Erica Bailey
speaker
177 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Erica Bailey’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Hmm.
And what they found is that self-compassion, people who have higher traits of compassion experience greater trait authenticity, but also experimentally inducing self-compassion or having people engage in reflection exercises with more or less compassion predicted how authentic they were in that moment.
And part of why that happens, which I love from this paper, is it's associated with an increased optimism. So when we feel like we can approach our mistakes with kindness and with acceptance, we also feel like maybe I can do that tomorrow. And maybe if I make a mistake tomorrow, I can have this same mindset of kindness towards myself and the belief in future growth.
And that can help me feel authentic in these moments, even when reflecting on something that in hindsight we wish we would have done differently.
Exactly. It can even help you recognize that those are parts of who you are and think about ways to make progress towards them instead of using those aspects as a way to punish yourself or to feel badly about what you could have done or how you should be.
One example from my own life is I struggle with anxiety. It's something that was absolutely exacerbated with grad school and the pandemic and the many historical experiences that we're all living through.
Part of what has helped me with recognizing I have anxiety is obviously being in therapy, but coming to understand where those anxious thoughts come from has helped me have compassion for that side of myself.
So when I'm ruminating over these experiences or having nightmares about how my first day of class is going to go, I can recognize that that's my body's way of trying to prepare me for those situations, trying to walk through the worst case scenario so that when it happens, you know, I won't be so surprised.
And of course, that's really not effective and I never feel prepared for those experiences. But recognizing the source of that and where it comes from has helped me approach that side of myself with more kindness and acceptance and has even sort of lessened its impact on my daily life.
Exactly. One example is I get anxious when I first wake up in the morning and, you know, I'll feel really anxious when I'm in my kitchen making my coffee. And what I sort of tell my body is like, I know that you feel like there's a tiger in the room, but there's not a tiger in the room.
I'm just making my coffee and, you know, we're going to get through this coffee and then we're going to approach our day with some calm and just kind of take it one step at a time.
Absolutely. And recognizing where that comes from and sort of where its bases are irrational can help me take it less seriously almost. That's part of where the idea that there's a tiger in the room makes me feel better is my body's having a really strong reaction that's sort of divorced from reality. And to the extent I can maybe poke fun at it or lessen its impact, I can almost embrace it and it
feels less serious. It feels less all consuming and it's still a part of myself, but it's one I can approach with more grace.
People often talk about conversations, especially with friends or close others, as a way to feel more authentic or moments where they really felt like themselves. Part of why that happens, I think, is people give you the space to explore those feelings, to talk about them in more detail. And they'll often ask questions or have you look at that problem from a new angle.
With respect to anxiety, you know, when I talk to other people who have anxieties and they tell me the things they're anxious about, it seems like, why would I be anxious about that? And having that reaction to their anxiety makes me realize, oh, my anxiety is also probably a little silly. Like this is probably an irrational fear that I have.
And it almost helps you look at your own anxiety or your own troubles in a different way.
Thank you so much for having me, Shankar.
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