Emilie Kiser

What could I change?

I just think that's kind of the process.

You just have to go through that.

Just replaying it, to be honest, just over and over again, thinking about all the things that we could have done differently, thinking about the things that we will do differently.

and I don't really know if I have an answer for how you accept it.

I think everybody does it in their own time, but I don't think I'll ever really accept that he's gone.

I don't think I'll ever really accept what took his life because it is just so terrible, and the pain that he went through is so terrible, but I'm just doing my best, and

Like I said, I don't think I'll ever fully accept it, but I acknowledge it.

And I know that I can just only do better from here.

When we...

First lost Trig pretty much immediately within about two weeks of us getting home.

It was very quickly.

My family found out through other people who had suffered through child loss, which I'm so grateful for the amount of resources that we had.

Even though they weren't directly reaching out to me because I was not on my phone, I was not on social media.

I didn't even have a phone just for our mental health of like, you do not need to look at anything.

You need to just focus on yourself and your family.

We immediately after about two weeks went to the care farm that I was kind of mentioning and they use animal therapy products.

Just basically interacting with animals.

You speak with health professionals while you're there, licensed therapists, licensed doctors.

They're not there to heal you.