Emma Nissen

And I'd always struggled with my weight because we always kind of joke in third grade, I started eating school lunches that I would eat people's mac and cheese.

And then I just got fat.

Right.

And I cursed the school lunches, but I, man, that mac and cheese was just too good.

And, uh, and you were allowed to eat people's food in elementary school.

Like you had to eat your own, but I, every time that aid turned its back, I shoving some mac and cheese in my mouth.

But I, anyway, so I always like struggled with my weight, feeling like I was way bigger than the other people in my grade.

And just like, really like, oh man, their cardigan is an XS and mine isn't a large, like I just, it was, you know, also just like girly things, just growing up and being 13 and whatever.

But, um, and I thought I had a good handle on it, but going then, uh, once that like eating disorder and two on a mission, people feed you all the time.

And I had like weird things that I didn't know if I was allergic to with dairy or whatever.

So I just like would eat and then throw up and eat and throw up.

And it was horrible.

I fixed it.

I was able to overcome that part of just struggling with food and identity.

But once I fixed that and stopped throwing up, then I gained a bunch of weight.

And then I like the body dysmorphia was just so it hit me like a truck.

And I just was like, it was so strange because I really felt like the most important thing you could do was learn how to love yourself.

And I didn't understand why I didn't even think that I deserve to look in the mirror.

And it was stuff like that that it was extreme where I was like, people's lives are worse because they have to look at me.

And it was like, no one thinks that.