Esther Perel

They have not been necessarily trained to actually speak about their wishes, their needs, their preferences, their likes.

Go to your partner, male, female, them, and say, you know, I like when, I would love if, it would please me a lot if you could do that.

That's a way to not have the other person the next time saying, oh, shit, I don't want to approach you because you've just told me that you really don't like, you know, and now I've lost my entire sense of confidence.

I thought you liked it.

What did I not know?

How did I miss it?

That's a form of lying too.

Sometimes, by the way, that is a betrayal too.

For six years, you haven't said a thing to me.

Because what are they supposed to do?

Or you've been fantasizing about someone else or you've been not liking it and pretending to me.

That sometimes hurts no less than you've been... Because you've been elsewhere.

Yeah.

Whether you've been elsewhere alone or you've been elsewhere, I feel like you have just, you know, I thought I was with you in this and I've just discovered that I was by myself.

When you are cold, I'm not instantly cold.

You've got your own body temperature and I can say, oh, that's interesting.

I can't say, how can you be cold?

I'm not cold.

Why should you be cold?

I'm the thermometer.