance because it just screams cult, like from tops to butts. But anyway, I miss a mass, like a Christmas mass.
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That doesn't feel confidence. That's just like a life thing to me, you know?
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Confidence comes from stacking little wins.
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You're right. This list is about to completely unravel. Maybe there will be like a real gem. Okay, six. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is part of success.
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Yeah. Seven, speak up for yourself and what you believe in.
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Eight. Okay. This is huge. Huge.
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Be mindful of your self-talk. The way you speak to yourself is everything.
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Do you? Yeah. I didn't know that.
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Well, let's come back to that because that's interesting. But that's why... Okay.
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Nine, your worth isn't attached to your results. That's... No, listen, that's huge. We have, you know, we have a kid who I think is a perfectionist and who wants to be, like, good at... And they kind of are good at a lot of things. And I think it's so important to drive home... But it's a balance because I don't want them to feel like mom and dad aren't in awe of what they accomplish.
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But I don't want their self-worth to be attached to... our reaction to what they're showing us, you know?
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And, you know, I constantly tell them, like, there's nothing that they could do. And this is true. There is absolutely nothing that they could do that would make me love them less.
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None of my love for them has to do with what they achieve or, I mean, it's just baked in, you know?
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But I think that's important. Yeah.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, and the nativity. And listen to our Meg, our Christian listener, who I really appreciate this comment. I am so down with J.C.
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I think you're right. It kind of contradicts some of the earlier ones, which is like keep trying.
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That just reminded me of something. I know we're coming back to self-talk, but this idea of having, like, we all have pots in our life. We have the pot of family. We have the pot of friendships. We have the pot of hobbies. We have the pot of career, things like that. And when your entire life becomes about one pot, for example, career, I think I learned this this year.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
My life had become basically distilled to two pots, which is family and And career.
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And when one of those pots doesn't go your way, and you've made your whole life about that pot... Yeah. The feeling is much more devastating than when you have... And so, you know, this year I'm embarking on a hobby of oil painting, and I'm trying... And in my, like, Mahjong group now, I have a more thriving social life than I've had in a long time. And...
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I am so appreciative of that and those friendships that I'm diversifying my pots in a way that feels very healthy. Love it. Okay. So onward. You don't have to feel confident. Oh, this is interesting. I'm curious what you think of this. This is number?
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Your worth isn't attached to your results.
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Ten. You don't have to feel confident to act confident. It's fake it till you make it.
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That's what I'm going to say. You know, I'm thinking of a lot of people who I don't know personally, but like on Instagram who have this cocky kind of like big dick energy coming at you on Instagram. And you're like, I just know that you are the most insecure human being ever. Which feels dangerous when someone's so insecure. I feel like I can't trust them.
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It's like the guy, I mean, this guy I know of in St. Louis who has built a thriving, successful career telling people how to succeed in business and, But he never – He doesn't have a big business. Well, he does now because he created it to tell people how to do this thing that he had never done before. Right. People love to be told what to do and how to do things.
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I am. I think I'm blown away, though, in the hypocrisy of the people who are his most ardent supporters. And maybe it's like the loud minority, you know, the far right Christian movement in this country. Sure. Because he was a socialist, you know? I don't know. He was all about equality and not judging people. And he's washing the feet of the sex workers who, you know, everyone's shunning.
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And I think there are other people who exploit that or I don't know. I don't have that nature at all to like explain, you know, you're right. I see it a lot in the skincare world and here's what you got to do to your face and here's what you got to do and –
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I admire, I mean, I guess the confidence these people have because I would never be able to tell someone, here's what you do, because I'm constantly going, what else can I do? I'm never like, oh, I figured it out. My face and my, I don't know. It's very interesting. It's weird. Let's talk about self-talk and negativity.
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Well, I think that it's interesting because just in terms of life, I think... You, of course, you've had trauma in different ways and everyone does. But I don't know where this comes from. Like, you have a self-protective negativity. And I would think that my life experience with losing my parents back to back. Yeah.
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Losing my mom, you know, she got cancer and it's not... Like, she was very young, so it's surprising, but it's also not unheard of, of course.
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But losing my dad then 10 months later, also, you know, early 50s, was like... Oh, bad things just are going to happen. And I could very easily have lost any or built a self-protective thing of never expect anything good to happen or, you know what I mean?
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But I don't know your self-protective thing of always like going to worst case scenario.
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Sometimes I feel, I mentioned this recently because we're doing this thing in our lives with like business and money. And that sometimes it's hard to say if I'm always overly optimistic and my expectations are high. Yeah. And I think that makes you really uncomfortable. And you counterbalance that with having extremely low expectations. And that's been a source of tension between us sometimes.
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But yours always seems to come true sometimes. And I'm like, is it not to put this on you, but I'm like, I get scared sometimes when you put out these doomsday scenarios because I almost feel like you're putting it's like you're reverse secreting something.
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There's no – that's where it's just such validation to me that this is like a self-protective thing.
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There's no harm at all in dreaming big and like let's say we're going to run the numbers on something. Why not? It's like you refuse to even plug in something that seems almost like you don't – you wouldn't deserve it or something. Like let's take podcasting for example.
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Noted. He was a foot man. He was a foot man.
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Yeah. Yeah. And you also have like superstitions.
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We can cut this if you want.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Last night, I told people at this party about a project we're working on. And you and I are really excited about it. We're in the like honeymoon phase of cracking open this idea. Yeah. And I get this too. There's something about protecting your ideas. But I feel like maybe in my mind we're further along on this than you are.
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But it made you uncomfortable that I was talking about it openly with people because you're worried that putting it out there will kill it.
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Well, you know what? I honestly, as you're saying it this way, I'm like, I do think that There's truth to that and the energy surrounding a project and an idea. So I'm not against that. I just think my threshold and my kind of superstition around things is way lower. So I'm excited about it. So I'm going to talk about it. But I respect that. Right.
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But I'm so, you know, I do have theories about the whole Virgin Mary thing that we don't need to get into on this here day. But I'm glad he was born. I think he made a big impact. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the impact he made has been twisted and used against the very values he stood for.
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Well, you've said that to me many times this year. And look, we've had...
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challenging year yeah financially very challenging losing my income and you it's so interesting because i would think you are generally the person who's not going to like the high heights of oh we're going to do so well with this endeavor yeah but you also don't go so well sometimes you do but you keep me grounded where when because my threshold is like
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It takes a lot, but once I start to really spiral, I'm like, gone, baby, gone. And you just saying, hey, everything's going to be okay. Yeah. We're going to be okay.
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Does so much for me. Like, it pulls me out of a total hole. And I think that's probably happened like 10 times this year where that you have some sort of kind of solid footing where I can't.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
I feel like maybe we should save this for next week's episode, which is actually New Year's Day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
So let's save that, but I have something to speak to on that, and I love that idea. I'll remember that. Okay, that's good. Well... I hope everyone listening, if you're out there, has very happy holidays.
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Yes, that's so meaningful. I love that.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
New episodes every other week wherever you get your podcasts.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
So I am very excited on this Christmas day to speak with you for an hour as though no one's listening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, my gosh. The Christmas spirit is, I am feeling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
overfloweth of festivity. I went to, unfortunately, you couldn't go because our sitter canceled, but I went to a very fun, intimate Christmas party last night.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
No, no, no. And everyone missed you. And I really missed you. They were like trying out different lights on the Christmas tree because they have the type of lights where you can change it with a clicker.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
And basically everyone's voting on which lights work best on the tree with the ornaments and stuff.
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Well, but they dimmed the lights, and I did say, it's like all of our close friends. And by that point, I think the two people I didn't know well had left, but they seemed lovely. And I said, oh, it's getting sexual. Got a big laugh. So just to your point, yes, it was intimate. And – Big laugh. Big hit. You would have been so proud of me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Curious. Got to know, though. Is anyone out there listening?
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
So anyway, but that party was so fun, you know, very curated.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Who's there, the food, the drinks, the vibe, the music, where we were.
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Now, this is the thing that I feel like at the same person's party, people's party, there was a mixologist a few years ago that basically became the center of conversation for the whole following year about who this mixologist was. Right.
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And what I remember about this mixologist was he was so, there was something special about him. And I feel like he's one of those people who is probably here in Hollywood pursuing acting. It's doing mixology as his gig to get through. Yeah. Can we say bartending?
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Yes, I regret. I'm committed to it now.
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Okay, but he has the look. Now, all of my friends who are actors are incredibly intelligent, like high, high intelligence. But then there are some actors that are just pretty dumb, and they do well. And it's because I think they're able to chameleon more easily. I mean, I envy this. They're not wrapped up in their thoughts about things, and there's a seeming simplicity to them.
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Well, and he is. You know, there are these people, they are genuinely good, good actors.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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No, no, they're not soulless. Don't say that. There's a purity to it almost.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Okay, shut up. Anyway, this bartender had hips. Do you remember this? He had like kind of a womanly figure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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So his appeal, he was like this enigma kind of.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Yes, yes. So anyway, he became the talk of the town. Wasn't there last night. Different person. What kind of person were we working with?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
lovely um gal gal gal mousy oh my god yes yeah i just knew you didn't want to say it because some people find that as a pejorative i don't what i didn't even know these words coming out of your mouth pejorative i'm just in tune uh anyway so festive all around love it yes i love it as well Thanks to Dipsy for supporting Nobody's Listening Right.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
It sure does, yeah. Our patron Saint Monica, who... She is a patron as well. Who, just in case there are two people out there who don't know who Saint Monica is, we're speaking of the glorious Monica Padman from Armchair Expert, who has boosted our show up. So...
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Dipsy is an app that has over 1,000 spicy audiobooks. They bring scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes and realistic characters. Discover stories about second-chance romances, adventurous vacation flings, and hot and heavy hookups. Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash NLR. That's dipsystories.com slash NLR.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Decent question. But this is really... I can handle anything. Can you?
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
But this is so dangerous, Andy. No, it's not. If I did this to you, I could not handle what the outcome was, no matter how you slice it. It's a lose-lose situation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
No. Well, the one I'm going to kill is 25-year-old you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Okay. Okay. I'm going to marry 45-year-old you, and I'm going to fuck 35-year-old you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Well, actually, you know, I wasn't really thinking about it in terms of if I married you at 35, then I'd be married to you longer. You can think about it in any way that you want. I was thinking of who you are at this time. Yeah, yeah, totally. And it's hard imagining not marrying you now.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
And I just want answers. I shouldn't have answered.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Look, we'll have been married this year, coming up pretty soon, 17 years. Yeah.
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
are really mean when they're together as a group but actually they're pretty sweet if you're with them one-on-one what a great observation god they're so i feel like kids today and especially this kid so emotionally intelligent like i would never be able to formulate that observation i don't think anyway go ahead that was it Well, but how'd she get to, are you, were you a bad boy?
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148- Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah 2024
Oh, they're seen as bad boys.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
But what was very cool was they were not stick skinny waifs the way we were taught we had to be to be successful dancers back then. They're strong and gorgeous and their strength was really inspiring. And so after the hot tubbing, I was like, well, maybe... I don't want to fall back into diet culture, even though it is very seductive.
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So maybe it's also part of keeping the magic alive for everyone. Yeah.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I don't really want to get into restricting and all of this stuff. But what I think might be great for me and a mindset shift and something I've never really pursued is seriously building strength, lifting weights.
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And eating more protein and doing the whole thing.
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No, it was better when you were like doing stuff about it. But lately I have noticed and I swear to God, it's not an aesthetic thing. I think you were very sexy. And, you know, when what you saw, I genuinely in the hot tub was admiring you.
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This is more because I know what, like, this kind of old man posture where your head's forward. And, of course, it's like that. You're at your computer all day. Like, this is how you operate. Basically, I know from my back stuff, it's like top down. It's going to fuck up your knees. It's going to fuck up your back. And it's just... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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I had a couple of agendas. One is I don't really know how to get to it. Two, I think if we made this part of our daily routine together, I would be more likely to do it.
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And it's just more fun doing things with you.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I've been fed so much stuff that I'm, like, trying to parse out what... What is actually beneficial for me? What can I commit to? What will make me feel good and what will not make me slip into this feeling of like feeling bad about myself?
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I don't know. It seems very weird. But yeah, I put that in my vagina.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I'm working on me. I am working on me. A couple things I want to do. One is I want to... I've been feeling a little like, I'm going to be real real. I've been feeling, I guess it's depression, but I'm like taking my depression medication, but I'm feeling a little like not wanting to do anything. Yeah. Not wanting, you know, when I see my friends, it's really fun and it's great.
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When I go to Pilates, it's great. But, like, just lacking motivation in general. Yeah. Lacking all creative motivation, actually, until very recently. Now I actually just got a spark back, which is very exciting. But I want to, like, learn new things. And one of the things that I am going to do, you know we have a chip on our bathtub, right?
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I'm going to take it upon myself and watch YouTube videos.
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And it might lead to me reno-ing our bathroom. But I need something to be excited about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
What I want is to take a class that's closer by that's a weekly class where that's my time, kind of. And I have someone telling me what the fuck to do because oil painting is kind of complicated. Got it. It's also very messy. We don't really have a place for an easel. I just want it to be something that I do in a class, which is fine.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
You know what happened is your weight while we've been sleeping has just been crawling over to me and hopping into me.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
So it sounds like our weights thing might be a me thing.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I do. You know, I went to Pilates and I was shaking. I feel alive today.
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Like the cells have kicked in in a way. It really does make a difference, I think.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Oh, well, that's okay. I thought I was like, surely you're playing every week for like three hours.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Honestly, it's a problem with their new mattress. I just want to stay in there all the live long day.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And boy, oh boy, it's worth it. You know, you spend a third of your life in bed or something like that. If you're me, it's more like, you know, half.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
That's what we're going to get for one of our kids who's a hot sleeper.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Also, you can sleep on your mattress for up to 120 nights. Now, if you don't love it the way we love ours, they will help you return it or pick out a different one. So they really stand behind their product. And you can go to...
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Andy, do you know what sponsor I am loving right now?
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Our friends at OneSkin. Yes. The incredible team over there has made a scientifically proven product using their OS1 peptide. And I love this stuff so much. Put a little dab, a little dab will do you. And you just rub it on.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And you know it's working. And truly, no joke, my skin, when I put this on at night, I wake up feeling more moisturized. It gives me a little pep in my stomach.
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The data is in. This stuff works. It's amazing. I'm not surprised. It was founded by an all-women team of scientists with PhDs in skin regeneration, stem cell biology, and bioinformatics. Now, if that doesn't scream they know their stuff, I don't know what does. So on top of their incredible skincare products, they now have a new product which is OS1 Hair.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And if anyone else out there like me is maybe experiencing some hair loss and wants some fuller, thicker, more luxurious hair, I highly recommend you check this out. It's OS1 Hair. And it's a daily scalp serum that tackles the same zombie cells that their skin products do, where it basically, there are these little jerk cells, okay, who are taking their buzz kills at the party.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And this peptide gets rid of them. So the party can keep on going. Another thing I love about this company is everything is backed up. You can go on their website and find all of the studies they've done. Find the science that is backing it all up, which I love because there's so much confusing stuff out there. And this is the real deal. So one skin.
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is redefining the aging process with their proprietary OS1 peptide. Get 15% off with code NLR at oneskin.co. That's 15% off at oneskin.co with code NLR. So you'll go to oneskin.co. After you purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Please support our show. And also please get me on their good side because I really want these cool ladies to think I'm cool.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Tell them we sent you with our code NLR and invest in the health and longevity of your skin and scalp with OneSkin.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Your future self will thank you. That's OneSkin.co with code NLR. So this morning, going to Pilates, the aforementioned class, which is the only thing I've done, so it's all I'm talking about. I got into the car, and Dave Matthews' band, Crash Into Me, was playing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
It really made my day. It made me feel like very, you know, thought of.
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But wouldn't you say in the 20 plus years we've been together, I'm not ever listening to Dave Matthews.
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It is in my soul. It is in my soul. And there's something, that song I found so sexy when I was like 16 or whatever. And hearing it today, I'm like, I see why.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Well, he's one, he's like one of the few, I mean, you look like him a lot in some ways.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Remember, whose birthday were we at where he sent a video message to you?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I know. I hope he's okay. But you did kind of... He looks like an older you.
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Anywho, I find him very sexy. I think his voice is really great. And I love his music. So it set my day. Not only was I like, I get to have this blast from the past, but I was thinking back to... Speaking to me feeling a little kind of, it's not even down. I'm not down. I'm just kind of feeling a little down.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Okay. I have an update. Do you remember how I was talking about how I went to Tai Chi and it felt kind of yucky?
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detached i guess maybe sure but i still like being with the kids you know they're cracking me up it's not like i'm not having feelings i can't even explain it but anyway thinking back to me listening to dave matthews and i would say it was an era like high school going into college maybe a little bit after college and then it kind of faded from my life but what would that person think of me now oh i think they'd be pretty cool with you
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I think that I would go, oh, my gosh. Well, first of all, I'm married to Andy Rosen. Awesome. Second of all, like your life is so full and rich and you do creative things. You have hysterical friends. You, you know, like have incredible kids who you love hanging out with.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
We've had two Volvo SUVs, one electric, one old school.
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And neither of us use them because we're home 24 hours a day and we're trying to be smarter financially. And it was literally painful every month paying our leases, knowing that neither of them were getting used whatsoever. And we looked into me turning in my lease a year early and it was like going to be many, many, many thousands of dollars. Yeah, it was like eight grand or something.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I don't know. Okay, keep it in. Dude, the Tai Chi yoga place was it, and then she names the exact name of the exact place I went to.
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the tariffs come out. And I think, and I actually happened to be taking my car in for like a service that day. So I was in Volvo land and I was like, I wonder if they really want to get used, slightly used cars right now. And so I called and they were like, yeah, bring it in. Nothing. It saved us like $10,000. Yeah.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Well, I learned that the very next night you took the kids out. I was going to go meet up with friends for dinner. And I was like, going to go out to my car and get into it and drive to dinner. And sure enough, there was no car there.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I get a lot of like... What does that mean? I wouldn't say so at all. Our daughter wants like Vampire Weekend, Paramore.
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What are some of the older bands? Like she was asking to play Blondie...
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And then her son wants to listen to CG5. Yeah. That's neither of our taste.
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Yeah. Yeah. It's tough, but we have to be, you know, you need to be careful because I put on Counting Crows the other day and you go, ugh. The guy doesn't know how to rhyme.
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all three of us other rosins were like you know well teddy was like why did you make that expression and i said daddy's being a judgmental jerk because he thinks that and you said he can't rhyme you turned off talking heads you could you could only get through half of a talking head song and then you had to revert to counting crows no jump forward
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Yeah. If so, it is a cult. I was pulled into it in my early 20s. I did all their programs and finally stopped going when they asked me to sign a contract that my soul would live. What? Hang on. At a Jupiter tree. Juniper. Juniper. Sorry, forgive me. A juniper tree at their compound in Arizona after I pass the classes. I knew it was a cult, but it took this weird contract for me to finally run.
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Well, let's set some good examples for our kids that any music that anyone likes to like is fine. You know, like we need to be, you're a music person. Like, don't be a music snob.
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This dumb bitch, I slapped her and then I fucked her and kicked her out of the car.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Wow, very cool. But I haven't... Thank you for telling us that. You let curse words live in your car? By the way, the other day when we were shopping... I think I texted you this.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
We were, I forget where we were. I guess we were in.
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I'm so annoyed. We were in Uniqlo, I think, and I said something about, like, I need to get a T-shirt.
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And Otis goes, that's a buttload of t-shirts. And I said, did you just say buttload? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, you know, I was smiling because it was funny to me, but I was like, you might not want to throw around buttload, bud.
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And I hope he... He has such a fine-tuned sense of humor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Yes, his timing is impeccable. Okay, we're in spring break.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I know it doesn't. But, you know, we have some big plans for summer that we're trying to... Mm-hmm.
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muster muster um so i wanted to ask you like do you have fond memories of spring break what were the spring breaks of your oh yeah your like classic road trip to florida that was a big one right how many times did you do that probably a bunch and where'd you go white trash riviera sarasota was a big one great
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Think about now. Okay. Now that we're parents and it was probably at these ages.
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Like, all right, kids, we're going to pack up the minivan and drive for two days straight.
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Well, of course. You were the kid. I loved it, too. But-
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Well, what made it road trip culture for you? I mean, we did – I would oftentimes ride down with the Cotezas with, like, Kendall. Or we'd kind of car hop as we went. So that was really fun, like, being in the car with your friends. And we were in the, like, backseat of a minivan and had –
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Crafts that we were doing and doing games out the window of license plates and doing the alphabet and make-believe stuff. No tablets, obviously, no phones. So it was just playing Paul Abdul and eating tons of junk food. Yeah.
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And I said, oh my God, that is the place. Holy shit. And then she said, seriously, run. They are evil. Do not go back. They tell you it's Tai Chi, but it's all bullshit. It's some weird exercise of their own invention. Which I did think it was weird. Remember how I talked about how I had her move her hands off of her son's private area?
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Well, even that I also have to say as a parent, I'm like, so you drive for two days. You're listening to, you know, kids. I have to go to the bathroom. Can I have some da-da-da? Then we get to the hotel. It's like, let's go to the arcade. I mean, it just sounds not fun.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Oh, I'd be into that. Okay. Yeah. It's a, it's an eight hour drive.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
So that would be fun. Did you ever get in trouble on spring break?
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Well, I think that you went... I went to like... We would go to Destin. Destin is our destiny. And it would be a lot of families from St. Louis. This is when I was like 13, 14. But yeah, we'd go out on the beach and like drink and smoke and...
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Yeah. So in Destin, when I think I was 14 and there were like, you know, you ran into your friend on the beach. That's where I ran into like a friend of a friend was there with my friend Catherine, who I had met for the first time during this trip. And Catherine came to my mom's Oscar party that she had every year. Usually it fell on spring break. And my mom was talking to her.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I was like, I've never come across that. And I mean, it's not like I've done real deep Tai Chi dives.
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She had moved to St. Louis from Tupelo, Mississippi at the same year we had moved from San Francisco. And it turns out her mom was one of my mom's best friends in high school in Florida. And they bought a house that, like, my parents had looked at in St. Louis. So we're in Destin. This random little girl comes to my mom's party with my other friend.
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And it turns out—and then my mom—I mean, I could cry. My mom and Brenda, her mom— rekindled their best friendship and remained best friends until my mom died.
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Destiny and Dustin. And like they would go on trips together my senior year when my dad wasn't living there because he was commuting. And my mom was kind of like on a cruise. She was gone a lot that year while Brenda was with her. They would travel a lot and had a grand old time and loved each other very much. And Catherine and I became really close until kind of
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
We went to different high schools and kind of just went our separate ways. But I have so much love in my heart for her, and that was very magical. And also, my mom found a six-pack of Zima in my closet. And I definitely threw some other kids under the bus. And was like, oh, they wanted me. I didn't even know what it was. They wanted me to hang on to it to take it down to the beach later. Nice.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
But you mostly just see people standing up and kind of moving really slowly and stuff. And I thought that was weird.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Yes. And then I also got fingered for the first time on the sandy beaches of Destin, which I would not recommend getting fingered where there's sand. Right.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Well, luckily, I mean, the sand in Destin, it's a double-edged sword because it's fine. It's that fine, white, beautiful sand.
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Well, it is to, like, lay on, but it's hard to get out of places. I mean, it's... And it was so awkward, like so, God, all the fumbling first sexual experiences. Ugh.
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I'm so excited to chat with you for an hour as though no one's listening.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I wanted a man who knew what he was doing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
No, I'm not. B. Yeah. How have I never heard about B. I don't know.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
He was a year or two years older than me.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
No, of course he is. We were all like, he was probably 15. I mean, we were just babies.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I'm not going to say any more things about any of this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Yes, yes. He's a great guy, you know, really nice.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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This is weird to me. It kind of breaks my heart a little bit that you kept in touch with some other f***ing piece of s***. Nobody's listening, right? Hi, Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Stop it. Wait, what were you saying before? I feel like I had something. I also got the sickest I have been from food poisoning or stomach in dust. Not during that experience, but in dustin.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I might have also had, like, sun poisoning.
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But my mom was so good at taking care of me when I was sick. But I remember we had this condo, and it had, like, spiral metal stairs up to kind of a loft area, which is where I was sleeping. And luckily, there was a bathroom up there. But that was the only time in my life where it was, like, both ends were going. Yeah. And I needed accommodations to deal with that.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I'll do that. I'll do that. I think I found some that are like at a park. Which is more my speed anyway. But this is really interesting because today at Pilates, I got a butt pat from my favorite teacher. And I was so happy. This is not your first butt pat. Is this your second butt pat? No, no, this is my second. The first one, I didn't know how to feel about it.
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Well, just like a wastebasket, basically.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
You were so sick you went to the hospital.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Oh, God, you poor little thing. Yeah, I think a ham sandwich from a truck stop is a 50-50 chance that you're going to the hospital.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Processed ham is generally considered more dangerous than mayonnaise from a health perspective.
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Oh, wait, this is just for your body. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Processed ham is generally considered more dangerous than mayo in terms of food poisoning risk. Processed ham, what if we're changing, I mean, your whole family, you should alert them. It wasn't the mayo. Processed ham can be a source of harmful bacteria like listeria.
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While commercially produced mayo is acidified, which helps prevent bacterial growth.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Wait, you mean at a deli where they're slicing it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Once you open that ham hock, the plastic, you got the timer starts and you have seven days.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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You probably want the ones that are more full.
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But now all I know is it's a badge of honor. And I love this teacher. And to get the butt pat feels great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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No, it's, I think a meat that has like bits of olive in it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Do you not like them? Like, I thought you were maybe coming around to them recently.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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By the way, you asked if I ever went on a real spring break. I mean, first of all, my entire sophomore year of college was spring break because I went to UC Santa Barbara.
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Partying nonstop. My parents, you know, were dropping like flies. One dead, the other dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so I was in this weird thing because my parents' house was in Pasadena. So I was like going back and forth between Pasadena and Santa Barbara. When my mom was sick, I was in Pasadena more going back. And then I'd go back to Santa Barbara and like do ecstasy and party. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I feel like we're kind of free-balling today.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And I was going to class and stuff. Did you do a Cancun Cozumel type thing? Went to Cabo.
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My sophomore. I guess that was my sophomore year. I don't know. Oh, maybe it was my junior year, which was my last year of college. Because guess who I met there? In Cabo San Lucas, probably at like Senior Frogs or Senior whoever party.
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um the young man from baton rouge oh right yeah you constantly yeah you say because that's where we met and hooked up he had never seen a thong before he was like blown away that i was wearing a thong and then you're just rocking a thong on the beach No, no, no. Like when we were... Oh, like thong underwear. Yes. Got it. And then we made plans for him to come.
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Now, this guy, I have to say, endured me going like, oh, my mom had just died. And I was still very much in the like, my mom just died phase of things. I'm sure I told him that in Cabo. And then... Kept in contact with me somehow going, oh, by the way, my dad also just died. Still was planning to come out and visit me. I mean, I guess that thong really made an impression. He wanted to be.
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With some little bitches who can't handle it.
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And he came out and he's the one driving home from the airport. He said, Lizzie, you're the best female driver I've ever seen. Amen.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Oh, I was dating someone new. I was dating a guy I didn't even really like that much. But at the time, I thought I did. And he was moving in with me. And I was like, don't come because I'm with someone. We're dating seriously. He still came. And he still thought we would maybe hook up.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Well, you're doing Pilates. It's on a reformer.
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But were you in a relationship? This is confusing to me because when you left for Idaho, you left St. Louis, was when I had the biggest crush on you. We signed each other's yearbooks like you're frosty soulmate. I was so into you.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
I know you weren't into me like that back then.
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And I had, so it's on this machine. My foot is in a strap that's connected to the other side of the machine. And you're doing like the leg up. So it's a butt burner. It's a butt burner. And she was kind of straightening my hips because what you want to do is lean to the side that you're working, which feels unnatural.
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I don't know. This is weird to me that we're 21 years in to this.
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You left Idaho, I thought, outside of your guy friends, you were like, you know, all done, like finished. Mm-hmm. It kind of breaks my heart a little bit that you kept in touch with some other fucking piece of shit bitch.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And your mom was like, sure, she can come visit. Did she stay with you?
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And she came to visit you? I think so. Okay. Who?
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Are you serious? Yeah. St. Louis. She's a financial advisor. Really?
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saying it's a man but it might just be all financial advisors are referred to as he him in st louis okay are any of these women no she no did you and her hook up i think we like made out you did yeah you didn't have a girlfriend
Nobody's Listening, Right?
165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And you want to straighten your hips out. And she was helping guide them.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
While I'm doing the back and forth, back and forth.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
And then, sure enough, at the end, it's like when she's moving on, she gave my butt a little do-do.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
That is not true, but I want to circle back to that. First of all, is anyone listening?
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What do you want? Some sort of crazy spank?
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Yes. Bye-bye. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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There was a good job in it. I promise you. How dare you?
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Really cool. I mean, she's a cool chick. She's like young and hip and she always has cool nails.
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No, I was so happy. Anyway, that happened.
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It's just interesting how vibes are everything. And that's my new life motto. Okay, question. Vibes are everything because at the Tai Chi place, now granted it was my kid. Yeah.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
No, but it is interesting. Like, this woman laid her hands on me in a way that maybe some would deem inappropriate.
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No, no, no. And she knows, like, I've been going to her class for years. You know, we have a rapport.
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Please. I think of all the asses there, mine is the least... Worthy of staring, but she like, you know, she knows me. She got she gets a sense of my personality. But in the Tai Chi place, let's take the the kid part out of it. She also had her hands on me long before she laid hands. I had bad vibes.
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And so I was already like, my defenses were up and I was like, I'm uncomfortable. And like going through the mental gymnastics of like, at what point do I say something? Like, you know, how do I get out of doing all of that stuff? Whereas this case, it was just like, yes, I shook today in class.
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I do think it was afterwards. It's not like she did the good job, Pat.
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Is he like very blatantly gay? no ambiguous no you not for you no and i think not yeah no and i'm sure that sort of thing happens all the time but the holding the hips he could probably a male teacher could do that to you if done the right way right yeah i think male teachers need to know what the boundaries are pretty clearly like there might be some you know you see in like
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
White Lotus-y situations where all the women are wanting that from the hot young male yoga teacher.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
We went hot tubbing. We just like got in the hot tub.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Okay, I think I'm wrong. But when someone says we went hot tubbing, I imagine there are multiple hot tubs.
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Yeah, I guess I've never thought about it. But speaking of, most hot tubs are gross. I won't get into a public... And your sister's is vile.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
No, hers is incredible. And I know they keep it right and tight, but like my friend got a full body rash once. Do you remember this when we were living in New York?
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She went away and like it stayed with her and they couldn't figure out what was going on. And it was from the hot tub.
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I mean, I think you can get a staph infection from hot tubs.
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It's the staphylococcus bacteria that gets into your bloodstream and creates a horrific infection.
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It's also like how, you know, they like things hot.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Oh, this is my worst nightmare, by the way. You know, I've put on a few pounds recently. Have you noticed?
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That's because you see me every day, probably.
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Nothing crazy, but I'm 5'4", so a few pounds feels different. My clothes feel different. And this is the first time I put on a swimsuit in a while.
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Well, that's probably why. I mean, I think women do take a lot longer to look at themselves. And I have to say, like a day at Disney, no one's looking their best. You better get those pictures early. And I don't know, the only days I've had at Disney, if I were to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it would tank my mood.
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To the degree that I was like not even wanting to get out and sit out even though I was baking. When we were done tubbing, my face was like a tomato red. Like I think I overheated. Oh, that was it. Yeah, you were making... And it's because I... I felt insecure to like sit out, which is so stupid. I'm with my family. Like no one cares.
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But it was more just me not feeling good in my skin, which I, it bums me out. Am I ever going to just like love myself? And I don't think so.
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Well, I don't know. You've known me for 21 years. I think there have been pockets of time where I've either really done the work and I'm feeling comfortable in my skin. But by and large, it's been a frustrating process.
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It's always changing. You know, after kids, it changes. Now perimenopause or whatever, getting older, going through back surgery, all this stuff changes a lot. And I want to just accept it and love it. But it's very hard for me.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Yes. Oh, my gosh. But you are bravely facing a wall of mirrors.
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165 - Body Issues And Butt Pats
Well, speaking of, this is interesting, because was it before this or after?
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Well, I hope that what I just shared with you, that I was basically willing to boil myself cooked because of the insecurities of my body. My sister, while we were there, showed me some dancers, and it was very cool because basically it was watching these routines of these dancers and being like, dancers are so much better than when we were competitively dancing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. That's my first like gun threat.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. And then I did. So I did say to the guy helping me, I was like, well, this makes for a pretty scary. Interesting morning for you here. And he's like, yeah. And I was like, or maybe not. And then he just kind of smiled because I don't know how crazy like they were so calm. Is this just an everyday thing?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, there needs to be a sign on the door. Do not assume any respect when you walk into this place.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Now, I do want to say, just because as we've learned, these things might get back to the corporation. I actually don't think this was at the same store that you got your drums at.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No. That is – you're speaking of the flagship store, which I do think – We've heard actually from some friends is like more of a right and tight situation being the flagship store.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
So corporate, if you're listening, I don't think this was the flagship store.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And also corporate, if you're listening, your employees did nothing wrong.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I think so. How do you deal with those kind of people?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I think I was going to say, like, what are you supposed to do when people are really escalating?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And I think there was a bit of that. And I bet there was even more of that before I really figured out what was going on. And I think you get diminishing returns once you realize the person might have some issues going on. And it's being basically belligerent, right?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Because I'm becoming jaded. There was like a crazy gun thing near us lately. Now the guns are... There's just like violence constantly around us that I... I say it with disappointment like, I am getting sort of jaded.
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Our marriage is holding on as a fucking thread right now.
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I felt... This is what I felt. I felt very... glad that I had not brought the kids there, which maybe it was a gift because the last time they said, we don't ever want to come here. So I have in my mind, I won't ever take them to Guitar Center. Maybe that was a gift because this happened. Of course, yes. But it made me very bummed that I could...
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take my daughter to a place to get something that she would want so bad for a hobby she enjoys so much, and that's something like this, a gun threat would happen.
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wait andy i do want to talk about something having to do with that yeah maybe the further we get into this let's see how this episode goes oh so not right now not right now okay i need to tell you something i probably should have already told you and then i realized i hadn't and then i thought i'll wait one day okay i had something fucking crazy happen to me at guitar center
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I saw this go down in real time.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Watching you do this yesterday, you were a kid in the candy store on this website like I haven't seen in a long time.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I thought it was hilarious.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, that's a good point, though.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
We have to circle back on sharing a room after this.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
So you're out of town this weekend.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
It was like a fifth grade sleepover?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Everybody else had, like, mushroom chocolates, cocaine.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, you guys wanted to be on tip-top point for your game. Tip-top point for Mahjong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then it was going to be our daughter's birthday. I was picking up a few last-minute present things. And I was buying her a guitar pedal tuner at Guitar Center and some little knickknacks.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I think people that's how people see you in there. I sort of you're kind of the country cottage trashy friend in the group. Do you know what I mean? You're the girl that would bring Cherry Coke, Haribo. And what else did you bring?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
In which way? I'm a little... Give them one example.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You got it. So I head over to Guitar Center, roll in around 11.30 a.m. I go to the counter. I ask which pedal tuners they have. I had my eye on two. They only had one of them. Great. He says, let me see if we have it in stock. I'll go get it. So I'm engaged with the man, the... Employee. Yes. They're going to get my stuff. I'm already in it.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Can I ask who was in charge of that in no shade? But it was a little janky.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, I'm glad I brought it up because I didn't know that. And I was just a little like...
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You're dealing with your lactose intolerant issues or whatnot.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
you were gonna play that many more games?
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Yes, I see that. Why weren't you just doing more... Why wasn't just everyone always playing? You had two tables, so that's what I don't understand.
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Well, I tried to do that like when we played Settlers of Catan recently.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
What? I don't cheat in games.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Oh, you're full of shit. All right, continue with your story, please.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. You leave with a four game.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yes. Thinking, I'm assuming, you're going to get smoked. Right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Now, during this time, I don't really notice anything going on, but I hear a few hoots and hollers, I would describe them as.
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How could you not lose? Right. That would be my assumption.
