Emily McDonald

And so anyway, also I was addicted to nicotine, which I don't think I had mentioned to you, but it was a big reason why I also wanted to study drug addiction.

But what I also realized was that the Adderall and the stimulants, they can kind of increase stereotypic behavior.

And that's just like a science term for like compulsive, like repeated behaviors, like stereotype behaviors.

I found that that was leading me to hit the vape a lot.

And so when I found that when I stopped taking the Adderall, I stopped craving nicotine as much.

And so it allowed me to just stop all of it.

But what I did was, yeah, I replaced with supplements.

green tea and over time now I mean I haven't even really had caffeine today so I now I'm at this point where I don't even take supplements for focus but in the beginning I did so I took a lot of different supplements for focus I would do like the lines main rhodiola rosea cordyceps you know ginseng bacopa monnieri like all ginkgo all the different things I was on at all and it helps and it really did and it allowed me to continue to train my brain and I really do think that meditation was

Huge, you know, you can rely on all the external stuff, but I remember the first time I noticed meditation changing me was I started I think the fall of my senior year of undergrad and then that winter, like three months later, I had my first PhD interview.

And I was sitting in that interview and I remember the person asking me a question and I was able to sit and really think about the question that she had asked me and then respond mindfully.

And that might just sound normal to a lot of people.

But to me, it wasn't because the old version of me was super reactive, super like, as soon as you say something, I got to immediately blurt out a response to get it out of my head.

I would be super like interrupt you and all the different things.

And I was like, whoa, I just...

was comfortable in the silence there for a second.

And I was actually able to develop a response and really truly respond rather than react to situations.

And it's that skill that allows you to create the life that you want.

You have to be able to respond because if you're reacting, it's always going to be based on your programming.

It's always going to be based on the old version of you.

You're never reacting as a new version of you because reactions are that kind of immediate impulsive behavior.