Elle

Yes.

All right, go on.

And then so I and then I had a really toxic, abusive relationship, which in high school, and once I was able to break free from that relationship with him, I like it was like the whole world was open.

And I was, you know, freshly 18.

And I just knew that it was

time to kind of like search and find myself and so i ended up into a relationship with a man we'll call him b and he was very like it was one of those passionate early relationships where we really enjoyed each other but i also knew i want to explore women and i want to be free to you know play around around and

but also be in this relationship.

So we like, we kind of started in the terms of like, he only wanted, he wanted the one dick policy, which.

Yes.

And it was something where I was like, I was placating him.

I said, okay.

Let's do this.

I just really want to try something out.

So he would go out and he would like connect with other women and then kind of like bring them home basically.

Yeah.

First, our first threesome was with my like high school friend that had a crush on him and

Like he brought her in and it was, I like to think of my story as very much a gone wrong story.

Go on.

And it was something where I was very much like, I was, I liked the idea, but I actually wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle it.

sharing him in my relationship and so like yes i was in we we had sex with her she had sex with him i ended up kind of like pulling back and watching them have sex as i was having like a panic attack and just sitting there quietly and just like you know doing what you see in porn which is like