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For you, you are a champion.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, that makes sense. That's great.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I was going to say that. So the last time I saw her in person, her and I were sitting next to each other because we were relegated to like the, I don't know what you would call this. No man's.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
We were cast offs because everybody wanted to play Mahjong except the two of us. At a holiday party. And like one other husband. It was like the three of us. And she seemingly was like, I have no interest in this game at that point.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
How many games did you won? Eight or nine? Eight. Eight. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No, this is actually going to make you, like, really uncomfortable.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I don't have a concept of that, but it takes you long.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, well, because all of you learned from a sole other person. So that was, to me, the glaring thing that like, oh.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
There's a level, there's a angle of the game that you guys weren't taught.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Oh, God. Okay, it wasn't what I deemed to be a scary hoot and holler.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But you weren't there, though. I would understand if you were there, you were.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You know, sorry to sidetrack real fast, but probably more people have died at the mahjong table than playing tennis. Oddly enough.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Just because the age and demographics.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No, it seemed more like maybe a customer. But weird shit's going on at Guitar Center, and also there's people shredding in there. There's loud noises. It's just a weird place.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But that means to me, sorry, Kulop, you won. Kulop had a whole other 24 days of games.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Just in how she held herself in her wins?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad that you're learning to have fun a little bit talking shit in these competitive things.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Okay. Rooming with Danielle.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
All right. That brings me to something I want to mention to you. I went... Okay. Yes. Okay. And I ask him about the tent situation. Oh. So it's three guys that are going on this trip, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
It's three really close friends.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, and there's people that want attention in Guitar Center, too.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
That don't see each other all that often, but they're like very close.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Going on this thing. And one of the guys of the group, I think this might be of note, doesn't normally do this. So he's like a newer hiker camper.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
The other guy is very seasoned.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And I say, so who's carrying the tent? You bring in a three-man tent? And our buddy looks at me like I asked the dumbest fucking question ever. And he's like, are you serious? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, no, we each have our own tent. Wow. And I was like, really? And then I'm with another guy, too. There's two guys. And they're both now kind of like –
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, no, we're going to spend all day hiking together and then sleep in the same thing together. And I'm like, am I just that needy? I was like, well, who are you going to chat with? You know, like, what are you going to do once you get in your tent? That's fucking boring.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But see, this is something that I realized is sort of different about me. If I was invited on this trip, I don't think I would realize upon invitation that I would be sleeping alone. And I'd be fine sleeping alone. I would bring my own tent. But to me in my mind, I'm like, these are best friends.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But we were younger, and also there were bigger groups of people going.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Then, as I'm still engaged with the employee, waiting on getting my stuff, it becomes more clear what's going on. There is a woman... losing her fucking mind about no one's helped her, right? And for starters, I'm like, have you ever been to a fucking guitar center, lady?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I understand that much more than the tent thing. I kind of think I do prefer own hotel room.
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We're carrying this structure with us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, it's not like I'm worried about – it's not that I don't want to carry the tent, if that's what you're thinking.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Maybe that's part of it. Okay. I don't know. Interesting. It just struck me how I was on the wrong side of things. You know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I mean, it's not like this is a turd I would be that embarrassed of stepping in if it happens down the road.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Maybe that's more of an emergency room situation, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Quick question. If we get strep throat, which someone else in our house is going to get.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Would we go there as opposed to driving all the way to our doctor?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Our doctor's not next to us. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Also, now, listen, I know people of all ages can get mono. But yeah, it does seem pretty random after you're testing for strep, unless strep goes hand in hand with mono. But yeah, this is odd. This feels odd.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. Sounds like this provider's under the thumb of Big Mono, if you know what I mean.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You have to shake an employee and be like, please help me. I want to buy something. Yes. But so then she's going on this rant. I have lots of money. I came here to buy stuff.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Or maybe performing at Ren Faire? Or is that too hippie-y?
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
My mind's going that the other alternative is him being like, you guys, I'm freezing in here. Do you have anything? And he makes such a big deal of it that they find this thing. They're like, we have this weird.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. At this point, she's now come to the main section where I'm at the main checkout, like, square, if you will.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Going... What bad information is he going to get?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I have scary things to tell you.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
The vest is what's throwing me in this whole situation.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And so I'm like, oh, this is what was making that noise. I also realized.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But that it has the logo of the place. That's where I'm like, and it's so dirty that he's had this vest for a while.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Oh, that could be. Yeah. And he came to this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
This is probably not fair to say, but just hearing the story, it makes me think, oh, it would make sense that the nurses at these facilities are great because whether they're trying to get more hours for their certification, any of this, they're maybe putting in an extra initiative and like, oh, I'll put in hours at this urgent care, this, this, this.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And whereas the doctors might have been more of doctors that have been maybe pushed aside from the more traditional hospital and general practice settings potentially. It does raise it. And that's how they have entered this area. Maybe. I don't know.
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160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
That she is either, like, hammered, drunk, or has some serious mental issues.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Right. But I do think there's also doctors that are like, oh, and one day a week I work in an urgent care. And it is like a giving back to, like, anyways, it's probably all across the board.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But if he's still there, I kind of want to go just because I want to get my eyes on this guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, that guy left thinking he has mono. That poor jaundiced guy has mono.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Again, but you're making, like, a really good point. None of this at this point in time is, like, outside of the bounds. The last time I took the kids to this particular guitar center... They're like, I don't like this place at all. And they couldn't be more stoked on getting the things that Guitar Center has.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And what kickback is this fucking weird doctor getting from the mono test?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
It makes a lot of sense. Do you know, so... You were being taken care of, like...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Maybe a little bit in like the middle of the day. Okay. I'm going to be real. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Just because lately I feel like the – A thing that's been coming up a lot is us like throwing things out and whether we were justified to throw them out prematurely or whatnot.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I have a case for you that I want to ask you about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I took our daughter snowboarding the previous weekend and we are suntan lotioning up before we get on the mountain. And it turns out I left the suntan lotion on top of the car. Okay. So we get back from snowboarding. I go to open up the door and it's like, oh shit, I left the suntan lotion on top of the car. And it also had exploded a little bit. And so it's, you know, whatevering is coming out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
The suntan lotion is easing out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Great question, because you want to know how expensive the lotion was, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
White cream, probably like a $10 bottle of sports suntan lotion, Coppertone or I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
It's like a sport one and splooging out of the thing. Do you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I don't know what the other word for that is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
What would you have done with that? Is that a keeper or is that a throw in the trasher?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Right. My brain did go to, okay, and this might all be justification to throw it out, but it was like, okay, it has been out all day in the sun so much so that it kind of exploded. Did that mess up the chemical balance inside?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then if I'm really honest, my brain, my fucking weird brain is also like, what if someone else used it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Or what if someone else tampered with it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
The odds have to be so small for it being tampered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I have one more quick ski thing that I want to ask you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
When we went, the weather was super, super sunny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But it was a cold day. Oh. But on the bottom of the mountain, you might get hot, right? But then as soon as you're on that chairlift going to the way top, you're cold. Sure. Now, we noticed there were, like, three teenage guys that had their shirts completely off. Now, that's something you see, like, end of, like, season, spring, you know, late April if the mountains still open.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No shirt at all. And also, this is, like, I think a little jarring for our daughter also.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Right? We're behind these guys.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Right. I think there is a time and a place, but it's in the spring, and it's like, is there some event where they're trying to, like, snowboard over the lake? You know what I'm saying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, I almost wonder if you need to tell it now because this is wild.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Right. So we see the guys because we're like two rows behind them in line for, you know, 20 minutes in this line. So and it never even we never even spoke of it, you know, but I could see her whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Then two runs later, we're coming down the mountain and I look up and I see them on the chair towards the top and they look like they're freezing their ass off.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And I think to myself, you dumb fucks, right? And I'm kind of getting a little joy out of it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
But then I had this thought like, you know what, though? For as much pain that they're in, there's two types of people that would do this. If this is what they do all the time, fuck these guys. This is just so dumb. But if this was a one-off thing, I had the thought, they will talk about this forever. It is a bonding thing that they will be able to reminisce about forever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
He lost a nipple that day because they had a crash or something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And now they're just going to talk about this forever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I love that other angle with the kid because, yeah, at dinner tonight, they're going to be telling my uncle that we had our shirts off and he's going to be like, what the fuck? Now, last thing. Yeah. If you had to lose a nipple or your pinky toe in a skiing accident.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Mm-hmm. I might go with that too, though. The pain seems like it would be.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
So if you were ever in some scenario where you're being tortured and they're like, if you don't fucking tell us, we're going to cut you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Hey, shut the fuck up for a second because your wiki feet might take a plunge with this kind of talk. And you do have incredible feet. You do have incredible feet.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
So I think it's weird that you're even saying this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Wait, I don't get the, like, pass to make the jokes now after you've made them a million times?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Or unless that's an angle that people really like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
We have to do some cost analysis on that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah, this was from N. Baker N. Baker. Regulars in my gratitude journal.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Oh, yeah. These two are regularly mentioned in my gratitude journal. I have the same one as Elizabeth.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
A South African treasure. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And they have gotten me through so much. Their model of playful, healthy love and communication has been a game changer in what I believe is possible for me out there. I don't usually L-O-L-I-R-L, but these two know how to get me there. I know what IRL is, and I know what LOL is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You know what? I don't want to pass any judgment on any Guitar Center employees.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
That's not bad. I bet it was more than that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
You've said it so many times on this podcast.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. Not the drummer. Let's be very clear. A drummer in their history.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yeah. I think that's of note, honestly. Because this guy was hard on his luck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Probably had a sponsorship deal and then he was just selling those cymbals to get the money free.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I feel so bad shitting on Guitar Center, but I've been, you know, a professional musician for— Musician? A professional musician for 20 years, almost.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And I can confidently say it is my least favorite place to buy gear. Yeah. It's like you don't—that's not where you buy your gear. Right. But it is where you go if you need a last-minute birthday present for your daughter.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
So this lady's still, she's going out of her fucking mind.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
She is probably mid. Just mid. She's mid. Like, just even how attractive she is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No, she's probably between, she's probably mid 40s to mid 50s.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
She has a bouquet of flowers with her. That's of note.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And, I don't know, just looks like a middle-aged lady, but with some, either she's really drunk or mental problems.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And has a bouquet of flowers. Like, it's a little off feeling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
At one point in time, she, like, shoves the bouquet of flowers at one of the employees and is yelling at him to take the flowers. Mm-hmm. But she's really upset that no one's helping her and is going on and on about the money. And it's just escalating in a really wild way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
My NLR Patreon bill should be FSA eligible. Now you can help me with FSA. Fucking so awesome. Eligible. Because it's vital to my health. Truly the most parasocial relationship I've ever felt. Thanks for all of the good times. Besties. And then a heart thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
The employees, and I don't know if this is to their credit or fault, are cool as a cucumber.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Which I had that exchange with one of them later. But it's escalating in a way that I'm thinking, like, the cops are going to have to come.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Like, this doesn't seem sustainable. Yeah. Then a guy comes through and there's a bunch of employees. Not one of the single employees seems to be like taking charge of the situation. Sure. They're almost like rotating in and out, sort of like sort of dealing with it and then maybe looking for a supervisor, like trying to figure out what to do. But they're calm.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Then a guy starts walking from my thought outside, but maybe not outside. And he sort of looks like me. He's in plain clothes. And on the way in, he kind of like nods at me and smiles at me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
No, he's like acknowledging the situation, I think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then he sort of makes his way to her and he says, ma'am, do you want to go outside and talk about this? And then I'm thinking like, okay, is this just a good civilian situation? And she blows up at this guy, right? And shoves him.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And now we're like, oh boy. But then it doesn't become clear, is this maybe the manager of the store that had come out from his office?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Or... The way he's acting, I'm thinking, or is this an undercover cop that came in? I could not figure out who this guy was, but all of a sudden now he's shoved.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then he's backing off from her, though, giving her space. And then she's banging on the glass displays.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then she starts yelling, I can do whatever I want. And she starts, like, storming around. And then she makes a gun threat. She says, this is America. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can bring a gun in here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Which everybody at that point was like, oh, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. Right? And that's when the vibe changes. I don't think anybody thought she had a gun on her. But it was like, you can't ever. It's illegal to make a threat.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Well, here's the thing. I had already... The guy had left to go get my pedal. So I got stuck in the center of hell of Guitar Center, literally in the center of hell, waiting for the guitar pedal.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I think it was the calmness of everybody.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And there were a lot of people, too. So it was like, I don't know if it was like if we had to, you know, go toe to toe with this lady, you know, she don't have a chance. But I'm thinking like this. She just made a gun threat. That's illegal, I believe. I don't think you're that's a big no, no. But then, so after that, then I'm really on the lookout.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I am looking around like, okay, where am I going? What is my exit right now? She's actually now, if I was to leave the store, she's now in that path. So it doesn't make sense for me to like go out the door. Everyone's still being calm and it's escalating, escalating. And then someone is like, oh, the cops have been called, you know, because I think someone said, you should call the cops.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And an employee was like, we've called the cops. Like, don't worry.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
And then she still won't let up going, going crazy, crazy, crazy. And then as if she has like some spidey sense of like when cops would actually come, she just kind of collects herself and then just leaves. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Yes, at the employee. But I kind of already alluded to that. It was like shoving them, trying to make the employee take them. And he didn't.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
Didn't I say she like tried to make the employee take them?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
I never found out who that guy is. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
160 - Major Guitar Center & Urgent Care Drama
She tried to wield the flowers on one of the employees. But then it was like, yeah, she just kind of knew that I'm assuming these incidents happen a lot for her. Not at Guitar Center, but I just think at establishments. And she kind of has this internal timer that's like, they've probably called the cops. It usually takes the cops this long to get here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And we're not throwing away muffins. We're not getting rid of anything. Well, it turns out we are though.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So here's my whole thing. The muffins at Costco used to be, they're really cakes, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
They were little round squat cakes. Not little. Not little. It's an individual cake.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
With some blueberries. It's like a yellow cake with blueberries in it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
All the preservatives you could ever imagine in the world.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Andy. I can taste it. I'm not shooting shots. I'm just stating facts. The preservatives put in this thing, and I'm sure they are in the new muffins as well, but it's like a nostalgia. You know what it reminds me of? Those muffins were like my easy-bake oven growing up, but times 50, where you have this glorious, big, huge blueberry cake.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, did you ever taste an Easy Bake Oven cake?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
The thing that took the world by storm. It was... Anyway, we don't need to get into this because this is just also my nostalgia, you know, of how good it was that I baked this dumb little cake. And it's as though seven of those have been stacked one atop the other.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And it is what it is. Is it the most artisanal muffin out there? No. It's a yellow cake. But they're good. They're fucking good.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And in fact, so Vons has blueberry muffins that sometimes we'd get in a pinch. Not good.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
No. I don't think they were ever good. So... Costco now has Vons muffins. I don't know who fell asleep at the wheel over at Costco. Those muffins you got are very much the same as Vaughn's muffins to me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. I've never heard someone say, I'm a member. Like, you got invited. I just clicked the join button. You clicked joined. Yep.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It'll be interesting to see if they undo this horrific, catastrophic decision.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. I have to tell you something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You've been throwing around value proposition.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Now I'm throwing it around all the time. You've said it like four times in the last week. Value proposition. Get used to it. Okay. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, yeah. So then I'm like, who's homeschooling the kids?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. Okay. But I love this side of you. I love it. But Andy. Yeah. No one needs a muffin. Everyone needs a muffin. No, no, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're not letting me say my own.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
That is the sides of what their muffins were.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Those muffins are one of the reasons I think we have some serious problems with diabetes and all of that stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, they're not helping. They're so good, though.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I do, too. And I think you are doing your part. Are you going to pipe in? Oh, I have a question for you regarding Reddit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You know what it is? Yeah. Can you tell me what thread it's on?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah. I meant just like commenting. Have you done that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So you're diving right in the deep end. You're not even you're not even commenting here and there or anything like that. You're just.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, you have to have a picture or it's not going to get attention. And nothing feels worse than posting to Reddit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, big time. Really? Big time. Because I... Okay, I'm going to confess a few things here. First of all, most of my Reddit activity was in the Sciatica forum.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, yeah, maybe. Maybe that's it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah, yeah. And so I had such a good post... surgery experience. And in those forums, there's so much fear mongering around getting surgery that I posted and that one did really well.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yes. Now, there are, I've been so tempted, you can't do this. You can't. You might need to edit this out. But like, in the podcasts forum, sometimes I'll see us mentioned or something. And I never have, I swear to God. But I want to post like, oh, yeah, I love that podcast. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
drum up some some listeners sure okay um but i never have uh because you can't you're really not i know you're not supposed to self-promote exactly that's self-promote on and it's just fraudulent for me to act like i'm not the host yeah yeah yeah you see yeah And then I've commented on some other, like, French learning stuff that's gotten crickets. Now, astrology stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I think I got a banger lined up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay, can't wait to hear it. I think it's going to do really well. But if you don't have a picture, you can just forget about it. You might as well just throw your post in the toilet.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Here are a couple things I'll say. It's a complicated thing. And to each their own, no judgment. Sure. I guess if you're a teacher and you come from a long line of teachers and you think, I can teach my kid better than what's being offered, the offerings, if you will, but... And we're really lucky we have access to great public schools. I think that that's maybe not the case for everyone.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Mine's just a weird little robot.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Do you have a good name? Because they just kind of give you a name.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, I kind of just heard about that for the first time this morning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Can you give a little bit of – I'm going to. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Because I don't really know that much about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And what are they after Jersey for?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
SUV-sized? That's intimidating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And also... Who is doing this? What about aircraft that's flying? I mean, isn't that so dangerous?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
To be in airspace? Just, like, my... This is one of the things. I feel like I've experienced this in the world of medicine.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Where... You know, you think you get someone to the emergency room or you think you get something dealt with and then everything's going to be OK. And the truth is that's not true. And I think this way about like airspace stuff where I think that every inch of airspace over the United States is accounted for. Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Now you're hearing this and it's like the government isn't there have been 20, 50 sightings of SUV sized drones.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I'm so excited to talk to you for an hour like no one's listening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
How so? Don't worry about it. It's just like Joe's out there playing with his new pre-Christmas present that he's
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Who's got all these SUV-sized trucks?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I would be really nervous sending my kid to a public school in a place where... The same can't be said for all of Los Angeles.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Listen, the boss is from there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
In fact, do you know that our dear friend Jesse Rosen, the town that she grew up in is the birthplace of the boss. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So Jersey also, you know, has a real kind of Americana East Coast thing about it. Maybe aliens are like, what is up with this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But I saw something recently and it was like, oh, I think it was an astrologer I follow and like, but it was like, yeah. And obviously we know the aliens are coming up through the ocean. And obviously we know. And I was like, is it obvious? Do we know that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I thought I had put that out there as a revolutionary idea. But I think I'm not the first. And here's a question for you. And I mean this really. Yeah, yeah. I think there are aliens, meaning other beings and intelligent beings out there. How could there not be, given the scope and size of whatever the fuck we're doing here in this crazy universe and how we are mere specks of dust?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Meaning our entire planet is a speck of dust. But do you think they're already amongst us posing as humans?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I don't. I've never thought that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah, and we also know people who have had horrible experiences in private school systems.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're the first person I respect who is saying that you think. Like, do you really think that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And you made a revelation about them to me last night. Yeah. To give you some context.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Who maybe, of all the people I know, maybe are that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Because you thought maybe they're just Scientologists.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Because there's something about them. There's something about them. Lovely people.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But a little like, yeah. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I have such complicated thoughts about this. Can I start at like base one?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, it clicks a lot of things in place for me because this particular group of people, my interactions with them have been so kind of like I can't make heads or tails of any of it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, here's the thing. If they're aliens.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're the ones who said. They're aliens. Because Scientologists in Los Angeles, are they really like hiding it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
First base. Mm-hmm. Is I think that public school, like a society supporting their public school system across the board and having consistency. Sure. in public schools and kind of is like the very basis of a democracy. And it's something and again, I'm just this is just my thoughts. I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty or judgment like you do what is best for you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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So we're like on the naughty list for Santa?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Because I have noticed- I think that you're, no offense, but like thinking a little too highly of us. Like we're just dumb little podcasters. I don't think we have a big enough, you know, Scientologists are all star fuckers. I don't think we have a big enough of a footprint for to be on some random list on the Seaborg or whatever, like in a dusty old book on the Seaborg.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Can we get any more intel on, because I don't.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. So there is a vibe. Now, I've met other Scientologists, and I will say sometimes there is this thing behind the eyes that you're like, oh, there's a vibe up there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Is anyone out there listening?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, that's what I'm going to say. It's not so far off from aliens. And aliens are a part of their whole thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And in that sense, we agree with them, I guess.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
We can break bread with anybody.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I would understand more your statement, I think they know I know, if they were aliens. If they were aliens, yes. They come from a place where I feel like aliens would say they come from.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, can I just say, I mean... Take out the social context of UFO. These are unidentified flying objects.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You know, so just in the basics of the word.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Why the fuck is our government not out there?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
We're going to. You know what? We had our intern who goes to school.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Not as much as some. What does that mean? Phil Clinton. I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
By the way, I love Monica Lewinsky. Me too. So much. Yeah. Okay. So.
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But there are a lot of people I know who are very politically active and very democratic. And and yet they it's the one kind of blind spot they have where they don't send their kids to public school. Yeah. And I think we're in a society where all children have access to the same education, ideally have access to nutritious food there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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What was I where was I going? I got derailed. Oh, oh, just I was speaking some stupid joke about an intern from Rutgers. OK, yeah. You know, trying to get into the FBI and they have him on this on the Jersey drones.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I'd be scared that people are going out there with their own, like, oozies.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
An SUV is falling from the sky God knows where. Like, that's terrifying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Can I say, I mean, I know that this is not a sentiment that is, you know, unique to us and people we know, but.
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We all, I feel like I'm hearing a lot of like. I got to get the fuck out. And I know someone who just got their passport to Canada renewed. And like, I feel like there are, that might send me over where I'd be like, where can we go? And you know, a place that we can't, we have relatives who have property in Montana. There's a well on that property. And I'm like, the water wars are coming.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
We're turning into a whole conspiracy podcast and I'm here for it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And it was kind of surprising because I don't think of you in this way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Like it levels the playing field in such an important way, I think. So I'm such a huge proponent of public school.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I hate that feeling. That's interesting. I mean, it's a little bit more than just claustrophobia because it's such a specific thing to an elevator where it feels like something's awry. And I hate that feeling on elevators also. But... I relate to that feeling and that I'm guessing you had the same sensation I had when we went to that Stromae concert.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And I thought, oh, the balcony is about to collapse. All of these people around me are having fun and, like, it's fine. And I was doing the mental gymnastics of, I should just be like, it's fine. No one else seems concerned. And then going, well, that's when the thing happens. And... Yeah, it's about to collapse. And all these thousands of people are, you know, I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I hate that feeling so much. I'm sorry.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Now, I know there are specific children who might have specific needs or there are any plethora of reasons why you might want to either send your kid to private school or homeschool or whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Was it really crowded around you? Because I feel that sometimes just when I recently had that at Target where someone just, you know, they're culturally different ways of appreciating space.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Yeah, it's an alien. No, this person looked like a Midwestern person like me, but I am like, I don't know what their culture is, if it's different, because something was off about what they thought was an appropriate amount of personal space. And it was a man. And that always makes me feel a little bit like, are you? Well, yeah. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Paint the picture, Mar. Are you being gross right now?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I'm at Target. I'm in line. I have my cart, and so I can't...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
move up more because the person in front of me like if i'm to move up more than i'm in their space with a a vehicle yeah basically unloaded your cart yet and now you're waiting to push the cart forward no so you haven't even unloaded the cart i haven't even unloaded okay and this guy comes up behind me and then there's someone behind them and he is breathing down my neck
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And holding a basket in one hand, it's not even giving me a buffer. And I look behind me, kind of, and I'm like... But I'd have to crane all the way, you know, it's just so awkward and it really bothered me. But I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe culturally there's a different thing. He was tall. So I was like, maybe because his airspace isn't like impeded by my head.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But then, of course, I was like, is he going to like rub up against me or like, oh, I hate that feeling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
The thing about homeschooling, though, is you're taking a lot of checks and balances out of the system.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Do you touch your boner to someone's butt?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're not supposed to do that. There's signs not to do that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, I see. Okay. Sorry. Got it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And obviously, if it's your kid and you know you're teaching them, great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But anyways, so I'm like – They're driving and parking like an asshole.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
The other way. Yeah. The right way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. Listen, I'm more reactive than you for sure out in the world. But when you reach this certain... Justice. I want justice. Do you see the justice twinkle in my eyes? Yes. It's a justice twinkle and you reach a certain level and you get this like scary kind of calm.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
That's one thing. But I always get a little hesitant when I think about... kids who are homeschooled because it is a loophole for some parents to be neglectful. We know someone who was quote unquote homeschooled and literally was never
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You have to be careful because people have fucking guns.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And those assholes especially have guns and have rage and have entitlement. You have to be careful. You have to be careful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, my God. I would be so uncomfortable, Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay, great, great. Daddy's losing his goddamn mind.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I know. I know you do. You settle into this – and I actually love this color on you. I know you do. Where you settle into this kind of calm, like in control twinkle life. But I was just thinking what if the whole drone thing is like people like you who are actually out for social justice and they're scouring New Jersey for assholes. Yeah. Oh, I don't know what they're going to do about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I don't think that's the case.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Real fast, I wanted to tell you about one of our kids is sick, unfortunately, as happens this time of year.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And it's so funny because it's always our son's birthday is the day. We, generally speaking, get through Thanksgiving no problems. And I know other people are kind of falling like trees. And then our son's birthday in December. Which I always think about because it's when things are really starting to kick into gear.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And obviously I gave birth to him in a car on a Friday evening, like shopping seasons happening and all of that stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, no, last year he had COVID.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, he fell really bad into a chair one year and remember like almost broke his nose.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It's our other kid. And unfortunately, our other kid being sick kind of... ruined some of the birthday plans we had but you know what they're both troopers and everything was fine but so there is a winter performance though at their school which is so sweet you couldn't go because you were staying home with the sick one i went and i just want to talk about the kids yeah
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There's neglect. There's abuse happening. And there's no checks and balances with a school where there are teachers keeping tabs on kids and what's happening. The kids are learning certain things. I mean, this is happening now, unfortunately, in regular schools where like...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So first of all, it was so sweet. And I just love that this sort of thing exists and people put so much effort into decorating the stage and the school. And it's such a sweet tradition. Watching the teeny tinies.
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I got so emotional because I feel like it was just yesterday. And also so funny watching them and going, I can see what you're going to look like as a 10-year-old. I think, you know, knowing that these little kids are who they are and the teeny tinies came out and there was like – Most of them were kind of mumbling through the words.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And then there's one kid just screaming at the top of their lungs. It was so funny. But there was, I think it was third or fourth grade performance. Where there was this girl and I was like, honey, I know you so well. I know exactly who you are. She was carrying her whole class. Okay. No one else had their shit together. She's a good singer. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But doing it with the weight of responsibility and kind of like this shit again where I have to carry it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
In such an amazing way. And I just could see her whole life play out in front of my eyes. Wow. I was like, yeah, this is for sure an older sibling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
She's responsible. She gets straight A's with not the most effort in the world. But she has to stand there around with all of these idiots goofing off all the time. She's the only one who has it down. No one else learned their lines or their script. And she's carrying it for everyone.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And knows it. And brought, like, it wasn't a resentment that reverberated. I'm sure no one else even noticed it. But I was just so, like, dialed in to her.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Where she was bringing the right amount of kind of cheer for the occasion. But I could see in her eyes and her body language and demeanor that she was like, here we are again. Yeah. Maya. Me, Maya.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Maya's the only one who's going to take this home for us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
No, no, no. I'm not, I'm making that, I don't know what her name is, but.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
No, I don't think she does. I want her to, I want her to retract. Thank you, Andy. Okay. Thank you so much for really digging in on that. That's not fair. She doesn't talk to herself in first person or third. What is it? Anyway, it was a delight to watch.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You know, books are being banned and kids are only learning specific religious things that aren't real or, you know, I don't know. Yeah. Which I wonder if that could be the case with these teachers. Exactly.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It was okay. No, but he did great. You know what? It's so funny because I feel like our kids have different personalities at home and then at school or wherever. Yeah. And he's such a goofball and so fun and silly at home. I think at school he's a real leader. I mean, we've been told that. And he knows his shit. And he was on target. I got video. I'll show you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Last thing I want to talk about, which I alluded to earlier when you were saying box slut.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay, so you love Costco. It's a safe place for you. Recently you've become very enamored with... It's not recently. Well, recently I've been hearing much more and more about your love affair with Box City. Yes. Tell me about that. What's it like there?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Do they make them custom? What do you mean any size?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Do you put a little note in? Like, thanks for the purchase.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It feels thirsty or something?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And you want exactly the right size.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Now, when you go to Box City, because there are so many boxes, do you need to say to an employee, I'm looking for a 19 and three quarters inch by blah, blah, blah.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And is there a map or something?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Right. Now, having said all of that, the kids I knew who were homeschooled. who came to our high school later, and actually one of my best friend's kids were homeschooled, they're always so smart. When it's done well, I feel like their intelligence is so ahead of the game.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, some are better than others.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Quality cardboard is different from, like, sometimes you get cardboard that I feel like is sent from... Where? China. Okay. You know, with like manufactured stuff like the stupid little squishy balls we get and you open it and the squishy balls smell like gasoline and the boxes smell like poop.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So you did get a hat. Yeah. That's very cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And it just says Box City. Have you given thought? I thought it was such a cool sounding hat and then you treated yourself to it. I thought that was great. But have you given thought to the fact that it seems a little bit sexual? Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I thought about you walking around. You walking around in a hat that says Fox City.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But you're not a guy that I'm going to go, oh, he loves Box City, any more than I'm going to go, oh, he loves Box City.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It means you love it. You're there. You're moving in. Hey, Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I'm not a pervert. And I want you to stop saying that. Andy, also. Wait, hang on. I want to preempt this. But fuck, marry, kill. Okay. Costco, Box City, Target.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Clearly. Clearly. You're making my point.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay. It's the smell. It's the.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I know what the answer is, and it is hard.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Are you kidding me? I thought it was going to be the reverse.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Andy, you use Target exponentially more than Costco.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah. You spend. You go to Target.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah. Like you're getting rid of Target.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're not going to have Target anymore. You're just going to Costco and Box City.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Great style, but I think that there can be some social stuff that they're going to have to play catch up on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
All right. Good night. Good night. Good night.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And so that's another thing that's like, what are you learning in school that's beyond just algebra and Spanish, you know? So there was something else I was going to say, you know, in France.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It's basically illegal to homeschool your kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Exactly. Yeah. The other thing, unfortunately, that I was thinking is if I were a teacher and I have to go to school every day being worried that a gunman is going to come in and shoot up the school, does that fear like cause me to keep my kids home?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You know, I think I have that fear way, way, way more than you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
you're right i think other well i think you're wrong i think a lot of other moms i talk to have that fear i have it out in public i mean actually i've had conversations where it's an assumption when we're talking about like going to a movie theater and friends of mine have the exact same experience of like looking around and being like what what's everyone up to and yeah yeah um it's the number one cause of death of children in our country school shootings
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It's not an irrational fear in our country.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yes, yes. But it happens way too frequently. I mean, it's something that doesn't need to happen at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, I do too. Particularly, I'm going to like gender something, but I made the assumption hearing this that both of those teachers are women.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It reminds me of when I was at war with the crossing, the four-way stop crosswalk that we use.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And I went to like, I was going to City Hall and LA Department of Transportation and all this stuff trying to make it safer. Yeah. I was put in touch with like the sheriff who's in charge of traffic for our area.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
And I spoke to him. And his attitude was basically, my job doesn't matter and I have no agency over anything. It was like, this is just how it is. I'm like, well, it's not in other places where it's like regulated. Yeah. If you put a little effort into, like, it's your job to help it not be this way. And your attitude is, it's just what it is. Like, it's so demoralizing to me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're essentially just telling me your job doesn't matter at all. What a bummer.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Your job makes no difference whatsoever. Yikes. Anyway, I do find that so fascinating. I would love to hear if there's any intel scoop on these teachers. And shame on them. No, no, no. And is there extenuating circumstances? Who is teaching the kids?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So strange. Before we continue, I wanted to remind everyone we're going to have our Patreon Happy Holiday Happy Hour coming up this Saturday at 4 p.m. PST on patreon.com slash nobody's listening right. And we would love to see you there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, just like the homeschool of it and most, I think, elementary school teachers are women.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Okay, should we start with Costco muffins?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah. Oh, I wasn't even thinking about food court. I was just thinking, oh, I'm going to go to Costco and get a 700-pound ham at my lunch break.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, that's what I'm wondering.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Do they still not do like they kind of use old random boxes lying around? That's kind of still part of the fun of Costco.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Is it? No. Okay. Wait. Box slut is such a good segue to another thing I want to talk to you about, but let's continue on. I always found that kind of interesting that a system so efficient as Costco, right? There are no bells and whistles. They're just stacking pallets of shit all around for you. You're taking away a lot of the frills that put extra costs on things. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You're keeping costs down. I don't know. Like, a good experience. I'm just kidding. I know for you it's a good experience. But anyway, and then at the end game, it's like there's no system. It's like, oh, just use this random box that used to have 8,000 boxes of goldfish in it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So you can move it around. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's fair.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It's always a commitment, I will say, because their muffins would come in packs of 12. And you'd have to get two packs of 12.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, no, I don't like how you just said that. They don't have their wife stay home. But you're saying it as if... I'm like, really, I just listened to the We Can Do Hard Things episode that many nobodies sent me about this woman who left trad wife cult. Yeah. So I'm a little sensitive right now to the patriarchy and how toxic and horrible it is. And so you just really threw me into a tailspin.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
What a deal. Now, each muffin is the size of a baby's head.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I didn't know there was any yogurt or cream involved.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But you have to get eight of them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
That would be awesome if one of the couples on the show was like a couple that had been married for that long. Yes, yes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
do it but they basically separate the couples and the couples all come for different reasons but I think in most cases they're having some issues and they want to see and it's seemingly there's four couples that come on the show is maybe three out of the four have some sort of in the infidelity history in their thing yes if you're a producer in the show you're like great we gotta make sure we get couples that like have cheated on each other yeah that's the whole name of the game they're weak they're weak
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Softer body. This didn't hurt to see.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Can we also say this, because I'm curious if other people would agree with us? On the guy's side, they bring in 14 hot girls, okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
On the girl's side, they bring in 14... Not firefighters. Not firefighter, like, kind of...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all like big dudes, like muscle dudes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. Or, or are we out of touch? And maybe there are like three really hip female casting directors that are like, no, these are our guys.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
He does look a little dorkier than me. And also the fact that he's buying cat food is a little hard for me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It's interesting for you to say that because over the years you've been pretty much like, but there's plenty of other people out there for me. You have sort of like that where I find you and I like meeting up and stuff a little bit. I know you find it magical.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But if you were to, you know, put a gun to my head and say, do you believe in soulmates or not? I probably be like, yes, I think so. Where you, I think, would confidently be like, no, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, but to be thought of as the cat food guy. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not a cat guy. Like, you wouldn't describe me as cat guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So it's just plural for you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And I can't believe they showed that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Like they did not. They showed a steamy shower, but you can tell what's going on. And this is on Netflix. I was shocked.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, what's cool about the girl in this, who I don't really like because she seems a little... She's not very kind. But what's cool is she knew this was going to happen and she doesn't seem to give a fuck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I think she's more like she's on the show and almost like, I knew it was going to play out like this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, she's going to be real upset. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Really, you don't want to see your boyfriend getting a blowjob from some random girl on a television show that millions of people are going to see.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I just think that you're blowing that out of proportion. I don't think anything you said, like the sentences you said, is wrong. Oh. But I don't think that's the conceit of the show. I think when they're saying that, these are people, let's just take one couple that's like, we've been together for three years and it's just been really hard and I can't get over maybe one thing like this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And I just need to know, am I supposed to be here? Is this worth it? It's more, it feels a little bit more practical to me than this big, are they the person? Yeah. It's almost like they just need convincing like, am I making the right decision to stay with this person? To me, it's more of a, am I fucking up by being with this person? Do I deserve more from someone else?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Do I need these tits in my face? Do you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
What did you think she was going to say?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, let's get to the real meat of what we want to talk about about this show.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yes. And this and I'm going to preface this that this might this could be something that maybe has been like really documented that we don't realize. But to us, it was a shocker and continues to be the coolest thing about this show.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And yeah, in almost like the most inspirational thing that's ever happened to me in my life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
For sure. Now, how clueless am I pitching? Like...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay, and I'm defending it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay, great. Oh, this is great. Okay, so to set the scene.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It was on something, and now it's moved to Netflix. Oh, it's on Netflix. So it was on from 2019 to 2013.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I guess it's all this stuff that you're kind of learning about. Okay. Okay, so... All right. So how about you're the... I'm Netflix. And you're kind of the mastermind and the... I'm a producer. You're a producer. And the concept of the show is fucking locked in. It's airtight.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Everyone's so excited. There's just one missing piece.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I'm going to go by Andy. Keep me as Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I hear you, Stacey. But I have a completely different vision. What you're talking about, it's a nice idea, but it's been done.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
We are trying to reinvent the dating show right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And we have someone in mind that really we don't need to look at anybody else.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
This isn't our first rodeo. Stacey, of course, there's going to be earpieces.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Stacey. Okay, I have two words for you. Okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
This is a little left field. Okay. Mark Wahlberg. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, that's not in there. I hope that subtext is in there, but it's not because she says she's continuing to picture me as this cat man. She's not going to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Let me, Stacey, I'm so sorry to stop you right there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
We're talking about a different Mark Wahlberg.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
One that is just as successful in his own right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
When it comes to the world of television.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Mark Wahlberg from Antiques Roadshow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
He is a legend host in that world.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And we think he is the perfect guy to usher in this new wave of dating reality TV.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Now, first of all... Can we just say how this went down? We're watching the show and I'm looking at it and I go to Elizabeth like, who is this guy? We know him from something. We know this guy. Yeah. And it's driving me nuts. And I let it go for a little bit. And then we're 15 minutes in to the show and I have to get on my phone to figure it out. And I think it's going to be...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You said it like, was he on Survivor or what?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. And then we look it up and fucking the Antiques Roadshow guy. And then it all came rushing into me like, oh, my God, that's the guy from Antiques Roadshow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I think we might be exaggerating a little bit. But you know what? I want to give it to him.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
