Emily Falk

And there was a student who needed something from me in order to be able to move ahead with a project.

And I was trying to get back to them quickly because that's something that I like to do.

I don't want to be the bottleneck.

And as I was on my phone doing this task, Brett said to me that it was really frustrating for him when he felt like, you know, this is time when we're supposed to be hanging out together and I'm on my phone.

And...

You know, I definitely felt defensive in that moment.

Like, there are all kinds of good reasons why I'm on my phone, right?

One of the things that you love about me is that I'm a good boss and I'm a good collaborator and I'm a good scientist.

And, like, this is just going to take a second and it's not really disrupting the conversation.

And I can still hear what you're saying.

And do you want me to just recite back to you exactly what you just said?

Yeah.

Of course, like that did not interest Brett.

Like there's research that highlights that when other people are on their phones, it's annoying, right?

Like it's super annoying.

And in the moment, I was defensive.

I was not prepared to concede that, of course, he was right.

But as I thought about it over the next couple of days, because Brett is also not really one to complain that much.

It's rare that he says to me, like, I really don't like what you're doing.

I need you to change something.