Emily Atack

And that, I think, even though that's got me in trouble with my love life, I think it's enabled me to keep friends and have good friendships.

Yes, completely.

I think I was keeping so much from my parents when I was young.

Again, it's going a little bit dark, but I was sexually assaulted first of all when I was 10.

That was when I was first ever sexually assaulted.

And that I remember being 10 years old.

And from that moment, I was treated badly, appallingly by older men from that age, like throughout my life.

And I think the loneliness came a lot from that.

And lots of things happened that my parents to this day still don't know the detail of, of, you know, of how men have treated me and touched me and everything.

said things whispered things to me in my ear when you know people aren't in earshot and I think a lot of the loneliness stemmed from that and from that I then developed a really unhealthy relationship with sex and with boys because I kind of lent into that behavior a little bit and I also found that

I felt, I knew I was wanted and desired by men from a really young age, sexually desired.

And that to me as a child, it's really confusing because I think I needed, I wanted to feel that.

I didn't want to do the sex stuff, but I liked that feeling of feeling...

wanted and validated and being called pretty.

And, you know, I had crushes on older men who would then take advantage of that, but then sort of made me feel that that was a good thing.

Like there were so many situations from sort of like, I remember particularly 11, 12, 13, when I really started to kind of wear makeup and look a lot older and

And I was hanging around with lots of older people.

I was sneaking out all the time.

My parents couldn't control me.

I was just out the door.