He does have an earpiece in too.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I would love for people to do some sketch drawings like at the police station for us just off of hearing us audibly. But forget all that. Go check us out on Spotify or YouTube. Let's get those YouTube numbers up maybe.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Sometimes a little condescending.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But you get the feeling that all the contestants feel held in a safe space with him. He really... He's perfect for the show.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
The guy revealing that he likes to get his ass eaten in one of the games that they're playing. Yeah. It's like, that's the tone of the show.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, this show's called Temptation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You're really tempting somebody. This firefighter. You and me, I die in a fire. And then this firefighter was there the day that I died. He saved a pet or something. But you would never even think of getting with this firefighter. But then a year later, you run into him at Trader Joe's.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Because you see him help an old lady that falls over in Trader Joe's.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, this is from Misty Morris. Love you guys. Great name. Have been listening since St. Monica told me to. There she is. But I've just recently started watching you. And I have to say, Andy, you look totally different from how I pictured. And since I've been listening longer than watching, you will continue to look like how I pictured. I know you're dying to know, so I'll share.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You wouldn't just grab the whipped cream and put it all over your finger and then suck your finger, which happens in the show.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I don't know. Are you talking about their assholes or are you talking about the whole pubic range? Maybe everything. I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
How big of a thing is that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I don't know. We're a little out of touch.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Like, is he a creator of the show? Because I... Honestly, how does he get this job? And also kudos to whoever did hire him, if it wasn't himself hiring himself.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So that'll help you, I think.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Maybe he went on to have a game show. Okay, even if you were a game show host, isn't it pretty wild that then you're doing Temptation Island?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Can you see what game show he hosted?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, in 2001? I thought it was 2019.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It feels dangerous saying that. The reason you don't want to do it is because you think there's some safety that one of the parties involved in the story wouldn't hear it. But you think that maybe they could hear it on the regular episodes, potentially.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You're goddamn right. Oh, wait, you are right. Temptation Island was 2001 to 2003. Wow, we're really late in the game. But then it looks like it disappeared for a long time. Oh. Oh, wait, he was the host of Joe Millionaire?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You can't bring back the show without Mark.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
OK, this changes things a little bit, but sort of not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
OK, how about this for inspiring? So, yes, we have blips of Temptation Island here and there. Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But throughout it all. From 2002 to 2022, he kept doing Antiques Roadshow, putting 252 episodes under his belt. So he never stopped doing Roadshow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You never know. Beautiful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay, I have a question for you about navigating things out in the world.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
That I'm wondering if you, as the type of lady you are, ever encounter. Uh-huh. So, day before my birthday, me and Josh, Josh from T-Bash, Trolley Beverages, and sometimes Hot Sauce, he took me out for my birthday. JoJo. And we went and played some disc golf together.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Now, disc golf attracts, I would say, a certain crowd. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
The guy from the cat food commercial is like a disc golfer from maybe the Pacific Northwest. Yes. Or the northern northeast, maybe Maine or something. But in general, there's also a lot of disc golfers that just have a kind of dirty hippie vibe. Sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And not to disparage, there's also lots of disc golfers that are like really into the sport that that's a whole other scene. Right. And then you got people like Jojo and myself that, well, Jojo is pretty good, but like, I'm just kind of like a side lurker that thinks it's fun to play.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, we get there, we park. And I mean, the cliche of the hacky sack disc golfer just pops out of nowhere and is asking if one of us has a marker because they need to write their name on their new discs.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But by you teasing it so big, if you had a weird feeling like you were maybe one of those parties, wouldn't you then subscribe to the Patreon if you're teasing it like this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And JoJo had one. And so this guy, he has no shirt on, you know, shaved side hair with the rest of his hair in a bun on top, crazy tattoos everywhere. He's wearing pants that are hanging down too long that are super baggy. And that's it, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And in all accounts, this guy is fucking awesome. Like, he's a character.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Very similar Puck vibe. If you can imagine Puck as a disc golfer and a little bit more hippie. But his vibe couldn't have been more friendly, but very outgoing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And now he has a Sharpie marker. And God, he must have just really loaded up on discs because it's taken a long time. But he's chatting us up. And maybe on any other day, I might think like, all right, we're going to play with this guy. You know, like he's going to join us. And we're right before the first tee, right? We're about to start.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But I'm also thinking in the back of my head, how the fuck do we not play with this guy? This is my birthday hang with JoJo.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
There's a day, a version of my life – Where I'm down for that because this guy is such a character and so friendly, it would have made for a hilarious couple hours, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Now, disc golf seems to be a type of thing where you can encounter this sort of problem a lot because it's not like a regular golf where you have to sign up for your tee time, right? Yeah. It's just casual. You're showing up. In addition, that same day, we were able to skirt this guy. He luckily was like, you know what? I'm just going to go over here and fuck around for a little bit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Fuck. Now, is this guy going to want to play with us? Josh very smartly says, hey, do you want to play through? Yeah. And the guy does. Now, this guy, in retrospect, and Josh explained, he looked like a little bit more pro. He had his backpack with all the discs. And Josh, I said, Josh, how do you know, like, whether to let them play through or whether they're going to try to, like...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
you know, get in on our round and whatnot. And he's like, that guy, you could tell he, he wanted to fucking just play. He's in the zone. He's by himself. But as a guy doing those types of activities, I feel like it's happened a bunch of my life where you have to figure out how to navigate, not wanting to hang on, hang out with a stranger. Does that ever happen to you? Can you think of an example?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And if so, how do you deal with it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I was never thinking of this gendered like that. But that is so fascinating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Incredible. One of my best birthdays I've ever had.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. And it just felt really great and relaxed. I was not stressed out at all during it. And it was very smooth and I was in a good mood the whole day. The only thing I might change, it was a little go, go, go for me personally.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
That is the nice thing. And I was kind of prepping that, but I felt like I had to prep that. And then after the guy left, Jojo even said, oh, he had already Jojo was like, I was going to pretend I had to go use the bathroom or something. So we were both shooting it before we were getting ready for the problem.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, but they put themselves out there and then they got denied.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. I can work on that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, it is interesting that I brought this up not even thinking about that aspect of, like, yeah, getting hit on by people.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I didn't have any downtime.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You're just getting bombarded by it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So next time I might add a little downtime in there, a little relaxed time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
want to be like with you so they're like you know being aggressive like no let me blah blah blah and showing you and it's like just let me fucking shop dude yeah you know that's interesting yeah on this same golf fall trip we saw the most adorable thing there was a couple probably in their early 70s that were out in the big field just like playing with their dog and
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And then like, then they kind of just walked over to the shade and just all three of them kind of laid down with the dog, just like chatting. But I've never seen like an old couple do that. It looked like what you would see, like, you know, a 30 year old couple at the Silver Lake Reservoir do with their dog. Do you know what I mean? But I was like, these are 70 year olds doing that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I hope so, that we're still, like, not so feeble.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It's all about bone density.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, yeah. We talked about this recently. It's all scantily clad women in lingerie.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I mean, you probably just watched one bird video. You hearted one and then they got you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay, that's a completely different thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, there's like bird watching people. But if you're just talking about talking birds, that's a different game.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
That's a whole crazy thing. But that bird, they live. It's also a commitment. They live so long.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, then it laid an egg.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I don't know how that happens.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I think they take it out sometimes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, here's the thing. Those birds, I mean, they're very smart. And I think they like what they like. So the bird loves my sister-in-law.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So if she's around, the bird doesn't really fuck with anybody else. I've been told that if she's out of town, the bird will be much more receptive to my brother and his daughter.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But, like, the way that Sherry can handle that, you've seen it, right, where she's, like, scruffing up the bird and, like, I mean, she's just yanking it around, flipping her upside down and stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
The bird will let Sherry do anything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, we have a complicated relationship, me and that bird.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, it's just so, yeah, my ex in high school had that bird. And so my introduction to that bird was like, oh, my God, that's so crazy. This girl has a talking bird. And like we would give it pencils and it would like destroy the pencils. And we thought that was funny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I don't remember back then, but now it says she says hello and like, yeah, just random shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, so my ex's family must have given the bird back to like some pet store because then my brother's wife found the bird at like a pet store, a bird store.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I almost feel like I knew the second, like, wait, what the fuck? Because it's a very distinct looking bird. We live in a small town in Idaho, like, and then we were able to confirm it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, I will say this. When I first saw the bird in high school, that bird was in, you know, a nice size cage, but not in the situation this bird is in. Now, this bird basically can go, I mean, the bird's cage, if you would call it that, is like half of their living room. It's huge. This bird's living the life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So I don't know. But I think they just get attached, you know? It's like all pets.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I saw a headline the other day that you can be just as happy with this pet as you can with a partner.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Getting to the bird thing. And I know we've probably talked about this a little bit, but there was a second bird in the house.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, that they had to get rid of. It was too mean.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And Cooper, I think, was supposed to more be my brother's bird. Oh.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It went OK, I think, for a while. But then there were some times where Cooper tried to fly away and I think did fly away and then got him back. But then Cooper was he was a naughty boy. And he bit my brother many a time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And it was getting too aggressive in it. It might have to be because it was a tube bird. Who knows what it is? They are very pet friendly.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So this decision was, if there's any bird people listening, it was not taken lightly. And I'm sure the bird was rehomed so that it could be with a more accommodating situation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And those bird bites really hurt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
For that time. Well, yeah, and then after that, then I played Rocket League with my other buddies.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, and then we went to dinner.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. People shout out this place a lot. I heard it about it on a podcast.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I think also she felt, and correctly so, that this might be a louder type, bigger place. And she doesn't like loud spots.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
That would not be. I'm glad you filled us in on that because the meal started with like a salad that they make at the table.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
The Andy I know from Nobody's Listening Right is the guy at the grocery store buying cat treats from his cat in the deliciously delectable Delictables ad. So I sent you- Gotta look that up. I just texted it to you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And it was really good. And our son does not eat salad.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And he is going to town on it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And you had gotten up to, like, leave for a second.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I know you were, but I knew the second we walked in, I know those were your thoughts. I know you were judging everything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
But all that being said, when we walked in, I kind of knew what we were going in because I've heard about this place for a while and it being hyped up. It won the best steakhouse in LA in 2023. That's not that long ago.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, I did walk in and similar to you, I was kind of like, oh, a little bit. Then it also took a very long time for our server to come over to take drink orders and everything. But when he did come over, he was really nice.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And then our like food salad came out instantly and it was like, okay, now we're getting the show on the road.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And so all of the food was great and exceeded my expectations on what I felt like when I walked in. I was like, oh, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Well, I want to look extra good this episode because in case, please check us out on YouTube or you can also watch us right on Spotify in there too if you want to see what we look like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, I knew that wasn't the sitch.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And not to mention, the dress... Was cleavage friendly, I would say.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
You were getting checked out, especially by one guy did a double take when we were walking in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, okay. If he was in a commercial... Yes. He would be in some, like, commercial for... Ooh... It would be he's a firefighter in the commercial. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. He's like a firefighter in the commercial. How old? And he's probably 38. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
It's a better situation for you than for me. Yeah, for sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, no. Well, I wouldn't say.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I don't know. It happened fast.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Let's say he wasn't. I'll give that to you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
He double-ticked. He double-ticked. He walked. And if I'm going to be really honest, I think he really was being drawn to the cleavage, which is okay, right? Okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay, okay, okay. But he, like, walked, and I think he saw what was going on. And then he did a double-tick, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
And it was for you, for sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
So how would you describe this young gentleman?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, I don't think so. I don't think he would have been able to make eye contact because he was laser beamed on you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I wish you had. I wasn't in that kind of situation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah. See, if we were sitting and this was a gentleman that was facing you during dinner, then I would give those, I own these tits vibes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Okay. It's probably not a firefighter. It might be. And also, I think you're picturing like a really handsome firefighter.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
This is like a 6.5 firefighter. But he's a firefighter.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
No, it's not. I'm not trying to take you down a peg or two or anything like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
I'm just trying to keep it real because I just want to paint what this guy was like. But this is, it's great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, God. I messed up, didn't I? I really, really messed up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
We could use a pension. That's for sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, good. That's great. I don't have shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Oh, I thought you were just saying it was a gift that you like went there and like pretended you liked it for me. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
164 - The Most Inspirational Man There Ever Was
Yeah, I don't know if it's anywhere I need to go soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
151 - Our LA Fires Story
You know it well. Yeah, I'm getting it right now. I don't even know why, but yeah, I know it well. Go on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Now, our eldest daughter is embarrassed, not by her baby sibling. No, no. She loves the Chinese pistachio as well. She's embarrassed that her mom is out there every morning oohing and aahing over the glorious full leaves that are now turning a gorgeous crimson.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I've resigned myself to this. Involve, like, pretty gross American men.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
As all the other kids are walking to school right in front of our short fence, I'm going on and on about how its trunk is getting bigger, it's getting taller. With every week, it's growing and becoming more lush. I think she might be just jealous. Fast-growing trees makes it so easy to order online.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Your plants are delivered to your door in just a few days, and it's all so seamless and is honestly so much fun. Going on their website and kind of playing around, and it gives you all the info you need about what's going to thrive in your area. It's very cool. And they've got over 6,000 plants to fit in any space, from indoor to fruit trees to full-size privacy trees and more.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And their Alive and Thrive guarantee ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy. This spring, they have the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants. And listeners to our show get 15% off their very first purchase when using the code NLR at checkout. That's an additional 15% off at FastGrowingTrees.com using the code NLR at checkout. FastGrowingTrees.com, code NLR.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
No, but I just don't know. You know, our travels, it'll be interesting to see if it opens up that dark closet in my mind up to like foreign men, but they haven't made an appearance so far. It's been like that one waiter I thought I found repulsive at coffee shop he used to go to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Now's the perfect time to plant. Use NLR to save today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I want to thank our week's sponsor, One Skin, which you know I love.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Look at the sleek packaging. It makes me feel very high tech. I love it so much I basically gave them a free ad on our other podcast, Nobody's News, just because I was simply shouting them from the rooftops. It's true. And my love affair with them is just in time because, as we all know, summer is basically here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
For a limited time, all of our listeners, you listening, can try One Skin with 15% off using code NLR at oneskin.co. That's 15% off oneskin.co with code NLR. After you purchase, they're going to ask you how you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. It's very important to me on a personal level.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Give your skin the scientifically proven gentle care it deserves with OneSkin. So before we started this podcast, we were talking about Like with the dawn of 23andMe and all of that stuff, obviously so many people and men especially because women usually tend to know if they're pregnant and carrying a child have kids who are coming out of the woodwork saying, hey, daddy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And also, obviously, families getting decimated because it turns out that, you know, Grandpa Tucker was a naughty boy. And but anyway, I was just speculating, like, what would you do if some gal that you had had a one night stand with in New York? How many of those are there?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
One-nighters. Oh, like that I never. In your repertoire.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I know. Andy. Yeah. Was it at your house usually or were you at other places?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I guess objectively he was, but he kind of, he had like an oafish hot quality about him.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Okay. You went back home with her to her apartment.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And how frequently would you guess that you took ladies back to your apartment?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I have a big surprise for you. Esmeralda, come on in. No, I only had two one-night stands, but it was quite a week for me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And I'm not even joking. It was fleet week. I know, yeah. It was fleet week. There was the Marine.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
But what would you do if a kid who's now, and we witnessed, you know, your roommate found out he had sired, like, a baby.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
No, it was right, it was like the next year or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Oh, that's probably, I think an email or a call, probably email.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Anywho, I'd love to open up to, you know, the library.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, you have to to them. You can't be a dick to them about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Virgin is always just going to be supportive. And I think, of course, I would be supportive to the kid. It's very brave of them to come and find you and what the expectation might be. And I would be supportive to you. I'm sure you would have a lot of big feelings about it. I guess the question is, it's an interesting dance of like, how does that child want to be in your life? How does that work?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
So I just am asking for no reason whatsoever. No. God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, no, because that would mean my dad had had intercourse.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I think there's a lot ogling, which I have to say, I guess under the right conditions, I might find kind of hot. But I think in real life is a real huge, I mean, it's really obnoxious and a huge turnoff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Okay. Yeah, let's really move on. Because an interesting thing is I feel like people who are, like, fostering pets right now, you know, we've fostered pets. Bringing a new energy...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But go with me on this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
We have brought like there's been there was a foster pet. You know, we had the puppies. Puppies are different, but like. That one sweet dog that we brought in who did have seizures, so it was an issue, but she was a sweetie and just having like nothing wrong with her energy. She was a good girl, but it throws things out of whack when you have a new energy coming into the family.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
No, that's something that you can help them get help for. There's medication. I wonder if we would put them on our health insurance.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Tough, tough stuff. Stuff. Yeah. Now, you wanted to have a new kind of pet recently because we were asleep and we have like near our big kind of windows in our bedroom that goes out onto our deck, the motion sensor lights. And so very annoyingly, every once in a while in the middle of the night, they will turn on because a little critter creature or like a spider web, I don't know,
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And lately the chances of it being a prowler feel much higher. So we take it seriously when it turns on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
No. So we were asleep. The lights turned on. You kept sleeping soundly. I checked the thing and I was like, oh my God. Now we see raccoons from time to time, but this was a big, big buddy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I think female. And she was kind of walking around the yard and then she kind of walked over to the driveway area.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
We lost her. But I said, oh my gosh, because I wanted you to be like in this with me. There was a huge raccoon. You know, wow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And then about three minutes later. Yeah. It turns on again.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And she comes right up over to, so we're looking out the window and now I'm getting up out of bed and I'm like, oh my gosh, you have to come see.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
This sweet girl is here saying hi to us. She, it turns on and she is right at the window. Yeah. But on all fours, like walking around the way a raccoon does.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
You know, it's interesting. It used to be like red roses was the cliche on Valentine's Day. And I think there are women who love that shit. I've never been. I'm like, OK, now I have to like cut it and put it, you know, but.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Because it's motion sensor. So if nothing's moving for a while.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And you're like, get the camera, and you're sitting there with the camera in front of the window going, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh. Is she still there? We don't know. And then you said, after like a while, turn on the light outside. And I turned it on, and she is sitting at our window. Like, she wants to fucking hang out with us. I mean, right up against the glass.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And you were hoping that this was going to become like a thing that you'd have a pet raccoon.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yes, because a raccoon was found smoking a meth pipe in a car. Not really smoking.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
You're a little overly scared of skunks. Like they're just animals like you get when you see a skunk, you're like, whoa. I mean, it's as if you're seeing a grizzly or the idea of being sprayed.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
So for example, the Reformation Jeans I really want is... Great. It would be like a model who's like my measurements of body. Right. Okay. But, you know, looking great in these jeans, like walking over to camera and being like, hey, Elizabeth. I mean, it might even be me. Yes. It might be my face looking at me being like, do you like these? Check out these new jeans.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, usually if it's high quality, I don't really want like CVS style, but.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Or whatever. Like, just imagine yourself like... Grabbing a coffee and going out with girlfriends or you could dress it up like this and boom, now she's out like at dinner with friends. I mean, as I'm saying this, I'm like, should I apply for it? I know there's only going to be like one or two people jobs in the ad field. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I do appreciate like, of course I appreciate like a beautiful bouquet of flowers that makes your home feel nice and pretty. It's just the red roses thing to me has never really done it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I know, it's very inexpensive. In that world. For filming documentaries or shows.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Because they know us better. I mean, it's like, does the algorithm know before you even have that conversation that, like, when someone in... The type of guy who's buying this Pocket 3 brings it up to other people. He's probably talking to these other types of guys. And like what percentage of those conversations does the Sony camera come up?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
It feels very low effort. Like, oh, what am I going to do for this person? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Because how many DPs are out there having these conversations?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I know. The, like, fake news or false information, you know, St. Monica just sent us this revisionist history episode to listen to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Malcolm Gladwell's podcast, and it's all about RFK Jr. Yeah. And the vaccines that, like, just how people in positions can just say whatever the fuck they want.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And it... And in this case, it's being told this by, like... I already use the Google kind of AI.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, it seems like you don't, if that's what you're doing. Just the cliche thing that capitalism has fed you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yeah. Pretty frequently now, it just is fed to me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
But... What I was thinking when you were telling the story is I would be very freaked out if that YouTube video were like AI generated. The fact that it's a real person doing a real review. And I know that as time goes on, it's going to be harder to tell if it's real or if it's not real.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yes. And your whole point about misinformation or just saying whatever you want to say.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And, like, literally showing how your life is improved... What I will say, so these jeans, I'm like, I want to see someone who's in size 10 wearing these. Because every, you know, some clothing companies now will have different sizes showing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yes, but not this one. And so I'm like, I know they look great on this, like, size 2 woman.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
As they do. And it was because I was at Trader Joe's and I saw them on this very cute lady dress.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I saw her and I was like, hey, what are your genes? And she goes, she smiled as though like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Kind of, not her, but the genes. Yeah. And she goes, they're the reformation carry jeans. And I have like four pairs. I'm obsessed. My mother-in-law's now wearing them like she it seems like it's a thing. So anyway.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
No, I don't very often at all. But these were like the jeans I have been looking for. But of course, she was like very tiny. And I think one of those bodies that clothes just look good on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yeah, because I'm like, buy me some cool jeans.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
So I saw her earlier, actually. She has a child.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, I saw her in the aisle where I was looking for chia seeds. Her son, she was like having an issue with her son. I gave her a smile because she was like, her kid was like spitting all over everything. I wanted to be like, I've been there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Definitely. Gene agenda. And so then I saw her out in the parking lot and I was like, I'm going to take my shot.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Kid. Kid genes. Kid. I want you to know I am. We kid about the gene agenda. I smiled before the genes entered the conversation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I was just like, there are these reformation jeans I really want. Okay, I don't care.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I got home. I'll tell you how much my receipt is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Oh, my God. Hey, Andy, I need jeans. I need jeans. Yeah. I think they're $178. Got it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
That reminds me of my mom who, when she would have pictures taken, she'd be like having... You do this when you're texting. You're like... Having the conversation. But she would have a conversation. It was very smart to make herself look like she's delighted to find what she's talking about. Oh, my God. I wish she weren't dead. So... Anyway...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Gosh, what a day. You're like giving me props. You're apologizing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I appreciate that. No, no, no. Listen, you... have shortcomings. I have shortcomings. I can't fathom what they could be. No, just kidding. I know I do. You put up with a lot from me. A lot, yeah. And I know you love me despite it, you know? Yeah. And this is one of the areas that I just have accepted.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And also, I have to say, I know I'm like half kidding through this and you are too, but having your ADHD diagnosis
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Listen, I feel like there are people who their spouses do things and like have a credos. What's a credos? Credo.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
That they live by that I could not tolerate. I mean, how many times, I guess, and well, I probably don't say it that often, but I feel like there are times where I'm like, I can't imagine being married to that guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Okay. Yeah. Do you remember the other day we were going on our little date, which is so fun, in the morning? I feel like we hacked the system because as of late, you know, money's tight. People can help out at patreon.com slash nobody's listening right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Throw them in the wash. Those are pretty kicked, that pair of underwear, the specific one. I was on the fence. They were towing the line anyway, and it's why I wore them for day two.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
You get a bonus episode every month, and this month is going to be fun, let me tell you. Love it. I can't wait to share this story. We haven't gone on as many date nights because... It costs $120 just to step foot out the door. To get the sitter. To get a sitter. Yeah. But we're going in the mornings after drop off to a little coffee place. And it is just delightful. I love it so much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And what you see when you're out in the world. Well, now two times I have seen a couple driving around East L.A. in a fucking golf cart.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And I'm like, I want to know about these people. Did they move from Martha's Vineyard? Like, what world are they living in where they think that that's what you're doing?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Those are beach communities where I'm like, I get it. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
This is not for that. I mean, and I want I've seen them with their kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And there are no helmets or anything. They're just hanging out. And it's in it's in traffic that I'm scared to even like be walking on the sidewalk around. And I know I'm overly scared and to each their own, but I have to wonder, I'm like, is this something that he's all about? And he's like, I know people don't do it here, but they should be. So we should start.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I have no idea, but I'm and I hope they don't hear this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And also... These are not 25 mile per hour. They're 35. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, hopefully with your second family. Does that make me your starter wife?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, that makes tons of sense. It's a little cabin community you're diddling around. To me, this is, like, so nuts.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
But... I also think about, I think, I mean, we've complained and griped about, like, people riding their bikes in a way that's like, what are you thinking? But then I'm also like, more people should ride their bikes. Like, maybe they're leading the way on something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
But then good for them. You know, like the world would be a better place if more dads were out there riding the bike.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, for example, like speaking of Paris and how fucking hot those Paris men are. Yeah. They're turning it into a city where it's like half bikes, half cars. And like how amazing to live in a world where people only really use their cars for long distance things and mostly the infrastructure of streets and stuff is set up for bikes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Literally, the only drive-thru I go to is Starbucks. Occasionally.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And do you see how it turned what could have been an annoying situation into like, oh, I get to just fucking toss them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I think they get paid minimum wage, unless you're like a manager. Yeah. I could be wrong about that. I don't have my finger on the pulse of fast food as we've discovered here. Okay. I think that does it. Yeah. Good night.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Instead of rinsing them in the sink and wringing them out and then having wet under, you know, like all that stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Had like some spotting, probably a year and a half or something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I turned to pads because I had, and once again, so happy that we're talking about this. I had a pelvic prolapse. Yeah. It was like uterine and also asshole. I don't know what was happening, but everything was caving in. And it was uncomfortable for a long time after giving birth to our son, after having given birth to our daughter, to wear tampons.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I'm so excited to chat with you for an hour as though no one's listening. And in fact, I want to continue a conversation. I almost started before we did this and you were like, save it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And so I just was like, I guess they're not for me. Then a couple years ago, I just stopped needing anything, really.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yeah. But... This time around, I knew this was coming because I went off the birth control pill. I should say that's why I haven't had a period. And I'm trying to like kind of reset my hormones and maybe start getting into HRT. So I kind of loaded up on a bunch of stuff. And lo and behold, the tampons are just fine. Yeah. So I think my prolapse is a lot better now. Got it, got it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
It's all kind of like gotten... Maybe it's Pilates. Maybe, you know, I did PT a couple of years ago. I don't know. But anyway, I have the pelvic strength. Like, I'm cagling right now. Okay, okay, great. And I could lift, you know, it's like pick up the tissue. Yes, stop it. Put the tissue down on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick it up. Yeah. So, yeah. But can I say...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
The tampons have been amazing. And yet you had a blowout. I did have a blowout.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, what happened was it was day two. I had a dental emergency. I had to go in and have, like, a...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
new crown created and stuff and it's a whole thing and i didn't expect to be there for over an hour but i was right and so i just hadn't like i should have changed it out right were you using a regular a super super plus regular got it it sounds like it might have been a super plus day would have solved that this message brought to you by tampax okay um cool so where were we i just know that because i was looking at the box in the store trying to figure out what to get
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Oh, but what I wanted to say is something that I haven't had, even though on birth control I did have kind of like, I enjoyed several years, first of all, of not having my period. Wonderful. Kind of, I think it steadied out my emotional stuff, but almost kind of dimmed things a little bit for me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yeah, I have a zest. A spark is back. And I have a zing. But what I had forgotten is wonderful, is here I am on day five.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
And it's like you wake up and feel like a whole new person. Ah. And I've stopped bleeding and I'm like, my body feels great again. I went to Pilates this morning and I, you know, it's like you've gone through something. This happens once a month.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Well, maybe it's just that I feel good again and I'm not like, ugh.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Yeah, a bunch. There's like a whole, there are like six moms from our neighborhood.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
Oh, by the way, a class that all the other women have been going to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I love to hear this now because you played it very cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I was totally like the low rent one also, though, because every all the other women had like. Cute kind of like I was wearing like an old T-shirt and kind of like some old yoga tights that have like paint stains on it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
168 - Pilates Humiliation
I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get there. I'm late. Everyone's already set up. Oh, my God.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
the quilt like there was no way to fold it to make the shape of a yoga mat like i it was such an odd size that i was trying to fold it in a way that would make a yoga mat shape and there's just no way and so then one of my friends said oh they have
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
They had yoga mats. So they did. So I got a yoga mat. Thank God.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Did people see? I was rearranging and folding and...
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Maybe offhand, I've talked about French men... But I feel like I've mostly, I don't know. My fantasies, unfortunately, and you can't control them. You just can't. And you should give up trying.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
I'm that person, though, who comes in and everyone's like, Jesus fucking Christ. Get your shit together.
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No, I think I did, yeah, to the people I knew. Like... But then I was getting to it. It all happened very quickly. And then Sarah was like, hey, there's.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
It was, it was so hard. I was like sore the next day in a great way. I'm excited.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Cause then you're in a situation where if they don't, then you're just standing there.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Andy, so excited to thank this week's sponsor, Fast Growing Trees. A quiz for you.
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
Did you know that Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the U.S. with thousands of different plants and over 2 million very happy customers?
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168 - Pilates Humiliation
If they're like me, they're embarrassingly happy, which I'll get to. So it seems like the right time, though, just we're going to pause and announce some huge personal news of ours. We've had a third child. That child is our Chinese pistachio tree from fast growing trees that I speak to each morning. Yes. And dulcet tones. It's in our front yard, and I squeal over how quickly it's growing.
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142 - Airport and Car Karma
Young person. After his game ends, he then just hits the start button again and takes the last credit. And just no shame, just keeps playing with our credits.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
What's interesting about your thesis is I think you're missing one of the things that's currently happening with those families that you're talking about.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
For example, I was talking, we did have to take our daughter for basketball pictures and I was talking to another mom.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And that really fucking threw a wrench in our day because that was two things in one day. Right? There's a birthday party.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
They were walking distance of each other. But I was talking to another mom there and I asked what she had going on afterwards. And she said, sort of to what you're getting like, oh, man. What a crazy day. And then she rattled off what had already transpired before, which was they had 17 more things than what we've done.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
One of their other kids had pictures, but they didn't go awry because someone didn't show up in time. Then this. Then they're going to go see a nephew's game. Then this. Then this. So it was a much fuller day. But it was it was all focused around kids stuff. Yeah.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But also, if you're not out and about, you're not getting rear-ended. You know what I mean? At the bar. Right, exactly. So here's my question for you. Yes. Here's the thing. It's just two different types of people because we also have we have good friends that on the weekends are go, go, go, go, go.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
They love it. And, you know, the one advantage to that style is you blink and the day's over. And sometimes you just want the day to be over. Am I right? Am I right?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But doesn't that sort of resonate? And then I'm arguing for those people now. So you get to that feeling quicker. And also when you do look back at your day, you're like, oh, I did all this stuff. So you can feel good about that, too.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Oh, don't you – isn't there an allure to get to 9 p.m. like many a day? Yeah.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
These are the good days. Well, we're getting to that point that I'm getting nervous of we are going to be craving so much more time with them that they are not going to be craving for us.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Those people are doing stuff with their kids, though. you're just saying you would prefer to be with your kids you're basically like i'm at the bar and my kids are here you're not like using one example i think in your head everyone's going to a bar with their kids on the weekends like what are you talking about like what the fuck i don't know i feel like people are
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Those people are, you know, they're getting drunk and they're not paying attention. And sure, the kids are playing, you know, a board game at the bar. But is that cool? You know, who's watching the kids?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Wait, why do you think it's pervy? I don't know.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
What the fuck does that even mean? What the fuck? Andy. What the fuck?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Listen, that's a beautiful fantasy. But what if there was a world listeners? Is there a world that you would want us every day? And no, we would do it. We'd have to record it. We'd have to produce it. We'd have to upload it. It would take up most of our day, to be honest. And the other things, the hour a day is a fantasy. But maybe that would be fun.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
That's you being pervy because I wasn't being pervy at all.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay. You have two options for your road out of this hell. Are you ready? One is I'm going to make you cry. All right. And the other is I'm going to gross you out. So what sound? Your eyes are already a little watery. Do you want to just get the tears out now? Or do you want to be grossed out first?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, because I am going to make you cry.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay. And I'm not saying that in a malicious way. I'm already about to cry. I'm not saying that in a malicious way.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay, I do want to talk about something that I'm going to bring it up and you're going to be like, I don't want to talk about this. But I wanted to talk to you about it before something adjacent to it happened. Okay. That was really bad. Okay. And that you're not going to want to talk about. But don't think I'm bringing this up just because I want to talk about that.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I wanted to talk about this before that happened. That's confusing. So I went to the mall the other day and I got five guys. The burger joint.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Two things happened. I'm going to get to the thing that I was curious to ask you about, and then I'll get to what happened in our lives together. But Five Guys, they give you the meal in a brown paper lunch bag, right? There's no trays. It's just a brown old school bag. And their fries are really good. But they're pretty greasy. And that bag gets greasy. So envision a greasy brown paper bag.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I always have this dilemma when I get five guys, whether it's at the restaurant or the mall or whatnot. So I'm looking for my seat at the mall food court, and it's gross. Because, you know, there's just, like, people's crap everywhere. Can I stop you right there? Yeah.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
No, let me... Give me a second to explain myself.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
No, no. That's what you don't understand. And I'll get to that. Okay. And number one, just because I'm going to Five Guys, I know you like to judge people so harshly. That doesn't mean I'm a monster and I'm not going to clean up my crumbs and like... I'm not judging anyone. But you're saying I'm... You're saying I'm at the food court getting five guys.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Who am I to judge people leaving these messes at all these tables?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
OK, if you go into those people are leaving those messes because they go to that food court.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Maybe that's a fair point, but I still wish that people would clean up for, I wish people would clean up after themselves more.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
That is signaling make a fucking mess.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I don't need to get – let's not get into the kitchen, please.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Anyways. So what I'm thinking about while I'm eating this lunch is, God, these tables are so dirty. And I wish I had a tray to put down because the paper bag.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, this is my question for you. What is the porousness of a brown paper bag that's greasy? If I put bag down on table and there's loose fries at the bottom of the bag, which always happens with Five Guys, are those fries in some way actually touching table even though there's greasy brown bag? Or is that greasy brown bag enough of a layer between the fries or the fries touching the table?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Are you being, are you just trying to be funny or do you think maybe that's.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
A possibility. Cause I do think there's, it's now we're getting into.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay. Now forget about grease for a second. If there was, can I make it really gross just for a second to prove my point? You had your favorite meal ever. You're stranded on a desert island and there's a plate of your favorite meal, okay? And someone comes over and puts a poop in a brown paper bag on top of the meal, okay?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And then there's also a poop in a Ziploc bag on top of the food and you have to pick one of the plates.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Now, is it because there genuinely is a difference?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Or is it all just in our heads? There's no protection when the paper bag is there.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay. So here's where I'm going. While I'm eating Five Guys, I am a little stressed out. Like, God, it's kind of gross that these fries are touching the table essentially. But I still want some of those fries and I have a couple and I'm kind of getting grossed out.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Here's what's wrong. And this might be my last trip ever to Five Guys. and I should have known better.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Can we reassess after I tell you the story?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Because I should have known better.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I know you did. I should have known better. Here's why. I could have prevented this, I think, from happening. It's not because the fries in my mind went through, the germs went through the bag. I don't think my fries got contaminated by table. Okay. Because of the porous bag.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I'm eating the burger. I like Five Guys. So I've had many of these burgers in my life. Something ain't right with this burger.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And I'm thinking like, did they change the patties or something? Yeah. I just should have stopped eating the burger because this was not a regular Five Guys burger. Something was kind of off.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah. Well, and so here's the thing. It didn't taste bad. That's a big thing. If there's something you like eating and you know what it tastes like and it really tastes off and bad, that's... Throw it out, right? This was – it wasn't necessarily bad. It just wasn't right, you know? Yeah. But I kept going.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So fast forward, I don't know, two or three hours. I'm out here in the studio and I had just a toot, okay? I tooted once and that toot contaminated this room in a way that almost knocked me out. And your own farts don't do that to you. You know what I mean? That's very rare. And so that was like – oh boy, something's really wrong. And I knew what had happened in that moment.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And then I went inside and I should have told you And I got ahead of it. I thought I turned the fan on and I opened the window wide open.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
What if we're just your morning commute? What if we're just the morning zoo? And look at us now. We definitely don't have anyone on staff helping us. And we are doing it daily.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Let's not make this all about you. This is a once in every two year situation where I was in pain. And yes, I destroyed the whole home. I mean, it was unbearable. And I understand that for you. Like something had happened in my body. But it was not pleasurable for me. And I was cramping.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, I was sick. I had a form of food poisoning.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Because I didn't want you to like you think you would know. See, this is what I think. I think I say I had five guys and you're like, well, there you go. Of course. Guess what? I've had five guys hundreds of times. My mistake was I had five guys and it tasted off and I should have stopped right there.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
It's good. But it's going to be a long, long time. A long time.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I was really, I think, being very rude towards... If you're going to apologize to people with any sort of piercing or that don't like to wear shoes, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But it's been a week and so far it's been such a blast.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Unshod people are people that go around barefoot.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So if you're in your 40s and you have a bad fall, it's not going to be the same as you usually die within five years if you're over 70 or 80 or something like that.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You're a big grip strength proponent. Toe strength.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
It's interesting. I'm still getting fed on shod Reddit and my Reddit. And it's kind of fascinating to watch the threads because people are like heading to England. Is it going to be cool for me in the airports and on the plane and in London while I'm there to be barefoot? And I'm like, whoa, you're really doing this. Wow, yeah.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But you're just saying, hey, it's cool to be barefoot sometimes because it helps with toe strength.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay. The fact that we're here now after, I don't know, one or two episodes of talking about this, you making these fake apologies and then rescinding them and then casting new judgments is just so rich. I don't think you understand the unshot community at all. At all. Okay.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
No. I'm going to say I'll go heart disease.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You do. Okay. I want to make you cry now. Not because this is not malicious at all. I think it's an interesting thing to talk about. But to get you there, you might well up a little bit. Okay? Okay.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Or maybe it's not weird at all where you just have the worst memory. Or we have the worst memories of all time.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay, here we go. Let me hold this up to the microphone. Ready?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
We were watching Shark Tank last night, and there was this moment where a woman was in business with her father, and she has to pause to go ask her father, kind of, is he okay? Oh, I love how emotional this is making me, but I think this is very sweet. She needs to ask if it's okay to do this deal, basically.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
A million dollars they've invested in the business.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
She's worked hard on this, though. It seems legit. She's worked hard on this.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
He's in two. Yeah, yeah. He's a partner.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So does the dad believe in this or no in your mind?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Whoa. All right. I wanted to revisit this. Because I thought you had a different take on it. I thought this was just interesting because there is just something about a father's approval in general that pulls at the heartstrings.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
There's something very special about that.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
but this is so fucked in my mind now because your backstory is like he kind of like didn't even want to like that him and the mom were didn't have any faith in it no no no oh my god no that's what you just said it actually makes it you don't understand it actually makes it more moving it's not just blind faith it's that he knowingly
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Okay, so is that the part? Okay, to me, the unconditional part isn't the heartwarming tug on my heartstrings. It's that- He's proud of her. He's proud part.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, yes. He said that before you say anything, I want to tell you how proud me and mom are.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And in that scenario, he's still proud. Are you getting emotional for the same or different reasons?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Same. Cause listen, when we saw that clip, I mean, I instantly looked at you, you were behind me and I knew you'd be crying and I was getting choked up too, because you can hear it in their voices, right? Like there's something that happens in there. To me though, I'm wondering if this resonates for you at all. And I know it's a harder thing because your parents have both passed away.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You've heard it here first. One last shill for our brand new show. If you enjoyed hearing my parents on, was it last week's episode?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So it might be a little harder to.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
When it's talking about the feelings I might get in my body, the difference between my mom saying she's proud of me versus my dad.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I'm going to get more warm and fuzzies when my dad says it.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I don't know if that's a gendered thing or whatnot. In some ways, I feel like had you maybe not even grown up with a father, you might still hold that trope higher in your mind, not even knowing what it feels like. Is there something in our society that puts a weight on the idea of the father's approval? And...
