Ellie Roscher

I have a little bit of abandonment stuff.

And so if someone pulls away from me, I used to read that as an invitation to chase them.

And to try to win them back and work.

And the harder they pulled away, the harder I did.

And just recognizing the wound that that comes from, naming it, sitting with the little girl, you know, and soothing her and saying it's going to be okay.

That when someone pulls away from me, that's just information.

And just being resourced enough in my body that I can notice the instinct to chase and choose not to.

And the opportunity then in that moment is to know how to nourish myself.

Yes.

Right.

So I'm really working on that moment of like.

I want you to like me.

And that's not even what's going on.

Sure.

Right.

But like just notice my instinct and then pause and then turn that all back in on myself.

and have some tools for self-care, for self-love, all the parts of me, so that I'm moving from this resourced place of love.

I'm not outsourcing it and trying to get it from other people.

No, that's exactly it.

It's like if I'm seeking that from someone, it's an invitation to flip it and be like, maybe you're not.