Esther Perel

I want to go back to the laundromat. I love the place. I really, I think the laundromat or other places like it, the bookstore, the coffee bar, the train station, the train itself. I mean, there's so many places for that friction.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that that's where I'm positioning myself today. I'm placing myself at the door. I want you to come outside. Do you know one of the most, come outside and go to any of these places. The statistic that really stayed with me recently is an article. It's called The Antisocial Century by Derek Thompson. And he's 74% of food that is cooked in a restaurant is not eaten on the premises.

I think that that's where I'm positioning myself today. I'm placing myself at the door. I want you to come outside. Do you know one of the most, come outside and go to any of these places. The statistic that really stayed with me recently is an article. It's called The Antisocial Century by Derek Thompson. And he's 74% of food that is cooked in a restaurant is not eaten on the premises.

And that woke me up. an increase of 30% of people eating alone in the restaurant. Now, eating is one of the oldest worldwide gatherings, traditions of coming together with others. It's friction of every sort. And the fact that we are going to order from the restaurant and then bring it home and eat it many times alone, that's a problem.

And that woke me up. an increase of 30% of people eating alone in the restaurant. Now, eating is one of the oldest worldwide gatherings, traditions of coming together with others. It's friction of every sort. And the fact that we are going to order from the restaurant and then bring it home and eat it many times alone, that's a problem.

So this is all I'm going to do now from now on is the future of relationship, getting people to not feel so lonely, so isolated, so locked up in their houses, so defeated by relationships. Yeah. And so transferring their expectations for algorithmic perfection into their relationships.

So this is all I'm going to do now from now on is the future of relationship, getting people to not feel so lonely, so isolated, so locked up in their houses, so defeated by relationships. Yeah. And so transferring their expectations for algorithmic perfection into their relationships.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

They want people to become perfect and predictable like the technologies. And we are by our very nature unpredictable and imperfect. And that is part of the beauty of being human beings. It's exactly that. If there is no obstacle, there's no story that's of any interest, let alone comedy. And I think that we're saying something that is quite, it's more important than we even let onto.

They want people to become perfect and predictable like the technologies. And we are by our very nature unpredictable and imperfect. And that is part of the beauty of being human beings. It's exactly that. If there is no obstacle, there's no story that's of any interest, let alone comedy. And I think that we're saying something that is quite, it's more important than we even let onto.

This friction piece. You know, because that's the plot. You tell stories and they have a plot and the plot is built by all these unpredictabilities, obstacles. Be it in the sexual plot or be it in the comedy plot or be it in the relationship plot. It's really important. What are we going to do otherwise? What's going to happen to us?

This friction piece. You know, because that's the plot. You tell stories and they have a plot and the plot is built by all these unpredictabilities, obstacles. Be it in the sexual plot or be it in the comedy plot or be it in the relationship plot. It's really important. What are we going to do otherwise? What's going to happen to us?

But friction is connected, I think, to the big issue of the moment, which is uncertainty. Yeah. Because friction is what makes you have to experiment, deal with the unexpected, deal with the unpredictable, deal with the lessons of making all kinds of bad choices. It helps you deal with uncertainty. Dealing with uncertainty is what helps you deal with anxiety.

But friction is connected, I think, to the big issue of the moment, which is uncertainty. Yeah. Because friction is what makes you have to experiment, deal with the unexpected, deal with the unpredictable, deal with the lessons of making all kinds of bad choices. It helps you deal with uncertainty. Dealing with uncertainty is what helps you deal with anxiety.

Because if you become more... adept at dealing with the unknown, the unexpected, the unpredictable, then you develop a sense of confidence. It's what you just described when you get to a show and you had to cancel something or the flight was late. You have a stance that basically says, I know what I can control. I know to handle the unknown and the unpredictable.

Because if you become more... adept at dealing with the unknown, the unexpected, the unpredictable, then you develop a sense of confidence. It's what you just described when you get to a show and you had to cancel something or the flight was late. You have a stance that basically says, I know what I can control. I know to handle the unknown and the unpredictable.

And I know that it will land in my comedy because it will become part of the story. Now I'm annoyed maybe, but you don't get completely frazzled. You absorb it. You have a shock absorber. And that shock absorber is what allows you to not be as anxious about the unknown, about mortality, about the unpredictable, all of that.