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Piggybacking on that, there's something about the father-daughter approval that takes it to the nth degree.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Go check out Nobody's News episode from Friday. The title was The Brits Are Going Bananas, Field Correspondent Malcolm Checks In. Go check out that episode. Might be a great place for you to start. Very fun. And there's an adorable check-in from my folks in that episode.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I'm sure he's super proud of you. Now, do you think that... Your dad, for example, me, for example, and just the idea of like dads not being, I'll use some real big- Super forthcoming, maybe? Yeah, I'm gonna be big generalizations here. Yeah, yeah. Not super forthcoming, not as emotionally engaged with their own emotions. Like just all of those kind of tropes.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, all of that stuff. Is that what's fueling this?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Most likely. Now, though, in a household where, let's say, it could be there's a mother that's emotionally just doesn't really acknowledge stuff or whatnot your whole life, which happens all the time. Yes. But let's say the dad does, you know, when the mom gives you that proud, does it hit the exact same way or is it still different?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
It's almost like the fathers in this cliche, there's a built-in tolerance. This is the norm, right? So then when they're proud, Where the mom, it's like, well, fuck you. Why were you never supportive?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Oh, yeah. The stoic dad crumbling. Stoic dad crumbling. Oh, it's beautiful. Oh, my God. It is beautiful. And let's be honest, too. In some versions of this, it's kind of worth it. If you never saw dad get emotional and cry your whole life, and then he starts crying when you get into medical school. Oh, my God. That's some gas to keep you going for a long time.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So good. Now, we are both saying this from a perspective to... Of having very... Supportive moms. Like the moms... Like showering us with like, could do no wrong.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
So I wonder if there are listeners here that grew up in any sort of type of version of a family, but that are like, oh no, my withholding mom. Like it was the one time she did this. I, you know.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, this comes from Kel Slays. Great handle, by the way. Joyful listener. What a delightful, insightful, all-around good time. Sad I'm out of episodes to binge, but love the excitement of seeing a new ep in my feed. Thanks to St. Monica.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, here's the thing. That's a great challenge, but I don't think he can ask for it.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, I don't even think it's cringy necessarily.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, I've always been proud. Yeah, what's the dad supposed to say?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Wow. Okay. Well, I'm glad we ended on that little journey. I hope that was okay. I wanted to talk about it.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, I know. How silly that we didn't even realize we were in that era. I know.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
No, I don't know. I might. Well, I need to give you some backstory. It's a cool movie.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Studio Ghibli movie. Now, I had bumped into the mom maybe three or four days ago, and I was asking, like, do the parents get to stay? So she might have gotten the impression from me that we wanted to stay, too. I just want you to know that. Oh, this is so embarrassing. It makes it a little bit more embarrassing.
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She wanted to accommodate us because she thought we wanted to stay where then we see all these parents just dropping their kids off. And we're like, oh, people are just getting rid of their kids.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But I'm thinking 90 percent, though.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You thought you were going to be folding laundry, doing housework.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But it ends up you were chit-chatting for three hours.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I think this happened like a few months ago and maybe I even like tried to kill it then. There's just something uppity about it or something.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I know. I don't like it. Well... I'll move on. I'll move on. I'll get over it. I don't think I will, actually. I think we've talked about texture before.
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Constantly. Careful with those words.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I'm so proud of myself. For introducing me and thanks to Elizabeth and Andy for the laughs, tears, and ahas. I'm so often on the exact same page as Elizabeth.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Give me it in a sentence, please, if you will.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Well, tough shit, I guess, for both of us, right? Yeah, I guess. You like texture. Apparently, I like, if you will. I know.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
We didn't get anywhere with this, though.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to go. We're stuck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's all you got to say. Oh, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Then we played Tetris. Played Tetris at home. Oh, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I mean. Who does that? But look, what we did are two of my favorite things and three of your favorite things. I don't really like going to bars. I don't like drinking these days.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Oh, yeah, because we played a game there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
It brings me so much joy and comfort to know someone thinks so much like me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, it's like Labyrinth meets... Not pinball, but it's something like that.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I'm good at putting little silver balls in holes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
I actually have a video of you doing it with your feet. Not that well. In my youth, I really could do it pretty well.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Why would that have anything to do with ADHD?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Oh, I will say, though, shout out to the million comments that I got about my bleeps and bloops and how I just make noises all the time. That is an ADHD thing, which makes a ton of sense.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
And hey, if you need some more stuff to listen to if you're out, we have a new daily podcast called Nobody's News that you could get a daily dose of us if you need it.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah. And I stopped, but I knew that you would hurt. I mean, now I know that you always hear any of my bleeps and bloops. Wait, why? Okay. So you were turned on watching me play ice cold beer.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
It's a good thing we had oh yeah'd before that. Why? I don't understand the math on that. You wouldn't have been able to control yourself at the bar. Is that what you're saying? There would have been an indecent exposure incident at the bar.
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You know, it was kind of embarrassing how like not turned on your acting, how proud you were acting during the game. Like I could feel you like turning around the bar to be like, is anybody seeing this?
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155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You know, but like, you know, it's funny, though, that bar used to and I couldn't find it on the you know, those the blackboards with the white letters where it had like the different beers and stuff. Yeah, there used to be it was either a high score or it was just if you got to level 10, you'd get a free beer. On ice cold beer?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Yeah, but I couldn't see it in there, which I'm wondering if too many people got really good at it. Because back in the day, I'd been to that bar where I did see someone that was like the shit at that game. So maybe too many people got too good and they were giving away too many beers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
But anyways, I could feel you feeling proud. I was.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
You were giving me like, you gave me a couple kisses while I was playing like on my cheek, which was like kind of embarrassing for some reason. Like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
We're good for like one thing a day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Now I have, are you laying that all of that resentment onto your daughter right now?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
155 - If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Fail!
Of doing a show like this, you mean?
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146 - Genius
And she's found a creative outlet. And everyone else, I mean, you and I and anyone else who's in a partnership, like, is everything going to be perfect? No, but their whole, like, realm is so different from ours. I can't even, like, really understand it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a video of hers that did, like, it makes me cringe thinking about it, which was, it was her birthday.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Have you seen this? She's opening a gift from her husband. And we all have watched her videos and known, oh, my gosh, she's raising seven children. She's like doing pirouettes in the kitchen and then cutting mozzarella. You know, it's it's incredible building this business. And she's excited. She's opening it and going, is it tickets to Greece? His dad owns an airline.
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146 - Genius
So like even tickets to Greece, I'm like, well, that's nice. Yeah. But getting very excited about the trip to Greece she wants to take. Yeah. And she opens it and it's an egg apron. Yeah. And you can see, you know, maybe we're projecting it, but she's like, oh. I mean, you can just see the disappointment and you're like, dude.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But listen, shit like that happens in every relationship where, you know, maybe not to that kind of blatant thing. But anyway, watching the Martha doc, I had the thought, you know what? I don't want to go after her or tear these women down. I think these... Pieces, analyzing it and what it means to people are important.
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146 - Genius
And it's important for women to know. That lifestyle kind of comes at a cost. It's not for everyone. In fact, it's for very few people.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But now there's lore now that our kids know about because you've done this thing so many times, which is before I met you and I was living in L.A., after going on spring break in Cabos and Lucas, I met this guy there and was partying with him. And, like, we stayed in touch after that. He flew out to L.A.
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146 - Genius
Well, that's this one I'm thinking of. I've made fun of her on this before, but she's like – Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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146 - Genius
somehow sexy like sexy as hell and also like what she's wearing is so it's are you going to a black tie event you know oh they mentioned her i think in this article she's always done up always done up very glamorous and then like acts like then 45 minutes later she's baked a loaf of bread you know done all this stuff and her children are enjoying it
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146 - Genius
That I'm like, fuck off, you know, but there is something kind of mesmerizing. I get why people watch her. My thing is, let us all know that this is not real life and nor should it be the expectation. My concern is this. This is coinciding, this trad wife, like we are stay-at-home moms. We are subservient to our husbands. We're here to blah, blah, blah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And on the flip side of it is also these women are building businesses, which they should, and they're probably making more money than their husbands.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Yeah, it is. And then it's also like there's this rise of men who now think – Well, she's doing it. And look, she loves doing it. Like, my wife needs to be that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Now, here's something I'm scared about. And we said this before. Her husband is going to run for president someday. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I knew before I was like, I think I had newly started dating someone even when he was flying out. And I was like, hey, just so you know, like you shouldn't come out because I'm dating someone. He's like, no, it's fine. I still want to come out. But he was from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And, you know, Cabo, you're drunk. You don't get to know people really.
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146 - Genius
Oh, boy, will she? But it's kind of like my I'm assuming my values and theirs don't align. And in fact, I know this. So Hannah recently was on the cover of a magazine.
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146 - Genius
Well, it's not just conservative. It's like anti-abortion propaganda to the nth degree, parading as a magazine to the degree that they sell apps or something for women that's like period tracker. Yeah. They they're they're doing the thing that we're all scared of, which is like gathering information on women and their bodies to be able to attack them. You know, that hasn't happened.
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146 - Genius
So I can't say that that's 100 percent. But like, why would an anti you know what I mean? It's it's all really sus, as the kids say. And so my fear is they look like the poster children, right, for good old fashioned American values that is on the right side of things, like becoming much more celebrated now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And if he were president and she's first lady and like they could take us so far backwards in time, that's what scares me is the politics. Interesting. But hopefully they'll be so busy with this new Six Flags ranch situation.
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146 - Genius
We wanted to thank this week's sponsor, OneSkin. The difference between OneSkin's products and others on the market is that OneSkin is formulated with the proprietary OS1 peptide. This is a peptide the four founders, who are all skin longevity scientists, developed after testing 900 other ingredients.
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146 - Genius
Hi, Andy. Hello. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. And this is like the rare evening Saturday night edition.
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146 - Genius
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146 - Genius
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146 - Genius
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But and I remember I picked him up at the airport and I was driving him back to my place because I still he stayed in a guest bedroom. But he goes, Lizzie, you're the best female driver I've ever seen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I just was at Wisconsin with the kids and they have Einstein quotes carved into the benches in the museum. And Otis was like, look at these quotes. And I don't remember what they were, but they were – Genius? Genius.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Meaning she won't turn his advances down, but she can't expect any from his.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Whoa, behavior is tough. I mean, words... Well, we all know that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, yeah. Who the fuck do you think you are, Albert Einstein?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Season five. And the Jon Hamm character is very much like the wife's duty is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I am against everything I'm about to say, but I do. I mean, our lives are so different and I would be so unfulfilled. And like, I have my own pursuits and creativities and needs. And I like having a friendship and a two way street of respect and all of that stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But there is like, I do understand in some ways just being like, oh, I, as long as I keep the house clean for him and make these meals, all's well.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
That agreement. Now, what's the agreement back? It's that you're going to go and solve all these physics problems and make tons of money and sell a million books.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
That's a great question. Let's look it up because that is interesting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
So Einstein was worth about a million when he died in 1955. So that's... That's pretty good. Like, very good for back then.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Wait, but now this is saying if he was such a genius, why didn't he get super rich from his discoveries?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Is Einstein part of Atomic Bomb? Okay. Bomb. Einstein, he supported the Allies, but not the use of atomic weapons. He was not part of the Manhattan Project.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I'm not. I don't know. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is back when you could like, I think for certain couples, and I guess maybe Hannah is one of them, but no, she's building her own thing. But let's say there weren't cameras. If she was just happy to. make these meals and raise these children. And that was her role. And his role is to just be the rich son of a JetBlue executive.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Do you not think about Cunnilingus every time you hear Aer Lingus?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Oh, don't act like, I mean, you're such a germaphobe. There's no world. There's no world. There's no world. None. We've talked about how it's like, maybe this trend is over, but- No, I think it's very much happening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Because I know one of my friends- Of the city. When she was out there dating, and this was probably five years ago.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It was like – that's part of what went down when you would get to the hookup section. Yeah. God, it would turn me – I would become a – Would you just say it would turn me out?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It would turn me into like a not-dater. It would turn me into like a hermit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Lizzie, you're the best female butt I've ever ate. So what were you talking about?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Earlier today I did something and I thought, I have wished you were there, but I also thought you might die of embarrassment.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I wanted to know, did you feel embarrassed when I was gone today?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, your own embarrassment because of me. But I'm embarrassed... To be married to me, basically.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
You're embarrassed about something you did, which is that you married me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I... A new friend of mine in my Mahjong circle has been talking about – now, this person is not partaking in anything right now. But how she kind of stopped drinking, like what we were talking about, how you were stopping drinking kind of or pulling back on it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Because she also didn't like the way it made her feel, and she had been starting to take little micro doses of mushroom chocolate, which is kind of all the rage, and I can't believe I've never even tried it. Yeah. But the way she and my other friend were describing it was like, you do not feel...
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146 - Genius
different at all right you literally it just puts you in a good mood and she said she's had friends who were like severely depressed and started doing this frequently like at the end of the day and it's lifted things for them in such a big way and I was like oh that's cool now I'm not severely depressed but like sounds fun yeah yeah and also I have been feeling lately it's like the holidays coming up or here I guess yeah
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146 - Genius
A pull to have a drink frequently, like at night. Yeah. And, you know, I don't. I probably have a drink once or twice a week. But this, like, yearning for it is kind of freaking me out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Almost like, ooh, this could maybe just the sensation of it. I'm like, I don't like that it's happening to me all the time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And it's an escape for sure. It's not like, I don't know. I'm like, oh, I want to turn off my brain. So I'd like a drink now. Maybe I should try this chocolate.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It's a specific chocolate bar, though, called Magic Kingdom. And you have to order it. It's very expensive online. So it's expensive to ship also. It's like the same amount for the bar to ship it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
So she said she's seen them around a few different dispensaries in LA. So on my way to Target, I stopped by a dispensary.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Now, I've never been in one. Okay. Okay. I didn't know that you have to, like, register and give your blood, basically.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Ooh, okay. Well, before we do, just want to give a big thanks to our sponsor of this episode, One Skin, the world's first skin longevity company. By focusing on the cellular aspects of aging, One Skin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. For a limited time, get 15% off. Use code NLR when you check out at oneskin.co.
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146 - Genius
Well, when I was walking up, first of all, a security guard came out. And I go, oh, whoa. I'm in the wrong place.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
He looked at me and he goes, are you looking for the dispensary? And I go, yeah, thinking he's going to go. It's down around the corner. Jesus Christ. He goes, you're in the right place. Go in. You just need to register. I go, oh, I need to register? And he said, yep. And so I went up to the thing, and she was very nice. She said you get 20% off. I'm like, great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Now, I just wanted to pop in and give a quick look-see-loo, but now I'm – Committed.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
So I pop into the main event. And I'm like looking around and it's fun. There are a couple, there are like four employees in there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And you were talking about would you rather – oh, maybe this is our Patreon episode. Would you rather MIT or Harvard? And I said MIT is the type of person who's going to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's move along from the Nibble Ring thing. I feel like it's really taking up a lot of real estate up there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Okay. So we, I'm looking, but I'm really just there for one thing. And so I finally turned and said to one of the guys, do you have any, I'm looking into like micro dosing some mushroom chocolate. He goes, oh, and I go, oh, do you not sell mushrooms? And he goes, no. And I go, oh, okay. So just the weed. And then I go, cannabis.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I thought if you were there, you would have disowned me. And I literally... like turned bright red with embarrassment. Now he could have responded in a way that would have made it less embarrassing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I left immediately. And I left and I left. I said, thank you to the security guard. And I was like, I'm out of there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Wait, but my friend said she bought these bars at dispensaries.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
This holiday season, invest in your skin's long-term health because healthy aging is a gift. That's oneskin.co. Use code NLR.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, if anyone from Magic Kingdom Mushroom Bars wants to hook us up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I was born to break the law. Am I a law-abiding citizen? No. Not when it comes to my drugs.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, I did think, like, so there were six people in that place.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I was thinking like, they probably think I'm kind of having a, I'm, you know, cannabis curious or something, or like I'm having some kind of breaking point or I'm going through. What at this point at 45 years old sent this lady on a Saturday morning into here, clearly not knowing anything about anything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I know. Well, I'm like, did they actually have them, and he didn't think I was cool enough?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, these bars look, I mean, their website looks very legit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
There's not really much information, but it looks very fun. I wonder what it would be like. That's like my dream is to have a little just piece of chocolate and it puts you in a happy... You couldn't control it because you would like the chocolate and then you would start getting fucking... That would disappear.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It's too far away, and I actually moved it away because she was in here, and I didn't want her to feel embarrassed that her button's right there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I made her wait for 30 seconds outside. I asked her if the door was open. Could she come in? But, and, like... I got to 224.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And I, you know, we can't rewrite history. I don't know. But I would imagine I might have gotten even further.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, she was there on time. Like, I was, you know, nothing against her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
You laughed in such a way that Monica was like, oh, God, this lady is way off.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
really really good and can you just for for our listeners say where do i really shine
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
You have seen when I'm at the tippy top and most people would be like, oh, it's over.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I'm not trying to score. But I'm saying... I'm trying to clear.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, I would bet $1,000 that we're both getting it wrong. Lizzie, you're the best dishwasher and loader I've ever seen. Female. Well, they all are female, really, where I'm from. Anyway, so, yes. I think you gave me a lot of props. It might be a disappointing reveal that all I'm doing simply is instead of having them flat upside down.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I think I sound very conceited this episode because I'm talking about how efficient I am and how I'm such a good driver for females.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And also how I'm bragging to Monica that I'm a world record holder after I rudely make her wait outside in the cold air.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, the truth is, and I said this to Monica, you know, I love her. There aren't that many people I feel comfortable treating that badly because I know that we have like a, you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It's a close friend family situation. Friends and family. But the other thing I was going to say is... I forgot it. Well, anyway.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, I kind of would be that way if I didn't know Tetris. You know, you always got to put yourself in other people's shoes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Just being like... Sometimes... Being like, you're going to wait for me because I'm doing this stupid thing. I mean, this is exactly what I did to Monica. Like, we had agreed on this time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Like, saying my time doing this dumbass thing is more important than your time standing outside.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Right, right, right. Well, I remember the reverse is also true because I remember when our kids were little and when you have little kids, like everything is and it has to be your entire everything is folded in up and around that. And I remember talking to people who had kids who were eight, nine, ten.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And that seems like so far away and so not interesting. And like eight, nine and 10 year olds, like I've got a, this human being's about to start walking.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
That is funny. Okay, I wanted to very quickly discuss, just real fast, any takeaways from the Waste documentary we watched last week?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Okay. I am excited to speak to you as though no one's listening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
buy now the shopping conspiracy that was very eye-opening yeah and i think right after i watched it i was like well i'm done with amazon i mean since then i've ordered about it's christmas so yeah 10 12 things on amazon but what was your what were your big thoughts on that
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
He was saying Adidas at first. And I was like, oh, I guess I had it wrong all this time. And then he said Adidas. And I was like, well, pick a lame dude. It's like Madonna with her faux British accent. Sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Yeah, I wonder how many times they masturbated to all of the, like... transitions that they did between stories because woo they really got into it yeah too much and it was a little too much for my taste too much Too much plastic in this earth.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Top rack where water accumulates on the little lip that's like underneath it so that then when you're done with the dishes, if you flip them over, there's water, water everywhere. It accumulates all the dirty dishwasher water. Yeah. I simply turned it into a little skateboard ramp and I tilted up against the front of the dishwasher top rack basket.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
There was also a lot that was kind of like, the stuff you're doing isn't really helping all that much. Recycling. Recycling. The one thing, I'm like, humans, we are so stupid. Yeah. There's this massive problem with pollution, and we all go and think we're recycling our whatevers or clothes or whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It ultimately just gets shipped around the earth, causing 10 times more pollution than if we just threw it in our own landfills. It's no good. I don't know enough about what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to condone not attempting to recycle and stuff, but there...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
The fact that someone hasn't stepped in and said, there have got to be 75 better ways to do this than how we're doing it, is just so indicative of what a bunch of bubbling idiots... But they didn't even... We're frogs boiling in a pot and we're the ones... Who lit the match.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I know. Had they spent some of that money they put on those graphics and stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
No, no, no. It is very eye-opening. It's interesting. And it does, I'm like, intending to... Definitely shop. I said after that I want to shop local more. I want to go to the store and buy stuff as much as I can instead of relying on Amazon and all the stuff that we do. Plastic, I want to be much more. We were doing Who Gives a Crap toilet paper, which only uses paper.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Every, yeah. You know what? There's like no perfect way, of course, but it's good to be mindful. But you're right. Someone needs to figure out some better ways of doing it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, one thing, though, that I think it did drive home, and we've talked about this and this is something I think we can feel very proud of, is we don't buy a lot of clothes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And when we do buy clothes, I think I much prefer, because I don't have space for it and I tend to wear things a lot, buy really high quality, spend a little bit more money. I'm not doing fast fashion like Shine. Sheen. Some of those stores I had never even been to or Sheen. Yeah. Zara, I have bought some things for the kids over the years. But in general, we don't need so much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And it creates a little ramp for the water to fall down. And it gives more space in the top rack. And it's a beautiful thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I can see you thinking this is going to be so funny. Because it is funny. It's kind of funny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, yes. I think my takeaway was we can all stand to consume less.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Yeah, that's what happens. And I think it was Sheen, the, you know, H&M and Old Navy and all of these fast fashion places, they talk about, and Zara, talk about how many new products are released every year. Sheen was something like 130 million. I mean, the amount is absolutely. Styles.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
You just have to know exactly the height. But guess what? If I were to pass away, which I will someday.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, that's not fair since we're talking about how great I am at it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, it's a two-way street here. But do you think something I pride myself in, and I don't know that you either know this about me or appreciate it, is how efficient I am.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Yeah. And part of that is like this dishwasher thing. I saved time by figuring this little hack out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Oh, this is tough. Well, first of all, we've discussed like, you seem upset. No, no, no. Okay. Here's the thing. We've discussed, we role played this the other day. Remember I was on the couch and you were in the kitchen and I said, if I died and it had been a full year and you finally had pulled yourself out of the deep sadness that you've had to kind of fake it through for the kid's sake. Sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And you were on a date with someone and you realized, you know what? No one's going to be as awesome as Elizabeth. Right. But this bird here is like 85%. Yeah. You know, she's fun, funny. I'm attracted to her. Not in all of those departments, not to what you are with me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And you think, it's never going to be as good as what it was. But it's nice to have a companion. Yes, that I am all for. You can get married. She can never be the kid's mom, obviously.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Well, if you're married to her, I think they're going to meet her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But they're never calling her. Well, I guess that's between her and them. I want her to be nurturing to them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I'd rather that than – no, I can't say what I'm about to say. Say it. This is just me being human. I'm sure that from whatever other realm where I'm my best version of myself, I would want your pure happiness. Okay. But right now in my human form, I don't want you falling head over heels in love with someone and going, oh my gosh, this is what I was missing all along. Oh, of course. I finally...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
I thought I was at the peak of this mountaintop, but there was a whole other bigger mountain range behind that that I couldn't even see until I pushed my wife off that mountaintop and she died hitting every tree branch on the way down.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Do you think it would be awkward for her to, like, discover your...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
Like, I don't think you or I have a chance. It would have to be the world's most, like, secure person. Because think about it. It's like watching, I mean, you get such insight into the person that your partner is. Past relationship?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But that's what you think is sexy? Yeah. Ampersand. Ampersand. It does.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
My first question is, is the person doing this piece a man or a woman?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
But the effort thing, remember, in the other piece, I mean, honestly, the most scathing thing out of the other piece, which was a quote from the husband, was sometimes she's so exhausted she can't get out of bed for a week.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
That's something. And I'm not saying he's doing that to her. I mean, she very well could be doing that to her. She's Juilliard trained. She puts a lot of pressure on herself. But I kind of, you know, we watched the Martha doc.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
It's so funny that, like, growing up, there was, for me, and we'll get to this if anyone's listening in a minute. But there was always this banter between my parents and a joke about my mom's, like, first boyfriend.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And it was interesting watching that. I thought about Hannah while we were watching that because Martha was kind of the original Hannah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And now I think like, do I think Martha Stewart is like a warm, fuzzy, good person? It doesn't matter. It's like neither here nor there. That's not really what the people's issue is with her. Or actually, it probably is that. And it's the fact that she's this woman who is acing all of these issues.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
traditional feminine roles but then building a billion dollar empire and not being passive apologetic like yeah you know all of these attributes that we normally celebrate in men on her we find deeply offensive maybe not now but definitely back when she was blowing up that was what was going on right And it made me think about Hannah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
And ultimately, I don't fault her for what she's doing and putting out there. I kind of fault all the people around her. And I think this probably includes a lot of men who look at her and go, that is the ideal woman. That is the ideal thing. And this trad wife thing. Now, there are other trad wives.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
146 - Genius
There's one, I don't even know her name, but she's like, she does the one where you're like, I dislike her. And I think she's like making. See, it's hard. I even hate... I'm like, why do I dislike her? But I think she's exploiting a certain thing about womanhood and femininity and being subservient and conservative. Whereas I think that Hannah... Does live this. For sure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, I was going to say, felines sleep a lot. Yeah, so a lion or a cat. But this is tough.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I mean, they do have predators, don't they?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Ew. Sorry to be so gross. And also, like, to each their own. But one thing about sex is I know how you feel about this. If someone's having multiple partners, you would want them to wrap it up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
That's like, I feel like I've had friends go, you are so photogenic. And like looking through pictures like, oh my God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, but it's more like you're so photogenic and meaning like you look so much better in these pictures than you do in real life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So do you want to hear the details that I haven't told you yet about how I avoided within an inch of my life joining a cult? Yes. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So our child really, really, really wanted to take some Tai Chi.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I have no idea why. Basically, I think he's been looking for what he wants to do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
One of his best, best friends does karate. Karate.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And goes to a dojo nearby that we took the kids to when they were teeny tiny. Oh, yeah. And I do have to say, I mean, of course, he was like two or three, but it wasn't Otis's thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And so then I was like, oh, would you want to do karate, like so-and-so? And he was like, no. And I think that got him on the kind of martial arts wagon wheel. And then he landed on wanting to do Tai Chi. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Which, if anyone has a lead for, like, Tai Chi classes for kids or just Tai Chi classes where kids can go in Los Angeles, I'd love to hear it because the one lead I had turns out to be not our kind of place. So... I looked, and I looked pretty hard to find, and I found one in kind of an obscure area, and I thought, okay, I call. And I should have trusted my first kind of do-do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But the woman was very, very nice. But I got the sense she was driving and it was like she pulled over.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yes. And also English is her second language and some of her English was very hard to understand. So there was some stuff getting lost in translation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, I said, is it okay if my son and I come and take a trial class? Okay. Now, first of all, on the website, it's like you can take a free trial class. Okay. She said, yes, you two can come, but you have to do an introductory lesson.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, I guess. But like, if you're talking to a friend and they're like, I'm hopping from box to box. It's like you're using rubbers, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I was like, okay. And it was $80. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
For both of us. And so it's private. And I'm like, okay, I guess that's fine. And then if we want to take the classes, then we can. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
We're not overly burdened with disposable income right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
However, it was very, very hard for me to find somewhere where we could try the Tai Chi. And this kid versus our other kid who's doing all these activities and classes, like the amount of money we've spent on classes, that's how I justified this. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah, an introductory. And what I thought that meant was that she was going in and then she says she's the teacher. And I'm like, OK. And then I said, well, can we pay for the class after the class or when we get there? And she said, no, no, I'll take your information now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Are you serious? Yeah. Well, I'll have you know a couple things. One is I am learning my lesson. I've learned it. You don't give your credit card over the phone ever anymore? No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, trust that it's rare for me too. But this, I called the number to the Tai Chi place. It's like, has a presence online. You know, there are Google reviews and stuff like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So I'm speaking to her. She's going to teach. Like, she was very accommodating and asking questions. But I also thought an introductory class means, like, she's going to be teaching us, like, basics that we will need to know to take classes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So then she texts right after with the receipt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Okay. That makes you feel any better. And then she texts me the information for the class. The day before the class, she texts me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And you know what I'm talking about. You always say wrap it up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, she did send me. Anyway. But I will say all of the business and I actually do need to check my credit card statement now. Like the business element of it was very kind of confusing and over the top. Yeah. I found it weird that she wanted to take my credit card information and like needed my payment a week before we're going in or whatever it was.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Okay. So we get there. It's in like a strip mall. Fine. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It's definitely, unlike the kind of hipster Pilates and yoga studios that I'm used to in L.A., it's much more, almost feels more like community-centered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But I get there, and our teacher, I'm going to call her Joy, welcomes us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And it's so interesting because our kid, like, can sense things.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Just shuts down in like such an instant way where he had been so excited.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But she first like has us pull up chairs to the desk that is like also the office.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And starts to ask us questions that seem not relevant at all. And to the degree that I'm like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah. I mean, address, not social security number.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, just that Cody is going from wife to wife to wife.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, she's entering it all because she's having us sign, like, waivers. First of all, she has me fill out paperwork and sign a waiver. And it's also, like, kind of medical. It's like, do you have any of these ailments and stuff like that? I guess I can sort of see that. It's one of these, like, blend places. And I start looking around.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It's not an exercise place. It's a wellness center.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I know. But to know that that, and I'm sure, I'm guessing it's probably uncut. Not that, you know, you got to take extra care. He's going from wife to wife. Wife to wife is really a lot to deal with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
She's the only human being I saw. Okay. So she has us fill out this paperwork. Then she's, like, chatting with us to the degree. I'm like, are we actually going to do Tai Chi? My son was so stoked to come and try Tai Chi. Okay, so we then go into the room. And it is, like, a huge, cool room meant for Tai Chi and yoga and stuff like that. It has this, like, spongy floor that's very cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And so we go and we start doing it, but... I'm like really confused by what we're doing. There's very little explanation. There was a lot of stuff about, I think it was tensai or something, which is the energy being in our core, which is basically like the area between your belly button and your pubic bone.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I think it's bigger too. Mm-hmm. But anyway, that's what she's having us focus on and we're doing. I'm like, can we just, are we learning anything? Basically, I felt very duped. Like I paid $80 for us to take this Tai Chi kind of class. But I'm like, is this what a class is? There's no information being shared. There's no, I don't know. It was really odd.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I did enjoy kind of the flow of it, but I was checking in on Otis and I was like, is he okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
To his credit, he, like, went with it and did a really good job. And she was very effusively, like, good job, you know, giving him compliments about, like, following it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But then there was, like, a lot of hands-on stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I, we were on mats at this point in time.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And it was weird because we were like feet to feet.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yes. Okay. So I couldn't like keep my eyes on him.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And she was coming to each of us and like putting her hands on, like she was putting her hands on basically where my womb area is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Like above my pubic bone, underneath my belly button, the core area. And we're doing these breathing exercises. Okay. But then she goes over to Otis and is doing that. And I look up and from my vantage point, she's like way too close to his private area.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I sat there and in my head I'm going, like, and I truly genuinely do not believe that she meant for that to be the case. I don't think she was, like, trying anything here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Is saying something going to make Otis more uncomfortable? Is he uncomfortable? And then I was like, no. If my kids are ever feeling uncomfortable, I want to model for them that it's always okay to say. So I said, please move your hands up. And she was like, oh, is there a reason why? And I said, because they're too low. And then she was like, is this okay?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I said, yeah, I wish I had just said, can you please not touch him? But in the moment, I was like, the whole experience was kind of throwing me for a loop. Yeah. So we finish it up and then she was like, Otis, you can like play around here. I'm going to talk to your mom. And I thought, oh no, is this going to be about that or what? And we go outside and this is when the sales pitch starts.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I'm so excited to talk with you for an hour as if no one's listening. I am curious, though. Are any ears out there hearing us?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I'm looking around and the signage, a lot of it doesn't sit quite right with me. There's a lot of stuff about like, if you're feeling... tiredness pain things like that it could be that your body's like healing emotional stuff through this tai chi or yoga or whatever it is okay but i'm like what if someone's feeling tiredness and pain because they have fucking cancer
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And they're coming here and they're reading the sign and going, oh, that's what it is. I'm just like, my body's getting used to Tai Chi.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It seemed to be like life in general. And it was like, please tell one of our practitioners so that they can diagnose if it's you doing Tai Chi or if it's something more serious.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
We don't know. Okay. So this is where I'm a little hung up on it, and I want to ask your advice. So she's talking to me, and then she was like, so you can get a month pass or you can get this. It's like $300. And I was like, no, you know, my head is spinning. And I said, you know what? I want to talk to him about it and see if it's something we want to do. That's the move.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And then she said, or you could... sign up for a trial class, which is $25 each. And I was like, okay, because I wanted to see what it, in my mind, I was like, let's see what a class is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No. No. Well, she also had me staying there because she was like, okay, I need you to sign this paperwork. I'm like, I don't even know. This was not my finest hour. And I signed stuff. I don't know what I signed. It was all very weird. But since then, I've been getting emails. And I hit unsubscribe. And it sent an email. It drafted an email for me that said, please unsubscribe me from this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I pressed send and I was like, okay, I guess this is how they do it. And I get an email back that says, Elizabeth, you can unsubscribe. Just scroll down to the bottom and hit the thing that says unsubscribe. And I wrote back, I did that. And when I did, it drafted this email. Like, this is what I'm talking about. This place is like, there's too much paperwork. There's too much going on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Okay. What subject would you like to discuss today, Andrew? Does it have something to do with medieval art or some scientific discoveries about the genesis of flowers? Or I'm trying to think of really highfalutin.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I really do think it's like a cult maybe. But now I think I need to... I'm... I've paid for the class and because I'm cheap, I'm like, I kind of want to go see. Or do we just eat it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Oh, well, yeah, I'm not going to. But yeah, yeah, this is so interesting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
You know what? In my mind, you going, why did you do the $50 thing – I almost just felt like it was worth the $50 to not have to deal with anything, which I know is not true. But in that moment where I was like, I want to get Otis out of here, this feels like a lot was getting lost in translation. It was hard to communicate. Sure, sure. And have you ever belonged to a gym before?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It really reminded me. It's a high-stakes salesy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I've heard of that. And in fact, I had a flashback to when I was much, much, much younger. It might have even been in New York or I don't remember. But I went to do a trial, like to try out a gym. You get a free pass for a week and you get one training session.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
The training session guy clearly was so trained himself to make me feel like shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And they do your body fat and stuff. And by the way, I mean, my mindset has changed immensely since then. But I was very much in the, like, I want to be skinny. You know, having body fat is bad. And he was like, so you're obese. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't think I am. Am I? You know? And he's like, yes, you are technically in the obese range.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And then he would have me do – and clearly could tell that bummed me out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And kept harping on it. And like, well, you know, obesity is blah, blah, blah and giving me all these stats and stuff. And then the exercises, if I could do them, he would like – Basically make them exponentially harder. Be like, that's what I thought. Right, right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Had me in my car crying after this. I'm sorry, that sucks. But then you sign up and it is like you're in a fucking car place sitting down. Come to the office with me. I'm like signing my life away. Mm-hmm. And then if you don't, I mean, if you want to quit, it's goddamn nightmare. You know, that's why I don't see myself ever joining a gym again, because it's just you're in it for life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
The signage and this, like the paperwork of it and that, like, I'm used to places where you get a class pass and you show up for a day. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I just want to take my kid to some fucking Tai Chi classes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I trust her. This is all also, like... I don't think, like, the hand placement thing, I actually, I don't think there was anything nefarious. I think she was just there trying to do her best, honestly. But I think her understanding of, you know... It might have been, this might have been like her first week. I have no idea. You know, like there was too much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Maybe she just had a big talking to, like, we're going to have to close down if you don't bring in. Yeah. I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It was such a shame because Otis and I both enjoyed the like flow part of the Tai Chi and I could see it being so wonderful for him. And he loves how like calming it was. But I mean, we got in the car and he was like, that was weird.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I was like, that's a great way of saying it. That was weird.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I think you're right. I think we move on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I know. But I knew you'd appreciate me feeling like I almost joined a cult. Listen, I could have been out $300. Well, that is the thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I don't like that feeling, though. And it bums me out that even at 45 and even on behalf of our kid... That feeling of you're kind of getting pushed into something. And I'm calibrating as I'm going, like, what is the cost-benefit analysis here of doing this? Or, you know, and not to over-dramatize this, but it has a feeling of...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Similar to the voiceover coach I went to in New York, who I paid thousands of dollars to him to what I found out later was basically was grooming me to assault me and never was teaching me. I thought about him the other day and I got so fucking pissed. And I had something happen recently in work where... A man, there was a project getting set up and a man said something stupid.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I don't think he meant anything by it, but like it ruined the whole project. And in the case of the voiceover coach, I was like, not just me, but there were, you know, 40 to 60 other women that I knew of. Yeah. Who could have had... I mean, some of them did go on to have careers in voiceover, which hats off to them. For me, it just, like, stopped it in the tracks. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But could have had careers in voiceover instead of this guy using all of us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And taking our money while he did it. It's horrible. But, like... Very different from this experience, but this similar kind of spidey sense as you're going along the way of, I don't like this, but I'm overthinking it and I should trust this person.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And is he with the zoo or is he with the United States Postal Service?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, actually, I mean, speaking of the voiceover coach, um, That was his whole thing. And that was me going, oh, I can't, you know, him pushing these boundaries. And it was like, and one thing, oh, you need to sound sexy to sell this and another thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
To sound sexy, you have to feel sexy. Right, right. You have to be uncomfortable to make progress.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yes. But it bummed me out that I even had to have that after having that experience and like many others.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Where, like, I'm uncomfortable and I want to say something, but I don't. That I even, when it comes to my kids, that I would even, like, pause for a second.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I do want to say, I think in this case.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Like I'm talking about the kind of inner monologue I had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think from Otis's perspective, I was very matter of fact, like, please move your hands.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So I can take that as well. Sometimes it's like just doing things. It's so exhausting. Yeah. I just wanted to take a goddamn Tai Chi class.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And is it like, is it like strip mall?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I thought your love for flamingos was born from when the kids were really little. You took them to the zoo, and you guys spent a lot of time at the flamingos, and you had a real special connection with one flamingo named Nancy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And like people were pushed to the side kind of. Yeah. Like he he did. He was navigating. He was navigating. But in such an aggressive. It was a choice.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And by the way, best chicken you've had.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And it's maybe a Michelin chef? That's what someone in the line said. Former Michelin chef?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Oh, dirty. Are you kidding? I feel like you've been talking about CrossFit for weeks.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And all these fucking chicken eaters. I'm here. I'm starving, first of all. I can't eat enough because... You know, I have gone from like 350 to 195 in the last two years. And I have CrossFit to thank for that. His name's Derek. And Derek's like, and all these fucking assholes out here who are waiting for fried food think the sidewalk belongs to them?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And then Nancy has remained part of our lives ever since.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I wonder if the other CrossFitters, the ones who are on the gravel, talk about him. They're like, I don't want to go running with Derek again. Like he always does that thing where he's going through the whole crowd. Last time there was a cute, adorable little kid that he almost knocked over. Like, what is his problem? And you heard he's been juicing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
He's been shooting steroids. I saw him in the men's bathroom and one of the mirrors, the many mirrors that CrossFit has put up. Well, one of the things that I saw was, yeah, there was a syringe. And I think his roid rage.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah. He's upset. Are we really going to go running with him again? Let's just do it one more time. And like, it's just a matter of time before he pushes some kid over and they, it turns into a thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
So much rage. Okay. Well, I was the person who had raged this morning since we're talking about people who suck.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I love our UPS store. So I'm there. I'm like getting out of my car and this woman next to me is getting tons of stuff out of her car. And I was like, oh, no, I literally have one Amazon thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But I was like, it would be rude at this. I would it would be so obvious that I'm like trying to charge ahead of her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah. So I'm waiting in line behind her. The guy who's checking her out is so nice. Like two items in to what ended up being, it could have been 12 or it could have been like 40. I don't know because this experience was so crazy. Her phone rings.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
This motherfucker answers her phone on speaker while the guy is checking her out. And it's not just checking her out. She's on the speaker. She has to find the code to scan for each item.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
This experience, which was already too long, turns into the longest... I mean, I went through every stage of grief. I went through every stage of like... At first, you know, I went through finding it hilarious to being more outraged than I have ever been in my life to lines forming behind me. And I'm looking back at them like looking for someone to be in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yes, but I was like – Oh, fuck. I definitely did a few of the like –
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
You are a sire. And like jingled my keys a little bit. I'm like, what the fuck? Okay, so the other crazy thing that was going on here was the phone call was from someone, and I think it's a family member. Okay. Talking about how to change – like, there's some issue changing her tickets, her flight tickets international, because she bought them using miles. Okay. And how they're going to change it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And, like, a conversation that – I also got so frustrated for this person because at one point he was getting annoyed with her and she was like, no, I'm just at UPS returning some stuff. And I wanted to be like, she's actually at the counter. Like she's not like in line.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, what was funny was that the guy she's talking to is getting annoyed with her because she's taking the call while she's also distracted. And she kept being like, ugh. And I wanted to say to her, like, bitch, two things. One. Actually, three. Don't go up with 45 items when someone behind you has one. Let that person go. Yeah. Two, don't take a fucking call. Like, do you know how rude this is?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And three, he's explained to you so clearly that the issue is that you purchased it with miles. And so it's not going to be as easy of a transfer as you were hoping. Yeah. Like, she was pissing everyone off. And at the end of it—and God bless the guy checking her out. He just, like, kept his head down and did his thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But there were times where we were waiting a long time for her because she was, like, doing seven things at once to get the next item up and get the barcode and stuff like that. Anyway, she walked out of there, and I was like— So ready to give her a look that I thought would shatter glass. But she knew to keep her head down and not make eye contact with a single person. Oh, God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I could not believe the gall. It is gall.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Right? And honestly, I wouldn't have been stewing. I was prepared for that. I was like, well, this is the way the cookie crumbled today. God. And it made me think the guy kept his cool so much who was working there, like he must see just the dregs of humanity coming through that UPS. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He must see the most awful behavior.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And she was, like, you know, I could just tell the way she's, like, pulling the stuff out. Like, she's, like, one of those people who just orders a ton of shit. Yeah. Doesn't take care of anything. Like, it's just, like, throwing stuff out willy-nilly, and it's all, like, probably, I don't know, not in good shape whatsoever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, to be clear, when you take stuff from Amazon, it doesn't need to be.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
A whole different thing. I know what you're saying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But have your QR code ready. Please. Please have your QR code ready. Anyway, this was fun.
