Esther Perel

What did I do?

What's wrong?

So I use the temperature and the hunger and the tiredness because people immediately understand it.

When it's physical, they understand where I stop and where you start.

We are two separate people.

We are close.

We are not fused.

We are not that enmeshed that what happens to me happens to you.

But when it comes to the emotional level, for many of us, that is not how we grew up either.

We grew up with somebody who wanted their feelings to become our feelings, their needs to become our needs.

And so we have not known where to know where is the line where I stop and you start.

That's where codependency lives.

I think the first thing you do is what belongs to you and what belongs to them.

Don't personalize.

It's a strange thing.

It's what you said before, you know, somehow it's sometimes it's even worse if it has nothing to do with you.

It's like I would rather be part of a bad story than not be part of the story at all.

Cast me, please.

And it's like, wait, you know, it's like, it's not your story.

And if when and you know, sometimes what it means, because a friend can tell you something, and you don't instantly think it's you.