Em Gessen

But it's one thing to know and another thing to understand.

Alan, murder me?

What the hell was Alan thinking?

From Serial Productions and The New York Times, I'm Em Gessen, and this is The Idiot, out March 26th, wherever you get your podcasts.

In the early morning hours of July 28, 2022, when the FBI showed up at my father's house in Cape Cod, they knocked on another door, too.

Priscilla's.

This is Priscilla.

Alan, my cousin, Priscilla's ex.

By the time we were taping this interview, it had been almost a year since Alan was arrested.

We were in Priscilla's apartment, not the one where she was the morning she was supposed to be killed.

This one was a safe house, an address that someone who was looking for Priscilla using public records or Google or leaked databases wouldn't be able to find.

The apartment was on a quiet street where the houses sit very close together and the sidewalks have hazardous potholes.

The place was a little dark, a little cramped.

Sometimes you can tell when a person is used to living in a different kind of space.

The furniture was a bit too large.

Priscilla herself looked out of place.

She's very tall and, well, she's stunning.

Whenever I've heard people try to describe her, the word regal comes up.

When she walks down the street, people literally turn around to look.

She demanded more room and more light and an audience larger than me and my recording equipment on the couch.