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163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah, you know what? We haven't had like a vent episode in a while. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I think. Maybe I'm wrong. Let's actually, though, let's end on one uplifting note.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I want you to share, well, you shared Helen Ray's, but I want you to share a product that you're excited about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Oh, because there are no flamingo eggs? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And I want to share one. I recently, for our daughter's birthday, bought Trader Joe's Sparkling Limeade product.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Because you weren't really there for the party. Was that when you took Otis to Helen Rice?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Have fun. So it is so delicious and such a treat and not too sweet at all. I don't know who's in charge of bevies over there at Trader Joe's, but between that and the ginger, lemon, apple cider vinegar canned sparkling drink and this, they are crazy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Maybe they got a new person up there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And also I'm sure the safety in numbers has something to do with like you need a fellow flamingo body to like put your body weight against if there's danger because they're only on one leg.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, it was I mean, again, the gall.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
To do that when you're their whole thing is the crispy cookie.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And they do it very well. I love the Tate's. I'm not a huge crispy cookie, but I do love theirs. It's high quality. You can taste the real butter. It's delicious. So you came home with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I haven't tasted a processed chocolate chip cookie that awful than the soft-baked Tate's. And it literally says on the package, approved by the founder.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
It is. And to see a brand built up, you know, we've watched Tate's come to life in front of our very eyes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And this is one of those things, like, the founder of Tate's knew what they were doing, built it up into this mega brand.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And then it turns out that they don't have good taste at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
This was probably like five years ago or something. Okay, okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
See, I actually think it's like, because it's thin and not too big, it's kind of the perfect, like, afternoon snack cookie where you're just like... They used to be bigger, though.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
The soft bake, I mean, you said, I want to go get like Chips Ahoy and see. Chewy's, yeah. It is so disgusting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
They're pretty much always on one leg. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Oh, man. Think about it. That's your job. That's stressful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Hang on. I'm so sorry. I have to know if they have sex on one leg.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Okay. So the male mounts her from behind. And it does look like in this specific instance, mostly because there's a male on her full back, there are two legs down. You're going to need two legs.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Yeah, this is like in a, like, um... The flamingo's not even... This is like a Cirque du Soleil porn here, where the woman's like doing a full pancake down. I encourage everyone to, you know what, and don't even use a private browser the way I just didn't. Google.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
That feels good. Yes. And being on Garbage World, which is Casey Wilson and Danielle Schneider's empire.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
He's balancing. And that's why she needs two legs down, one for each bird.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Okay, can I ask a few questions? Yes. How long were they away?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Is this, is flamingos, because lots of birds build nests, and I didn't know it necessarily meant because it's like a post-coital activity.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But that's also like humans, you know, when you're like holed up and also you feel like the world's about to end. I mean, it might be just a primal thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
I get to go on there and talk about the show Sister Wives with Casey and June, June Raphael. And we have the time of our lives. Now, I have a lot of fun with you too, Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Get on my back. Let's see what this looks like. Now I'm going to put my head down. Oh, my gosh. That's so fascinating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Wow. So what a great thing that they now know. If they want, if let's say there's a zoo who has a low budget.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And they just bought a prized tiger, and they don't have the budge for the amount of flamingos that it would take. Just for nighttime, put them in an area where there are lots of mirrors.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Also, I have to say, kudos to this Florida zoo for having a lot of mirrors in a bathroom. A lot of public type restrooms around here, there aren't really mirrors. What are you talking?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
There are plenty of public restrooms where there are no mirrors around.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Did you use the bathroom at the LA Zoo? No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, it sometimes is. But sometimes it's real low, you know, bare bones.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, I've definitely been in public restrooms that are sketchy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
When you're talking about Cody and the gals.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
No, like out in the world, like at the cabin by the lake. Does that restroom have any mirrors?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And then actually there was a place I went to at the beach, no mirrors. And I wonder if it has something to do with not wanting people to break them and use the mirror glass to cut something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Do you have any other fun like you didn't? You would have been surprised to learn this about animals.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Well, I'm asking because our son's doing a project on animals. And here he did, he had to make, what was that called? A diorama. And he did that. He did the report. He's very smart. Yeah. But for some reason, the students who finished early were told to go learn about another animal.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Cody and the gal. It kind of, you know, the script writes itself.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And so he was telling me about, and I've never even seen these. It's pink fairy armadillos. And oh, they're so cute. They kind of look like worms.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
But very cute still. And there are only like a couple hundred left and they don't survive captivity. But he was telling me about a man who spent 13 years searching for a pink armadillo, fairy armadillo.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Whereas you and I are just free balling out here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
And he never found it. Oh, he didn't find it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Oh, he definitely free balls. He's unshod.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
163 - Flamingo Facts / Tai Chi Fail
Also, are they just floating around sleeping?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I know, this is how you work. This is how your brain works.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
You're kind of all or nothing or you're like, you don't respect resolutions because you're like, you should just do it and don't make it a thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
But like, let people have their resolutions and let, it's great for someone to go, okay, like me, okay, I'm not doing, I'm not doing Try January probably because I'm married to someone who would make me feel weird about it. Good. But I, and I didn't drink as much as I normally would through the holidays, truly, this season, this year, honestly, nowhere near.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Nice. Okay, so here we are. I'm so proud of myself because one of my nearest solutions was to be a mean mom.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Now that you're like, Mr. I don't drink, I can feel. Oh my God, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
However, I don't like that I like it so much. Okay. No, I'm serious.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
And I do think the idea of taking a month and going, hey, like similar with sugar, I feel a little bit like a sugar plum right now. You know, there's been a lot of sweets and stuff and I do love sweets and I love them. They love me. But it's been so much that now my body is like expecting that sort of situation. And I think kind of going the alternate way a bit.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
So for example, dry January being like, I'm going to go a full month to kind of reset my body so that it's not expecting that 5 p.m. glass of wine or whatever.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
ist wirklich gut und nobel. Und es ist nicht Bullshit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Das ist sehr auf dem Thema gerade. Was denkst du... Warum ist das lustig? Ich weiß es nicht. What make ye of... Why are you looking at... You've been twirling the score the whole time. Okay. What make ye of dopamine detoxes?
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Now this is the last day of winter break. And we actually had an extended winter break because, of course, our child got the flu the week before the break started. So we've had a full month of together time.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
You just yelled at me. FAP. What does FAP mean? I think it's masturbating.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
You're SOM. Oh, ja, Dopamin ist da. Last night, for example, we were watching a docuseries and you go, can we just stop this? Because I haven't looked at my phone all day.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Because I wanted to watch this documentary we had started.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, so anyway, I've been conscientious about this. What's it called again? Dopamine Detox. And basically that our... I don't know what the system is. I'm going to sound real dumb. But I think it's like our endocrinology system is... No. Something's releasing dopamine.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Und wenn du diese Hits immer wieder bekommst und zu dem Zufall, dass du dein Handy für keinen Grund in der Mitte von etwas anderem machst, dann ist das ein Beweis, dass dein System nicht gut läuft. Where did you come across this or why have you been thinking about it? It's like, oh, help is available.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, so it's basically reducing pleasure activities with the hope of decreasing reward sensitivity. There is no scientific evidence to support this concept. Just saying.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Ja. It's almost like if you're addicted to heroin, you need more and more and more heroin.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, you know, our kids, I feel like there's always this right before the thing energy. And it's like the right before Christmas energy, the right before a birthday energy. It's usually the day or two before.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, so here are the things. Six compulsive behaviors as targets of this detox. Emotional eating, excessive internet usage and gaming. Oh. Tetris. Gambling and shopping, porn and masturbation, fapping, thrill and novelty seeking and recreational drugs. Okay.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
By fasting from these activities that trigger the brain's neurotransmitters, people become less dependent on the emotional hits that dopamine provides, which can sometimes lead to dependence or addiction.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yeah, I mean, I probably liken it to, look, dopamine is a chemical that's released to, it's part of keeping us alive as creatures on this planet, right? Seeking pleasures in certain ways. And I liken it to, okay, caffeine. I can go off caffeine, and I have at different times in my life. Not drinking coffee, which is one of life's greatest pleasures to me.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Actually, recently when I had COVID and I was sick, I didn't have coffee for a few days. And it kind of sucks, you know, those first few days when I was sick, you're just in bed, so it doesn't matter that much. But you're dragging, you might get headaches, whatever. But then you're kind of reset. Then you have that first cup of coffee and it is like next level great.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
And the feeling you get from that one cup is so good. But guess what? The next day you're just back in it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
You only get the, well, it's like the first hit of anything. It's almost like you're making that next hit that much better, but then you're gonna, you gotta do it again.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
And I think like it's this right before break ends energy. And unfortunately, I think I have it as well. Because I've got like senioritis, where I'm stepping one foot out of this like... It's been a wonderful break together time. In fact, last night I said how great it's been and how grateful I am to the kids for like their... Ja. Ja. Ja.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
It's nice to know that's available to you, though, for this coffee, for example.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Where I'm like, if I really need a good pick-me-up, I can plan three days ahead. But you have to pay the toll for that.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
You have to suffer. But suffering in suffering brings greater joy.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, that's what happened to me. Okay. Ich meine, zwischen meinen Fingern, ich hielt es in der richtigen Weise, aber ich war es wie zuckern und dann und ich bin so, ich denke nicht mehr, dass ich wissen kann, wie man mehr trinken kann.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
And also, I mean, I've also read, though, that I feel like when you were quitting, which was 18 years ago or whatever, there was like... the time it took for your lungs basically to heal from the damage you've done. Now granted, I know that there are things that come up later, like you're at higher risk for lung cancer, for example.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
But I'm like, does that mean it's taking 20 minutes off your life from you having smoked long ago and now you're not a smoker?
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
But is that like four people are smoking towards the end of their lives?
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yeah, like, does that apply to you, is what I'm asking.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
No, no, no. Oh, you're saying ages 15 to 25. Okay, 10 years.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, that's 73,000. Okay, so 73,000 of those times 20 minutes... times 20, 1,460,000. Okay, so 1,460,000 Minuten. Wie viele Tage oder Jahre ist das?
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
How do you know that for sure? But I know that you can know that. I mean, it's similar to people saying if you eat saturated fats as... Right. Right.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, it also is like, are they looking cumulatively at this pool of people who had been smokers and then taking the average lifespan? This is probably how it works. And let's say you, I mean, knock on wood, never get lung cancer.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, also, du bekommst nie Lungenkanzer. Du hast dich von der Möglichkeit verletzt. Danke Gott. Aber aus diesem Pool von Menschen, mehr Menschen als die generelle Bevölkerung werden Lungenkanzer bekommen. Und sie werden viel jünger sterben. Probably. And so the average lifespan is probably, you know what I mean?
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
I'm reading Couples Magazine. That would be... That would give me the ick, I think. Sure, sure, sure, sure. So, this concept of think to talk and talk to think. Have I talked to you about this? No. Okay. Okay.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
So, there's, there are, the thesis of this is, now I think everyone kind of can go back and forth between the two of these, but sometimes there are people who are more likely to need to talk out their thinking. So it's talk to think. So... They don't land at the thing unless they're able to talk through it to get there.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Versus people who think about the thing and then speak it once they've landed. And I'm curious... Well, I'm curious what you think we are, because I think we might not see eye to eye on this.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
I do think the last time we had a very big situation, which was like a couple months ago. Remember, we had a sit down outside. I was so impressed with. Now, that was something we were like coming back to. Ja, genau.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
In that situation, there may have been times where both of us were kind of convoluted and not making full sense, trying to get to what we were trying to express, and ultimately did at some point. We worked through it together, kind of.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
I think you are talk to think. And I think where it becomes a thing for us, I think I'm more think to talk. Which might sound strange to people listening to this podcast, because I tend to ramble, I know, and pivot.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
But I think, for example, this is such a dumb example, but we'll be talking about, let's say we're going out to dinner, I'll have thought through it all, and I'll have thought, oh, well, the kids need to do this, and then the babysitter, and this restaurant would be good to go to early, and we've been mentioning this, and I'll have gone through all of this stuff,
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Oh, that could be good. Or, and then I have to go on this long, long, long, long journey with you. Taking us up to fucking Valencia. And I'm like, I've already done this work. Well, fucking listen.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Because sometimes your process is like a lot because it's drive times. It's like you're uncomfortable with like how the parking is and how we're going to, you know, it's all of these details that aren't part of my process. Anywho, good times.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
I've already apologized for my reaction and then that defaulted to another.
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150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yes, when are we going to do the reveal? We couldn't do it at Christmas because we weren't here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Jacob, I know you're on your yacht. I hope you have internet service.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
The yacht you bought with all of these sweet, intentioned people's money trying to buy robots for their fucking kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Because I was just simply asking for space. And I understand how I am so grateful that the issue I have is that my kids want too much of me. Which I think is not... Yes, you are. But this has been a month straight.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Sure. I'm going to type out Hi Ben. Thanks for the response. I appreciate the offer. But given that it has been four years, I would simply like a refund and do not want to wait any longer. I already have a Vector. I would simply like a refund and do not want to wait any longer. Okay. Now, do you have a refund?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Was habe ich genannt, wo du dich mit deinen Kapturen sympathisierst?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Ich sympathisiere nicht mit ihm. Ich versuche, ihn zu manipulieren. Ich weiß, aber es ist zu viel. Es ist viel zu viel. Und es ist nicht dein Stil. Ich bin in dir enttäuscht. Nur direkt zu dem Punkt. Du hast es mit diesen Leuten durchgekommen. Du musst ihm keine, oh mein Gott...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, I don't think you putting this has been disappointing to my son.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yes, this is the email. I mean, this is your best shot. Listen, it's not the email that's going to get the response or not. It's not the way it's worded. It's what is going on over on Jacob Trancher's yacht.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Or Instagram. This pharmacist talks about the amazing benefits of gargling water.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I think we talked about this somewhat recently, and this was very validating. I gargle...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
after brushing my teeth I brush and I know you're like I've never heard you you don't even notice I literally you definitely don't brush the allotted time the ADA recommends I'll tell you that much well my teeth are doing just fine but I at night I brush I floss I brush I gargle I floss I gargle morning I brush I gargle now and it takes four seconds you know And it's something that I was taught.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I was taught after every brush you gargle. And then somewhere along the way, I think in the last 10 years, I saw something, I think, or maybe it was during COVID, which was like gargling is such an underutilized thing to keep. The pharmacist. He's looked into studies. Hey, just shut up. Why are you like, why?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yes, he knows how to read medical journal studies. And he had read about a study that was like gargling with some, it's a study from Japan, about gargling with some sort of Und was ist der positive Effekt? It keeps you from getting respiratory illnesses. So colds, flus, anything respiratory, which makes a lot of sense.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
If you think about like the bacteria starts there and it's before it can get in and take hold.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
It's a major part of my mental health program right now. I take Welbutrin and I play Tetris.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
It's also, I have to say, and I know you like kind of weirdly, I don't know why this is the hill you want to die on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
It's as much part of my routine as putting my feet on the ground when I get out of bed in the morning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
If I am brushing my teeth, I am gargling. It's the same as like, do you spit your toothpaste out of your mouth when you brush? No, I'm a swallower.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay. So, we should all start. The other thing though is, and I know you don't believe that I do it, there's like a freshness that if I weren't to gargle, I don't get.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Oh mein Gott. Ich kann mir nicht vorstellen, diesen Break ohne ihn zu haben. Which is almost always. I pretty much am always like, let's play together.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
What? Do you brush? Yeah. No, you don't. You're lying. Look at your mouth.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, my teeth are great. I will say one thing, one positive, the positive, no, one positive influence you've been on me is flossing. I floss pretty much every night now without fail. Well, with fail a couple times.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
We can whiten your teeth. We can whiten them right up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, but eventually. Eventually. So anyway, we watched that on Queer Eye. What is it? This guy went in and had his teeth whitened. It was like, whoa.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Great. So anyway, where was I going with this? Oh, you have influenced me. I used to floss like once or twice a month.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Right, well now though I floss and I'm like, how did I not floss all the time? Because it feels cleaner.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Things are popping out sometimes. And that's kind of satisfying too. It's like popping a pimple. So, Queer Eye. Ja. Teddy und ich haben es gesehen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Vielleicht geht es auch um das genetische Dopamin-Hit von Nahrung und Behandlung. Und ich liebe es, da reinzukommen. Und ich weiß nicht, was es ist, aber es gibt etwas, das so bemerkenswert ist. Und du fixierst etwas, du heilst etwas. Nun, du solltest nicht... Und manchmal kannst du wirklich viel Schaden machen, wenn du wirklich etwas machst.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Aber wenn da etwas ist für das Nehmen... Aber ich spreche von zwei anderen Leuten. Oh, I mean, I find it pretty gross. I'd happily do yours.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
You know what I want to start doing with you? Body work? Yeah, kind of, yes. Some body work. I'm getting into this, it's all the rage right now on Instagram, facial fascia. And who knows if it does fucking anything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay. But it's like, you know, it's these face massages you do. Now, there are things that are proven, like the Gua Sha thing that like does lymphatic drainage for your face and stuff. There are things like that. It's similar to, you might roll your eyes at, I don't think you would now, but... Back in the day, similarly, you might roll your eyes at acupuncture. Well, guess what?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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That's a thousands year long proven scientific treatment. Und ich möchte es auf deinem Gesicht machen. Und ich bin fast zu müde, es nur auf die Hälfte deines Gesichtes zu machen, als ein Experiment, um zu sehen, ob es funktioniert.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Well, my face is my money maker. I need it. This face, your face is great and you're going to age well. We all know what's happening with your face. My face, look, I haven't done Botox since the one time I did it like three years ago. I'm on course to be like, I need to go get Botox again. But I'd like not to if it seems like this is a path for me. And if you were my guinea pig...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
And take before and after pictures. Oh my god, I'm so excited. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
But I'll take half a face massage for a month. Okay, great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Anyway, Queer Eye. I wanted to just say... We kind of stumbled on it. I feel like having a hard time finding something to watch with our 10 year old, especially where it's not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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So it came out and our niece actually like reached out and was like, it's such an amazing season. Yeah. And it's so up our alley. Now there are some sexual innuendo jokes that like. Es könnte über ihr Kopf gehen oder nicht, aber... Du meinst die Kinder?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Oh, ja. An dieser Zeit bin ich okay, wenn es nicht so ist. Es ist wahrscheinlich, was auch immer. Aber am Herzen der Show, nur die Inklusion, dass alle Menschen wunderschön sind und zu fühlen dürfen, liebt und wunderschön und wertvoll sind. Klar. It's such a moving season and we haven't watched it in years and years and years and I kind of forgot. I didn't even really know it was still happening.
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What they are doing on that show is so important and the fact that, I mean, I think that it's reaching... Ja. Ja. I feel like I want to kind of come alive a little bit more this year in terms of... Come alive? You know, I've talked about I haven't bought any new clothes in so many years. And I want to feel better in myself. Yeah, yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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All that is, is like kind of a being willing to buy some new clothes and being willing to do the face massage and being, you know, all of this stuff that I think is sometimes I feel like is a little frivolous or whatever, but it's important actually. Watching this, I was like, you know what? And making sure that our space feels beautiful.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Oh, ich will... Schöpfen? Ich will mich verlieben oder so.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Du weißt, während dieser Pause haben wir ein bisschen Kunst auf unseren Wänden gelegt. Mhm. Ja, sicher. Ja. All right, well, gargle? Gotta gargle. You're going to have an update on digital dream labs scam. And I think we covered it all. Good night. Good night.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Also, what happened today, I don't think you picked up on the nuance of it. Sure, yeah. So, I'm already getting guilt tripped. Again, I know that this is a 10-year-old who is my child, who I love. And I've reiterated this to them even since this happened, like how much I love spending time with them. I love being close with them and giving them attention.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, thank you. But the chatter that was happening was also like, while I'm playing Tetris, guilting me about the time it's going to take for us where we're not entertaining them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
And that's another thing. You're really great about playing with the kids and stuff. And we've talked about that, that this is a very gendered study, but just in heteronormative couples, The fathers typically get like a dopamine release and hit playing with kids. Mothers get that dopamine hit from nurturing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Excited to chat with you for an hour as though no one were listening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And I mean, it's very gendered and kind of yucky to even say, but it resonated for me a lot because I always felt guilty that I'm not like getting on the ground. I do that, but I don't get the same joy out of it. To me, it's like a duty I have as a parent. But when I was growing up, I mean, my mom never played with me. My dad wasn't even fucking there. You know, he's on a business trip somewhere.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I figured my shit out. You know, I used my imagination, which they have done during this pandemic.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
And also, as I've said, we're basically in this cage together where there's no escape.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Well, it wasn't just out of nowhere. I asked many, many times, very politely.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Me snapping, by the way, was looking at you going, let's just go podcast. Well, that was your... I didn't like, I'm not like screaming at them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I am asking, I've asked you nicely multiple times. Please go find something else to do. Go play outside. And it was like, well, we can't play outside because they're going to start podcasting and then we can't even be outside.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
The cherry galette that me and my son baked together this morning.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I don't feel comfortable leaving them both crying. Which I'm fine with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Well, I had, and then it had re-escalated. What was I saying when you walked in? I don't know, but I was dying because I was like, this is still a conversation.
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These things happen very, we're very lucky, knock on wood. Rarely, I feel like, in our household, where there's like a big thing. And I did think about just leaving, but I wanted to, first of all, emotionally check in on them. And I did think that I reacted a little too intensely. But that's okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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But I, and I also was like, oh, it's kind of good at shared suffering, like they were both in Otis' room, like crying and complaining together. So I was like, maybe I'll just let that play out. But then Teddy's Es kam zu einer Situation, in der ich dachte, okay, ich muss kommen.
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Ich muss kommen und die Wahrnehmung davon nehmen, wie ich gehalten habe, in einer Weise, die ich, auch nur ein bisschen. Ich meine, ich wurde die ganze Zeit ziemlich verletzt. But she's very sensitive to energies and stuff like that. And I know in her sweet 10-year-old soul, she's like, I just want mommy time before I'm going back to school.
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And I'm like, we've had a month of mommy time and I just want to get these blocks down in the right places. And I asked you many times. And so that was when you walked in, I was saying, we all need a little private alone time sometimes.
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And I expect to be respected when I ask for it, just like I respect you when you ask for it. Nice, yeah. Which they barely ever do. Anyway, we left it at that. No one's happy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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He's the gamer of the household. It's tricky. It's really tricky. Anyway, this New Year is off to a... No, honestly, it has been a great start of the New Year for us. I don't really feel like the year has started. I think tomorrow, after drop-off at school, we're going to... skip all the way home.
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I'm so excited. I am. I'm really excited to get started again. That's the beauty. It's like... Das ist das Wichtigste. Für mich ist eine der wunderschönen Dinge beim Parenting, And working. I mean, I feel very lucky. Doing something I love. Of course, anything you do at some point, you're going to be like, okay, I need a break from that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And getting to then spend time with my family, who I love, and my kids, who I love very much. And then getting to go to work on Monday and being like, oh, this is nice. I mean, in this case, just my work honestly is looking a lot like tomorrow. I'm going to go for a walk. I'm gonna watch Sister Wives.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I haven't caught up on all the episodes of what Cody and the gang, well, really just the one left is up to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Okay, so I wanted to chat with you about... I have things written down. I must have written down during this break that I have no idea. Why did I write down Wolfgang Puck?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
I didn't drink that much this break, because you didn't drink that much this break.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Wait, no. I said, I didn't drink this much this week because you didn't drink this much this week.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
Yeah. No, I think it's good. I might be getting on the no fun bus as well. It's so funny, the whole dry January thing that people do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
150 - Gotta Gargle!
You're saying that as someone who's stopped drinking. What a weird thing to say.
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I'll tell you. And I went on a walk after that interaction. And I went through all of this. I was like, oh, sometimes it feels like you're so principled and not wavering from how you feel that you won't, like, even if you were like, you know what, but I do like it. And it would mean a lot to her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Okay. Here's the thing. On my walk, I was like, oh, he's so principled. He can't even give me just like a little... I'm going to say generosity of spirit, knowing how much it means to me, knowing that I put the work into it. But then I thought, you know, but that's also part of why I love him. Like in other scenarios, I like him to be.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
No, no, no, no. I'm thinking like, no, it's true, though. That aspect of you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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It's really weird because this came up a lot with the cabin. Yeah. And now I also do think there is something to, and I said this to you, and I know that you don't think, I think I probably give more weight to this, and I think you give less weight to it than what it really is.
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Because she is our saint still, obviously. She's like our patron saint. But now I feel like I know we're on a whole different level. Like, I might go on a trip with her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But that you have a hard time with change. That oftentimes just any change looks off to you. Mm-hmm. Which is also interesting because you don't notice a lot of things. So I don't know. But anyway, so sometimes it takes a minute for you to warm up to things.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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You were really hesitant about like the plaid couch in our living room and the cabin.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Yeah, you were like, is it going to be too much to have a plaid couch? Once it was in, you liked it, I think, in that case. I think you like a lot of the cabin stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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But I think that along the way, when I was making choices and I was asking you about it, your default setting sometimes is... Default means kind of all times, right? No, but there are obviously exceptions. But what is bad about this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And that's a good thing. But that's why I was thinking of my walk.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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We have kind of the perfect storm, and here's why. I put so much weight. Now I might cry. Not out of sadness, but just this is true. I require so much validation from you and I put so much weight into your opinion in a way that's not reciprocated. And that's not bad. And it's actually on this walk. I was like, I need to work on that. Like, I don't.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And I had to remind myself, like, how you used to live and stuff like your bar of shit should be is so low. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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But no, the truth is I need to work on finding internal validation and not putting so much. If your response, you are entitled to your opinion and I don't want you to change it for me. And so if that's your if that's your real response and always is, I need to find a way to be OK with myself and not like depend on your approval.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And so that's kind of a growth journey I'm on. But I felt a lot better about it when I got back. And now I hear that it's grown on you. And that's great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It's a bit of one. Here's the other thing I want to say. I do really pride myself in trying to make our home really nice and keeping it clean and the way I decorate it and making, like, holidays nice and all of that stuff. And sometimes I do feel like it's a little lost on you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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I think so. And this kind of goes to the invisible work. I feel like a lot of women, and I think I do a lot, and I know you do a lot of invisible work too. But it's like right now making sure all of our passports are up to date and doing a global entry and doing all of our finances and getting decorations and planning for –
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Birthday parties and planning for holidays, like all of this stuff, which I genuinely, for the most part, enjoy doing. But it is work to make our life feel a certain way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And so I think it is kind of the appreciation of that. Now, I do want to apologize to you about the cabin.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
We got into a pretty big argument when we were listing the cabin for sale.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Because you suggested it should be listed at a price that I found so offensive and was like, now I just want to say the cabin hasn't sold. We're so underwater in it because I put so much effort and time thinking it was a forever place for us. And I decorated it with like, it's so gorgeous. I mean, on the inside of the cabin, it is perfection.
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And I got a lot of the validation I needed from like friends and stuff who were like, this is like, you know, it's amazing. But you suggested a price to list it at to sell. And I was like, how dare you? And also you were saying like, I don't think it's going to sell for a while. And I was like, how dare you? Anyone would want to snatch this up. Well, here we are.
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Ten months later, I will sell it for, you know, like, I shouldn't say that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Is it the one I'm like, I hope that's what we sell it for?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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It was because for me it's tied to this emotion.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Where for you, you're just like looking at it practically and also doing a protective thing of going like very kind of conservative, like kind of like what would be a bad, like not ideal scenario, but that I could live with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And I want to apologize because that reaction was super overblown. It was very emotional for me. It was not fair to you. Mm-hmm. You were right. You know, I don't know if you were right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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That's just what I think. That's another element of this that I forgot. During those conversations, I had done a lot more research about, like, the market and comps and what I thought it could be listed for. And that's another area of contention is when I think I have a lot more knowledge.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But, Andy, it's interesting because what was it that we were watching and the guy was like, it's just what's in my head? Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Sometimes that's how it comes across where you're just like, it's my gut. And to me, it kind of is below your intelligence level to just stick to your gut at all costs when someone who is an astrophysicist is explaining something to you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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And you're like, but I actually think I think this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, and you are really unknowingly good at guessing numbers and stuff, which is very frustrating sometimes. Yeah. Ultimately, I'm not saying either of us were right or wrong about the number. And I think we were both wrong.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But I think that my emotion was like making my reaction very outsized. And I apologize for that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I do, especially when we're talking shit about specific people. Like this month's episode, I'm going to share a story. And I think he might share a story where there are specific people who are going to be discussed. And you best believe I'm going to be keeping close tabs on who's joining up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You'll get there. Oh, well, do you want to talk about the emergency room since...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Yes, that was Tuesday, the 22nd of April's Nobody's News episode.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Oh, my God. Okay, I can't say her name, so I'm going to give her a different name. Let me set this up. I made you record something when we were doing Nobody's News, and I was like, I want to actually save this. Do you have that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay. I just moved a bunch of our stuff to a new financial institution. Okay. Now, I was at this, like, our retirement and college accounts and stuff, which, you know, are nothing to write home about, but they are there, have been in this place for 15 years, and I've never talked to a singular human being.
