Esther Perel

The fear of abandonment and the fear of suffocation.

The fear of abandonment and the fear of suffocation.

I will not leave you but I will lose myself in order not to be alone. Or the reverse is I leave you all the time. I don't stick around anywhere because I'm afraid that if I hang one more day, I'm going to get trapped.

I will not leave you but I will lose myself in order not to be alone. Or the reverse is I leave you all the time. I don't stick around anywhere because I'm afraid that if I hang one more day, I'm going to get trapped.

something is missing in the story yeah that doesn't mean that the other person may not have done things that were hurtful to them but add to it who were you in this relationship absolutely what role did you play what did you see that you didn't want to pay attention to what things do you wish you had done differently

something is missing in the story yeah that doesn't mean that the other person may not have done things that were hurtful to them but add to it who were you in this relationship absolutely what role did you play what did you see that you didn't want to pay attention to what things do you wish you had done differently

What pieces do you wish that your partner had seen and accepted from you differently? Where did you wish you would have said less and where did you wish you would have said more? What do you learn from this relationship? And if when you say what you learn is just that I want to make sure that the next person is...

What pieces do you wish that your partner had seen and accepted from you differently? Where did you wish you would have said less and where did you wish you would have said more? What do you learn from this relationship? And if when you say what you learn is just that I want to make sure that the next person is...

Or is less of this or more of that. Who do you want to be in the next relationship?

Or is less of this or more of that. Who do you want to be in the next relationship?

A relationship is a story of many people. It's not even a story just of two. Who was too involved in your relationship? Who was not involved enough? So there's a cast of characters in a relationship.

A relationship is a story of many people. It's not even a story just of two. Who was too involved in your relationship? Who was not involved enough? So there's a cast of characters in a relationship.

and uh and it's all those questions that you want to ask when you are in transition what what i think that's it i mean you can but they are both directions if you find yourself with a spotlight only on the other person and you in a passive receptive um stance you're missing yeah a whole pan of the story yeah and you're probably more of the problem than the of the relationship than them if you're just focusing on them probably

and uh and it's all those questions that you want to ask when you are in transition what what i think that's it i mean you can but they are both directions if you find yourself with a spotlight only on the other person and you in a passive receptive um stance you're missing yeah a whole pan of the story yeah and you're probably more of the problem than the of the relationship than them if you're just focusing on them probably

A relationship is not about this person and that person. The relationship is what happens in between. This is my view on relationships. It's not an essentialist view, this is this personality and that personality. It's the dynamic. You can have a dynamic with a certain partner. You've had dynamics with certain partners. And of course, it was just the right fit between the match and the ignition.

A relationship is not about this person and that person. The relationship is what happens in between. This is my view on relationships. It's not an essentialist view, this is this personality and that personality. It's the dynamic. You can have a dynamic with a certain partner. You've had dynamics with certain partners. And of course, it was just the right fit between the match and the ignition.

And so you had enough inside of you to react with a certain kind of, let's put, your jealousy. But you may meet another person who acts differently, and you may still have a little bit of that jealousy inside of you, but it doesn't get activated because this person is responding very differently to you. And when you say, where were you?

And so you had enough inside of you to react with a certain kind of, let's put, your jealousy. But you may meet another person who acts differently, and you may still have a little bit of that jealousy inside of you, but it doesn't get activated because this person is responding very differently to you. And when you say, where were you?

They don't say, why do you always have to ask me that question? They just say, I just want to do this. It's all good, darling. I'm right here. I've got your back.

They don't say, why do you always have to ask me that question? They just say, I just want to do this. It's all good, darling. I'm right here. I've got your back.