Emily Falk

And so even that sort of subtle, like, it feels really bad for me when you're on your phone when we're hanging out, that was noticeable.

And so over the next couple of days, I started thinking about

you know, who do I actually want to be in this situation?

And I started thinking about the people in our lives where you go over to their house and you don't even know if they have a cell phone, right?

Like they are definitely not checking their email or their texts and how different that feels from, you know, the person who every time you bring something up, they're like, let me just fact check that.

And they like go on their phone, beep, boop, beep.

And, like, you know, give you whatever stats or show you a YouTube video or something like that rarely adds to the conversation, right?

And so thinking about those people in my life who are so present in those interactions felt really motivating for me.

And I thought, like, that's actually how I want to be when I'm with Brett.

And so I tried to make some environmental shifts, like leaving my phone in the other room when we're hanging out.

And that works for the most part.

I'll say I'm not perfect.

I felt a little caught out the other night.

It was that hour after the kids went to bed and I was texting with a friend and she had just finished reading my book where I tell this story.

And she was like, aren't you supposed to be hanging out with Brett right now?

Why are you texting with me?

And I was like, oh, my gosh.

So then I was like double defensive.

Like, I know that I'm supposed to be hanging out with Brett.

Brett's probably like a little bit annoyed about the situation.