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Like, I get a call once a year, and it's like, hey, I'm, you know, and I, like, kind of vaguely know the names, but I've had no reason to talk to anyone. Got it. But I was paying fees as though someone was like helping me out. Right. So I moved to a new place that has very few fees. And to my shock, I was assigned like a human being. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Who literally was like, I'm your one-stop shop for everything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, I don't think there will be much initially after the transfer, but getting everything transferred, especially like the college 529s and stuff, is a bit of a headache.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
That's what they do. But this gal and I I'm chatting with her and I hear her kids in the background and she's like, oh, sorry, the kids. And I was like, I'm in the same boat. And I just really had a connection with her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But then something interesting happened and not bad, but confusing. And I want you to play the clip.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I almost feel like we should take this out because this is so fucking crazy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay. So here's the thing. Linda did something that I'm confused about. Now, she has my info. She has my email. And I'm wondering if she, like, looked me up. Is she listening right now, maybe? If so, hi, Linda. I think you're great. Okay. Because you said, oh, we're going on this trip to France. She's texting me. I'm putting the transfer request in. I'll let you know when they're done. Great.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I want so much to speak French with you. But cannot do to record.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Sure, sure. Well, I was asking about, like, the name of one of the accounts.
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167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And she said you can find nicknames in your profile under preferences. I'm putting in the two transfer requests. I'll let you know when they're done. Great. I want so much to speak French with you but can't due to something. Due to what? Recorded lines.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
If you speak it slowly, I will listen fast.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
That's called nobody's news for anyone who hasn't checked it out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And then she said, I have checked on the removal restrictions on this account. I'm going to give it another business day, blah, blah, blah. And then she wrote, So it's basically then, for the record, the translation is, I studied French 43 years ago. If you speak slowly, I will listen quickly. And I said, oh, in French. And then we get back to, like, stuff. What the fuck?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Now, here's the only thing that I can think is the name lame. like lemme in French.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But she came to me and to her, the first thing she said is I want so much to speak French with you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Should we just have her, like, we'll pay her. What's that called where you pay and it's fake?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Maybe I did, but I don't think, like I was in like finance mode. I wasn't in...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I wonder if I... Maybe I did. And maybe I was like, oh, but none of the France money would have anything to do with this stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
She's my new best friend. No, I really like her a lot. And I have to say this because even now I'm getting nervous that she does listen and we've been here before. We'd love to know that she listens, first of all. And second of all, like so happy to have her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It's made it such a smooth process. She's wonderful. And I don't want this to be off-putting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
No, because then she would be like, do you by any chance speak French? I want to. It must have to do with my name. No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
No. French people know M-A is a very common word in France. And le. I mean, an L apostrophe M. Mm-hmm. Is very common.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I really regret not going. And like, I couldn't go back now and go, just out of curiosity, like, why did you think I spoke French?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Maybe I'll get to the bottom of it. But then you brought that up on Nobody's News. And I was like, what the fuck? That is so crazy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Yeah, and so if you speak slowly, I can understand. She understands really well.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, I've had time to, like, think about it, and I'm... And where'd you land? I'm delighting on your reaction. I'm now thinking, like, oh, she maybe went and checked out the podcast, and... I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But I also, of course, because I've looked for this and everything, I'm like, oh, it's another sign that France is good for us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, you taught me today how to juice something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It's even coming out in my texts with her financial person.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I didn't get a phone call. It was one of those flyers in the mailbox.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay, so I have become very politically active against my will because I'm trying to get a goddamn crossing guard at this intersection. And so I went to the city budget meeting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And then I went to the city council open house sours. And first of all, let me say, not that many people go to these things regularly. Not that many people go to these things, which, first of all, I was like, that's interesting. So it does give you a sense of power to go and speak to these people and have like they actually have to hear you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And it makes sense why people who show up at stuff like do make a difference. That was a good reminder of such a pain in the ass to just like get to these things that you have to sit through it. Basically, everyone's just complaining about shit. And our city's budget is really bad right now. And it's going to be pretty bad for a while.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But I do feel I'm really glad this woman, Katie, I think you're a Slavsky, who is the city councilwoman for the District 5 here.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
is head of the budget committee and she like knows her shit and she explained why the budget is what it is how it got here how it could be more efficient moving forward like what changes could take place and i'm very inspired by her long-term vision but the short term is like pretty sucky yeah
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
One thing that was said in one of these that I've really kind of thought about a lot, and I want to hear you speak to it, is this phrase of, well, like, you should never let a good disaster go to waste.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It does, but I think it can be applied to, like, life. Because, look, everyone's life, and also it kind of depends on how you view things. I think there are people that have very minor things happen, and to them it's the biggest disaster ever. I mean, I think we all do that on some level, and the truth is, like...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Yeah. You know, we're going to Paris, and we booked flights, and we've booked other stuff, but have been having a bit of a hard time finding the right hotel because we're a family of four, and thus you need to get two rooms, and I really want to get two rooms connected.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
most things in life that seem problematic are not as big of problems as we think they are.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
That's a little different to me. But yes, I mean, it's an idea of like, don't not try to make good out of something bad that happened.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And then actually, but the other side will say that is so horrific that you would politicize this event. And it's like we're just trying to make sure it doesn't happen again. Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Right. Yes, exactly. But I also think it's interesting to apply to life.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Oh, well, there's one playing out right this very moment.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
which is that you and I now do six-plus podcasts a week and are loving it and having a lot of fun, and our aim is to, like, make a living out of doing this. And if anyone wants to join our Patreon, it's at patreon.com slash nobody's listening right. But... I don't think we would be – I know we wouldn't be doing this if I had continued working the way I was.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
If you – like some of the projects that weren't released for you were and you were like still being pulled into sessions and stuff like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Both things that sucked for us and were frustrating, me not getting staffing jobs or whatever. Yeah. And you have made so much incredible music with artists that go, it just sits on shelves and it's such a frustrating thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
We have no agency over this stuff. Had those kept like us getting breadcrumbs of that, I don't think we would have, I know we wouldn't have thought, what if we do a podcast every day?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I think it's a Paris thing. They just don't have the big space options. For two full beds and like everything in France is kind of smaller. It's not like big America.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Here it is. I mean, this isn't that little.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You know, my parents, we went to Ireland and my parents' house flooded because the toilet upstairs cracked. It was horrific and so frustrating. I mean, imagine coming home from an international trip with two kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
imagine and the maid hasn't been there and the butler apparently oh my goodness you drive up in your rolls royce and anyway no really different scenario where everyone's tired and cranky and you get home from a modest but wonderful trip and you walk in and your your house is ruined okay guess what my mom did
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Got that insurance money, baby. And got to get excited and pick out wallpaper.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You're absolutely right. It's all about perspective.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Here's what I will say. And I don't mean to come off as conceited. I could crush it. Like, seeing who... Now, L.A. City Council is incredibly... Competitive? Well, it is competitive. I mean, you have to do serious fundraising. You're getting a lot of votes. So it's local, but it's also the city council is incredibly powerful. Like there's a city council and there's mayor's office.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So but I was booking a hotel room and you said you have to get the rates that you can cancel. And I was like, why? We're already like dialed in on this trip. I mean, there's there's no world where this trip's not happening. Heaven forbid a real like horrific situation. And you said, because if you find something better or something like that, then you can cancel.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I can definitely see that being kind of a if you become a very popular city council person and you become more visible like this Katie from CD5. Yes, Slavsky, I think is her name.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Like I could see her being our mayor someday.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But then there are also other city council people that like Kevin DeLeon, who we used to have, was very charismatic and good at fundraising and good at getting an horrible, like total dud.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And in terms of doing stuff. And then there are other people I think who genuinely want to get stuff done, but kind of come across as like kind of duds.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I feel like if we didn't have the podcasts and if there weren't thousands of episodes of me discounting, disqualifying myself as a politician.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I think not to say I think I could be like a senator or anything, although maybe I could. I'm like, I think I could be in the city council. I do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, you and I have talked about this. Musicians, to become like a huge pop star, let's say, you do have to have a certain amount of, now this word carries a lot of negativity, but in this case, I mean it like not in a negative way. You do have to be a bit of a, what's that called?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Narcissist. Where you are kind of like hyper-focused on your own success. And in a way, it's not like the ultimate thing is not narcissistic because I think you're bringing a lot of people with you. It's kind of a community, but it's all about you, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I feel like if you don't have that, it's going to be very hard. And I feel like in politics, you have one of two things. Kind of the same thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Or you genuinely are there to help people and be of service. Also like to be of service because, you know, whether or not that's just because it helps them be more popular or what, I don't know. But it's really, I do feel like I've seen a little bit behind the curtain. And the other thing is at both of these events that I went to within the last week.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So I've spent a good amount of time doing this shit. Yeah. And now I know the employees of our city council person's office. And some of them, I'm like, I could see them. That's the stepping stone.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
They got the goods. And it's all fascinating. I'm also now very in with the neighborhood council of our neighborhood.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And it's fascinating. And now I'm being put in touch with fellow journalists.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And I was thinking, but it's not worth paying $400 extra or like $150 extra a night to get a flexible rate. Okay. And you were like, yes, it is. And in my mind, I was thinking it's almost like you're putting down a deposit that you don't get back either way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
But the whole political world, both of these meetings were mostly attended to by elderly, which makes sense.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
For a few reasons. One, they have time. Yeah. Two, they're a bunch of grumpy old bitches. Yeah. No, I'm just kidding. Kind of.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
They have issues, just like I do, though. I mean, I have an issue. Everyone's issue is so important to them, and they're like, this is the most important thing ever, you know. Yeah. And three, they grew up in a time where you show up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And so the job to me now, even though I'm like, I think I could do it. I think I shouldn't say I could do it. I think I could get in. And then I think I could find a way to keep climbing the ladder. Yeah. The hard part of the job is the job.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You're just getting complained at all day. And right now there's no budget. So like... It's like, OK, well, I'm very sorry that there's a lot of graffiti. But if I take money away from like foster youth services and put it towards cleaning up graffiti, then foster youth are going to be like without, you know, their essential needs, you know. So what is it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I think it's really hard, really stressful. And I really admire anyone who does it with grace and courage and truly has good intentions.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Yeah. And it's urgent by virtue of, you know, what they're there to do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I think you just get so jaded. And it's interesting, having been really involved, like, this past week, right after this massive budget cut came out, that's going to affect every department except the police, of course, which I have strong feelings about. I don't think we need, you know, two days ago there was, like, a mugging. Mm-hmm. And it required multiple cop cars and a helicopter.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Don't need the chopper for that. And don't, like, wake up all the children in the neighborhood with the low-flying helicopter. I opened the door and the light was, like, beaming upon me as though I was about to get called to the mothership.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You explain. And then I said, how come people don't then book the room that's refundable? And then the day before you have to cancel, go and book the non-refundable rate. And get your refund. So you essentially get to hold the room and get a non-refundable rate. And you said, well, I think people do that. And that's something we could do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Anyway, we're broken records. It's just been a very interesting dip into the political realm. OK, can I say making don't let a good disaster go to waste?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
The thing I took from this, though, is that you got to get scrappy when there's no budget and there's not really going to be resources or help.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
What do you do? Well, you get you and your neighbors go clean up the graffiti. You and your neighbors figure out how you're going to make sure the kids cross to school every single day safely.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
You know, I do have hope that because I love our little community and we do have a really special community here. But like Parks and Rec, you know, you might be coaching basketball because the program for the basketball teams is gone next year. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And like we all need to kind of come together and organize and take turns cleaning up the park and all of that stuff, which sounds it's annoying and it's extra stuff and we don't have the time. But when everyone pitches in, I think there's something really beautiful that can come out of that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Thanks. All right. Well, on that note, you can vote for me. Yeah, 2026?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Oh, yeah, 2026. I'm going to start campaigning real soon.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It is kind of like Trump and that you just overwhelm. And we do have a thousand episodes or however many.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
1,200 hours of me. Yeah. And so just like let the clips roll.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Thank you. I'll be the... What's my catchphrase? She's not... Don't let them juice you. Juice... It's got to be something about lame.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
She's not... It's not lame to vote for lame.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay. Let everyone learn from our parenting mistakes. Yes. This was a mistake. Okay. Where to begin, and I don't know how much context to give everything. I think everyone knows that things have been tricky for us and for me and feeling a little bit, like, shitty about the business and stuff like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And also this real sense of, oh, if I don't have to live here because I'm working in Hollyweird, then why live here?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Now... I want to caveat that with, I don't think we're going to live anywhere else and have the same friends and the amazing people who we love here so much and the creative community. There's so much to love here. It's mostly just a factor of... It's untenable to afford to live here full time if you're not working full time, both people, parents.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I'm so excited to spend an hour with my favorite guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And so why not go live somewhere else if we don't have to be here to work and have kind of a better quality of life?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And then we were thinking, where else would we want to go? Like, why not go on a great big new adventure? And unfortunately, we were pretty open books about this and we kind of were feeling the kids out. Now, they're 9 and 11. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. At school about this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So the cart was really ahead of the horse on this one and we had to rein it back. And so then once we did that, it wasn't until like our tickets were booked that we told them that we're even going on a trip because we just like really made a mistake.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So I think they're aware, even if I don't want to make the whole trip at all about we might move here. No. And we've pulled that back so much that we said to them, like, look, we're not moving to France. But for the record, they both were excited about the idea.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And we're going to chat like no one's listening. And I want us to stay very true to that today.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So I feel confident that if we did make the decision, they like the idea is not so foreign to them now that it would really be upsetting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
We actually might get into like a real tender subject for us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I introduced something new into our lives this week that I think that the cost-benefit analysis weighs so heavily. Those scales, one's dropping to the side so swiftly.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So in our, we have a tiny little like nub of a hallway entry into the back of the house, like to go into our kitchen.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Yeah. Okay. But first of all, is anyone listening? No.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
So there's a little vestibule, and it's where I have hooks for the kids.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Here's what I will say, and I don't mean to come off as conceited. I could crush it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And I have hooks for the kids' backpacks. That's where they come in to hang the kids' backpacks.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay. Well, there are hooks above those for the keys. I hung that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
If I had my, like, druthers and we could really update the house, I would want to put in new floors, okay, so that the kitchen floor isn't different from the floors elsewhere. But I would want that little entry vestibule to be, like, slate tile.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Well, I just want you to have a sense of what I'm thinking. Your dreams, yeah. So we used to have a little stool there that the kids could use to get up in the cabinets and stuff or get something to eat if they wanted from the fridge. And then everyone would just throw their shoes there because we're typically kind of a shoeless house. We're not like married to it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
If we're like running in and out, that's fine. But if we're coming in to be a while, we take off our shoes. And...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Andrew, I love so many things about you, but one of the things I do wish I could change is your tendency to just take two steps in, take your feet out of the shoes and just leave them there in the footprint so that the next person who comes in or out is inevitably going to trip on your huge shoes. It's been really a challenge.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And so I got this cool and I measured it and I looked online for a long time and I got a great deal on this neat little cabinet. It had great reviews and it's a shoe cabinet.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And it it's now our cabinets are like a gray blue.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
In the kitchen. And then it would be like that's an extension of the cabinets into this little vestibule. Except it's not. Because as you pointed out, it's white. Maybe it looks a little low rent. Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
the words you used yeah but i took two and a half hours of my day before spending a couple hours with you at the emergency room putting this thing together yeah and i do enjoy manual labor like i really like building things i like gardening i wish i knew how to like build houses i really do yeah i never did um habitat for humanity but that would have been so up my alley
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
No, both. I mean, it's like a win-win. And it looks good on your college application. So anyway, I put this thing together and I put it there and all of our shoes go in it. Plus there's other storage. Plus there's like, I put our little cookbooks up on it. So it really looks... It looks so clean and nice, and it's cleaned up like other areas in our kitchen where it was cluttered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And I'm obsessed, and our daughter is obsessed. And I put a new kitchen rug out in the middle of the kitchen. Everything has been elevated so exponentially for a pretty low cost and a little sweat equity. How much cost? I can look up right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It's called a shoe cabinet. Pier one. Oh, my gosh. Wait, did I only buy it for that? Oh, no.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
It's sturdy. You know, it does look like kind of an Ikea thing. But in terms of that, I think it looks pretty good. Okay. And it's changing lives and, like, making everything more harmonious. And it brings me joy every time I walk in. Now, two of us need to learn how to put our shoes under it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
Okay. Well, anyway, Teddy was raving about it and I still hadn't gotten any... Granted, you had been in the emergency room for eight hours, but the next day I was like, I hadn't gotten any love from you on it whatsoever. Yeah. And then you go, yeah, it's growing on me, which I was like... What? I didn't even know that you didn't like it to begin with.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
And you were like, yeah, well, you know, when I first walked in here, I was like, it's kind of low rent.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
That's great. And so would you say you like it now or would you prefer to go back to how it was?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
167 - A Shoe Cabinet Nightmare
I can't reach it. Monica has now become like such a close friend of mine that it almost feels weird to see her as a saint.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Okay. Well, I feel like you're going to find this funny, but I don't know why. But earlier, I put on a tartan headband that I thought looked nice. I opted against it, but I feel like... Can we rewind a little bit? I have to say, lady. The lady of it all is really hard.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
There's no point in any unions of any sort whatsoever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, what's hard for me is because I'm kind of hearing... I feel like if I looked like a really hot mom who was, like, cool and I was wearing this outfit... You're worried about too many people coming on to you on the plane. No, no, no. If that were the case, I feel like it would be like, oh, she's cool, kind of... you know, Ralph Lauren put together. I guess that's what I'm going for.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
But the way you're describing it is kind of like frumpy, sad lady who like knitted a homemade dog sweater.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
You're saying it without saying it. Do you see me as like an old... No, not at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Don't I just look like a fun... Like this sweatshirt or sweater has a bit of whimsy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I hope like somewhat attractive, I mean, who cares, but I do. You're very attractive. You know, like going on a trip, a cross country, you know, domestic flight. Yeah. I'm going to be on the plane for five and a half hours.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I wanted to feel comfortable, but I also didn't want to wear like sweats.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And I wanted to look like I, some thought went into it, but also not like, I mean, I didn't want to look like, oh, there's the dog sweater lady, but he was saying, oh, Chris Fleming, this standup comedian who I find so funny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
There was an Instagram post of his and he was talking, I forget what the context was, but he was talking about when you're on a plane and you know who the problem is going to be, like when you're sitting down, when you see a grown woman with pigtails like bopping down the aisle, you go, oh no. If there is to be some sort of like ruckus on this flight, it's coming from her.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, let's not talk about it because that just made me really anxious.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
How dare you call me a lady, by the way? You're 45. Yeah. You don't get to call people ladies. Like, you're saying it like you're 20 years old and going, oh, there's the dog.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
What's the male equivalent? It's so, I can't even.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Even if you're a 60-year-old man. What? The way you're saying it is as though you're like a cool 20-year-old guy going, oh, that lady.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
That's awesome. I want to give thanks to Dipsy for supporting Nobody's Listening, right? Dipsy is an app that has over 1,000 spicy audiobooks. They bring scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes and realistic characters. Discover stories about second chance romances, adventurous vacation flings. and hot and heavy hookups.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
A lot. I really don't want to put that out there. It's an embarrassment to me. It's such a, you're just opening the floodgates to a million comments of like, it's so easy. Just have a basket next to the sink with all the, we do use some hand towels. You know, we have hand towels and we use them. But for like cleaning up spills and wet stuff, usually it's paper towels.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Get an extended 30-day free trial when you go to dipsystories.com slash NLR. That's D-I-P-S-E-A stories.com slash N-L-R.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
The difference is like the Amazon rainforest that's being completely... I think now it's slowing down, hopefully, because I don't know what I'm talking about. But, you know, places that are being just demolished for industries that really contribute to climate change. Like... You know, meat industry, oil, those industries that are like really terrible for the planet.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
When you're taking away, you know, millions of acres of rainforest for that, that's where that's like a different situation. Now, I do want to say, you know. I'm a little bit defensive about the paper towel thing because we have tried before. I've tried multiple times to find the right thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yes. Here's the thing is every family has to do what's right for them. And I have friends who have the basket piled with hand towels that they every night do a load of laundry to wash and
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
whatever, and I really admire that, but you have to pick your battles, and in our family, because you're such a germaphobe, there's something about the disposability, unfortunately, and it would be great if we could compost them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
But I don't think I think that it would be much harder for you to adapt to the Swedish towel system where you're like using it and then rinsing it and then letting it dry the way like we don't really use sponges.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Hey, do you remember Star 69? Yeah, of course. And did you ever do it?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
We use, you know, scrubby scrubby brushes and stuff. But this is to say there are lots of other ways that I think that we lower our carbon footprint, you know, that we make a point to.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, I mean, I don't mean to put a halo over my head or anything, but I haven't eaten meat since I was six.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
That's... I've done... That's a huge, huge, huge thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Or they're shipping it off to China and I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
That's great. Do you remember like when recycling began and it was basically just aluminum cans?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, and newspapers. But do you remember that we would, that machine where you crunched the can?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And that was, the point of that was what? To like have it take up less space. Like why were we conditioned to have to crush the can? That's a great question. You still do it. You still squeeze the can and like in the middle of it and kind of crush it a little bit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, I've never heard of that. I'm all about 69. You know?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I saw some story about a small town. Small town America has been really hit hard in the past couple decades as Walmarts have come in and Main Street America has pretty much died. But there was something about some town like that where Main Street, they put resources towards...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I must just say, welcome to Totally Married. Woo. My brain is not firing at all cylinders, but excited to talk to you for an hour as though no one's listening. I'd love to know that someone out there is listening.
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putting a divider in the middle of the street and planting trees and like basically greenifying this main street, which made it like so much more appealing and significantly cooler and all of this stuff. And I was thinking that is so neat. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Does that make you think about... So capitalism, I feel like I've been a little bit conditioned and I obviously studied economics and got my degree in economics. I think I've been conditioned a little bit hardcore in the American way of like bottom line. This is so weird because who's bottom line? What the fuck do I care? But bottom line matters way more than aesthetic matters.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
What is an example where... Unfortunately, I'm looking at that kind of let's greenify the space through the lens of, well, what is the net benefit here?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, is it worth it because to plant some pretty flowers, but you're not taking into account kind of the joy that brings people and how it's nice to have nice looking things and.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It makes such a big difference. And I also think it encourages community. You know, we last night was Halloween. We have such a sweet neighborhood and the neighborhood kids all gather at one house. And it's so I was so like overcome with joy. gratitude last night for the vibe of our neighborhood and the kids going out on the street to trick or treat. So much fun.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And I feel like when things look nice out in the world and it's... And like when infrastructure is there for like playgrounds and things like that, it fosters a sense of community in a much bigger way than if you were to put that money towards retrofitting, blah, blah, blah, you know, whatever. Not that that's not important too, but you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, you're so devious, the fact that you even know that. Like, why would you have reason to make untraceable calls?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Anyway, I don't want this podcast to become a whole podcast about Christian Instagram. But it could so easily. This is what I wanted to bring up. I'm almost like, should we start? an offshoot podcast. It's just about... I have so much to say. Every Christian Instagram post I come across, I have thoughts on. I've sent you several.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I know. You're very fixated on that one because it was genius and amazing and it was basically... And it was perfect and we can't find it again. It was a guy on the beach...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
who is like up to camera and he's like in the text is like at one time in my life i thought i was gay but and then he like backs up from the camera i hadn't like god hadn't brought into my life my cousin and this girl runs up to him and like hugs him into his arms um it was that was obviously a parody but um This is very real. So there's one that I wanted to talk to you about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, okay. This is back when we had, like, home phones. I don't think it ever worked on cellular telephones.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
A little bit. But in some of them, it is very, very, very, very hard to tell. And I have to kind of dig a little deeper. Got it. That one, you know, I didn't need to go to the comments. Of course, the comments were like... Who else came here to make sure this was a parody? Because it feels a little too close. So this one is part two, and it's this beautiful... All these people are so pretty.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Maybe that's... And I also am like, if I am exposed to enough of this, am I going to, you know... Dye your hair blonde? No, like, find my way back.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So beautiful woman. And it says part two, simple tips for young Christian wives to spice up your marriage.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
One, do the little things. Is he working outside? Bring him some cold lemonade. That's nice. Is he working late one day? Bring him a treat.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So nice. The little things become the big things. I will co-sign this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Okay. This just... What I want to know is, is this going both ways? Like, is the husband doing a post that's like, is she... Now, the whole is he working outside thing, like, I assume his version of it is like... Is she cleaning up the house? You know, bring her a cold lemonade. Is she, like, wiping all of the baby's bottoms? Bring her a treat. You know, that sort of thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And so remind me, if someone called me and I was like, who was that calling? Even if, let's say someone called and I didn't even answer, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Okay. Ask him in which areas... I want to ask you this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
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In which areas does he feel you could serve him better?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Be straight up and have the vulnerable conversations and then be ready to put in the work.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
In what areas do you, Andy, think that I, Elizabeth, could serve you better?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
That's not fair at all. By the way, you asked me last night to get your goddamn mouth guard and I was getting up to get it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I feel like more often than you, if we're going to be using generalized terms.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Especially because I'm so vulnerable. Okay. Next, don't overwork yourself during the day so that you have some energy left for your husband in the evening.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I think so. But also I think it's more of the like, hi, honey, here's your.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Whiskey. Yeah, yeah. Dinner's prepared. How was your day? And your clothes are all folded. Your house is lovely to come home to. Let's engage in stimulating conversation for you. Right. I'm going to put the children to bed and then, yes, we'll have sex.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So I then pick up my phone and press star 69 and find out what the phone number was who was calling me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Okay, speaking of sex, obey the Holy Spirit. There will be times when you feel led to do certain things for your husband or have vulnerable conversations. Oftentimes, that's the Holy Spirit leading us.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Last but not least, pray. Pray so hard. Pray for his work, his faith, for his happiness. Pray for everything. Cover him head to toe in prayer. I do appreciate that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
store up your energy don't put any energy towards the shit you need to do like forget about a career because you need to make sure your energy is reserved for him now if this were a couples therapist saying this to two people and a couple and it's like hey listen it sounds like by the time you both get home this is very true for us like by the end of the day you're zoinked yeah and you you're like this is the time you have to connect with each other and by that point you've got nothing in the tank yeah
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
But when it's here's how you can serve your husband better, it's tough.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
This is, yeah. I mean, I'm not, I didn't search for the most outrageous. This just came up and I thought it would be a fun thing to talk about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So the prayer thing, now this is where I'm getting a little sucked in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
You know, I used to pray a lot. I used to do the rosary. I have like a prayer book, Miracles of Medjugorje prayer book, like that the pages are worn. That's from when I was a teenager. And so prayer was a big part of my life, but it was more like Catholic prayer where it's kind of like set things that you're saying. Okay. But there was a Christian post and it was a teacher. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I think most people are not unlisted because doesn't unlisted, I mean, mean that if you're calling someone, your number's not coming up? There's no list anymore, first of all. You're talking about like the yellow pages.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, this is why we should start a podcast about it to document my slow descent into the past. pit of Christianity. So the thing that did speak to me, so I both find this very problematic. I think having Christianity in our schools is unbelievably problematic unless it's
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
a christian school obviously but to have our public schools in any way shape or form connected to christianity yeah is even even the under god part of the um pledge of allegiance is tough and i think it alienates other kids it feeds into discrimination all of this stuff mm-hmm But there was a teacher who posted a thing of her going around to, like, three different desks before the kids are there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So she gets there early in the morning, and she goes and prays over the desks of the kids who have anxiety. And I have to say, I was, like, very moved by this. You know, she's going to each— Three different desks in her classroom. So you're like, these are kids who she has pinpointed to have anxiety. Now, my concern would be as a teacher, are you thinking, oh, I've prayed over their desks.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Like, that's how I'm addressing their anxiety issues versus... Not that it's a teacher's job necessarily, but it is to be tuned in and to get kids help if they should need it. So with like the school counselor or something, they're talking to the parents. Are you just praying the anxiety away?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It's a problematic example in the sense of, just to be clearer, you don't think that gay is a problem the way anxiety is.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, yeah. I mean, I think it's – Christians pray for everything, literally everything, and that's how they're addressing things. And so here's where I'm like – I do believe in some of that. Like – I believe in when you put energy towards something, I believe that it makes some sort of difference.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I believe that when you're putting it out there, so if you're setting aside 10 minutes every night for me to pray for you, I'm praying for you up and down and left and right and wanting peace for you and hoping that you find Jesus finally.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I think that that actually has effect. Now, is it because I'm... making it a priority and it's like in my mind. And so I'm like subtly shaping things. You know what I mean? Maybe. But I also think, you know, when people get like horrible diagnoses or something and they're like, we would love your thoughts and prayers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I think there's something to that, but also it doesn't always work out in your favor. You could have the whole world praying for someone. It doesn't mean it's good.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Is that the distinction? I was very moved by it in the sense that like she is in touch with her students to know these three students have anxiety. I even think anxiety as an idea to me is kind of like, it's progressive Christianity to pinpoint that as a real thing. I often think that, at least in my Catholic upbringings, anxiety and mental health issues overall were generally dismissed and
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
You just ignored them or hid them or whatever. So I was impressed by that. I was impressed that she took the time. I'm like, I think that that's effective and beautiful as long as she is also doing the rest of the work, like we're saying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Girl, you're a daughter of God. You're not just a girl.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
When she says she's a girl and like doesn't realize she's- She's just a girl and doesn't realize she's a daughter of God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yeah, I can feel this is slowly moving. It's already gone down two inches.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It's always me. I feel like it's most often me that they're dunking on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, it depends on how trolling you're getting. I mean, that one specifically, we already talked about it, so I want to talk about some others that have come up. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
What had had a stink of misogyny on it is also crossover with this like and I've seen a lot in the Christian land, but also not Christian, where it's like really objectively hot guys like in their cars and close ups of them and just them like looking hot. And then some texts on the bottom of like they figured it all out. And I hate that so much. What do you mean they figured it all out?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm sure you've seen the one where the guy's like, if you had 24 hours with me and I had to do anything you said. What would you do? And the joke now has become like women like me going, all right, I have like my deck needs to be sanded and whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So it's annoying. The stink of misogyny of being like women are all women are saying, I'm just a girl, you know. So I'm fine with people calling it out. And it made me feel not alone when I saw some of the comments. The meaner ones are mean just for the sake of being mean. That's not cool. But also he's hacked the system and all these people have that if you're trolling him, you aren't with Jesus.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
No, he feels sorry for all these pathetic souls that are going to rot in hell. You know, he's laughing about them. Like, oh, you haven't unlocked the universe or whatever. But some other ones that I saw that were very funny. One, this guy did deserve to be trolled. And I didn't even see the end of the video because I so quickly went to the comments. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
But it was like, anytime I'm tempted and you see him going to under his bed and there's a full roll of toilet paper just sitting there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
No. He's got to be. Hey, Andy, you are not in this world like me. No, he's not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
This is a real post from a Christian... influencer okay anytime i'm tempted and he goes under his bed and there's a full roll of toilet paper and then what looks like a soft soap dispenser okay um lotion you mean just a lotion dispenser no okay it looks like a soft soap dispenser the brand
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
This is about the microphone falling. It's not about whatever. Okay, it's about the... Okay, so I was thinking about this last night because our son had his first hangout and FaceTime a friend thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
OK, he puts it on his desk and then the rest of the thing is I like and I think it's there's on his desk is a picture of Jesus or something or something. And the rest of it would be like, I'm reminded that I don't need that or whatever. Jesus basically calls him away from being tempted.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
The comments, I immediately went to the comments because the comments were so funny and I wish I had saved this post. I need to start saving them, but I don't want all of my saved posts to be this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yeah. Everyone's like, is that soap? And some people are like, is that hand sanitizer? This human being has never masturbated in his life. He's using soft soap and then thin one-ply toilet paper? He's doing paper mache on his dick with soap and toilet paper.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It looks like the soap dispensers we have in our bathroom.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It's not. I mean, I think you saw that one that was so clever. And maybe there are some out there, but this one was very, very real.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
It's like, what are the ethics of the Tradwife parodies? And some of them have never broken the veil. Like, they're so subtly a parody. There's one specific account that does such a good job. And, like, the way she places her body and her voice and everything is so Tradwife. And there's always something that's just a little bit over the line, which is saying a lot for these Tradwives.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And you... You're like, is this a parody? And she hasn't really broken the – what's that called? The fourth wall yet to say, hey, everyone, I'm totally making fun of these people.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yes, and he was pulling out all of his Pokemon cards. It was very cute.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Yes, exactly. Now, the ethics of it, first of all, I'm like, of all the things to worry about ethics, I don't think this is one of the places that matters that much. Yeah. I mean, listen, I don't know really what we have to work with, but if someone created some like podcast parody account and it was two married people talking about like literally nothing and...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
mocking this style of podcast i would probably find it very funny and fun yes so but i think that if it's so close to the content that you can't even almost tell yeah then the ethics are totally fine it's literally like shining a spotlight on it and going like
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Hey, like if you could so easily think that some guy is getting one ply toilet paper and soap out of under his bed and a picture like a picture card of Jesus Christ is stopping him in his tracks, then like. you're not really trolling anything. Do you know what I mean?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
By the way, I have a question. Like, has, I mean, the soap was the thing that really threw me and I had to go to the comment section immediately just because I was like, are guys jerking off soap?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm curious what you were going to say. Well, also, I went in, and the door was closed, and I was like, what is happening? So I opened the door, and I was like, let's keep the door open, because I just don't know why. I mean, I guess he just wants privacy, but I'm like, we're not there yet. Mm-hmm. But I was thinking about it because they were going on and on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And how about toilet paper? Like that one threw me. Is that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Like you're lathering up and then using toilet paper to like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
You know, on our Patreon episode, patreon.com slash nobody's listening right, where I was talking about my genius invention, which is the fuck-up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I thought maybe you're making your own little fuck cup and you're making a little pot of toilet paper and then you're putting a lot of soap in it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Don't say I'm a pervert. I'm not. Don't. Don't shame me. Don't do it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Okay. Okay. I need to go lay down. My back is bugging me. I think it's like anxiety. So I think we're good, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And I finally came in and I said, okay, buddy, time to wrap it up. And he was so annoyed. And I was thinking back to when we were kids, teenagers, and it must have been so annoying because it was like the landline. So that meant no calls could come in. No calls could – like the adults couldn't use the phone if they needed to. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, thank God. Can we have this person on? What's that called?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Change is hard, but it always evolves and then you get there. Look at this. What am I to do with this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
What Christmas of yours did you get? Hang on, hang on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Did you get your own, what's it called? Answering machine. Answering machine with its own cassette that you could record and it would be connected. So this is when people started getting multiple lines in the house, even though it still occupied one line. So even if you were on the phone on your line, It's like the house phone is useless, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Do you think that divorce lawyer has any opinions about what just happened?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Because it was like – I feel like that was – it was a big deal. It was one of the few – being children of the 80s, it was one of the – First times where the gift, I think, had to do with an experience and a thing. So it was like, you're also getting a phone line. Now, that probably cost all of, I don't know, 20 bucks or something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Hey, you might want to – you're like leaning down. You might want to pull it up. I don't know. Like it's not good for your – I don't know why you're like leaning down to talk to it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, I think we had taken a detour to the in-store restaurant to have some French onion soup.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I loved that one. And I would record and rerecord my outgoing message. The one that we've had, well, it's perfect because this is the day after Halloween, so Christmas is here. And it's, we wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas, but the lames are not home. So please leave your name at the sound of the tone. We will, wait, we will get back to you as soon as we're home. So home and home. Not perfect. I have some notes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So bring, do you remember that song? So bring us some figgy pudding. I was always like, what is figgy pudding? That sounds so good.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm a little on edge. Maybe I'm coming at – I don't know if I am or not. I can't tell if you're kind of – we're feeling feisty because I'm getting on a plane in a few hours. Oh, my God.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm going to Boston. It's cold there. And it's like kind of, I think, a preppy city. I also, as you know, I have...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Andy, it's like you've forgotten who I am. I used to, I mean, this is part of my winter wardrobe.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
And I want to look somewhat put together. I mean, I am wearing... What? Do I not look put together? I'm really confused.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
This is a Ralph Lauren sweater. Has a dog on it. I love this sweater. I wear it all the time. I'm going to Boston. It's cold there. So I'm pulling out my winter gear. Mm-hmm. I am incredibly anxious about the flight. I don't want to get into it really.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Well, I've just been like you're getting into my head because I've been overthinking every detail. Like I'm going for literally less than two days. I'm going for 40 hours. I'm like foaming at the mouth. So this was calculated? It's like what happens when you're spiraling about something. And if you think I hadn't gone through every piece of my wardrobe.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I mean... Wait, do I need to change? Like, honestly, Annie, I'm so confused. I'm so in my head about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
This is very casual to me. I put a collar under it, so it looks a little bit more polished. I don't know what to do.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Dog lady? Dog lady? Dog sweater lady. Lady is tough for me to hear.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
Oh, that's so nice. So maybe we don't need them on speed dial.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
So is it too immature? No. No, it's not immature. Also, I want you to know something. I feel like I don't know why, because I don't actually know why this is funny.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm like, I don't get it, but also my brain isn't really...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
141 - Dog Sweater Lady
