Ella Al-Shamahi

And I was just like, do you understand the trauma that I've just been through?

I didn't want this.

This isn't what I wanted.

Certainly, like now, 10, 13 years later, I can look back and go, I'm glad that, you know, I'm not constrained by dogma unless I pick that dogma.

But, you know, let's not pretend that this is a fun world.

I mean, I'd definitely rather be here, but let's not pretend it's perfect.

Like, I think the community thing is such a,

I think this is what I have found really, really, really difficult to explain to so many of my secular friends who are basically my tribe.

Now, let's be honest, right?

I will never, ever, ever be in a community like that again.

I think religious communities are warm.

They engulf you.

They embrace you.

Your hot water goes off.

Everybody offers you their place.

Somebody ends up in hospital and people get angry with the hospital administration because they're like, what are you talking about?

Only two people during visiting hours.

And what's this visiting hours?

This person needs us all around the clock.

And it's just crazy.