I'm going to lean into that. I think that's the most likely situation. Because I am, I've overthought everything. I mean, I packed like I'm going on an African safari for two weeks. I'm bringing like, I mean, I am just bringing a carry-on. But I'm also, I'm bringing like my noise-canceling headphones, my neck thing, my eye.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I was like, at the end of the day, you are so kindhearted. You only mean well. We're all human. None of us can be expected to be, like, the perfect, you know, have the perfect response in every situation. And so, like, please be kind to yourself and know that they've probably not thought of it since then. You don't need to carry this with you.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And it makes me feel a little threatened.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Then I get home and like, okay, so there's an open house at the cabin.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And our real estate agent is running late because of a traffic issue that she has an accident. Right. I, in the past with a different real estate agent, when there was, she wasn't there for an open house, not because of any good reason, but because she just forgot about it or something. She was like, oh, if there are people there, can you speak to them through the ring camera?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
So you said, for the first time in a long time or something like that. I'm coming into this episode feeling unbelievably insecure.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But in this case, there were people there and I spoke through the ring camera. I think I scared the shit out of them. And.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And they were kind of like walking by the door. You know, they were like there. Yeah. Trying to figure it out. And I said like, hey... And then I just sounded so stupid talking to them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And then they were there with a real estate agent who came up to the camera and was like, I know I'm on the phone with her. We're sorting. And I was like, okay, great. And then I was like, I didn't mean to creep anyone out, you know?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But I got off and I felt this wave of humiliation and so disappointed.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I thought you would be really disappointed in me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
You don't seem that disappointed. No, I... I thought I would be honestly in trouble. Like, I was scared to tell you about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I'm doing that usually after the fact. I'm not watching them as it happens.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
No, no, it's true. Later, I don't. Because for this very reason, I don't want to accidentally go live and have them hear me or something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I don't know. I felt this wave of it. And I fucked up the washer earlier. And it's a lot to do with you. I was nervous that you were going to be so mad at me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
All the cold stuff that you had.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Anyway, let's move on from this. This is so boring. But I don't know what's going on. It's the answer. I don't know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I'm just feeling I don't know if it's the planets. I don't know. Earlier, I was feeling great. And by the way, this is not an ad, but I have a new personality. I'm going to put them on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I just put glasses on. These are my new sunglasses.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, it's just a step away from that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I want to see myself. You don't think I look really cool? No, I love them.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Big shout out to this week's sponsor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I do want to say this. If you're dating someone and they don't light you up, but they do get you hot and bothered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, it's here to help us with hair loss, thinning, and shedding. And do you remember like a month ago I was joking about how I think that hair is a missed opportunity to use as a resource for blankets and whatnot? I do, unfortunately. And I was talking to my friends about that, and they were like, how much hair are you losing?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And I was like, oh, I think like the normal amount, which I then realized is too much. Yeah. Too much. Well, enter One Skin OS1 Hair. Why would a skincare company create a scalp treatment when they've already nailed the skin treatment? Because the scalp is skin. Did you know that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And it experiences cellular aging, but instead of wrinkles, it messes with your hair follicles and natural growth cycles, leading to hair loss and thinning, something I realized I was experiencing. One Skin is here to save the day. So OS1 Hair is the first scalp serum scientifically proven to help your hair cells do what they're meant to do. Grow fuller, denser, healthier hair.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Because I like them so much. I appreciate their work. Invest in the health and longevity of your skin and scalp with Oneskin. Your future self will thank you. That's Oneskin.co, code NLR.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
It is who we named our daughter after.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And some would say that light you up is harder to come by than hot and bothered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
indeed if you can come just from light you up god bless okay joanna says ema hope no kids are listening okay i'm really i'm i'm in that headspace of like i'm doing everything wrong what do you mean i don't know carry on what did our dear friend what did our dear friend joanna have to say
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Holy shit. So did she want him to be looking in the mirror as he's reading the letter?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Wait, was she some kind of goddamn genius?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Take a look in the mirror, buddy. I need you to look at yourself in the eyes and say, I am failing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
What a cool lady. She seemed very cool.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
She played Mahjong, we found out. Yes. I do feel like really connected to her right now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I keep hearing about it. You know, people go through this, and it was just a matter of time for you. Like, my Uncle Roger, I think, is really getting into doing family tree, family history stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I do think there is something about... you know, generational trauma, I feel like we have an understanding of, but also generational joy, like just carrying on the cellular kind of energetic activities of a family line. I think there's some really interesting stuff in that. And then obviously like dysfunction and there's so much psychology in going back in time through your family.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
That's so interesting. So many secrets. So many secrets.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, can I ask you that? Actually, I was talking to someone recently who... Is going through their, like, childhood home this summer to kind of clear things out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
You know, because their last living parent is downsizing, but it's a lifetime's worth of stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
We are kind of doing that with our garage very soon. Yeah. Like maybe in a couple days where we're going to pull every single last thing out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Because our house is pretty organized and spoken for. Yeah. But garage is where chaos comes to live. And I need it to also be organized. And I realized about myself, I know that my New Year's resolution was to get messy. But what I've realized is that...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
My sense of security is like genuinely lies in my space being organized and feeling, you know, in January we went through the fires, which obviously we made it through unscathed. We have so many friends who lost so much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But my response was, I want to get everything whittled down to so little. It makes me feel like I'm in control. It makes me feel secure. And I think part of that is going through my parents' stuff. Even though they had moved pretty recently, they weren't hoarders or anything. Which brings me to your parents' stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
What's the deal? Because I will say, you know, they have a beautiful home. It's not, it's like lovely and it's not hoardery at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
They have a lot of collectibles.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And it's all organized, like, but every inch of the walls is covered with like something, you know, photos and stuff. And so I know that your home in Boyd or in Sun Valley, Idaho, that you grew up in.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I have that exact thought. That would be very interesting. I just found and sent my sister a video. I think at one point in time, you and I had... Or I had actually, probably before meeting you, transferred some videos onto something else. But anyway, somehow this video of my mom's like third or fourth birthday party.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah. I just stumbled upon it again because I was looking through old drives and I sent it to my sister. But it is so cool to see. And it's so wild because this was 1948. You know, to see the little girls and all dressed up and they're like nannies and the way the women looked. And also to see my grandmother naked. Who I only knew as someone who was bedridden and had ALS and was in a wheelchair.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And to see her in her prime, she seemed like a formidable, beautiful woman.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I do not like the buzz cut. And it makes me think it's no offense. I mean, I like you in any form. And if you ever lost your hair for any reason, you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But that was also, it reminds me of, I feel like your driver's license at the time, you looked like a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love your hair. And I'm like, just keep that medoxidil going, you know, for as long as possible.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I know. I mean, you did your whole Carly thing. I almost feel like you're coming at this with judgment and concern. But honestly, what you are is jealous. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Very cool, Joanna. Whoa. Southern California girl.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I got to get eyes on the points guy and see if he's hot.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
He is, no, he's, okay, Brian Kelly is his name. He's, you know, not my, like.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Listen, he lights me up, but he's not getting me hot and bothered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But that's nothing. He's objectively very good looking, and I'm sure he has plenty of sex with many hot women. And I'm probably not his type. It just wasn't going to work out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yes. Anyway, so... Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Okay. He's got millions of followers. You know, he's the real deal. And he... Oh, my God. But he helps you find the best... Points, opportunities. Now, here's what I will say. I have purchased things, and I'm conscientious about this, in the last week that I wouldn't have necessarily bought right then.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
on my card that were expiring. And it's stuff that I buy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Like Kiehl's shampoo. I buy that. So I'm like, I might as well buy it at this discount and to get points.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Nobody's listening, right? Hi, Andy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Because there was a big points-portunity thing. Where if you sign up for the card and we are going to be traveling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Now, here's where I'm thinking. We have a specific card that gives you lots of points for travel and stuff. But it's not really accepted everywhere. Okay. It's not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And we're going to be traveling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah, we got so many comments about that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And we want a card that has, like, no foreign transaction fees.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And that would get us points. Okay. Because, for example, I bought your round-trip ticket to Paris on points.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yes. This was the first hit. This was like the first gambling win at the casino where you then, a year later, you're giving blowjobs on the corner to try to pay off your debts. This was that moment. I had two browsers open. I was looking for the flights.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Okay. Okay. Okay. So I had your open, and then me and the kids are traveling.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah, very upset. Now, we should probably go to Panda.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, just because... Well, first of all, so selfless of me because you can get upgraded.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Also, it just felt I want I don't know. I just wanted me and the kids to be lumped together since I'm in charge of the travel and I have all of the is my account and stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And I did. So I got four seats and four seats.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yep. And that was the first hit. And then, and I had transferred my points from that one credit card to the airline. When I did that, I got a $200 credit on the airline. Like, you start to get in on the ins and outs, and you might think it's for suckers. Let me tell you what's for suckers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Having a credit card where you pay an annual fee and not knowing what the offers are and the deals are and the ins and outs when it happens, you're missing hundreds, if not thousands of dollars of opportunity.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
No, it's stuff that you would be. I mean, yes, I'm sure there are people who see they're like, oh, that's the wind for them. Sure. Okay. Like, oh, there's a deal on Dell computers. I wasn't going to buy a Dell computer, but now I am because of this and it's double points or whatever.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Okay, we're going to Boise in a few weeks for five days.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
One of our credit cards has a program connected to the Hilton family of hotels.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Everything. And so I got this new credit card that's going to help us travel better. And I got a really good points deal. So anyway, the Hilton hotels situation. Yeah. You can apply points now through our credit card I already got. And you know about this gold status as a Hilton Honors member. I have never stayed at a Hilton. I'm already gold status, baby.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah, we're lucky we're close by. Because you do have to wonder, has the quality kept up all these years?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
The credit card unlocks everything.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But it's the same, I imagine, is how you feel about the leasing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Now, when we are traveling, we're going to have access to some airport lounges.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I think. I need to look into it more. But this is a thrill and a half. I love it. I'm saving us money. Now I am spending money. But ultimately, I'm really being careful not to spend money on something that I wouldn't be buying anyway.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
So I always buy this one Kiehl's product that's pretty expensive. And it was time to re-up. And I was looking at this credit card offers. And there it was. And you get cash back if you use this credit card. So that's just like a cash back situation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I was looking through the credit card offers.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I don't have the email. I'm just looking on their website like a lot. Okay. And things come and go. But here's the other thing we haven't done, Andy. We're spending so much money on subscriptions.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
For Hulu Plus and Disney and Paramount and Netflix and blah, blah, blah, boo, boo, boo.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
We need to look because there are oftentimes great offers, points, opportunities from these credit cards. And I will be honest, there's something you bought recently.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
You went somewhere recently and spent some money.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I don't remember what it was, but it was like you ordered something from somewhere. Anyway, long story short, that day later, I looked on one of the credit card websites and there was a cashback offer that we missed out on. And that was a dark moment for me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah, like right away. Like that airline credit came right away.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
The real worry is that I open too many credit cards.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Oh, no, we do. We do. Because I'll tell you why.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
It serves a purpose for us because we're going to be able to use it in a foreign country with no foreign fees. The other credit card we have and use isn't accepted a lot of places in foreign countries, especially the one that we're going to. Yeah. I highly recommend everyone look into this. I think check out the points guy.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
He's the guy. And now I get his email that tells me what the great deals are. And also, like, once you get a few layers into this, like, you might think, oh, I have this many points. I'm going to transfer them. So for Hilton Honors, our credit card, it goes one to two points each. So if you transfer 1,000 points, you get 2,000 with the hotel.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yes, Hilton Honors. That's where I'm a gold member.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And so also you might you might be foolish and apply your credit card points to towards an airline seat instead of racking up more points and buying a saver seat. You get more for your money that way. And the points guy will also let you know, like, you'd be better off using those points with this like Star Alliance program right now because the exchange rate is better. It's all of this stuff.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Oh, I'm so excited to chat with you for an hour as though no one's listening. I gotta wonder, though. This is what today's gonna be like. Is anyone out there listening?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
We're in a massive amount of credit card debt.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But it's all good. It's all good. What is money, you know? What is money?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I mean, it is a little bit. It does make you think that. I was just recently thinking about when we were in high school or college, Lauryn Hill got in trouble for not paying taxes. Do you remember that?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And I remember being like, around conversations about it where it was like she was so villainized for that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Why are you putting question marks on everything? I thought you said it was, oh, what are you talking about? It's got 1.6 thousand reviews, four stars. Yeah. The way you painted it was like, I assumed we were looking at a three or below.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But the truth is, now that I see what our taxes go to, you know, literally starving children and like in our country and others.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And The way money is mishandled, even in Los Angeles, okay, let's make it more micro.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
The L.A. budget that just came out, like the way money is handled and where I'm like my tax dollars are going to these things I firmly believe are harmful versus things that would be actually useful and purposeful and keep people safe and things like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
For example, trying to get a crossing guard.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
That program's, you know, getting slashed. But then other programs, of course, are untouched. And it's like overtime for police officers where I think police officers are important. But L.A. has a history of bloating that department. And when we have four police helicopters overhead because someone stole a purse... I'm like, there is a disparity in how resources are being used.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Lauryn Hill, me, like, villainizing her in my mind and being like, everyone should pay taxes. And now I'm like, I get it. If you're taking a stand against paying taxes towards and, like, your money is not being used the right way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I feel like she was a stand taker.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Oh, I thought she was like taking a stand.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But then you see people like Elon Musk and the hoarding of wealth and the not paying of taxes and the new bill that they're trying to put through where like wealthy people are going to pay disproportionately less taxes while poor people are paying more. It's like, it's all so fucked up.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Which, by the way, I was talking to a friend and I think kind of astutely, I thought I put a connection between what happened there and what's happening now in my industry. Yeah. Which is like everything. It was the golden age of like getting mortgages and buying houses and people were getting. I mean, we got a mortgage that was like interest only. Right, right. Ridiculous.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
They were just handing them out like candy. And it wasn't sustainable. And so everything collapsed. But the banks got bailed out. The people did not. And I feel like then banks don't – these huge corporations aren't paying taxes and they're being – It's all – whatever. I'm an idiot and I don't know what I'm talking about. But – and there are much smarter people writing stuff about this.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But that's something I learned from you. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
People work the system. But just at the root system of it, like, the capitalistic society we're in, through a child's eyes, when they're like, how come some children don't get food?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
It really is. And then there are people who just throw money around like on, you know, these like $50,000 bottles of wine or something that's going to be consumed. And I don't know. I don't want to demonize anyone for being what they're into.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
You mean like – I said thousand.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But it is like who's to say what the limit is, you know.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Getting in trouble. Well, what a weird episode. I know that, like, I see a future where you and I could become points hackers together. And honestly, like, here's a perfect example, okay, of how it's serving us. When we're going to Boise, we're staying at a hotel that I, like, might not normally stay at.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I do. I do. I'm more persuaded. Okay. Oof. I don't remember this last review I posted, but here I am with an update after the remodel.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And I'm totally fine with staying there because it's all about the points. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But that's a good example of somewhere where we're saving money. Okay. That's another place we get like a cashback sort of voucher situation. Yeah. We're saving points. We might roll those points over to you. Okay, just stop. But anyway, you might be on this journey with me and I would love it. And don't close yourself off to it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
All right, good night. Good night.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Of the Panda Inn. This is an updated review. Very recent.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Too long, don't read or something. TLDR means too long, didn't read. Wow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Had to pair everything with loads of rice. Great. Oh, this doesn't even count. Ordered via Uber Eats. You didn't even go and sit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And then listen to this lovely response from Panda Inns Management. Great. Dear Kelly, thank you for taking the time to review your dining experience. I'm sorry to hear your meal did not meet your experience. You're valuable. I think that's a typo. And he meant expectations. Your valuable feedback allows our establishment to maintain great quality of food.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Please rest assured I have shared your feedback with the chefs, and we will work with the team to keep improving the menu. We sincerely hope you have the chance to welcome you back again for an improved experience. From Kevin, the store manager.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
From the chefs? He's the manager.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Oh, ew. Why don't you go fuck her?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Kelly, are you one of these fucking Erewhon chicks? Because we were watching Jolly last night. Yeah. A YouTube food people. We love Jolly, yeah. And they had gone to Erewhon and gotten some Asian dishes. And it was so healthy and had no anything good.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And was no salt, no flavor. Yeah. The predominant flavor in the fried rice was apparently... Celery. Celery. So if you're that type of person, your palate has adapted to Southern California, like health food.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
It's not going to be for you. Don't go to Panda Inn.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But are you going to start calling it Express? Are you going to start correcting your brother? Panda is actually Panda Inn. And there's only one of them.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I am nervous because I feel like this is the type of place where I'm going to find some meat sneaking into my portions.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, because it's happened at Panda Express.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I don't know, like 20 years ago in a mall somewhere.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah. Speaking of, can we talk about something that happened at a restaurant recently?
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, you were there for it. Great. So was... I hope I remember. St. Monica.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
We went to one of our favorite places, Houston's, where the baked potato bunch or potato posse. Nothing's really stuck, to be honest. I've been trying very hard to get a potato thing going between the three of us, and it never sticks. But you always like to order the artichoke spinach dip.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I'm joking. Okay. Someone is not going to like that I said that out there. Perhaps a lot of people. Maybe even Joanna herself. I just want Joanna to know that's my stuff. That's not her stuff.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And honestly, I usually go just as hard as you do, if not harder on that shit.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Now it makes my stomach turn. So we went and sat down and I think it was a listener maybe who said, I think it might have chicken broth in it. And I think that was brave of them to share that. And so we sat down and I said, I'm going to ask. And we debated, the three of us, is it the smart thing to ask? Is it going to ruin the experience for me? Is it going to retroactively ruin it for me?
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And the answer is yes to all everything. It is ruining it for me now. It is ruining it for me retroactively now. It makes me feel a little sick thinking about it. Yeah. But had I not asked, I would assume that to be the case. So there was always a chance that I would ask, and they would go, oh, no. I think way back when we did, but now it's completely vegetarian.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, I'll be honest with you. I had gummy bears recently, and it turned my stomach, too, thinking about it. I might be off of them. Okay. But I've been on and off of them for years. Mm-hmm. Gummy bears, Haribo especially, they're just so fucking good.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, but gelatin is made from what?
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Gelatin is... Wait, what am I Googling?
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
It's honestly making me feel so nauseous.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Well, Haribo products made in Turkey and those specifically marketed as halal or kosher are probably made with beef gelatin.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Extracting collagen. Well, that's interesting that a nutritionist would say it's so bad for you when, like, I have friends who, like, I feel like are eating collagen or something.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I think I might be off them. I might be really a vegetarian now.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
But, I mean, I think there are vegetarians out there who are shocked to hear.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I think lit up, you know, sometimes is like you get that like the look you, you know, you have when you mentioned Joanna's review, like a light behind your eyes, a joy, joie de vivre.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Yeah, yeah. You got to be careful.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
out there okay but i do feel see i also have i'm having like social anxiety i'm feeling it from you like i it's like kind of uncomfortable to be around you right now like do you know what i mean like it feels very weird i don't know what is going on i mean but i'm feeling like i'm saying the wrong thing and you know what's interesting huh i had a big conversation with one of our kids this morning yeah who is reflecting on something that she said to a friend like a
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
And have I taken that on? Is this some weird mother thing?
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
No, but I am feeling like I'm saying all the wrong things.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Even doing this podcast, like... I'm scared that people out there are going to go, she said to fuck Joanne. And then also, like... Gelatin, are you kidding me? And I'm so disappointed. And these are people I don't even know.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
I never in a million years thought. I don't know why. You made a good point. Why wouldn't I think that? Anyway, if you're listening, our wonderful principal, we love you and think the world of you. Okay. I also did something and I felt true shame and embarrassment.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
We were talking about something, and I didn't even know how to handle this. But I do think, like, I don't think this is typical of me to be experiencing this. But I think that this is something we're going to need to work on with one of our kids, who is such a tenderhearted, kind person. And so emotionally intelligent, way beyond what you or I expected.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
Were certainly then, or even are, I don't know.
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171 - Elizabeth Is Feeling Very Insecure
No, you weren't. Go on. You didn't have a care in the world. Anyway, I was trying to help her through something. It's one of those things that I do know, even though I don't consider this a huge part of my life experience. But when you look back on something and you're like, oh, is that person upset with me? Did I do something? You know, X, Y, Z, PDQ. And anyway. Talked her through it.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
So there's tons of astrology happening this year. That seems like it's going to be a doozy.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Shockage. Ringworm. Psoriasis. No, eczema, impetigo.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. What is impetigo? It's the skin condition. It's not good.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Anywho, and this person deeply affected their lives. Now, I will say eczema affected my life in a big way because our child who had colic had eczema. And I was trying to connect the dots and going, maybe it's this eczema that's making them so uncomfortable. And so I was breastfeeding.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And so I did an elimination diet down to the point where all I was eating literally was white rice, lentils, and potatoes. I was miserable. Never got to the end of it. And then guess what happens? The colic lifts one day and it's like,
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It just fades away, you know? And so I can imagine that if you're a mother or sister... Yeah, what's the scenario? Okay, my big sister who has a heart... Not my sister. She has perfect skin.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay. Okay. She was going about her life and everything was good. And then eczema started to creep in. Tough years. It was right after puberty. And it took hold in a major way. And not only is it itchy, uncomfortable. Now, because society isn't open to it yet, it's unsightly.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I know, this is why I'm like, society hasn't come around to it and this bumper sticker is trying to change that. My sister should be able to go outside and go to the movies like everyone else and not have people stare at her or judge her.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And it's hard to see. It's hard emotionally to see someone go through that. So I want to take away the stigma. And I love someone with eczema.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I am getting the impression it might be a tough one collectively. And I mean, given the state of things, you know, our country's so divided, Trump's taking office, all of this stuff. I think that it's going to be a doozy.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It's been such a journey. She's gone to 85 different doctors. She's tried Western medicine, Eastern, like you name it. And this is something she's going to have to live with. And it's hard for her and she wishes that people didn't judge her. And we have this conversation like, wouldn't it be great? This is a...
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
condition or a disease like anything else, people who have, well, I feel like a lot of diseases have stigmas, but let's, for example, say people who have diabetes or something like that, they can still go out in the world and not be, you know, people feel compassion towards them. And so I said to my sister, You want me to like spread the word.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And also I've become involved in the American National Eczema Society. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, there's another scenario of this, which is like mom's got eczema. It's all we hear about. She has adult children.
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I don't think so. I don't think so. Think about this bumper sticker, though, and the beauty of it. And we're listening to this podcast, Telepathy Tapes, right now, which is very interesting. And I hope we'll go a long way to destigmatize autism. And we have been around autistic people. And we're friends with autistic people. We have... very close people in our lives who are neurodivergent.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And so we, I think, for a long time have known how wonderful autism can be and how, of course, also the challenges that come with it. But I think that it's considered this negative Condition and in fact people I know who have autism.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I wouldn't want them like any different, you know, of course, so This podcast is going a long way especially to destigmatize nonverbal Autistic people right and in fact celebrate aspects about them and what if a bumper sticker said someone I love is has autism and
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Exactly. Right, right, right. And you get it. And you understand what that is. And so I think that this is... The fact that we're even having... This is on the forefront of eczema.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Those people are ahead of the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
2024 was a year I was happy to say goodbye to. Yeah. Now, also saying this, like, I know we are so fortunate and so lucky. And my life is so, like, it's an embarrassing amount of riches in terms of the love I have and the people in my life, my friendships, my family, everything.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah, it was a hard year. It was tough for me, especially my work situation, all this bullshit. So I'm very excited about opening the chapter to the new year, even if astrologically it seems like it might be a doozy. And I think it might be. Mm-hmm.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay, well, that's interesting because... No, it's not. It's someone who believes in, like, aliens and... Listen.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay. So, astrology has been around. It's in the Bible. There's stuff about astrology. Like, Jesus... There's something about Jesus being a Pisces and man of fish and stuff like that. Like, it's... This has existed for thousands of years. Now, astrology is something to be interpreted, right? I don't know why I'm so passionately... I don't care if people believe it or not. Just like, I don't care.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
But I will say, unlike other religions, I don't think astrology... It's in a religion now? No, it's not. Unlike other... But you know what I'm saying.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay. It doesn't hurt people to believe in astrology and find hope in it. Unlike religions is what I'm trying to say.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay. Is this negative like specifically to me?
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That's fair enough. But I think that when I let it influence me, it's always in a way that only makes things more positive for me. Even if the thing is like, today is going to be hard. Or, you know, take it easy today. Or think twice before you, like, speak to something, to someone. Yeah. That's so stupid.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
But astrology is interpreted, okay? And it's complex. There's like a lot of complexity to it. Layers. The stuff that we know is like, oh, I'm a Virgo, so this means I'm like this, this, and this. But the truth is, you look at your birth, it's all about...
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
physically the planets and how they are aligned when you entered this world and how then your journey through this life on this earth is going to be affected by the planets and the thing i always say what do you always say is you know the moon you're losing me do you know that the moon pulls the ocean like yeah tides sure And we are, I don't know, 70, 80 something percent water.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Why is it crazy that planets would not affect us in similar ways?
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And on top of that, speaking of telepathy tapes, you know, that whole podcast is about some people having the ability to read minds and communicate without speaking.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
There is, in my opinion, so much more to like our experience here and our dumb little human brains are kind of like keeping us stuck in our thoughts and our whatever. And so I don't think it's crazy at all to think that like...
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
these massive planets with these massive energy fields and different ways interacting and when they come close or far or whatever would be affecting us both individually and collectively.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
That's what I was saying, like idiots. You were like, I'm an Aries.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I also want to say there are those kind of internet astrologers. The person that I go to once a year to speak to, her stuff does ring true. And it's much more... She's like a soul astrologer. It's much more kind of... therapeutic and it's less like, here's what's going to happen. It's not predicting. It's not like a psychic.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It's like, this is a time where these feelings might come up or this might be what you're focused on or you might have more energy for this or less for that.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Those typically, and this is Heidi Rose Robbins.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
So 2025, I want to get messy. so stupid but i wrote i wrote out all of these goals do you have in your wherever you're writing these goals does it say i want to get messy let me see hang on i have it right here i did this okay um so i split my goals down into health money work and life okay whoa um
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
You'll love that part of health is sex once to twice a week.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I did. That's what I'm talking about. Hang on. Let's see. Did I put? Yes. Life. More joy. Get messy.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, it means... Okay, I'll be totally honest. We had this whole thing happen here at the cabin, which was I tend to get very overwhelmed. We've talked about mental load. It is a thing. Women, especially around holidays, carry the mental load. Now, you do a lot. You are... So...
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
much but i kind of reached and also we also we also talked about this hang on i i kind of reached a breaking point last night because i'm just you know the christmas explosion happened i'm just constantly walking around cleaning putting tidying laundry dishes food yeah yeah And I also think it comes from after losing my parents and having all this stuff. Stuff overwhelms me.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And not having everything in its place stresses me out. And so sometimes when I'm having big feelings about other things, it manifests in caring about that. And unfortunately, you and the kids often bear the brunt of that. And so I came out and snapped at everyone. And then we had a big conversation later.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And it made me realize, I don't want to be the mom that our kids think of as like, oh, we couldn't get messy.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
But so you literally mean like... Well, I want to let things roll off my back more. That's just one example. The other way I mean get messy, like some of my life goals are to... I want to give back more. Like, I want to maybe, you know, cook food. There's a program called Homey Made Meals in LA. Like, cook food for homeless people or unhoused. You know, check out some nursing homes.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I would love to do that. So I want to see what the deal is. I don't know. I don't have any inns at nursing homes here.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, we used to have more money, but I want to, these are things I'm like, I want to make a priority. Okay. Other part of getting messy is like, I want to do classes. I want to, I feel like we've become hermits who, you know, I just always default to not doing things, not trying things. I want to get out there more and mess up. What are your goals? Have you written out?
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I haven't written anything down. Have you not done a list of, I have 10 items in each?
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Oh, I would do that. So our dear friends, Maddie and Sarah, who are musicians, Maddie has a sub stack that I read, and I was really inspired by her wife, Sarah, who is an artist called Illuminati Hotties. She does this goal setting, and Maddie wrote in her sub stack, like, She's so audacious that she would have the gall to write down, I want to win a Grammy. Yeah.
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Yeah. Sarah. So I'm really inspired by that. So I wanted to make these very clear goals. Now, some of them are things that like... I want to do Pilates two to three times a week, I can kind of check in on myself. Totally.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Some of them are, like, audacious, like, I want to win a Grammy, you know. Yeah, type things. I want this podcast, for example, to hit a certain number that might sound a little crazy, but I want to, like, grow this podcast in a big way this year. And so I don't have control over, like, what number of downloads this podcast get, but I think...
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
When you write it down and you know that's the goal and you put energy into it, there is something, and it's scientifically proven, writing down your goals over and over, even if it's not the, like, steps you're taking, even if it's just this, like, dream.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
something happens cellularly that takes you closer to that. Like you will move in that direction when you write this down. So similar to Sarah, I want to start writing down a couple of mornings a week. You know, I do my gratitude journal also going, what goals am I going to work towards today? And what am I going to do?
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
God, it looked like you said ghost or something. That really freaked me out. Well, I just thought of one that would be on my list that I definitely never achieved. Gotcha. But I also think... You know, I wanted to be an actor at one point. And now I'm like, thank God that didn't work out for me because I think I feel much more fulfilled in my path and also having friends who are actors.
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I know what it takes and I know like it would be emotionally hard for me to do it.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, we also have to say this is in East L.A.
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Because in an ideal, I truly believe this, in an ideal world, and I know that there are some cities in the world that are like this, all of us would be riding our bikes around. There would be like 1 50th of the amount of cars. The streets should be structured for bikers and pedestrians. The way our world in East LA is is very much structured for cars.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, to me, I think it's writing it down. And the thing I'm excited about is what am I going to do? Now, I obviously have 40 goals here for this year. So I'm not going to be writing down all 40 of these every day.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
But I'm like, I think that they'll alternate. And so if I'm writing down like, I want our podcast to hit this number, what am I doing today? Well, maybe it's today I'm getting on our Instagram account and like, with the people who have messaged us or I'm, you know, it's like steps to take to kind of, do you want me to rattle off a few?
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
okay dance parties after dinner that's something that we used to do with the kids a lot like we'd finish dinner and we'd throw some music on and have a little dance party hello it's good for everyone and it's fun and it's also like so good for your blood sugar um stretch every day i feel so good when i stretch Okay. Oh, money.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I want to move, like we have some retirement funds and stuff and like a brokerage account where they, I've never literally talked to a single person there and they charge fees. I want to move it to a non-fee brokerage account.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Okay. Work. A lot of podcast goals with work, actually. And then several writing goals. Writing, I had a year where I worked really, really hard to try to sell something. Nothing sold. And it was three different projects. And it's not like, as you know, that meant...
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35 different pitches like from pitching to producers to it's just it's a lot of work to take out a project and so this year I want to focus more on like really creative writing And doing it for me and kind of getting in like I'm working on a feature. I've never sold a feature.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I'm not in features, but I'm excited about it because it feels there's something about it feels like before I was working in TV where there's like a hunger for it in a way. As I mentioned, I want to do more giving back date night oil painting. And also, I want to do the same for our kids. Like, put them in classes and try and think. I mean, they are in classes.
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But I feel like we're kind of in the routine of like, okay, it's basketball, then it's soccer. I kind of want to try more fun things like a family cooking class we take together.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah, but you. Relentlessly messy. You go to, I mean, similar, not as messy oil painting, though, is like.
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But going to the studio, like if you and Otis, I think that would be so sweet for you guys to take a pottery class together. There are many great pottery studios. Mary Elizabeth did pottery. Okay. All around us, you know, like take him to a studio and that's where you do it and that's where the mess is and that's where the kiln is and you should do that.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Oh, I think that clay would help. For real? It would only help. It would only help? Yeah. Yeah. People do like clay masks and clay is good.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
No, I don't think you should do it at the house. I don't think you're getting a pottery wheel.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
So it does take a certain kind of person who's like, and I admire it. You know what? I'm going to get out there on my bike and I'm going to haul my kids around. I'm going to call my shit around. That's my mode of transportation.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
No, you're going to go to the studio and do it. And then similar to like me with oil painting, once you kind of are in it and start to learn little things, like then you can see how invested you want to get.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It says classes, oil painting, French painting.
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I'm going to finish the painting that I started in the class I went to.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
With my easel. I needed an easel. Like, I haven't been doing it because I've been hoping I would get an easel.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. And so I'm really excited about it actually. And then I'll probably do YouTube and then maybe splurge on a class at some point.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
We know someone, a parent at our school, who goes to Friday morning oil painting classes nearby.
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149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And loves them. And so that would be something I would love to do eventually once money was flowing a little bit more. Got it. Let me look at my money section.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. Uh-huh. I'm excited about the year ahead. I really am. And you and I have some projects that we're excited to get out there. And I feel like this year, what the good that has come of it is I, on a personal level, I know that, you know, lots of people are struggling in many ways, but all of us, like our family is doing great. I feel closer than ever to all like as a family unit.
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And it's not usually the people who, they're of course people who can't afford to have a car and have other modes of transportation or taking the bus and biking and whatever. This is someone who probably has a Tesla in the driveway. Yeah.
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it's made me realize how the work stuff, like the real important thing. And the thing that got me to my career in the first place is being creative and approaching things with awe and curiosity. And I want more of that in life. And that's why like classes and being messy and it's not to be so rigid in my life. And like, I almost feel like I was defeated this year where I,
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didn't go out and do things or try things because I felt so like, I have to get this shit going. Like I have to sell this thing or whatever it was. And that all my energy went to this kind of stressful panic instead of, I really want to be open because it served me before.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It's like being creative and curious and like, and we'll figure it out, you know, and I have you and we're doing stuff together and it's going to be good.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. It makes you feel... You know, a few days ago I was feeling really bad. I was in a bad mood.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I did not even go outside that day. Right. And it's like these daily walks make such a huge difference, even if it's 15 minutes, you know? Yeah. So...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I'll get more specific. I got to drill down. Because you are so negative usually. But lately when I've been kind of like, oh my God, how are we going to do this and all that stuff, you have such a way of reassuring me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, it is. I feel very reassured about, you know, there are things that right now we're embarking on and investing in. And to me, it feels very scary and kind of like we're throwing the dice. But you have a sense of like, this is the path.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And your sense of assuredness is very, very comforting to me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
What are you going to do this year? I'm going to try.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I feel like, I mean, I don't like the resolutions that are self-flagellating, like the diets that start or the, you know, XYZ. But I do like resolutions that, as you're saying, kind of reset and are invigorating.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Because I always used to think of resolutions are always diets, right? And it's punishing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Right. Or I'm going to exercise. What's going to be taken away from me.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. those resolutions yes unless that's what you want to do sure because those can be health related as long as you're wearing a helmet while biking your infant daughter around i don't know why i made it a daughter why not i mean um you do you you know Well, anyway, I'm excited for this year. I hope our listeners have amazing beginnings to the year. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And also, gratitude is a big thing, and I'm very grateful, as I know you are as well, for this podcast because it's all we've got.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
They're eating, what's that granola called? Bare naked granola every day.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I know. It does make me nervous. It makes me nervous. It's not their fault I'm nervous. It's because people drive like such assholes. Even like... I don't need to get into it, but crossing the street to get to school feels hazardous at a four-way stop sign thing where I am on high alert because people are such pieces of shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah. You've got to. You've got to wear that. This is very akin, and it's the same person. I guarantee you that those parents, when they're out, With their dog, and they have a dog. It's not on a leash.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I'm so excited to talk to you for an hour. So no one's listening. Nobody. We're up at our cabin. So it's a different look and probably sound.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, I don't know. I'm just saying it's the same.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
It's, I'm not, there is such an entitlement to having your dog off the leash.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
But I'm not comparing. I wasn't bringing this up to say that's a worse infraction or not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I'm just saying that these people also don't have their dog on a leash when they're walking around the world because they think that they're, you know, that guy owns like those bare feet running shoes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
they're living an urban lifestyle but also think that I don't know rules don't apply in some ways and the helmet thing is so interesting to me because there I thought we had moved past this but like when I was in college my roommate her her family had this thing about helmets almost like it was
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Dorky, but also I can't even wrap my head around it now.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I know. It's crazy. I know. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I thought something was going to happen, but you just saw something. Nothing happened. You're just infuriated.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, sure. I mean, why should you? This is something, though, okay, similar to the dog thing.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I mean, I went through a phase where when, as we know, if I saw a dog off leash, I was given my opinion. Yeah. Now I see dogs off a leash all the time, and I'll pet them, and I'll smile at their owner. Like, I've moved past it, and I'm like, that's their thing. Right. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
you're so you're rage about this is it mostly the justice that you're seeking on behalf of this infant yeah okay yeah that's and i feel bad like i'm like you have the dumbest fucking parents yeah built but there are a lot of dumb parents you know it doesn't take you don't have to pass the test to get knocked up i mean in some ways you do which test Can you fuck? Or what? Can you fuck or what?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Our kids are downstairs. We can't be our true selves. Can you fuck or what? You have, like, when you did that, your lips shaking a little bit. Ew, don't do that. But, you know, you have a lie face. And it involves your lips quivering a little bit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And like, what was the thing that you did? You said that they didn't, oh, you told me that you couldn't, you forgot to bring the PS5 controllers up to the cabin. Yeah, yeah. For this week's vacation. And I knew instantly you were lying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
I don't know, but you were playing the part. You were lying about who you were.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
You were acting. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's a good thing you didn't pursue television acting.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Like, it is... It's a skill. But what was very funny about that ADR session was that our friends there who is doing this with us, and you're kind of at the controls, right? You're recording everyone. So you did have a lot on your plate. It's not like you just showed up and... That's being generous. But...
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
And you said something so mean to me that our friend said she still thinks about like weeks later.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
You said something like, it sounds like you're in like beginners to acting class. Yeah.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
That's so nice. I mean, I do appreciate the ones that really put some effort into it, but I love that. They took the time. They let us know. That's what I want to hear. I love it. Okay, so it's New Year's Day 2025.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
No, you can't be a director like that. You can't come in hot. And also, have you ever heard of the first pancake?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
You know, I learned this the hard way because I was on set and a director is like doing their first thing. And you go, as a producer, you go over to give notes and you're like, we actually can, you know, what we're looking for here is this. And that's not what was delivered.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
After the first take. And were they like, it's just the first fucking pancake. Yes.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Well, this director I happen to love deeply, but.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Yeah, exactly. Like, I know, I know. It's the first pancake. Let us get there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
No. Okay. Had you, like, blown us away, maybe it would have been harder. But then you went, and it was like... No, I have nothing to worry about. I do have, I mean, I didn't bring it up, or maybe I did during that session. I have, like, complicated feelings around doing voiceover.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
All right. Because I had a voiceover coach who groomed me and then assaulted me, and then it turned out he did it to 60 other women. Yeah. Speaking of pieces of shit.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
Our babies had... I mean, one of our babies had severe eczema. Now... I had eczema. I had... What's it called? Empatigo.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
What a beautiful thing. Let's break this down. I suspect this isn't a case of like us living with eczema where it's like, oh, my baby had eczema now. Hold on.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
149 - 2025 Let's Get Messy!
No, no. I think it is nuclear. I think that it is a severe case of eczema that has been debilitating for someone. And there is stigma around it. And it might be someone... I mean, it's the same thing with psoriasis and...
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
Yes. Hi, Charlie. How are you today?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
I'm all right. Actually, I'm very upset because long story short, my father died in a nursing home during COVID in April of 2020. And When it first happened, we assumed that like everyone else, oh, a nurse had gotten COVID and it spread throughout. We didn't find out until months later that Andrew Cuomo literally and deliberately put COVID positive patients into nursing homes.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
And I want people to understand every single person with a family member in a nursing home got a phone call on March 9th saying we are shutting down the nursing homes for their safety and you cannot come see your family. So they locked me out. Because I may or may not have COVID. And then 15 days later, they deliberately put COVID positive patients in the nursing homes.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
He was told, if you do this, thousands of people will die. How is this man still politically viable and running for the mayor of New York City?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
And so they got him out on me, too, instead of the mass murder, because Murphy is Governor Murphy and Governor Wolf in Pennsylvania, both did the exact same thing he did. But if they got Cuomo out on it, they would have had to taken out the other governors on this. So did Whitmer up in Michigan. So like four governors did this.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
no one's being held accountable there was an investigation by the department of justice under the trump administration when biden came back and came in unfortunately the first thing they did was they squashed that investigation and i don't know if are they going to start that up again that's a good question i don't know new york state was 15 300 people it was like 9 000 people in new jersey and 8 000 people in pennsylvania and rachel levine whatever her first real name is she
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
Also did the same order in Pennsylvania for Governor Wolf. She pulled her mother out of the nursing home the day before that order was going to take place.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 214: Picking Campus Visits? Vegas Shooting Truth? 2025's Most Crucial Election?
Thank you, Charlie.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
This is bananas. We were seeing a marriage counselor, and she would she had known that it had been physical before, like before this happened. And she was like, she was like, you know, I'm not going to tolerate that, but I want you guys to know like what you're doing with this normal. And like, he's repeated that back to me. I can't even tell you how many times like this is normal.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Like what we're going through is normal. And I'm like, this is not like something is wrong here.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I think maybe my babysitter. I thought about staying where I'm at and getting an order of protection out and maybe filing for emergency contact, but I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
The jail is literally two streets over from where I live, so it's like I'm worried about him. Sure. Just walking over. We've talked and he said, oh, I won't. I understand if you don't want I pay for a contested divorce, but.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I'll just give some backstory. Me and my husband met in 2023 in February. Um, we got married in November. We found out we were having a baby in December. So fast forward, our son is now seven months old and, um, It's been really rocky. Um, we had an argument Friday and it escalated and there was some physical, um, abuse, I guess you would say.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I mean, he says he does, but he says like he, that he, I don't know that he just struggles.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
And I've like, like I pay for his insurance, pay for all of our insurance and we get free like therapy and stuff like that. And, He's not downloaded the app or anything like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I think that's closer to like what it is.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Um, he was charged with, um, aggravated assault against me and is now in jail. And I'm, I'm torn between like leaving or staying. Like I feel guilty. I feel like I'm kind of ruining his life. Um, So I don't really know where to go or what to do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I first had my son, so he'd become really distant to the point where he would pull all-nighters playing a video game. He would go to work on no sleep.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah. My son was nearly three months old, and he hadn't even washed a bottle yet. He would wash them, but he would lay them in the bathroom beside him and put his...
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
headphones on and just kind of listen for him to cry oh god so did he do this before the baby was born or while you were pregnant he he played games um he's played games the whole time I've known him but it wasn't to this extent okay so it just kind of got worse so tell me what happened the night it escalated so earlier that night um he wanted to have sex and uh
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
And so we kind of got arguing about that. And then he went to play his game.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
It was like... He was... I was, we were actually laying down to watch a movie and I was falling asleep and he was like trying to wake me up to have sex. And I told, I got aggravated. I told him like, I'm trying to fall asleep. Like I've been working, like I want to get some rest. And he's like, you know, well, you told me like I could wake you up sometime and be spontaneous.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
And I was like, yeah, like after I've had a rest, not like when I'm falling asleep. And it just kind of turned into like, I don't know. He started making me feel like I don't care about him. And, And it was like, like I was going back on my word or something. And it was like a big misunderstanding that way.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah, so right after the argument, I went outside to just breathe because our arguments have escalated and I'm just kind of, I just kind of exit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
So there'll be a lot of yelling, a lot of cursing. It's not always physical like it has been before, but not to this extent.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Like there was an argument where he had taken our son, um, right before I was about to shower with him and was like trying to get me to talk to him. Like he was using my kid. He knew I was about to get in the, like bathe my son. And, um, I'm trying to grab my kid and he's like pushing me, like push me back. And like, we're just arguing over it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah, he had... carried the child into his bedroom, or carried our child into the bedroom, and he's like, well, I'm going to change the stopper, and I'm like, I'm taking the stopper off to shower, and then it's like, And he had later admitted that he was using our son's like.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
We had an argument Friday and it escalated and there was some physical abuse, I guess you would say. He had pushed me back onto the couch and he had put his hands around my neck.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah, and it gets really confusing because there's some times where... Like right before the aggravated assault charge, like I would come to him with something and he would be really calm. And I'm like, so now I'm just confused.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
So, um, well, after I went outside and come back in, um, He kind of, like, disappeared. I didn't know where he went. And then I seen, like, he had turned the game on because I can... Our apartment is, like, pretty small, so I can see into the living room from our bedroom.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
And so I noticed he's on the game, and I don't know what I probably shouldn't have done, and I went in there, and I took his headset off, and I'm, like, telling him, like, like, if I can't go to bed, like, you can't play the game. And then he...
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
like I got those words out and that was like, he had pushed me back onto the couch and he had put his hands around my neck and it didn't feel like it was in the way to like keep me from breathing, but almost like to scare me. Cause I also feel like he's not stupid. Like he's not going to leave marks and anything like that. So it was that, but that's what I had done. And like,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I just, I think, like, as far as, like, lawyers, like, everybody's telling me to leave, but then, like, I have, like, my dad, like, my only close, like, person in my life, and he's Christian, and it's, you know, like, oh, you can't get divorced, like.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah, I mean, he just... Nonsense. I don't know. I had this picture.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
I don't know. I know people make mistakes. I don't know if I'm being naive. I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
Yeah, and the last time I spoke with my husband, he said, you know, like, oh, I didn't grow up with, you know, like I'm trying to be a good dad. I didn't grow up with a good role model.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Husband Was Arrested for Assaulting Me
So it's kind of, a difficult thing to talk about. Um, so excuse me if I get emotional.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Yeah. I think what I'm struggling with is I feel like I'm always feeling guilty, like whichever direction I go. And if I throw work in there too, it's really like trying to sort out, okay, if I go really hard in my career in one season, then I look up and I haven't talked to my friends in months. or I feel pretty disconnected in my marriage.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
And then if I switch gears to really focusing on my marriage, then it feels like my ability to be as proactive and creative in my work life or my friendships, that tends to suffer. And so I feel like I'm always spinning, trying to, I don't know, organize my calendar and my weeks in such a way that everything is getting the right amount of time. That doesn't even include time for me and myself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
And I think what I tend to bump into is feeling... Like I'm not showing up to anything as much as I should be because my energy is split. Or if I'm really focused on something, I tend to feel a lot of guilt or sadness or like I'm failing and giving attention to the other things that also matter.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
And so I don't know if that's adding any clarity to it, but those are some of the feelings that come up as I'm trying to hold all these different parts of my life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Uh, a long time, probably. I mean, at least since I was a girl. So a long time. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Um, yeah, I guess I grew up in a home that felt pretty chaotic, a lot of love and a lot of chaos. Um, and I think, I think being excellent and doing well at things is kind of how I stood out and, um, carved out a place for myself, um, not only in my family, but also in school.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
It was like, if I, I distinctly remember being younger and experiencing some bullying and thinking, well, I'll show you, like, I'll be the best. And then I won't, it won't matter, you know, that you're making fun of me about this or whatever. So, um, I'd say it's been, it's been a part of my life for a while.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
I came off of pretty much many, many months of traveling a lot for work and had what I think was an anxiety attack coming off of all of that. And Kind of looked up and realized like, oh, I'm pretty isolated and disconnected. Not as much from my husband because I see him every day, but also still from him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Yeah. Yeah. And so it's like, I woke up, I was like, oh, I feel really disconnected. So that was around the time when I called. And since I did call, like I've been trying to be more intentional, like, okay, let me actually go see my friends and tell them that I'm not okay. Cause I haven't even opened up that part of my life for them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Cause I had just been like coming home, going to the airport, coming home, going to the airport. And so that I was holding all of that. And that's why I called.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Oh, gosh. That's a great question. My husband and I haven't been on the same page about it for a few years. I think we're getting to be on the same page about it. What does that mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Oh, no. No, thankfully. I tried that and that was not successful. So, no. It's been a lot of addressing the root issues in our relationship that created that disconnect in general. So it's been a, we've been working on that really hard and I do feel much better. Um, but that's where we're at in that journey. What's the plan? Um, what's the plan? Oh, that's really specific.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
I, we don't have a specific plan in place.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Okay, if I go really hard in my career in one season, then I look up and I haven't talked to my friends in months, or I feel pretty disconnected in my marriage. And then if I switch gears to really focusing on my marriage, then it feels like my ability to be as proactive and creative in my work life or my friendships, that tends to suffer.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Yeah. It's been really hard. Tell me about it. Yeah, we... Golly, it's like where to start. It can be like a saga, but I'd say we've been married eight years. Mm-hmm. The probably first one was a lot of fun, probably two through... It'll be eight years in April, I should say. I would say year two through maybe a year ago, things were really, really tough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Just lots of really bad communication, poor conflict resolution, really... At least for myself, I had a really hard time asking for what I needed and asking for what he needed. So it's just... Sometimes you look at each other and we're like, oh... If we'd had the skills we have now, six years ago, we'd probably have a different relationship.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
Yeah, you're not crazy. Yeah, so, I mean, it's like, it hasn't been like one thing. It's been like a lot of things and poor tools to navigate all of those things. And so... um, earlier this year we had like a test separation of sorts. And then we came back together without a real plan. Then we're like, Oh, we need a plan. And so we've been building an actual plan. I've learned a lot from you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
And I mean, I have watched my videos together and things. And, um, I don't feel like we're, things feel so much better than they used to that. I can't in good faith say like, Oh, things are still really bad. Cause they're not like, I feel like we've talked about everything. We have our weekly, uh, Marriage meetings, like we're doing things we know we're supposed to do to like get on the same page.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
And based on those meetings, we are both feeling more connected and being more intentional. So things seem to me to be on a healing trajectory. Very cool. But there's still pain, of course, when I look back on a lot of the disconnection we've experienced.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Can I Be Married and Still Have Friends?
So here's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to figure out how to balance building a good marriage while also building meaningful friendships and relationships outside of my marriage. I really struggle to strike a balance, if that's even possible. And so I'm wondering if we can dig into that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Yes. Hi. Thank you. I'm calling because I'm wanting help or suggestions for what I can do to help my husband who has experienced severe trauma and he's refusing any kind of help or medication.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
So he grew up in a country that's at the time was under the control of a radical terrorist organization. And because of that, he has PTSD. He definitely has some OCD traits from the PTSD and he's dealing with depression. And logically, medication or therapy would help, but because of his survivor's guilt and also because
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Where he grew up, they had, like, a morality police that required that you report on anyone for anything. And kind of because of that, no one was ever comfortable telling any information about themselves to anyone. So it forced everyone to become, like, islands, to be completely isolated. And he...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
it's just like this block, you know, logically he knows if he goes and talks to a doctor, he's not, he's not going to be sent to jail, but.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. And he himself... Oh, I'm so sorry.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Go ahead. He himself had survived multiple kidnapping attempts because where he lived, they particularly wanted young boys. And... he survived multiple kidnapping attempts himself. And so he does have the severe trauma.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
And one of the things that I have found to be helpful, one of the only things actually that I found to be helpful is some advice that you've given on how to help a partner who has survived severe sexual trauma. And, you know, it's hard because there's a certain reality, a certain framework that I need to work in. I know no matter what, he will not go and get help.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I can, I can shout it all day, but it's not going to happen. And it's hard because it's not coming from a place of he's just being difficult. No, it's survival from panic.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Oh, I do. I go to therapy. I go get medications. I, I really try to work on myself because I have my own traumas and issues. And I think that's, one of the reasons why we work well together is because I understand, I have a slight, slight insight into some of these things. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. And I think for him, it's almost the opposite. And this sounds horrible to say, but I think in some ways it would be easier if he did scream or touch the wall or do something because... He holds it all. It's like the exact opposite because where he was, if you showed any emotion, it could lead to problems.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Well, he has a very hard time. He's 33. And he has a very hard time relating to people his age here in the U.S. And, you know, that's not that he's not friendly, but it's just that he doesn't, he can't relate. There's no point of commonality. So all of his friends, actually, it's kind of funny. All of his friends are like the older veterans who work at Walmart.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
You know, he goes every morning and he talks to all the older war veterans because they've seen a lot of the same things. But kind of what really facilitated this call was, You know, he's very good friends with, like, all the old ladies in the neighborhood. It's adorable. And he's very good friends. I'm really sorry. He's very good friends with the woman across the street.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
And he so very rarely makes a human connection, like, outside of me. I think it's really important that he has friends outside of me. There you go. You know, has a support structure. He's very good friends with our neighbor across the street, and she took her life. Wow. And his reaction absolutely broke my heart because he walked in and, you know, he was like, Beth, you know, killed herself.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
I wish she didn't do that. I wish she had called me. And it was just totally a flat affect, completely flat. And I just... I love him so much. And my heart breaks because he has this well of sadness that I cannot touch. And I just, I want him to have this joy. And he just has, he has this mindset. And I understand why this mindset of just like nihilistic mindset.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. And right now, unfortunately, his parents are in a place that is better than it was. But, you know, we're worried, you know, about them getting bombed. Of course. Of course. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
But I do kind of think, and I don't even know if this is silly, but part of me thinks if I could force him to join a bowling league or something, something where we were forced to interact with a group of people who maybe are in a slightly older age demographic, like you're saying, to form some kind of community.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Without him, if he said no?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. That makes a lot of sense. I never thought of that because you're right. A big thing for him is He doesn't want to be micromanaged anymore because he lived under a regime where they told you you couldn't wear shorts.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. Because I think what's hard is he just doesn't know what to do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in an Interracial Relationship and My Family Doesn’t Know
Right. Definitely my goal is I want to support him the best that I can. If that means he hangs out with a bunch of 70-year-olds, that's great.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I did. All right, this is from Beth. And the pictures that John is looking at, we're also going to put on the screen. So Beth writes, I'm an elementary school teacher, and I heard you talking about how you don't make New Year's resolutions, but instead you ask yourself, how do I want to show up for myself in 2025? Who do I want to be? I took that idea and brought it to my first grade classroom.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
We didn't make resolutions when we came back from winter break. Instead, we brainstormed characteristics that we wanted to have in the new year. I had to break it down to first grade language, but I really liked how it came out. So these are hanging up in my classroom. And we refer to these things when things get hard or when behaviors start to slip. Here are some pictures.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
So for those that aren't seeing it, what it is, each student had a cutout of a person, and they colored it, made it into a little boy or a little girl, whatever they wanted to wear, and then they wrote words.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Yeah, descriptive adjectives that they wanted to be. Do you want to explain what some of those are?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
If nothing else, just watch Inside Out with them. I mean, start there. But she said that she keeps these hanging in the classroom so the kids are seeing them every day.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Yeah. Do you want us to make a little cutout of a John for you? I mean, I have one. It's a voodoo doll, but it's close.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
It was super weird. No, I had pins in it. That wasn't petting. It was sticking in the pants.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Hi, Dr. John. Thanks for having me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
So I'm currently struggling being back at work when my desire is to just be a stay-at-home mom and the best wife that I can be. So I'm just kind of wondering how to navigate this next season of life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
I went back about two months ago.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Uh, I'm basically the one who has the health insurance, dental, all those benefits.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
He is a sales rep for, um, he does rust proofing on vehicles and helps the sales guys, um, sell their product.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Last year he made about $180. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Basically to help provide for the lifestyle we enjoy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
He sees it more when there's more than one kid in the picture. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah. I think he says it, but I don't know that he is on board. He grew up pretty comfortable.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah. Yeah, I think it's getting him on board. And that's the part of me that, I don't ever want to resent him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah. And he's the best husband and dad.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
I do believe he's an amazing husband and father. I do think he has, and this is something we've always talked about, he has selfish tendencies for sure as far as nice things. And he's in a job where he's the only sales guy at the company. And if he were to lose an account,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Like his income isn't always like he can't be promised that this next year he'll make the same amount of money if he were to lose an account.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Kind of what it feels like. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
But isn't that selfish of me?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
No. I just feel like anyone I talk to about it, especially his family, they're They just kind of tell me that's not practical and they don't know how we'd make ends meet.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah, and I've been trying everything on my end to go to part-time. It's just not really working out. My company isn't allowing that right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah. I think we both come from a divorce household and both my family and his family have said they know that financial struggles can really affect a marriage. And so I think that's the selfish part of me that I know he does. Like to me, $180,000 is a lot of money. I know there's sacrifices we would have to make as far as, you know, Maybe we can't go on a trip as often as we'd like.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Like, I don't think he'd ever leave me or anything like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
And I've told him I'm scared of resenting him and that's his... He gets very sad when I say that as well and he doesn't want that either. Okay. So I just feel like we're in this revolving door of... Yep, somebody's got to break the loop. Yeah. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah. How can I approach him without feeling selfish for leaving work? Or like when he says, life is expensive.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Yeah, he did do that. He did sit down and go through everything and all said and done with everything. And he included if, you know, we were to pay for insurance and all of that. And it was like we had about $900 left over.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
I think for the season, it would be worth being home with my kids.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
And I'm just afraid we don't have the same values in that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
So some quick context. I have a daughter who is nine, and then I have a son who's 11. And my husband loves our kids in the best way that he knows how, but he lacks the tools to know how to really connect with them kind of on a deep level. And since fathers are the examples for their daughters of how a woman should be treated...
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I want to address an issue now so that she won't settle in the future for less than she deserves. So my question is, how can I help my husband and my daughter build a better, more trusting, stronger relationship?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I was just going to say there's definitely like an urgency in my heart to address this now because she's halfway to adulthood. So I'm sensing that urgency now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I guess there is just not a lot of connection or intentional interaction with them. And I say them, this question is about my daughter, but it kind of applies to both of them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Yep, that or he goes to the garage and, you know, does his thing in the garage for a while. It's just, yeah, it's like there's no, there's not really any intentional interaction. And then, like, you know, he, if he comes home from work and they're not in the room that he's in, you know, he doesn't, like, go seek them out. He doesn't go find them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I mean, it may be two or three hours that they're home. or that he's home, I'm sorry, before he has any interaction with them. Like there's just not a ton of intentionality there. Now when they do interact, you know, it's for the most part, it's good. It's, it's normal, but you can just, it's pleasant. Most of the time it's pleasant. Yeah. Not always, but sometimes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I don't. I mean, I don't think so. Maybe. I don't. Maybe. No, I mean, okay, so... this is my perspective and I realized that there's two sides to this story, but he has a lot, I can tell. And I know for a fact, he has a lot of internal struggles with his own like self-worth and, you know, depression. He, he hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but it's pretty obvious.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Um, he's very like moody and irritable most of the time, or at least, you know, at least half the time. And so I guess I've, I've, assumed that the disappearing is like his way of coping. You know what I mean? Like he doesn't have to interact. He doesn't have to interact. Then he can't be asked questions or can't be burdened with anything. That's sort of how I have interpreted what's happening.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I don't know how to properly answer that. Just vomit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Oh, boy. I would say there's definitely a lack of emotional security. I just... Yeah, I kind of, he seems like a ticking time bomb. Not that an explosion would be anything like, you know, he's not abusive or anything like that, but his moods are very unsettling to me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. His is not, he doesn't scream, but he is very, um, like very harsh, very critical in his tone. And it's, he, he treats, I gotta back that up a little bit. The way, the way that he speaks to me and the way that I see him speak to our kids makes me feel very much like a burden or an inconvenience. Um, he's just very quick to be irritable, very quick to be, um,
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Not judgmental, but just, I don't know, just very like irritated. Very, yeah, but dismissive in a way that's like, oh, you know, like I, he was, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
I know. And I have worried that that's been part of my thing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Yeah. Yeah. I think I would agree.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
He did, yeah. Yeah, pretty bad.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Right. Right. And I can, that's what I'm sensing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Right. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree with that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
Yeah. Okay. So I guess then my question would be, so I have in the past, and it's been a long time because he was so dismissive of it, but I have in the past said, based off of your childhood, you have a lot of things you need to tackle, you need to address. And And he does not think that he has a problem. He does not see the issue.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tell My Wife to Get off Her Phone?
So do you have any thoughts or suggestions then on how I can bring it up to him again in a way that maybe he'll understand?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
Hey, John, I'm so excited to talk to you, and I'm nervous at the same time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
Okay, sounds good. All right. So my question for you is, how do I determine if it's the right time for me to start looking for a new job? Do you want to get a new job? Yes, I do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
Okay, well, so a couple of things. So I've been at my job for five years. I like what I do. I'm 56 years old, but I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with my boss and the direction that he's taking the company.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
At the same time, I've been in therapy the last two and a half years, healing lifelong anxiety and just trying to determine, you know, am I ready for, am I ready to, you know, do something new and maybe the stress that's involved with that. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
As far as why I'm wanting to look for another job, I guess what's frustrating me, I'm the head of the finance department, and I'm just getting frustrated with the lack of leadership that my boss has, and I'm seeing things that make me concerned for The how long the company is going to be in existence. And, you know, five years from now, I'm going to be 60 years old.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
And do I want to be looking for another job at that time?
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
That's a great question. I thought I had it all figured out, but you just hit something. Probably all the reasons I'm in therapy.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
Yeah, you're right. I'm looking for external reasons to make the decisions.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
I'm looking for you to tell me that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
I think there's just that voice in my head that just says, you're not smart enough. You're not good enough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
I like the work that I do. What is it? I like accounting. Okay. Yeah, I enjoy leading people. I enjoy leading a team, being part of a team.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m in Love With Her (She Doesn’t Feel the Same)
I do. I do. I've been told I'm weird because I'm happy and not nerdy.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Sarah. Hi, how are you doing today?
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Okay, so my question is, I went straight to culinary school from high school back in 2003. Thank you. My mom took out a loan for me because I was 17. Okay. The original loan was $30,000. We agreed to split it 50-50. Soon as I graduated, I was giving her... Money every month. I was staying with her because I didn't have the money, but I was giving her money every month.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
I eventually realized that she was not paying on the student loan at all. When I found out, she apologized and she said that she would start paying. I continued to give her money every month. As you can imagine, I wasn't making very much money at that time. And I then again discovered she was not applying any of that money towards the student loan.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Yeah. So I'm not sure exactly because I wasn't counting, but I do know that I gave her, when we talked, I gave her at least $5,000.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
I was giving her cash. I was giving her $200 every month towards that.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Every month towards that. Well, I was making minimum wage. I was working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Is your name on the loan or your mom's name? Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Only my mom. It's a parent plus loan. So the reason why I know now all this information is because recently she came to me and she brought up this loan because after a while I just stopped giving her money. How long has it been? So, 2003. Oh, girl. Wow. Okay. So, recently, she brought up this loan, and she asked me for a lump sum of money. She asked me for about $20,000.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
I'm like, I don't have that kind of money. I can't give you that. And we didn't agree. I've been giving you money, blah, blah. Long story short, I looked into the loan. She owes over $70,000 on it.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
It's $70,000 and some change. And now she's making me feel like... No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
OK, so directly to the if I if I give it directly to the place, will they now want my information?
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Hi, Jade and John. My question is, does it make sense to accept a gift of $1 million from my in-laws to purchase a house? And I can dive into some more context.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
My husband and I are in our late 20s. Our income is $194,000 per year. We have no debt. And we would like to start a family in a couple of years. I would anticipate our income dropping down to $120,000 if I reduced my hours to take care of a baby. If the gift didn't exist, we would just keep renting and saving for five more years while my husband finishes a PhD.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
And then we would move somewhere more affordable because we really don't ever anticipate being able to buy a house in Santa Cruz, California. However, yeah, my in-laws offered to give us this $1 million as a gift specifically to buy a house here in Santa Cruz. And that money is coming from my husband's deceased grandmother's trust.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
I guess I'm just concerned that a $1 million house in our financial context is just a little out of proportion. And it really would be nearly 100% of our net worth. Even though it's just a normal house, like a three bedroom, nothing too crazy. It's just that it's Santa Cruz.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
It is theirs, and it would be a gift.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
To be honest, I'm not sure the full amount, but I think it's less than a fifth.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
I am intimidated. Just imagining our net worth increase. like ballooning and exploding like that overnight filled me with some anxiety. Um, I would just want to take care of that money very well. And can I ask, can I ask you where that anxiety comes from?
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Maybe. Maybe a little bit of the feeling is ill-gotten gain somehow.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
He I think he's also a little bit anxious about being able to maintain and take care of a one million dollar house on on our income.
The Ramsey Show
The Hardest Decisions Are Often About Money & Relationships
Okay. I'm feeling better about it already.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
$2,100 purchase of headphones. What do you mean you got into it? I, uh, it did not take very much convincing to be truthfully honest. Um, I love, I love music and stuff like that. So it didn't take much convincing for me to buy them. Um, I was leading emotionally rather than thinking rationally. And that's when I kind of realized I've got a problem and I just, I cannot, um,
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
I just can't get out of it. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
I believe desire would probably be the best thing I can come up with. Just the sheer desire of wanting to get, you know, anything that I've always wanted, stuff that I didn't get when I was growing up.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
Childhood came from a family of divorced parents. Thrust it very quickly into a different setting with my stepfather. Money was always tight growing up. Just not having enough money. Didn't have much, did you? No, no, no. Very strict upbringing. Nothing wrong with that, of course.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
It wasn't until I went to Austin for culinary arts for college that I realized that I was free and I can make any and all decisions. And I've kind of been carrying that philosophy for the better part of the last 10 years.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
How are you doing, guys? Thank you for taking my call. Man, I'm not even quite sure where to begin, but I seem to have a ginormous problem handling my finances. I am 27 years old with a wife and two kids and I have one on the way in July and I'm just kind of like up to my throat in stress on trying to figure out what I got to do to stay the course in trying to be debt free.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
Uh, me personally, I have about $24,000 in total debt, uh, about 2,500 in credit cards, 7,000 is in purchase finances, uh, four to 5,000 in student loan. And then the rest is personal loans.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
They went through a firm. A firm? Yes. Oh, that's like buy now, pay later. It's one of those buy now, pay later. Yes, correct. Like Karna and stuff like that. Can you sell those? Probably more than likely so. That ain't my world.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
OK, I got you. I do believe I'd go back. I do believe I have a 30 day warranty of some sort where I can exchange them or return them for a refund. But I'd have to double check on that just to make sure that is accurate.
The Ramsey Show
The Key to Transformation Is Admitting You Have a Problem
I've been a part of the show for about six months now. I even bought Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover. And everything was going well. I had Baby Steps 1 working into 2. I had everything listed from smallest to largest, paying the smallest stuff off. And then right around the holidays, I kind of just fell off a cliff, started buying things I didn't need. And just recently, I got into a...
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
They do all their yard work, etc. So I've been asked to be the executor of their will. I know the will is going to be divided equally between my sisters and I, so poor girls, so divided equally into four. And And this is the part, it really bugs me. I'm wondering, like, I feel like in some ways my sister has already gotten her share of the will. And it's not even about the money.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
Like, I just, I'm concerned that my parents are being taken advantage of. But my parents are happy to do all these things for them. And it's kind of like they had this agreement a long time ago that they would take care of their kids. And I don't know. I feel like, am I wrong to feel in some way that...
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
resentful towards my sister that maybe she is being taken advantage of by my um that they're taking advantage of my parents uh no not necessarily where where are you like and from a from a physical location are you close to them i'm about 40 yeah 40 minutes away from them like and um yeah so why did they originally rent from her and not another sibling You know what?
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
And the thing is, they're fine. My parents make over $100,000 a year. They could have bought a house even by now, right? I don't know why they decided to rent from them. I'm not sure. I wasn't part of that conversation and that kind of deal they made with watching their kids.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
Yeah, they seem fine with it, exactly. The only person upset here is you. I know, I'm the baby, aren't I? No, you're not.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
So I'm the second oldest, and she's the third oldest. So she's right after me in the order. And I know, like, I've spoken to even my older sister and then the baby of the family, and they seem like, oh, okay, they have a pretty good gig happening, right? And I know I have to keep checking my heart. And the thing is, like, both my husband and I have great jobs.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
We've made great headway in terms of paying off our debt. And I know we'll be okay. And even my husband always says... You know, he's like, we're fine. Like, we wouldn't even want my parents to live with us. It's not even that.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
Oh, that's a good question. Like I, I've always been like more the older sister, like I think with even my older sister with all of them. So that was that part, that part's been. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
Yeah, maybe. Yeah. And I have like, I have, I have four kids and my sisters have two and it's like, but I'm, I'm like, that's what I wanted for me. I love to be independent. busy and we've done fine. I don't know.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
How can we help? Okay, I'm really nervous. I'm going to pretend like you guys are just my buddies and I'm talking to you.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
We love Canada, so you're great. You're in good hands. Okay, good. All right. So I need to know if I'm being a baby and if I have... wrongful resentment. I am a Christian, so I want to make sure that I have nothing between God and I, and I'm just going to give you guys a quick snapshot. So I'm wondering, am I wrong to feel resentment? I come from a family of four girls.
The Ramsey Show
Big Dreams Require Big Sacrifices
My husband and I are about to enter baby step number three in about two weeks, Lord willing. So we're really excited about that. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah. So my parents have been renting for my sister and her husband for about nine years. They pay well above market rent for our area. And they take care of their kids before and after school. They fix things around their house.
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
Oh my gosh, hi. I'm so nervous. Okay, so... I've been with my boyfriend of four. I've been with a man for four years now. He's 17 years older than I am. And it's been quite emotionally abusive and I'm trying to leave, but I have $23,000 in debt. I only really count $6,000 of that because 17 of it is car, which I'm, I feel like y'all are going to tell me to get rid of it, but I don't want to. Um,
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
I'm just trying to figure out how to navigate like paying off this $6,000 because it's affecting me from getting a place of my own right now. And I have a bonus from work coming up and I'm just like, I don't know how to navigate. How old are you? I'm 27.
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
I work for a very, very large health insurance company as a customer advocate.
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
Well, I technically make like $19.75 before taxes.
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
Yeah, yeah. I live like two hours from Dallas, so it's like pretty good for here.
The Ramsey Show
If You're Intentional With Money, You Can Win With Money
My dad lives in a motel about an hour away, and my mom lives in Missouri, and she lives off the government, so she's not very...
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Isn’t Always About Money
Not much. I was just hoping to get your guys' advice. We are pretty good, but we're not as good as we could be. I feel like we're still struggling month to month, kind of like paycheck to paycheck. And how do we get ahead? How do we start, like, invest saving? Like, we have three kids. I homeschool. We're a one-income household. And the economy is kind of killing us.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Isn’t Always About Money
My two youngest are not school age. So if I went back to work, we'd have to pay for daycare.
The Ramsey Show
Money Stress Isn’t Always About Money
No, we have credit cards. We don't use them. They are zero balance. We own our cars and all our vehicles.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
So I just had a quick question. So we were trying, thinking about doing the debt snowball. I don't really watch the show, but I've seen some shorts on Instagram. And so my wife got her bachelor's and is not able to find a job. And we, I'm considering to just, instead of doing the debt snowball, saving some money up for her to get her master's.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Because I feel like that would be a bigger return to investment than trying to pay it all off now.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Well, she's just been trying to – she was trying to use her degree just to kind of be – I don't know, just in, like, mental health counselor facilities with just a bachelor's, and she wasn't able to really find a solid job.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
So we have around, she has around $20,000. Well, I guess we have $20,000 for her bachelor's, and I have $70,000 for my doctorate degree.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Yeah, but we're also closing on a house at the end of this month as well. I don't know if that's considered a loan or a mortgage, I guess. Yeah, that's a big one.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
See, that was a problem, and I put zero down on the house. Oh, God, Eli.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Yeah, I got it. I was approved for an FHA loan that kind of will cover the down payment and stuff like that.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
And that's what's on the mortgage, yes. And also, every year, I'm going to get a $10,000 salary increase. Okay. Up to $130,000. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'm 100% sure.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Well, the thing is, I took a pay cut to get this job. So the average salary is $130,000.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Well, the way it worked is to get into the nuclear, it's kind of competitive. And he was able to get me in and pay for the schooling, and he promised me to – well, it's an agreement to increase $10,000 every year until I get up to $130,000. But I can just leave and go to a different pharmacy and make that money now.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. Well, here's the thing. So when I say pay for schooling, I'm not paying for her to go to school, but it wouldn't be – I'm also paying my debt as well.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
No, I could do that now. Like right now, I could leave and get a better job. But the career – nuclear pharmacy is very limited in locations, and the career I chose – I made a deal with him, like where I was going to work for him, for Lord Pekka. And I can still afford paying her schooling and pay our debts and everything. That's not the problem. I'm just wondering if I should snowball that now.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
$30,000, and I have calculated it out. Yeah, total, because it'd be UNA, University of North Alabama.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Well, I'm going to get the money, and I'm going to be paying it off. Yeah, basically.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
Yeah, yeah. Don't you think that's bad math? Well, let's see. Okay, the reason I did it when I didn't have a – I was rotating for pharmacy, and I really, really wanted – And everyone was telling me, you're not going to get into nuclear. It's impossible. It has a low turnover rate. So when he offered me the job, $90,000, I mean, I already got the nuclear licensing. So I could theoretically leave.
The Ramsey Show
It’s Time to Grow Up and Own Your Life
But I kind of feel indebted to him. He's a really good... He's like the... It's a small business. And he's been teaching me a lot and all that. And... That's kind of the reason why I'm staying there with the $90,000. And we're saving enough where I can debt snowball a little bit. I can put in like $500 extra.